Last night as I lay sleeping I died or so it seemed
Then I went to heaven But only in my dream.
Up there, St. Peter met me Standing at the pearly gates
He said "I must check your record.Please stand here and wait."

He turned and said "your record Is covered with terrible flaws.
On earth I see you rallied For every losing cause.

I see that you drank alcohol And used drugs too
Fact is you've done everything A good person should never do.

We can't have people like you up here coz Your life was full of sin."
Then he read the last of my record, Took my hand and said"Come in."

He lead me up to the big boss and said "Take him in and treat him well.
He used to work in a call centre. He's done his time in hell !!!