WELCOME

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Quincy slowly nodded as he watched the lips of the nurse moved at what seemed a hundred miles an hour. His hands tucked deep into his back pockets, Quin tried to listen to the nurses' instructions on preparing lunch. it was impossible to follow. She was talking with her hands and pointing to three things at once. Quin was a afraid to ask questions but as usual, he watched her end with a small smile cresting upon her cheeks. She was tall, quite pale but working in an asylum would make Quin lose his color as well. The nineteen year old brown head had to refrain from laughing at the thought of him being paler than he already was. Following her to the counter he looked at the stove as the water began to overflow.

"I have this all under control. If I need any help, I'll be sure to get another nurse or maybe just call you form upstairs." Quin spoke evenly, with a smile printed across his face.

He wasn't quite sure as to why she was talking so fast or as to why she was in such a rush when leaving but he sighed lightly when she disappeared form around the corner. The kitchen was very empty. Nodding slowly, he enjoyed the silent stirs the he created mentally. Pulling at his jacket, he removed the clothing from it's sleeves leaving the red jacket on a coat rack closest to the door. It wasn't hard to maneuver around this area. Two large metal tables and an island that took up the middle of the kitchen but still left plenty of space for three people to pass by one another without even feeling the others passing wind. Tracing his finger along the edges of the counter he made his way over to the overflowing pot. His eyes became eye level with the nozzle as he turned the fire down to a 6. Another sigh left his slender frame.

Lonesome was Quincy's worst enemy. Being alone for too long lead him to thinking. Looking down at his semi-casual attire, he wanted to look as comfortable as possible. A long sleeved black thermal like turtle neck and all black jeans. Rolling the sleeves up slowly, Quin grew suspicious to the sounds around him. The Asylum wasn't his normal place to be stuck at alone. He wasn't too comfortable with each patient and he was never comfortable knowing the some high concern patients were free to roam on special permission.

But he was calm. Catching his racing thoughts with a lasso of tranquility. he knew ways to calm himself before his mental situations got out of hand. Placing his hands on his hips, Quin soon began to think. Looking around the beautifully schemed kitchen, his thoughts fled to the many words the nurse spat at him going at lights speed.

"Chicken noodles and jell-o."

Quin attempted at recalling the thoughts but gave up after the same menu came to mind. Pacing the floor softly, Quincy pulled out the proper utensils for making jell-o. Opening the cabinet above him, the sudden commotion of falling boxes came to him in an instant. "This is just too much."

Shaking his head softly, he began to recollect each box.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

Darin grumbled softly when the guard knocked rather loudly on his door. ”What?” He shouted in response. The guard at his door kept quiet for a few moments before knocking again. Pushing his thin frame from the bed in the corner, Darin made his way to the door. ”What the hell could you possibly want now?!” He shouted again as the door was opened and he was forced to stare a rather muscular man in the eye. “It’s time for lunch; get your ass in the dining room.” Darin blinked a couple of times and looked back into his room at the clock hanging on the wall just a few feet above his bed. ”Well shit…” Darin’s voice lowered and a calmness formed around him. ”You should have said that in the first place.”

Yawning softly, he moved back into his room and picked up the shirt lying on the end of his bed. Early one of the nurses had come in and picked it out for him, as if he couldn’t pick out his own clothes. Slipping the black and white stripped t-shirt over his head, Darin looked around the small room that he’d grown accustomed to. He had most of his things in there; a few things were missing, but like that mattered anymore. He didn’t expect to be leaving the asylum anytime soon, so what was gone, was gone for good. Turning his attention back to the guard, he smiled a little. The guard looked impatient and kind of annoyed. They always looked so pissed off when forced to handle the “High Concern” patients. Like Darin was that dangerous. So he set things on fire, and occasionally broke a ton of shit. That didn’t really label him high concern, but whatever. It meant he was left alone in his room most of the time. That wasn’t all bad... A little boring at times, but it wasn’t horrible.

Finally walking towards the door, Darin moved passed the guard and out into the hall. His eyes trailed over the other doors of the high concern patients. Most of them were crazier then he was, that’s why he normally got let out first. One by one each high concern patient was led down into the dining hall, where they were left alone for a short period of time to eat. Swaying back and forth, Darin continued to walk down the hallway until he was brought to the elevator at the end of the hall. Why an elevator? Why not the stairs? Because patients can push people down the stairs. At least in an elevator they are limited for space. Still swaying back and forth Darin waited for the elevator to reach the bottom floor. Once the doors opened he was on his own for a few steps, then strapped with another guard to watch him like a hawk. As if the patients didn’t stare enough as it was. Grumbling quietly to himself, Darin finally reached the dining hall.

Looking around with a bored expression, Darin wandered for a short while. Looking at the clock on the wall, he grunted. Either he’d forgotten what time lunch was served, or it was late today. Glancing towards the kitchen, Darin blinked a couple of times, while trying to sort out his thoughts. Maybe he’d never known when lunch was. He’d grown used to being told when it was, that he never really checked the time, just went with the guard down the same shithole hallway into the same shithole elevator. Growing tired of standing around by himself, Darin made his way into the kitchen. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be there, but when did that ever stop him. Pushing through the doors, Darin stepped into the kitchen. Gazing around with dull gray blue eyes, Darin blinked a couple of times when his eyes fell upon the person preparing lunch. Once more he found himself blinking.

After a moment of processing the idea that someone was actually in the kitchen, a slender smile formed on his face. Moving even farther into the kitchen, Darin placed his hands on a countertop and pushed himself up, turning his body around, Darin moved into a seated position on the counter. Still gazing at the boy before him, he finally spoke. ”It’s not every day you find someone alone in the kitchen…” He paused a moment. ”Isn’t there normally multiple people cooking for us?”

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Quincy sighed as he began to slave himself over picking up small Jell-O filled boxes. It wasn't a difficult task but Quincy was already growing weary of the task. Looking over the pre-made pots of chicken noodles, he made the final pot. Turning the flame of each fire down to a 4, Quin raced across the kitchen from counter top to counter top to make serving after serving. He was quite curious as to why he was alone on the task but it was easy to handle.

Tapping lightly on the inside of the sink, Quin turned around slowly to see an unfamiliar face. It wasn't rare for him to cross paths with a patient every now and then. As soon as he spoke, Quin couldn't fight his smile. With a slow shrug, he didn't really know how to answer the question. "There were supposed to be more but they left. I don't really have a problem with serving you all."

The slow shrug came across his shoulders once more. Quin hated when he felt awkward. Wiping his hand off on a towel draped over his shoulder, he stuck it out for a friendly shake. "I'm Quincy. I'm a volunteer. You are?"

Quincy couldn't pull his face away from him. His eyes were beautiful. He was beautiful. There weren't many people that stood out to Quin in such a way but .. he did.

Quin pulled himself from his thoughts and dropped his hand back towards his side. "Maybe I should finish preparing the food. I don't want you guys getting angry and trying to burn the place to bits."

Quin softly laughed. Stirring the soup slowly, Quin continued to inconspicuously peek over his shoulder. There was something about him. Quincy was so .. fascinated by him. The small curious person inside of him wanted to take the time out to learn everything about the young man.

