Legend Of The Nerds United, Written by Tom Wells and Timmy Hartong

The Legend of the Nerds United by Timmy Hartong and Tom Wells. Edited by Tom Wells.

Disclaimer to all who read this: The personalities, IQ, and temperaments of students may have been altered in the making of this story. Please realize and understand that this story is meant to be completely humorous, and entirely fictional. If you’re offended by this story, then deal with it! Now onto the story….

Walking out of his first period class with 4 sheets of paper in his hand, each one for a member of the group, Tom scans each one while making his way up the stairs to English. His thorough examination of each paper tells him that all of them are correct and the plans have been set into motion with nothing left to stop them. Moments later, Tom finds himself in English, where the other members of the group had been anticipating his arrival. As he walks in the door, Tom nods at the fellow members of his group who meet him at the door and read the handout they were given.
“All is going according to plan guys, and this is the information you need. Memorize it by next period.” Tom says, putting down his oversized book bag next to his desk.
“Tom” Chris speaks up for the group “Are you 100% sure that this is correct?”
“Yes, I am sure.” Tom replies as the bell rings and all the members of the group take their seats and endure the pain of their English class.
After 48 minutes of unimportant reading, the group make their way to Geometry with a smile on their face, for the first time all year mind you. They make their way to their seats after they get in the classroom. Shane, the football player of the group, makes his way to the desk in the corner that he always sits at with his small book bag, which is relatively empty. Chris, the clown of the group, makes his way to a seat in the center of the room, completely surrounded by all the students. Timmy, the slowest member of the group, makes his way to his seat in the front row, all the way across from the door. Finally, Tom, the mathematical genius of the group, makes his way to his seat next to Chris, plopping his booking bag on the floor. All four members of the group nod at each other and prepare themselves for what is about to come. Mere moments after all the members of the group have sat down, the bell rings, and class begins.
“All right guys, its time for the test, so clear off your desks.” The teacher says, starting to pass out the tests. The members of the group all take a deep breath and begin the test, waiting for the moment to arise.

* * * * Ten minutes later * * * *
“What the…how are we even supposed to do this?!” Meredith asks, with a confused and blank look on her face.
Emily looks up and says: “Question 22?” Meredith nods “Yeah, I know what you mean! This is impossible!” Tom and the rest of the members start to laugh to themselves as they know everything is going better than they could’ve hoped.
“Quiet!” The teacher says with a scornful look on her face.
“But, Mrs. Cunningham, just look at this question!” Meredith Exclaims.
Mrs. Cunningham walks over from her desk and examines the question. She looks back up with a hint of curiosity in her eyes and asks: “Now, which group wrote this question?” Three of the four members of the group look at each other, consenting to Tom who raises his hand.
“What were you guys thinking?!” She exclaims with an angry tone in her voice.
“That’s for giving us a 17!” Tom replies as he notices that everyone else in the room is looking at him.
“Shut up!” Tim yells, fearing what Tom will say next.
“Yeah, that’s right! You’ll pay for what you did to us with a bad grade on this test!!” Chris exclaims and starts laughing.
“Not cool dude.” Nate says.
“Oh my God, what a bunch of losers!” James says, looking disgustedly at the group.
“We’re not losers…we’re nerds!!” Tom exclaims, causing Tim to inch slowly from his desk to the door.
“Wow, that is low. You’re all fricking insane.” Nate says, looking angrily at the group.
“You’re right, and we’re proud of it!” Tom exclaims, causing Timmy to move ever closer to the door and ever farther from his desk.
“Just because you have a problem with society doesn’t mean that you have to take it out on us!” Kate says.
“You’re part of society so you deserve it .” Tom says.
“What the…I don’t think their questions should count!” James says.
“Oh no, they count, they’re part of the test!” Chris says.
“And don’t even think of arguing with me, I could take that all day.” Tom says, looking over at James who is not getting out of his seat and pacing towards Tom.
“So you want a piece of me?” James says.
Tom walks towards James, meeting him at the center of the room and says: “Bring it on, lightweight!” Tom then throws the first punch, which successfully lands on James’s jaw. Unfortunately for Tom, he is weak, and James returns the blow and floors Tom. Chris then jumps on and tackles James, but, just as Chris does that, Sarah comes over and begins kicking Chris in the ribs. Shane, noticing that his fellow members were in trouble, throws his unusually overstuffed book bag at Sarah, hitting her in the stomach. Before long, the whole class has begun fighting. Mrs. Cunningham, seeing that this riot cannot be settled any other way, decides to get out of the room while she still can.
Timmy on the other hand, begins to beg: “Please spare me! I’m not one of them! All I wanted were a few easy multiple choice questions!” This begging does him no good unfortunately as Nate lunges at Timmy from atop a near desk. Timmy rolls off to the side, and uses Nate’s momentum to send him flying into a desk behind him. Angered by what Timmy has just done, the rest of the mob charges relentlessly, attacking Tim with everything they have. Timmy skillfully beats back the first few waves with a combo of roundhouse kicks and a flurry of punches. After many waves of this brutal fighting, the mob of students barely take him down. Shane, who has been holding his own in the corner, swinging a book bag in front of him like a scythe, now finds himself in trouble as one of the students jumps down on top of him from one of the desks, taking him down to the ground. Before long, the whole group is down, tied to the legs of the teachers desk.


