First off, let me say...



Warning: satire. This article is a continuation of my main article on RMS Commons.

Captain N: The Game Master



Mega Man's first real foray into animation began surprisingly early into his career as a video game character. In 1989 a group of well-intentioned but sadly very misinformed people at DiC Entertainment (yes, the same DiC Entertainment that brought us such classics as Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 and Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin --please note the trend here) decided that the Nintendo Entertainment System had enough licensing potential to put a TV series together (true visionaries, I know).



Somehow or another, a corporate pow-wow ensued and somebody got the idea to take a half-dozen or so video game characters that had nothing to do with each other and completely disregard original character design, established canon, the laws of physics, and of course good taste and slap them all into a 22-minute animated cartoon for children.

And that's how Captain N: The Game Master was born.


Just a taste of things to come.

Our beloved Mega Man got dragged into the whole affair along with Simon Belmont from Castlevania, Pit from Kid Icarus, Link from The Legend of Zelda, Mother Brain from Metroid, and even a character based on a Game Boy. All of the characters in the show ended up being very, very loose interpretations of their original versions (Simon Belmont was uncharacteristically vain and antagonistic; Mega Man and Pit both spoke with absolutely awful speech quirks [they made NT Warrior GutsMan sound decent, guys-- that's pretty bad]; Mega Man was actually transformed into a human later into the series because he was upset about being an unfeeling robot [a ten foot pole isn't long enough to touch this one]; Mother Brain was a literal organic brain with a face living on a planet called Metroid; Link actually talked [lol]; and dozens of other inconsistencies that I won't even begin to try to list here).


I'm trying to ignore the fact he's wearing a party hat over a helmet. I'm really, really trying.

Captain N's plot was about a human teenager named Kevin Keene being transported into the "video game world" and interacting with the aforementioned characters. The stories told were unbelievably campy as one might expect from a Saturday-morning styled cartoon, most of which were the standard-fare "This Episode Focuses Primarily On This Character" routine. Surprisingly enough, whether it was due to licensing restrictions or some other unknown reason, the show was not merchandised to death. In fact, I don't think I've seen a single piece of Captain N merchandise ever besides the comic book the show was inspired by and then the DVD box set that came out just recently, though this is probably a good thing.


Mega-hi there.

Normally, the average satirical review would nitpick Cap's Mega Man for at least another dozen or so paragraphs, and I can't blame them-- he's green (which is the most offensive change right off the bat), his voice is weird, his personality is off the mark (it's like they couldn't decide whether he was a human or a robot-- if he was an unfeeling robot, why would he want to become a human? How would he know the difference? And of course, good ol' F.X. Nine certainly wasn't doing them any favors...), and there are probably a dozen other flaws I could point out. However, I'll be honest and tell you it's my personal opinion that Mega Man himself isn't really all that bad in Captain N. (Wait until I get to Ruby Spears' Mega Man, that's where the real venom will start pouring out.)


"Pssh! More like Doctor WRONG! Hee hee!"

No, where I have the problem isn't with Mega Man, "Dr. Wright" (that can admittedly be explained as them using the written material from the Mega Man (1) manual for the NES), or even "Mega Girl". (Actually, I've always thought Mega Girl was kind of cute...)


DRN-007: Fire Man. Hate to say it, but it just kinda goes downhill from here.

THIS is where I draw the line. The Robot Masters already had PRE-ESTABLISHED DESIGNS. Sprites, official art, heck-- they were even on the box art of a few of the early games. (Of course, so was Mega Man, so I guess I don't have too much room to whine. It can always get worse.) I can understand simple redesigns here and there, but this... this is Adaptation Decay at its absolute finest. I'd go on and on about Captain N, but it's late and I have more series to cover. I'll leave you with these scarring images.


This is either Trash Compactor Helmet Man, or Vacuum Cleaner Donut Face Man; I always get the two confused


Believe it or not, but the blue and green thing is supposed to be Quick Man


I, uh, yeah. Next


Hah! You guys thought TorchMan was FireMan.EXE's NT Warrior rename but turns out you were lied to! Ha, ha!


DIC ENTERTAINMENT's Forewarn alerted it to AQUA MAN, seven years in the future!


Electric Bomb Visor Drill Crash Button Man

Mega Man: Upon A Star


Running dramatically across a bridge for super everlasting peace

Mega Man's next major foray into animation wouldn't be until Upon A Star in 1993 (I'm a little fuzzy on the date here, this was the best I could gather-- someone correct me if I'm wrong). Upon A Star is a three episode anime OVA (read: long enough to get you interested in it and then bam-- it's over) that as far as I can tell was at least a potential pilot for Ruby Spears' attempt at Mega Man (yes, that's still below). This is without a doubt one of Mega Man's better moments as an animated series in terms of visual accuracy but it still falls quite a long distance from the mark. "But it's Japanese-made, right? It's made by the guys who originally created Rockman, right? Surely that's gotta make it good?" Hah, hah! No, seriously. That doesn't mean a hill of beans.



I can just imagine the producers having a conference right now.