Quincy thought about times he fell so interested about males like him. He was judging the poor guy before he knew him. Softly shaking his head he continued to think about his past. Lovers and friends alike made him curious as to who they were, what their life was like when they were a child but it always ended poorly. He was either getting pushed aside like a weirdo or getting the cold shoulder. Quincy was the kind of guy who was always intrigued by life stories no matter how they always ended sounding more fucked up than his own.

Quincy softly giggled at the thought. There were people in the world with a past more fucked up than his own. Shocking.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

Darin’s eyes continued to follow the male around the kitchen, watching his actions closely. After several minutes of not being noticed, their eyes finally met. Tilting his head to the side, a curious gaze forming, Darin blinked a couple of times. So there were supposed to be more people. Darin rarely entered the kitchen, yet he knew the workings of the place. It was strange and somewhat normal all at once. He always seemed to know what was going on before anyone else. Moving on top of the counter, Darin’s attention was once again pulled to the male in the room. He gazed at the offered hand for a moment, making no effort to take it. So his name was Quincy. Smiling slightly, Darin locked the name away in his head. Who knew when they’d cross paths again? Might as well remember him on the off chance they do meet again. Volunteers never seemed to last long in the asylum. They always seemed to turn up in a body bag, or they finally got sit of being harassed that they left and never came back. Darin couldn’t remember all of the countless faces he’d seen within the last few months. Both of patients and staff around the asylum.

Turning his attention back to Quincy, Darin pushed his body from the counter. ”High concern patient of room 607, Darin Anders. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Darin gave an awkward smile. He never gave out introductions to people. Especially volunteers. They never paid much attention to him, so he found no reason to pay any back. As for the other staff, they all had his name on file. What’s the point of introducing yourself to a person who already knows who you are? Darin sighed at the thought; some days he wished people would pay more attention to him. Maybe then he’d be more content with his life, and perhaps he’d be a little less willing to blast them all to hell.

"Maybe I should finish preparing the food. I don't want you guys getting angry and trying to burn the place to bits." Lofting a brow in Quincy’s direction. Another slender smile formed on his face. ”That’s not a bad idea…” Darin thought quietly for a few minutes. If he was given the chance to blow the asylum sky high, he would gladly take it. It’s not every day you’re given the chance to blow shit up. When the thought passed through his brain, Darin couldn’t help but laugh softly. ”As great as that would be… They won’t let me near anything that can cause a flame. It’s truly a wonder I’ve been allowed to stick around in here for as long as I have.” His eyes found themselves scanning over Quin’s thin form once more. He couldn’t help feeling lucky for finding someone that actually showed an interest in him. But how long would that last?

Darin grumbled quietly, the thought stewing in his head. Why did he always have to question the intent of others? Was it because he was in the asylum and had been for enough time to feel betrayal and aggression towards most of the people he’d met? Or was there some other reason that he had yet to figure out? Taking a deep breath, Darin attempted to calm himself. Opening his mouth, he spoke in an inquisitive tone. ”So why the hell would you choose to volunteer in a shit hole like this?” Although he’d meant for the question to come out nicely, hints of anger managed to worm their way in. Silently cursing himself for being an ass, Darin grumbled a little more. Leaning against the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest, and continued to follow Quin around with his eyes.

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Quincy was once more laughing softly to himself. Darin Anders. Quincy found that name to be delectable in all possible ways. It was weird how he was jumping from feeling to feeling over a patient. Really, it was just to know him. Quincy promised himself on that thought. "They won’t let me near anything that can cause a flame. It’s truly a wonder I’ve been allowed to stick around in here for as long as I have." Quincy didn't stop the laugh as the statement came flowing through his ear canals. Why was Darin still in there? It hadn't been long but all of the guards were a bit crazy when it came time to keep a patient in line and keep them from the forbidden places.

Shrugging off the thought, Quin continued to cook. He was performing a solo act that was rarely seen around here but with the company he'd been blessed with, he wasn't to upset that he was cooking alone. From the small silent moment, Quin sighed as he heard Darin's next question.

"So why the hell would you choose to volunteer in a shit hole like this?"

Quincy wasn't too sure on that answer himself. He'd didn't' it for multiple of reasons: finding a new inspiration for his photography, making the patients feel not too alone as they spent maybe the rest of their lives here and even just to get to realize that the world is full of imperfection and sometimes you can even find beauty among that. But that wasn't the answer he wanted to give. He wanted to say something that didn't make him look too much like .. well .. Quincy.

"Do something out of the ordinary. Meet new people and realize that my life wasn't the worst thing out there." With a strong voice, he still spoke with softness coloring over his tone. He wanted to let Darin at least realize he wasn't doing it just because a judge told him to or just to do it with a friend. "I actually like this place. It's .. comforting almost but still makes me feel .. alive. Afraid that when I turn the corner I can easily die but still feel the thrill of risking my life."

Quincy wanted to slap himself. At least smash his forehead against the wall a few good time. "I can easily die? Now he might kill you or something. Nice going genius." His thoughts even had that angelic like voice but strong tone to it. He'd played himself off as the crazy one but he was no normal person. Quincy was the king of confusion and difficulty on so many levels that even the thought of who he was kind of made him get a headache.

Turning down the fire on the stove, Quincy turned and slightly leaned on the counter beside him. With both of his arms behind him and his head dropped to the ground, he still managed to look over at the boy not too far from him. Darin looked crazy but not even in the insane asylum term. Quincy tried to fight a smile as he really began to get a good look at him. But then again, he wasn't bad on the eyes. He attracted Quincy to him in a way that no one else could.

"Stop staring freak." The thoughts made his eyes drop back down to the floor.

"Um," Quincy slowly started searching for words. "I didn't know that being a pyromaniac could make you such a high concern. I thought there had to be more to a person that can't be fixed, mentally, to make them high concern?"

Quincy's eyes were lit with interest. He was about to jump into a pool of something that didn't even matter.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

Darin stood quietly, his arms still crossed over his chest. He couldn’t help but repeat the same question over in his head. Why would anyone choose to work in the asylum? Surely they had their reasons, everyone seemed to have a reason for what they did, but what would make them risk their lives on a daily basis? It’s not like the patients at the asylum really mattered much. They were placed here because society could no longer handle them. There were a few cases around the asylum where people actually chose to be there. Chances were they had rough home lives they no longer wanted to deal with. The very thought angered Darin. Some people had it so easy. They could come and go as they pleased, they weren’t forced to stick around.

Glancing back over at Quincy, the anger that had begun to fill him slowly melted away. He couldn’t be mad around Quincy for some reason. Taking a deep breath, Darin pushed the annoying thoughts aside. No point getting riled up over things he couldn’t control. At least not now, maybe when he was back in his room. It wasn’t uncommon to hear Darin shouting in his room. Or shouting at the guards outside of his room, what else was he supposed to do? Punch a wall and break his hand? Not likely. If he was going to hit something he would rather it be a person. At least then he wasn’t the only person feeling pain.