Part 2 will be coming soon, let me know what you think!

----Part 2:

“What are they doing now?” Shane asks the same questions he has been asking every 2 minutes for the last 20 minutes.
Chris, agitated with the question responds: “For the last time Shane, they are just sitting there and talking! That’s all they’ve been doing for the past 20 minutes! That’s what they’re doing now, and that’s what they were doing two minutes ago, so, when you ask what they’re doing two minutes from now, I’ll tell you that they’re just talking, got it?!”
“Well…what exactly are they talking about?” Shane says slowly.
“What the hell do you think they’re talking about?! Us you retard! Shane, if they don’t kill you, then I will!” Chris yells.
“What do you think they’ll do with us?” Shane asks.
“We’re all gonna die man! We’re all gonna die!” Timmy screams like a maniac.
“The worst that could happen to us is that we could all get expelled. Who needs school anyways?” Tom asks.
“I’m too young to die! Take Tom! He eats healthier so he’ll taste better!” Timmy yells histerically.
“Shut up! Stacia says, smacking Timmy on the back of the head. “Let the purple nurple festival begin!” she exclaims and everyone gangs up on the group.
“Oh god! Not my nipples! It was cold out this morning, they’re still perky!” Chris yells as the mob proceeds to grab at them, pulling and twisting them in every which may making the whole group yell in excruciating pain.
“I’m pretty sure this is against the Geneva Convention you guys!” Timmy screams. After 5 more minutes of this cruel, evil, and sadistic torture, the mob finally stops.
“Oh…my…God…Shane, tell me they’re still there.” Chris says.
“Does it still hurt?” Shane asks and Timmy unties his hands and proceeds to flick Chris’s nipples.
“Oww! God Damnit Timmy!” Chris says and head butts Timmy.
“Yup, I’d say they’re still there. Chris is still the pussy he was before.” Timmy says.
“I am not a pussy! If any of us are pussy’s its Tom!” Chris yells “I mean, after that one punch, Tom was knocked out for the count!”
“Hey, come on now, that doesn’t mean I’m a pussy, it just means James is really strong.” Tom says, trying to buy his way out of this one.
“Hey Tom, guess what, you gut owned, and guess what they call the guy who loses: A pussy.” Timmy says, while Shane and Chris start laughing.
“Oh well, I’m more of a pacifist anyway!” Tom says as he shrugs.
“You’re a thing that babies suck on?” Shane asks.
“No you retard, that’s a pedophile!” Timmy says, causing Tom and Chris to laugh.
“No your dumbasses, it means that I don’t fight!” Tom says, laughing his butt off.
“Your mom doesn’t fight…well at least she didn’t fight me last night.” Chris says.
“You mother fucking bastard!” Tom yells.
“That’s right, your mother!” Chris says, and Chris and Timmy start laughing.
“Guys, stop! Can’t you see? It’s turning into the Lord of the Flies!” Shane says, causing the rest of the group to look at him with a blank expression on their faces.
“Dude, we’re in Geometry, not English. You just completely ruined the moment.” Timmy says and sighs dejectedly. Shane scratches his head and looks away and says: “Oh…well….sorry, I guess.”
--------------------------The mob--------------------------
“How about we take these yard sticks and beat ‘em until they burst open like piñata?!” Stacia exclaims, with and evil grin on her face.
“I don’t know….it sounds pretty messy, maybe we should get some garbage bags to spread out across the floor.” Angela says.