Producer 1: We want to educate people about Japan.
Producer 2: Yes.
Producer 1: We'll use Rockman.
Producer 3: Who?
Producer 1: You know, that little blue robot guy.
Producer 4: You know, Tetsuwan Atom?
Producer 3: *as if he's suddenly remembering things he tried to block out as a child* Oooooooooh.
Producer 1: *glaring at Producer 4* Not quite, but okay. Anyway, we want to teach people about Japan. How about if we have Rockman transported into the real world, and he can learn about Japan from Japanese children?
Producer 4: Wait, didn't something like this happen about four years ago? Yeah, in America?
Producer 1: NO. SHUT UP.
Producer 4: ;A;
Producer 1: Then it's settled. Artist guy, what do you think? Can you whip us up some characters?
Artist guy: Well I think we can have two American parents and inexplicably, Japanese children.
Producer 1: Brilliant!
Producer 2: You're truly ahead of your time, Artist guy.
Artist guy: *beaming* I'm also thinking we can put Roll in a goofy costume.
Producer 3: Hold on a second. Are we talking normal goofy or stringently goofy?
Artist guy: We're talking nuclear goofy.
Producer 3: *faints with a dramatic swoon*
Artist guy: I only have one stipulation. Can you put 95% of the budget towards the art, so that the plot of the story ends up being mostly random tidbits about Japan and not really resembling Rockman in any way?
Producer 1: I foresee no problems with that.
Producer 2: Shall we go grab some drinks, boys?
Artist guy: Heh heh! You read my mind!


Go, Beat! Kick his butt! Yeah! Woo!

The OVA didn't actually get released over here until 2002-ish. There are three episodes on it, titled Appearance in Japan, Wishing Upon a Star, and Future Beware. Like Ruby Spears' Mega Man would do a year later, Upon a Star was apparently crafted with the sub-mission of promoting the then-recent Rockman 5 (in addition to its primary "Teach Other People About Japan" plan), since the majority of the Robot Masters featured in it are from that specific game (though I vividly recall Elec Man and Guts Man popping up in one of the episodes, but you're nuts if you think I'm watching all of them again just to find out which one).



The art in this show is amazing, completely the polar opposite of Captain N. Everyone looks really accurate (apart from Roll's previously-shown "battle armor" which was more of a visual joke than anything). However, in the process of making the show look good, the plot takes a drastic hit.



The entire OVA series is, as I've stated before, essentially a licensed educational show. The series basically involves the Mega Man characters knowing they're all video game characters, and then watching their interaction in the real world. Blues is sort-of evil sort-of not-- he's shown conversing with Wily in Episode 3 which starts to make you think he's evil, but then he disagrees with Wily and gets run over by the Skullker. It's really, REALLY confusing. The majority of the episodes' content is ridiculously long filler scenes of Rock flying around on the Rush Jet or Wily just slinking around; nothing worth noting happening. The children in the show are generic to the point of bleh, and the parents are comically unimportant.


"My hands! The fire extinguishers do nothing!"

In addition to the dreaded horror that is Time Travel appearing in this OVA, Wily also builds a giant robot titled "Samurai Man" (that looks like a really pathetic Yamato Man DX) out of smaller robots (yes, I know, I KNOW DANG IT), Rush flip-flops back and forth between being able to talk intelligently and not being able to talk at all (what), Fliptop gives Rock a lecture about energy cans, a battle ensues at Mt. Fuji, everyone goes to a festival (more than once, if I remember right), and Wily plays Santa Claus for all the little kids.


See what I mean? It's like a really, REALLY freaky Yamato Man!

Then, of course, there's...

Ruby Spears' Mega Man



...also called Mega Man: TAS, The Mega Shows, and That Terrible Old Mega Man Cartoon, this was the animated Mega Man show created in 1994, and much to my surprise was actually not only Capcom-sanctioned but also Capcom-CREATED. Yes, Capcom actually did this themselves, and from Japan, no less! It just goes to show you that you can't trust anyone.


"Hey, Proto Man-- what does the scou--" "DON'T EVEN."

What is there that can be said about RSMM that I or those far more eloquent than myself haven't said before? The animation style and art quality is arguably far better than Captain N, but the downfall of the show is everything else. Here's a nice, partial list of grievances I have with it.

-The whole "Proto Man is evil" thing, but that's a given.
-Roll's stereotypical "I'm a non-stereotypical woman" personality. Seriously, isn't trying not to be stereotypical kind of stereotypical itself?
-Mega Man being a trigger-happy superhero causing millions of dollars in property damage. "No thanks, we can handle Dr. Wily without you." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, we just rebuilt City Hall... again."
-Muscles
-The episode scripts were unbelievable (The Curse of the Lion Men, for instance). They seemed to all follow so many of the consarned generic episode plots for cartoons, such as "The Generic Shrink Episode" and "The Generic Body Switching Episode" and let's not forget "The Generic Amnesia Episode". Fun times.
-Dr. Light is the biggest ditz in the world. He's so clueless that he apparently can't even realize why a bathroom would be locked from the inside out.
-Mega Man needs to brush his teeth... why?
-RUSH OH THE PAIN GAHHH
-And the list goes on, and on, and on...