Shifting his attention from his own thoughts, Darin listened quietly to what Quincy had to say. Meet new people? He blinked a couple of times, trying hard to understand why someone would go to an asylum of all places to meet someone new. The next words Quin spoke broke his concentration completely. "I actually like this place. It's .. comforting almost but still makes me feel .. alive. Afraid that when I turn the corner I can easily die but still feel the thrill of risking my life." Darin gave Quincy a blank stare. This would have been one of those moments in the movies. What were they called again? Spit takes? Yeah, that was it. Where someone said something so outrageous the other person just couldn’t keep whatever they were drinking down. Darin eyes continued to stare blankly at Quincy. He wanted to say something. But what could he say? If the place made someone else feel somewhat comforted and alive, who was he to judge?

Finally dropping his arms to his sides, Darin moved around a few steps. He was beginning to get antsy just standing there. It wasn’t like Darin to sit still for a long period of time. It didn’t matter what state he was in. Sick, angry, tired, confused, etc. He always had to be moving, fidgeting with something, and picking at his nails. Sighing softly, Darin grumbled at Quincy’s next remark. "I didn't know that being a pyromaniac could make you such a high concern. I thought there had to be more to a person that can't be fixed, mentally, to make them high concern?" He thought about his words very carefully. Just how could he explain the situation? He was considered High Concern, but he was less of a threat than some of the other patients. So he set fire to a few buildings, he’d throw angry fits which always broke a ton of shit, he barely slept which always seemed to make him look more fearsome, and he always had the intent to kill with every fire he set. Could he really just blurt all of that out? Especially to some volunteer?

Darin looked at Quincy for a few minutes, his eyes gazing over the young man, confusion and annoyance slowly flooding his eyes. ”It’s complicated.” His words seemed simpler than he’d intended them to be. He wanted them to hold meaning and some kind of explanation, but after a few moments of repeating them in his head, he felt stupid for voicing them. Finally after choosing them carefully, Darin spoke in a tone that proved he was being serious. Not the same sarcastic and almost asshole like tone he had carried through most of the conversation. ”About a year or two ago, I set fire to a school… With all of the students inside. I remember going home not long after that and burning that to the ground as well. The courts claimed I had the intent to kill, the attorney proved that I was clinically insane.” He paused a moment, looking for some kind of reaction. People always looked at him strangely. Once they found out what he’d done, they normally deserted him. ”When I got here, I tried to burn down the hospital wing. Originally they had planned on keeping me with the other patients… But after that… They decided I would be better off by myself. Trapped in a quiet room, forced to think about what I’ve done.. It’s like a prison here…” Reaching his hand up, Darin ran his fingers through his hair while he turned his attention to the side. He couldn’t bear another set of eyes judging him, so rather than to look at Quincy directly, Darin turned his attention away, hoping it would soften the blow of the words that would soon follow.

Dropping his hand, Darin’s eyes finally dropped to the ground. After a couple of deep breaths, he looked up again. For the first time since his initial gaze at Quincy, Darin noticed just how attractive he was. Beautiful eyes, the kind of thin body Darin always loved. He smiled slightly; his curiosity was starting to get the best of him. Silently cursing his thoughts, Darin managed to push himself back on top of the counter, allowing his legs to dangle over the side, and his eyes to continue gazing in Quin’s direction.

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Crossing his arm over his chest, Quincy looked at Darin with a stern look covering his face. He was truly interested in the boy before him. Listening to his every word, Quincy thought nothing. he took in everything he'd said and never dropped the look on his face. His expressionless face still portrayed many other possible emotions.

"About a year or two ago, I set fire to a school… With all of the students inside. I remember going home not long after that and burning that to the ground as well. The courts claimed I had the intent to kill, the attorney proved that I was clinically insane."

Quincy's eyebrows shifted upward but slowly came back down as he slowly nodded to listen to his next set of words. "… They decided I would be better off by myself. Trapped in a quiet room, forced to think about what I’ve done.. It’s like a prison here…"

The dark haired green eyed boy had nothing to say. He wasn't shocked but he was rather .. intrigued. Wanting to know more, he refused to give the look of a starving puppy. Quincy tried gathering his words together mentally. He didn't want to say the wrong thing. "Why?"

Quincy wasn't sure how he would take the words. He didn't wanted Darin to look at him like he was an idiot or some nosy fuck of a volunteer who just wanted to go back home and fantasize over the crazy fucks he met in one day. Quin was just truly interested. "I mean, if you want to tell me. I could just read the file or whatever but it's just that .. I'd rather know .. how you feel about it." Quincy's voice was soft, innocent-like.

He didn't want to play the role of a psychologist, he refused to try to get inside someone's head just to try to fix it. No one ever needed fixing, they needed someone to listen, someone to agree with them no matter how absurd their reasons were. Quincy walked over close to Darin and planted himself beside him. Looking down at the ground, he occasionally looked up to the young man beside him. The food served no importance at this moment. Quin was attentive to something completely different and without a care in the world, Quincy gave Darin his full attention. There was so much Quincy wanted to ask but, his lips refused to work in the ways he wanted them to. Instead, they made their own little weird movement that made him seem a little more awkward than he needed it to be.

"What about friends? Have you made any here?" Quincy wasn't too sure on how Darin was on the friend level but he imagined it to be bad. Why would he make friends with people in worse condition than his own and he hated the place to high heaven? Quincy shrugged at the thought of him being the one stuck inside. Would he have made friends? Quincy was horrible at keeping a conversation alive for more than fifteen minutes and they had to be only .. five or six minutes in. Quincy was counting down the minutes. Darin would soon be tired of his continue of life concerning questions and probably dismiss himself from the kitchen out of pure boredom or maybe avoid his own violent outburst of wanting to set the young volunteer on fire. The thought only made Quincy get chills up and down his arms. He smiled at himself as he thought about the thrill that chilled his very bones every moment he was int he asylum. The rumors of dead volunteers found outside and even inside patients room. Even ones of those that took place in this very kitchen. But, Quincy kept them as just that, a rumor.

Looking over at Darin, he looked him in his eyes making it almost impossible for either one to break it. He wanted it to last, he wanted more than just a conversation about how fucked up life was. Darin made himself interesting to Quincy. Quin found himself in too deep and refusing to leave it where it lay. There was more to the both of them being together at this moment, had to be.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

Still feeling kind of awkward with himself, Darin quietly mused over the things he’d said. He’d been asked a question and he answered it honestly. It wasn’t like Darin to just ignore questions when they were asked. It didn’t matter how stupid or how unimportant they might have been, he’d still answer. Looking at Quincy, Darin sighed a little. Had he been too open about his reason for being in the asylum? People in the past had always abandoned him after hearing even the tiniest portion of his history. So what made this situation any different? His eyes began staring holes into the linoleum, after sighing softly, Darin straightened up a little. He was confident this situation would be different from the others. How did he know? Even he wasn’t sure, he just knew.

Looking to the side, Darin gave Quin a strange looked when he asked why. Why to what exactly? Why had he set the fires? Or why did he think the asylum felt like a prison? After thinking for a few brief moments, Darin settled on the first question. Why would anyone care about whether or not he thought the place felt like a prison? Starting to think about the answer, Darin was drawn away for a few seconds. "I mean, if you want to tell me. I could just read the file or whatever but it's just that .. I'd rather know .. how you feel about it." Darin laughed at the idea of Quincy reading his file, like much could be found by reading through a few scraps of paper with words that didn’t even scratch the surface written on them. Darin thought quietly about the question for a few minutes. Why did he set fires? Because he enjoyed the thrill of seeing the flames burn brightly and devour everything in sight. In his eyes fire was the perfect symbol of rebirth. The ability to start anew. If only that really was the case. If burning things to the ground could really bring him new freedoms then he wouldn’t be sitting on a counter in a kitchen somewhere in Eastern Europe.

