For all the men-bashing e-mails that are shared, I felt it
was only fair to share this one from a different perspective.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here
are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note
... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If
it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
think of it that way.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera stars.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just
do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.

1 . Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is
also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not
worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect
an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as Scooters, booze, or even Budgies.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep
on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that,
it's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can -- to give
them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an
education.

:P