-----------------------------Our Poor Little Nerd Friends----------------------------
“You know what would be really great right about now?” Tom says, looking up at the ceiling.
“You mean other than a really hot girlfriend? Or in your case, a life?” Timmy asks and everyone but Tom starts laughing.
“Ha ha, very funny. No, I was thinking more like a robot that could rescue us right about now.” Tom says.
“Yeah…Tom, I don’t think our A.I has advanced enough for that to happen.” Shane says while looking at tome with a blank expression on his face.
“Uh…guys, what does A.I. stand for?” Timmy asks causing the rest of the group to look at Timmy with their eyes widened with a blank expression on their faces.
“Timmy, you’re kidding me, right?” Chris asks.
“What does that A stand for?” Timmy asks the group and everyone shakes their heads at him.
“Artificial.” Shane says.
“Ok, so then what does the I stand for?” Timmy asks.
“Intelligence, something you obviously have none of!” Shane says and we all laugh except Timmy.
“Yeah, mmhmm. What about the A again?” Timmy asks.
“Timmy!” Shane exclaims “Did you ride the short bus to school today?” He asks and everyone laughs.
“Seriously now Timmy, how many times you were dropped on you head as a baby?” Chris says, and everyone shakes their heads at Timmy.
“Six times actually, but I don’t see how that concerns you.” Timmy says and we all laugh.
“Anyways, as I was saying, I would love to have a robot here right about now.” Tom says, continuing where he left off at.
“Timmy, you following this so far?” Shane asks to make sure we haven’t lost Timmy yet again with the talk of A.I.
“I think so.” Timmy says “Lets see, Tom wishes that a handsome robot was here to rescue us, so that makes Tom…a gay robot?!” Timmy exclaims.
“Yes Timmy, Tom is a gay robot.” Shane says sarcastically, and we all laugh.
“Hey, will you guys shut up? Geez!” Meredith says in a frustrated and angry tone.
“We’d better be quiet guys, I daren’t disobey her.” Chris says.
“So like, I heard Jessica Simpson and Brad Pitt are doin’ it.” Meredith says.
“Really?” Liz says lost in thought “I thought he was with Angolina Jolie.”
Tom, annoyed by the current conversation at hand says: “Here’s an idea, nobody frickin’ cares!” Meredith then picks up a geometry book and beats Tom over the head with it.
“Oww, Damnit, Stop!” Tom says as he helplessly takes the blows from the book.
Meredith hits Tom one last time and then puts the book down and says: “You’d never understand the kind of attention celebrities have to deal with!” She fakes another smack with the book and walks back to Liz, leaving Tom cringing in the corner.
“……………Two, for flinching!” Timmy says.


This post has been edited by MasterSquall on Sep 17 2006, 03:40 PM

Interesting. I really don't see the comedy in it..and a little bit confusing. More like revenge over anything. Want more! So I can understand.

Haha, I'll work on that. You'll just have to wait and see, ne?

I see. Well I can't wait for more! ^^; hee hee. Keep us updated!

Of course, of course let me work on it some right now, and I will have an updated first post in about an hour or so.

Its pretty interesting

Well, there will be more to come after I get some time to get more of of my calculator. Right now, I'm in program 2 of 7 as far as the story goes, and I have to add details to it so it might take a while.