Finally opening his mouth to speak, Darin began with a soft tone. One that would show his passion for fire, his love for something so beautiful. ”It’s beautiful…” He stated, his eyes focused on Quin’s face. ”It’s destructive and chaotic… But it also brings about new life, new chances, new opportunities. Burning down those buildings was just a test of the destructive capabilities. I wanted to see what the fire could do…” He paused again, silently questioning whether or not he should be telling his inner most thoughts to someone that would most likely up and leave him. Ignoring the annoying thought, Darin started back up again. ”I remember as a kid, when my parents would light fires. They always told me to stay away from it. Of course I didn’t learn.. Apparently I never do. I was so drawn to the fire. I couldn’t help but stare for hours on end, or until the fire finally went out. I’ve never seen anything it…” Darin stopped talking. He felt as if he’d said too much already. Looking at Quin, he finally realized how close they sat now. A smile surfaced on Darin’s face. Turning away, Darin looked at the ground, his eyes staring holes again.

After the moments of silence passed, Darin’s thoughts were interrupted by another question. "What about friends? Have you made any here?" Friends? Darin had made friends with a couple of people in the asylum, but they always seemed to leave him in the end. No one ever wanted to befriend the fire obsessed kid, for fear he might set them on fire as they slept. Anger slowly began to flood Darin’s senses. He hated when people left him. Every friend he made always seemed to leave. When he was younger they would move away. When he got older, they just stopped calling him back, and here in the asylum, they always seemed to disappear, which only added to the suspicion that Darin was the one behind it. His fingers tightened into a ball, until his eyes found their way to Quin’s face. Relaxing slightly, Darin sighed softly, allowing the anger to melt away once more. ”People don’t like to be around me for very long…” For a brief moment Darin sounded hurt, then he continued to speak. ”Guess I should be used to it by now. I’ve always been alone.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Darin felt like an idiot. He’d just admitted feeling alone to someone he didn’t even know. Someone who would probably go out and announce his tiny weakness to the world. Glancing at Quincy closely, Darin spoke in a harsh tone. ”You tell any of this to anyone, and I’ll burn you from the inside out.” His words were supposed to sound serious, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling at the end. He didn’t want to threaten Quin. Something about the boy made him smile more than normal, he didn’t want Quin to run off because Darin had made the mistake of threatening him.

Leaning backwards, Darin looked up at the ceiling, silently calculating what he’d say next. He figured it was his turn to ask a question. But what could he ask? Something personal? Something obvious? How about something random? Groaning a little, Darin sifted through different things he could ask about. Finally settling on something, he leaned forward again and looked at Quin closely. ”Photography was it?” Darin gave a curious look. He’d always enjoyed photography, even though he wasn’t very good at it. Hell, Darin wasn’t really good at much of anything, let alone something like taking decent pictures. ”Why photography of all things?”

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Quincy listened closely as Darin spoke. He loved the one in his voice. As awkward as it sounded, Quin loved how Darin's face lit up as he talked about something he loved, even if it was fire and possibly taking lives of so many other people. "I remember as a kid, when my parents would light fires. They always told me to stay away from it. Of course I didn’t learn.. Apparently I never do. I was so drawn to the fire. I couldn’t help but stare for hours on end, or until the fire finally went out. I’ve never seen anything it…" Quincy's face was colored with concern as he listened to Darin trailed off. Asking him about his friend situation, he was quite shocked to how sincere he was truly being. "People don’t like to be around me for very long…" Wanting to open his mouth to speak, he closed it slowly to let in his other sets of words. "Guess I should be used to it by now. I’ve always been alone."

Quincy made half of a smile as his thoughts began to fill his mind. Slightly opening his mouth once more, Darin quickly said something else that made him slightly scared. "You tell any of this to anyone, and I’ll burn you from the inside out." Looking at his smile, Quincy let a smile curve against his lips. He hated when he smiled this much around someone. He was giving himself away in the more obvious way possible. Taking his hands from his hands, her wrapped them around his stomach. Looking around the kitchen once more, he sighed as he smelled the chicken noodles for the first time since he prepared the other four two pots.

"Why photography of all things?" The question caught him a little off guard because he wasn't sure if he mentioned it before. Shrugging, he knew that his camera was probably sitting up somewhere. His mind searched for a reasonable answer. What could he say? Instead of thinking up of something to think up, he shrugged. "I was a kid who use to walk to the park and just .. stared at the trees because every season made this one tall oak tree make these beautiful colors. Soon enough, I got tired of walking to the park to see it. I saved up some money and that Christmas I gave my parents what I earned and told them to buy a camera." Thinking about the statement, he knew that that wasn't entirely why he was still into photography. "It's just .. something that makes me feel like I can create it and change it. The one thing in my life that I feel like I could control at that age. Growing up, I found it a better way to express how I felt without every knowing that the picture of that drooping leaf was my way of showing people how .. sad and alone I felt." Stopping to drop his head, Quin was quite confused on how he let Darin into the closed and locked door of his life. It was rare that Quin even spoke about him even having emotions, feelings or anything that made him feel anything beside .. happy. Quin took a deep breath as he began to look back over at Darin's open face. Quincy wasn't sure how he felt about this situation. Sitting so close to Darin made his skin feel cool in a weird sense of the term. He felt like moving closer but then it hit him. Was Darin being .. a friend or was he interested in him? Quincy almost damaged his brain trying to slice apart the difference of knowing him being friendly and him being .. interested.

Quincy wanted to ask but thinking back on the times he ran behind a camera to hide his pain, he pinched his lips into a think hard line. "I won't leave you. I plan on being here for .. a while. I don't see myself leaving you." Looking up at his face, the unsure feeling came brushing over him as he fixed his mouth to correct his statement. "Or anyone else here."

Quin took yet another deep breath as he bit down gently on his bottom lip. "I'm sorry if I seem too straight forward with this but," He stopped to gather his thoughts then stopped. Shaking his head softly, he avoided the rest of his statement. Jumping form the counter, he walked over to boiling pots to stir it's content once more before cutting the fire off. He wasn't sure when it was time to serve all the patients but he knew that he wasn't ready. He wanted more time with Darin even if he did feel a little awkward around him. There was something about him. Quin felt .. at ease.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

Darin sat there in silence for several moments. He still couldn’t shake the thought of how vulnerable he sounded. Never in his life had he opened up to someone, the psychologists knew next to nothing about him. Yet this volunteer. This one volunteer knew more about him then they did. Quin knew Darin’s love for fire, and how alone he felt. Even though Darin hadn’t gone into detail on it. He could sense that Quin knew the same loneliness. It was the look in his eyes when he spoke. He’d felt the same way, but for how long? The question bounced around in Darin’s brain for several more moments. Darin had always been alone, even with people surrounding him on a daily basis. He was truly alone. Few people called him friend and even fewer people called him lover. Sighing softly Darin couldn’t help feeling pathetic. Here he sat, on the kitchen counter in the asylum with someone he barely knew. He felt like an idiot for sharing how he felt, and yet at the same time he felt strangely relieved, like he’d always been looking for that one person to explain everything to.