Vacuum-chan, vacuum-chan, does whatever housekeepers can

I plan on one of these days finishing up my complete lambasting of Ruby Spears, and when I do, I'll go head-over-heels ripping it to shreds. For now, I'll just point out a few of the bright, shining episodes.

-"Robosaur Park": Wily finds a way to make robots "de-evolve" into apes. Next.
-"Campus Commandos": Robots go to school! Yeah! And Top Man! And robot salads! NEXT
-"Night of the Living Monster Bots": The title isn't enough for you?
-"Curse of the Lion Men": Wily's gang stumbles on a strange ancient race of half-men, half-lions that try to turn all the people in the world into guys like them.
-"Bad Day at Peril Park": Humans being hypnotized into thinking they're robots. So let's see, we've got robots turning into apes, robots turning into teenagers, humans turning into lions, and now this? >_>;
-"Mega X": RAWR I ARE X I BLOW THINGS UP IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE ALSO WE SPELL SIGMA WRONG


but i thought megaman lose all his energeys if he get wet

RSMM wasn't completely without merit. The Robot Masters were, for the most part, highly accurate apart being oversized and muscular (with the exception of Dive Man, but come on-- it's Dive Man). They ended up being the right colors, with the right names, and used attacks relatively similar to what they did in-game (rather than Captain N's Wood Man and his vine whip of glory... >_>). The animation itself was of relatively good quality (very little of the squash-and-stretch sight gag garbage that haunted cartoons in the mid-nineties), and the voice quality was alright (quite a few of my favorite voice actors were from this show including Ian James Corlett, who ironically enough played Dr. Wily in Captain N. Go figure!).


Metal under tension, begging you to touch and go

And as hypocritical as this sounds, I'd rather watch the train wreck that is Captain N...

MegaMan NT Warrior

...than this.


"Lan, do you see that?" "I sure do, Maylu! That's our imminent demise, right there!"

Don't get me wrong. I'll watch Rockman EXE (ESPECIALLY Axess) any day of the week and twice on Sunday with you. The show itself I don't have a problem with-- great plot, great characters, whole nine yards. Fab stuff.

MegaMan NT Warrior is a different story.

I'm stating this up front, though; my nitpicks with NT Warrior are many, but the one I will absolutely NOT criticize is the vocal quality. Ocean Group did a fine job of dubbing the show, even though the casting itself isn't that great. You can argue that with me all you want and I'm not budging; I'm a die-hard Ocean fan.


"And with this Death Note, I shall--" ...wait, right voice actor, wrong series.

NT Warrior got mangled so badly on its import over here it's unbelievable. Rampant name-changes galore (SpikeMan, WackoMan, TorchMan, HeavymetalMan, WindblastMan, MoltanicMan, and those are just the Navis!), blurred swords, blurred guns, cut-out scenes, and that's just the beginning of it. Ridiculous dialogue (MagicMan's rhyme thing? Scottish Match? My obsession with calling everyone a puppet?) powered the show like some kind of demented fuel, and then there's just the nitpicky stuff like "Laser Blast" with "High Cannon" and "Mega Cannon" following it up. Viz and ShoPro went all out stripping NT Warrior down.

There were so many established conventions in Battle Network that NT Warrior didn't even pretend to try and follow. Chaud Blaze? BlazeTech? AyanoTech? Maylu? (Though technically I can let that one sort-of slide, since it is a possible romanization of her Japanese name, plus calling her Mayl wouldn't -sound- the way it looked...) I understand censoring for kids and all that, but unnecessary change is just that: unnecessary change.


I'm in your NetBattle colosseum, snarking at your failure

Another one of NT Warrior's flaws (besides dumbing down the plot, the characters, the names, and really everything in the show) was the poor choice of casting. While I will say the voices sounded amazing, they all sounded like they were coming out of the wrong characters. There are times when I think Roll sounds more masculine than MegaMan (she does sound quite a bit scratchy) and then of course there's IceMan... *shudders*

MegaMan NT Warrior is also one of those shows that got a complete soundtrack rewrite, which was absolutely crushing if like me, you happened to have seen and fallen in love with the original. The Cross Fusion/Soul Unison theme song of Axess was such a memorable and enjoyable tune for me, and hearing it replaced with the grinding electronic music honestly hurt my feelings. I love techno, don't get me wrong-- but NTW's stuff is truly --as Kun put it-- "generi-music".


I'm with you, Lan

If all of that wasn't enough, NT Warrior even started to influence the games there at the end. I truly think if the series had lasted as much as one more Battle Network game, we would be seeing the full effects of NT Warrior-ized localization, right down to all of the Battle Chips being renamed and the game being called something like MegaMan NT Network.

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In summary, MegaMan has had a colorful history in animation over the course of the last two decades. I hope you enjoyed reading this article. Please direct any and all hate mail towards this guy. Until next time.