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 Teachers and Cops, heh
DouglaKing
  Posted: Sep 17 2009, 11:01 AM


D' GiRLs' DeM DaRLiN


Group: Member
Posts: 2,803
Member No.: 2,121
Joined: 30-December 08



Teachers & Cops..Ya gotta love 'em



These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded.

1 Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an 'idiot'.
5.Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child, beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.



These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

13. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
14. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They stretch after awhile.'
15. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
16. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
17. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
18. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
19. 'Yes,sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?'
20. 'Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
21. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
22. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
23. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
24. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
25. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
26. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
27. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
28. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'


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avinashr
Posted: Sep 18 2009, 08:47 AM


D' Two TeN TeAsEr


Group: Member
Posts: 2,132
Member No.: 2,243
Joined: 12-March 09



the police one was hahaha-024.gif

the teachers was laugh.gif


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"Hate the sin, love the sinner," Mahatma Gandhi
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Sly
Posted: Sep 18 2009, 11:14 AM


WeSt SiDe KiLLaH


Group: Member
Posts: 10,001
Member No.: 1,955
Joined: 9-September 08



the police 1 FTW hahaha-024.gif


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U Shouldn't Throw Stones if u live in a Glass House and if u Hav a Glass Jaw u Should Watch yr Mouth...

U either In CrEePeRs Or U Out .. U Cant b Both or When Its in Yr favor..
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