Darin’s eyes dropped to the ground while he listened to Quin explain why he chose photography of all things. A means of expression, that’s why. He needed an outlet. A way to show people how he felt without actually saying it. Darin mused quietly over the idea. Maybe that was another reason he set fires. He did it for pure enjoyment, but maybe there was a hidden reason, something deep down inside of him that he wasn’t fully aware of. Glancing to the side, Darin watched as Quin’s position changed. After blinking a couple of times, Darin couldn’t help feeling somewhat sad for Quin. He knew he hadn’t done anything, at least nothing that he knew of, yet he still felt like shit. Confused by his thoughts, Darin sat there staring at the wall for awhile. Part of him wanted to say something that might help, but what the hell could he possibly say? ’I’m sorry life has sucked for you… Wish I could help.’ Yeah right. Like that would do any good. Darin wasn’t the kind of person to help situations; he always had a way of fucking things up. It’s what he did and it was just another reason why he was always alone. Even surrounded by like minded people, Darin couldn’t help feeling like he was the only person alive. The only one in the world that was truly fucked up. Everyone else seemed to get better, or at least their lives ended so they weren’t forced to live another day questioning their existence.

Being forcibly ripped from his thoughts, Darin stared at Quin when he spoke. "I won't leave you. I plan on being here for .. a while. I don't see myself leaving you." The words sounded like a joke. Why would anyone stick around the asylum if they didn’t have to be there? Still focused on the first set of words, Darin completely missed the second. He gave Quin a questioning glance, but chose to avoid asking what he’d said. Darin sat there quietly once more, his fingers gently tapping against the surface of his jeans while he thought. Perhaps Quincy was nuts. Maybe that was why he was still talking with Darin, maybe that was why he was still volunteering at the asylum, maybe that’s why he didn’t seem to want to leave. Once again his thoughts bounced around in his brain. Darin just couldn’t wrap his mind around the concept. No one should want to be in the asylum. He knew he belonged here, but it didn’t seem like Quin needed to be here.

Finally silencing his thoughts, Darin listened again to what Quin had to say. "I'm sorry if I seem too straight forward with this but," He shook his head. ”I don’t mind it..” Darin went quiet again. Unsure of what to say now. He felt like he had to say something, yet nothing seemed to come to mind. Watching Quin jump off of the counter, he watch the brunette walk over and take care of the food that Darin had originally been sent to eat. He wasn’t hungry anymore. The very thought of food made his stomach churn slightly. He just wanted to go back to his room and continue thinking some more. At the very same time he wanted to continue sitting in the kitchen listening to what Quincy had to say. It didn’t really matter what was being said, as long as words were being spoken Darin was happy. Happy… Darin sat thinking about the word and its meaning. Rarely did he ever use the word. It seemed to simplistic to properly describe his emotions. Was he really happy? Or just calm. The word calm nestled its way into Darin’s brain and stayed there for a short time. He was calm with Quin in the room. Even though they had only known each other for a short while, Darin felt as if he’d known him for longer than that. Perhaps days, weeks, maybe even months.

Still following Quincy with his eyes, Darin finally pushed his body from the counter. He stood there for a moment trying to figure out what to do next. Glancing around the kitchen, high concern patient Darin Anders looked lost. Reaching up, he scratched his head in a rather confused manner. He’d been in the kitchen very few times and out of all of them, he really hadn’t looked at the place. Gray blue eyes trailed back to Quin’s thin form, a smile forming on Darin’s face. ”Need any help? I may not be good for much, but if you tell me what to do.. I can at least try to figure it out.” The words spilled from his lips, the honesty of them cutting through the air into his ears. What was it about Quincy that made him so honest? Why… In such a short time, had he managed to lower his guard? Not far… But enough to fell comfortable with Quin around. What was it about this boy? Something special perhaps? Darin smiled at the thought. ”Something special...” He whispered softly. That’s what he was.

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Stirring the soup before turning off the fire, Quincy took a slow breath as Darin came close. He refused to finish his premature statement. He wasn't sure if things were supposed to be like this for a possible friendship or .. a possible something else. Quincy could never just let something .. be. He had to ponder upon it, relate it to times before in his life where he had been placed in situations like this before. But this was a new situation. This was something way out of who he was in his past and possible who he will be. He stepped into the ring of fire and the ring wasn't as big as it had been when he stood side by side with someone. He stepped into it alone. The asylum was his ring of fire. Sadly enough he couldn't help but to think of Darin being the one to pull him from it. His imagination was running frantically when he thought up things that concerned Darin and himself. But it wasn't on a friendship basis. Quincy never thought of someone stepping into his life and being a friend. He never had a true friend in his life and volunteering at an asylum, he didn't plan on making one. He wanted them to have a friend, not him. They were patients that needed help, they didn't need a friend. They needed an open ear and an open heart. Quincy was that but .. he didn't want the same thing. Shaking his head softly, he was confused. He didn't know what he wanted, he wanted so much but then the only thing he wanted was Darin. Looking over, he saw his face coming closer almost instantly. "He's a patient. You can't fall for him. You shouldn't. He doesn't need a friend or even a lover, he needs help. But then again, you could be his help. He told you something that apparently he told no one else." His frustration was growing. He wished he would just simply ask him if he was interested but things were moving so quickly. It had only been minutes into their conversation, twenty or thirty maybe, but he was so sure of things being something that they weren't. Refusing to violently react like he always did, he dropped his head instead.

"Need any help? I may not be good for much, but if you tell me what to do.. I can at least try to figure it out." Quin smiled softly at his offer. He was a few hands short and needed someone to make the jell-o. "Yeah, just pour this powder in when the water boils and then we'll put it in this pan." Stopping, he bent over to grab the pan from under the island cabinet. "Then we'll put it in the frig and then we can slice up the ones that are already made?" Quin smiled so faintly that in his mind he knew that Mona Lisa would have been so proud of him for replicating a smile as beautiful. Walking towards the cabinets where the boxes had fell from before, he pulled five boxes out and walked back over to the boiling pot. "Have you ever burnt yourself? Like, you said you can stare at it for hours but have you ever just .. tried touching it or been the one to run your finger over the flame of a lighter?" Usually the brunette boy would feel uncomfortable asking questions of people's past like that but the time spent with him, he didn't have that same feeling. instead, he kind of felt that over time things would progress. They would in fact get deeper and Quincy would finally realize what grounds they might have been leading to. Looking down at the almost boiling water, Quin tired the fire up only a notch to remember the time he burnt himself. Softly laughing, he stopped his thinking to hear Darin's soft whisper. "Something special? Who? Me? This?" Quincy refused to ask but he couldn't resist. He had to know. "Yeah, you are." Looking at Darin, Quin couldn't fight the smile. He couldn't leave it from crawling up against his lips once more. His cheeks were silently aching from the constant muscle pressure he put them through to produce smile after smile. This was unusual. Quincy was smiles over frowns for Darin and he wasn't even sure of his sexuality. Quin took his free head and ran his fingers through his hair to only watch it fall back to the front of his face. Blowing at the random strands, Quin soon fell into his own small piece of mind. There was no Darin at this moment but soon enough, he would return. Watching his hair blow from the wind he created, Quin was lost in imagination. Falling back upon memories of innocence and beauty. The beauty of his innocence but it was crushed. He looked over at the boy that was of his interest at the moment and yet he knew that he wouldn't be of interest if it wasn't for his father.

Pulling from the thought, he knew he began to stare. "If I didn't leave you and we grew to know each other more .. where would we end up being? Would we be friends or maybe .. something more? Something more than friends?" Quin knew he was afraid of him maybe being appalled to let him even know that he thought of him that way. He might have told him that things wouldn't end up either way and left him where he stood or maybe .. he would tell him exactly what he wanted to hear. These moments were when Quincy wanted to walk away, plant himself in the hallway and take pictures of the sun shining through a window but still capture the cold darkness hidden under the window. Maybe the walking away of a patient with them still quite looking over their shoulder in mental suspicion of someone watching them as if they were hiding something. Looking back at Darin, his soft smile fell into a subtle smirk.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

Darin stood there in the self made silence and watched the little things Quincy did. He felt somewhat like a stalker for some reason. Watching intently as the other person preformed whatever task it was that took up a majority of their focus. Darin tried to remember the last time he took that much focus to do something. Burning the school and his home never really took anything. It was instinct in those situations. Ignite the fire, step back and watch it burn. The fire flashed in his imagination, crawling up the walls of the school building, listening to the cries from within and watching as people came racing out to get free from his beautiful flames. Things end so quickly there, it was until he’d gotten home that he was finally able to enjoy his work. The house he had lived in had burned a lot faster than the school had. Before anyone had been able to realize it was on fire, it was almost completely engulfed in flames. Darin sighed at the memory. It had been a happy memory for him. Watching as the memories were burned to the ground. The only problem… He could still remember everything that had happened in that house. His parents, his sisters and even the neighbors’ faces blasted his mind’s eye. Darin suddenly felt sick, he hated remembering his sisters. They had been so good to him, and now look where he sat. They never came to visit him, they truly didn’t care. He felt angry with them for not showing any interest in his progress in the asylum. His parents wouldn’t come, they feared their son, and his sisters wouldn’t show for their own reasons. He truly was alone.

Listening quietly to Quin’s explanation of what to do, he smiled slightly. He could at least be of use in this situation. Moving towards the pot placed Darin right next to Quin, being in close proximity of the boy, Darin felt at ease, he didn’t want to break things and he didn’t want to burn anything. Just listen quietly and respond with a few head nods and possibly something from his past, if he was asked any questions. Darin’s gray blue eyes stared at the water in the pot, finally they dropped to the fire beneath it. It was at that instant that Quin asked another question. "Have you ever burnt yourself? Like, you said you can stare at it for hours but have you ever just .. tried touching it or been the one to run your finger over the flame of a lighter?" Darin thought about all of the times he’d spent in front of a fire, he could remember all of the times his parents had shouted at him and told him not to close. Stay back or you’ll burn yourself. With Darin’s curious nature it was always hard to keep the boy away from fire. Of course he’d tried to touch it. When he was younger, he’d always tried to manipulate the fire, move it around with sticks, make it do something interesting. It was until his high school years that he actually tried running his fingers through the beautiful flames. But could he tell Quin that? Why did he want to know anyway? The idea that someone actually wanted to know whether or not he’d burnt himself was strange. Had he actually burnt himself, wouldn’t it be weird that he had an obsession with it? Most people don’t love something that hurts them. They try to stay as far away as possible.

Once again, Darin was standing there in silence, he smiled a little at Quin’s next comment. Darin wasn’t the special one; Quin was, that’s why he’d said it. He’d never been called special. People had called him almost every name in the book. Special was the only one he hadn’t been called. Finally deciding that Quin meant no harm with the question, he answered it. ”In my sophomore year.. I can remember sitting in the Chemistry lab with a lighter in my hand.” He paused for a few moments; the image of him sitting in the room appeared before his eye. ”The teacher had given us lighters so that we could light our Bunsen Burners. The other kids were too stupid to know how to use them. As a cruel joke I ran my fingers through the flames and told them it didn’t hurt. To me.. There was no pain. Only the sensation of fire against my cool skin. The other kids thought it would be fun to play with the lighter like I had.” Darin gave Quin an odd look. Even after a couple of years, Darin couldn’t quite figure out if he felt guilty for what happened to them, when he spoke his voice was soft. ”They were rushed to the hospital with multiple third degree burns. The teachers assumed I had done it.”

He turned his attention back to look at the water that was going to be making the jell-o, it had finally started to boil. Taking the packets of jell-o mix that Quin had indicated, Darin did as he was told. Opening the boxes, and tearing open the packages, Darin dumped the mix into the pot. He watched as the little powder crystals swirled around inside of the pan, sighing softly he gave a confused look. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Didn’t he have to stir it? Blinking in confusion, Darin chose not to do anything. If he stirred it when he wasn’t supposed to, Quin would probably look at him like he was an idiot. And if he didn’t stir it was he was supposed, the same would probably happen. Either way he’d look like an idiot. Standing there, Darin couldn’t fight his urge to gaze at Quincy. His eyes searched over the boys face, and finally dropped to the ground. He was staring. He hated when people stared at him, yet now he was doing the same thing. Looking at the jell-o pot once more, Darin still looked a little lost. He felt strangely out of place, and for the first time in months, he felt saner than he used to. Every person in the asylum had called him nuts, crazy and insane. After awhile he had started to believe them all. But not now. Quincy hadn’t called him any of those words. He’d made him feel the most human and he’d done it in under an hour. The thought brought a smile to Darin’s face. Not many people could make him feel useful. Tearing his gaze away from the water in the pot, Darin looked around the kitchen again in an attempt to distract his thoughts. No matter what he did, they continued to wander back to thoughts of Quin.

"If I didn't leave you and we grew to know each other more .. where would we end up being? Would we be friends or maybe .. something more? Something more than friends?” Darin blinked, confusion flooding his brain. Quin thought of him like that? More thoughts of Quin entered Darin’s brain. What would they be if he stuck around? What could they be if Quin stuck around? Darin’s eyes dropped to the flames beneath the jell-o. He smiled a little. Turning his gaze to Quin’s face, he looked over his face, curious of what other thoughts had gone through Quin’s brain since they’d started talking. He had an idea of what he’d like for them, but was it possible in this place? Would Quin really want to come back to this place just to see Darin? Would Quin risk his own life just to see him? The smile fell from his lips. He wasn’t sure how to respond to the question. He knew what he wanted, but he couldn’t voice it. Searching his brain for something that made sense, Darin grumbled softly. It wasn’t every day that fate tossed someone in your lap and expected you to figure it out on your own. Taking a deep breath, Darin finally spoke. ”I like the idea of something more…” His voice was soft and barely audible. ”Something beautiful..” He mused quietly over the words, his eyes still gazing into Quin’s. He wanted to know everything about Quin. His likes, dislikes, secrets, passions, all of it. It didn’t matter how small or how trivial it seemed. Darin wanted to know. He wanted to have something in his life that he could love just as much as the eternal flame inside of him. The one that no one else seemed to see.

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Quincy didn't truly know what to say in reply to Darin's face. He hated how his emotion fell in the sentence like a freshly popped balloon string. He half smiled at the thought but then let it full fade when he continued to listen to Darin speak. "They were rushed to the hospital with multiple third degree burns. The teachers assumed I had done it." Quincy slowly shook his head like the teachers were the enemies. They could have at least heard the boy out before jumping the gun. Kids were always ignorant enough to fall for the line that it didn't hurt. Of course, in high school, Quincy would have tried to too but not to the degree of third degree burns. Maybe just a few blisters but no true burns. Looking around like a lost child, he took a breath and said what was on his mind. The statement of him and Darin possibly being more than friends. He was slightly trembling as he awaited for the only thing he wanted to hear. It was impossible for Quincy Bates to feel comfortable with his sexuality. Since he was fourteen, he never found any reason to agree with who he was but .. he was fine with the idea after a few years of knowing what he truly was. His mind trailed to the night he held his first lover's hand. Squeezing it as if the world was about to end in that one instant of a moment. His lips twitched as he struggled to find the right words. Telling his beloved parents who worked their entire life to give him a decent life that their only son, first born and last offspring that he was in fact homosexual. The pain of knowing that his father was the reason behind the sexual preference, was the same one to slap him down to the ground until his tears were the only thing to come from Quincy. Watching his lover leave the house with the most sympathetic look on his face. Quincy hated that memory. That same lover was the same one to leave him first. Letting him feel that lonely feeling that Quincy knew Darin felt every single day.

"I like the idea of something more…"

Quin almost missed the words. Pulling himself back into the reality of the situation and realization of what he asked .. he said exactly what he wanted to hear. Quincy wanted to explain himself for no true reason but once his mouth prepared to open, it slammed back shut. He didn't need to say much. But, like Quincy, he had to. Taking his free hand, Quin grabbed to Darin's and looked him into the soul of his eyes. "I know how it feels to be alone, lonely, desperate for someone to listen and actually give a fuck. I don't want to jump up and marry you but .. I want to be there when you need it. Even if you don't want me to, I'll be there. I want to be there, I want to be with you whenever you need me to be. Friends, then something more until we're as far as we can get. " Quin's voice feel into a soft laugh but still holding on with a firm seriousness and sincerity in his eyes. Quincy didn't know why there was this invisible sticky spiderweb forming between the two but he liked being intertwined with Darin.

Staring at the boy before him, Quin couldn't resist the oncoming smile. He was in a perfect situation at the most imperfect place. Darin was that special present hidden in the cupcake like a wedding ring. This was fate in a place where fate was only a word of the imagination. He wasn't too sure of what would happen between the two but he knew that he liked wherever it was going form here. Taking a deep breath, he let go of Darin's hand with a faint smile printed across his slightly pink lips. "The jell-o!"

Taking the pot, Quin poured the hot liquid into the pan. Watching the steam float up and steam across the metal light that hung only inches above him. Slightly smiling, he took the pot and dropped it into the large silver metal sink. He twisted to the nozzles to cool down the boiling hot pot. Pacing the floor back towards the stove, his eyes couldn't stay away from what seemed to be the center of the kitchen: Darin. Turning the eye on the stove completely off, Quincy felt the urge to compliment Darin on not letting the place burn into a crumbling crisp with him making probably some fantastic jell-o. "That jell-o will be great." A horrible joke but his voice was just a little above a whisper. "This point in my life is called possibilities." The full smile couldn't stay away as he dropped his head in a shy reaction. This was a possibility.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

His words continued bouncing around in his head. Had he really just stated he like the idea of something more? Couldn’t he just say ‘I want to date you’? That would have been the more direct approach. But no, of course not. Darin had to be weird about it. He had to be somewhat difficult just to complicate the situation. His gaze drifted to the side for a few seconds. He didn’t feel stupid for it though. At least he’d said something. He could have easily left Quin standing there wondering what could have been. At least now he had a general idea that something would be, not could be. Slowly his gray blue eyes began to lift until they met Quin’s. A thin smile had formed on his pale face and for a brief moment, Darin thought of how things would be in the future. Just how far things would be allowed to continue? Would they have to keep quiet? If they did, just how long would they have to be quiet about it? Darin didn’t like the idea of hiding any of it. But for Quin’s benefit, he’d keep silent if he was asked to.

As the thoughts in his head began to fall silent, Darin felt the soft skin of Quin’s hand against his. He blinked for a couple of seconds, instantly thinking he’d done something wrong and spaced out again, and all Quin was trying to do was get his attention. But that didn’t seem to be the case here. It seemed like Quin had something to say. Looking back into his eyes with interest slowly filling them, he listened quietly. "I know how it feels to be alone, lonely, desperate for someone to listen and actually give a fuck. I don't want to jump up and marry you but .. I want to be there when you need it. Even if you don't want me to, I'll be there. I want to be there, I want to be with you whenever you need me to be. Friends, then something more until we're as far as we can get.” Darin allowed the words to swirl around in his head. For once in Darin’s shitty life, someone was actually taking an interest in him. He knew Quin had liked him, but to here it again made Darin smile widely. He was happy and at the same time confused, and even a little afraid. Afraid that Quin would be taken away when Darin needed him, afraid that Quin might just up and leave him for dead in the asylum for reasons that would come in the future, and afraid that he might actually have the chance at love he’d always wanted. Would it all be worth Quin’s safety in the asylum? The questions from before flooded back. His throat felt dry, and once again Darin felt vulnerable. What would happen if Quin was forced to leave because a relationship had started to form between the two? Darin felt as his brain began getting ahead of the situation. They still had to get to know each other. That wasn’t a sin. They wouldn’t send Quin home for being friendly and getting to know a patient. They could however, send him home for the current situation. Darin looked down at their entangled hands, a smile spilling over his lips. It felt nice to be close to someone, if only for an instant.

Suddenly Darin was ripped from his brief moment of happiness by the reminder of the jell-o. When their hands slipped apart, Darin turned his attention away, not allowing Quin to see the small hint of sadness in his eyes. He didn’t want the moment to end, yet he knew it had to. Everything always came to a screaming halt in his life. It didn’t really matter what was going on. Everything had to end sometime. Watching Quincy out of the corner of his eye, Darin continued to follow the boy’s movements, watching him closely. When Quin stated the jell-o would be great, Darin couldn’t fight the smile that was forming. So he’d done something right for once. Maybe this was the end of what seemed like his all time losing streak. Maybe things would change for him. This was his chance in life to make things right, for all of the bad he’d done.

Finally tearing his eyes away from Quin, Darin looked around in search of the clock. Spotting it on the opposite wall, half hidden behind a bunch of shit. He sighed softly. ”I should get going… They’ll be looking for me soon.” Darin’s eyes fell to stare into the floor. He didn’t want to go, yet he knew he should. Being around Quincy was comforting, he didn’t feel angry, he wasn’t annoyed. He felt comfortable and calm. Darin remembered brief moments from movies, even though he hated romance movies with a passion, he had seen a bunch of them. Not by choice either. He could picture moments like this in a movie. He felt like he was a person on the outside, catching a glimpse of something forming. Something beautiful as he had said before. This is what he’d always wanted, the only problem… He still could shake the idea that it all might end at some point in time.

[quincy alexander bates]

YOU'LL NEED A MIRACLE
there's no way we're gonna give up

---

Quincy sighed softly as he tapped lightly on the counter. There was nothing else that begged for his attention at the moment. Maybe Darin but he couldn't throw himself at him like a crazed fan girl at some boy band concert. It was physically impossible for him to keep his eyes off the patient. Smiling softly, he silently stalked him with his eyes. Watching his every move without truly looking some kind of crazy himself. A faint smile cursed his lips. There was something that made him feel so .. affectionate. Quincy wasn't truly the love kind of guy but .. he loved the small love scenes of sappy romance movies. His favorite had to be from The Notebook when she demanded for him to explain himself and his reasons for not writing her. Only minutes later they were engaged with one another in a serpents dance that could only man and woman could reflect. Quincy wished he could do that damned dance but what he was perfectly fine with the turtles dance. Quincy quietly laughed at the poor image of two turtles enjoying one another in his mind.

Quincy was sucker punched back into reality when he heard Darin's harsh words pierce his words like a burning spear. I should get going… They’ll be looking for me soon. Sighing softly, Quincy didn't want this awkward but joyous moment to end. Things were getting good. They were growing onto one another. It was visible in both interested parties. Another uneasy sigh slipped through his slightly pinkish lips. an uneasy smile followed. His mind fought between fighting for him to stay just a little longer or letting him leave as he knew he would and, of course, should do. There were so many consequences to pay like a volunteer possibly falling for a patient and a possible patient-volunteer relationship that could end so abruptly like Quincy actually finding a great college to accept him and him having to move away so he could get a decent education. He knew he would never up and leave but .. deep down he knew what his intentions were while he was here.

Pulling the thought away, this wasn't about the truth of him. It was bottled up inside a secret cage that was located inside the dark abyss of a dungeon that only lit up when the magical words that only his heart knew. There was more to get inside but Quincy's mind began to pound as he over thought the situation. he wasn't leaving forever, Quincy was going to return and not to forget, the day wasn't over. Opening his mouth to say sure or alright, he choked. Still undecided of how to end this so roughly, Quin sighed once more. "I wish you didn't have to go." He didn't know exactly how low or loudly he said it, but he knew that he was being honest. He didn't want to let go of this moment with Darin. But .. this asylum was a prison for the insane. They had no say in what they wanted. Neither did Quin. Wrapping his arms around Darin quickly, he let go as fast as he hugged him.

"I'll be around. I'll see you around too. I mean, I'll," His words weren't making an sense to him as they came falling out like huge clots of sentences and nonsense wrapped into English translation. Inhaling the air once more, he created a smooth smile against his pale face. "I don't plan on leaving any time soon. You have me as long as you want me. I promise. I'll make sure we see each other around even if I have to burn up a few wings to make it happen." Quin's humoring voice made it obvious that he was serious to an obvious extent. Placing his hand on Darin's cheek, he placed a soft kiss on the other. "I'm seriously interested in knowing more about you Darin Anders. Now we don't need you locked away in some solitary cell because of me. I'll make sure I'll see you again before the day's over." Quin was pleased with his choice of words as he watched Darin's face. Quincy was honestly in-love with the face before him and begged himself to soon fall in-love with the boy behind it. Sighing for the last time, he didn't want to let go of the boy's face. He planned on doing such until he couldn't anymore.

[darin michael anders]

SOMETHING TELLS ME
this might get interesting…

---

Glancing around the kitchen for what seemed like the hundredth time, Darin sighed softly. He had managed to memorize the inside of the kitchen. At least what it looked like. He still didn’t know where anything was, but like that mattered. He wasn’t even supposed to be in there, let alone know where everything was. Turning his attention back to Quincy, Darin gave a faint smile when Quin said he wished that Darin didn’t have to go. That made two of them. For obvious reasons, Darin had to go. It was better to leave before someone noticed he was gone. Rather than wait around until they came to get him. Feeling Quin’s arms around him in what seemed like the fastest hug Darin had ever been apart of, Darin smiled widely. Although the hug had been quick, the feel of Quin’s embrace was now etched into Darin’s brain. Never would he forget that moment. Small and seemingly meaningless to someone on the outside. It meant more to Darin than he knew words to explain it.

Darin allowed a soft laugh to pass through his lips when Quincy’s first sentence after the hug seemed to be a jumbled bunch of words that made no coherent sense. He tilted his head to the side and looked at Quin for a few brief moments, waiting for him to finish what he was saying. "I don't plan on leaving any time soon. You have me as long as you want me. I promise. I'll make sure we see each other around even if I have to burn up a few wings to make it happen." Quincy’s words rang out in Darin’s ears. He had him as long as he wanted him? Darin mused over the thought. It sounded almost too good to be true. One of those perfect moments in those cheesy romance movies. Everything would be perfect. At least that’s what everyone said, but things never turned out that way. Nothing ever seemed perfect. Feeling the soft touch of Quin’s hand on his cheek, Darin couldn’t resist leaning into it. Maybe things would work out for him. All he could do was hope for the best and try his damnedest to keep things right where he wanted them. He blinked at the kiss, resisting the blushing urge. He couldn’t blush, not here. Not now.

Listening to Quin’s next set of words, Darin nodded slowly. This meant he’d have to stay out of trouble, not only for his sake, but so he could see Quincy again. What’s the point of making friends with someone, only to be locked away because of a stupid decision? Darin thought about it for a minute. For once in his life, he actually had a reason to behave. The idea itself seemed absurd. It was unlike him to do anything for anyone else. Yet here he was agreeing to stay out of trouble just for the chance to see Quin again. He thought about how their next meeting might go. Would there still be the same sense of awkwardness? Would they be more relaxed? Would he have more to say, more to ask? Questions overloaded his brain and caused him to look away for a few seconds. ”I’ll stay out of trouble then…” Darin gave a faint smile. He meant what he said. If staying out of trouble would result in him having the chance for happiness, then he’d do it, without questions.

Turning away from Quin, Darin suddenly felt alone again. Like he was walking away from the only person that had any kind of idea how he felt. The pain of being alone. Sighing softly, he turned back to look at Quincy. ”Until we meet again.” He smiled and walked out of the kitchen door. Walking into the dining hall, Darin’s mind continued to muse over the idea of them meeting again. Once more the questions invaded his thoughts. He wondered what they would talk about, what they would do, what they could do. Where would they end up meeting? Would it be accident, or on purpose? Would he just walk out of his room and stumble across Quincy like he had done in the kitchen. Darin looked back at the kitchen door and thought quietly. He thanked his random urge to walk into a restricted zone, had he stayed out with the other patients, he most likely would have gone even more insane. At least meeting Quin, Darin felt a little more human. Like he wasn’t just some freak trapped in a strange version of hell. He was a real person, with real feelings and the chance to have a real relationship. It didn’t matter how it ended, as long as he had someone like Quin to talk to.