The Ministry is working harder and harder each day to find out who is a part of this new dark wizard society, Morte Incarnate. The students that have been kidnapped are being put through hell on a daily basis so that the Incarnate can make money. Meanwhile, things at Hogwarts are more tense than ever before...stay together? This is going to be a losing battle, or so it seems.
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THERE YOU'LL BE;, SUBPLOT 005
| candie_.} |
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Advanced Member
Group: Admin
Posts: 46
Member No.: 7
Joined: 21-August 07
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WHEN MY TIME COMES, FORGET THE WRONG THAT I'VE DONE.
HELP ME LEAVE BEHIND SOME REASONS TO BE MISSED.
meet the players
[»] ____ finch-fletchley [seventh, eighteen, hufflepuff ]
[»] ______ mclaggen [ seventh, seventeen, gryffindor ]
[»] alastor shacklebolt [ seventh, seventeen, gryffindor ]
Alastor was one of the greatest guys ______ Finch-Fletchley had ever met. He was the son of the minister, but somehow, he’d never had an overly large ego. He was confident, but he wasn’t cocky, and he was friendly. He was always welcoming people into his group of friends and starting conversations, introducing himself and trying his best to make others feel as comfortable as he could. He wasn’t a genius, but he was pretty smart, although he openly admitted to being lazy when it came to his school work. He did it eventually, of course, but Al was the type of guy who preferred to go out and organize a gigantic quidditch game rather than write a foot long essay on the different types of potions ingredients and how a bezoar stone could affect a precisely brewed potion. This wasn’t to say that he fit the common stereotype of a mindless, popular sports obsessed idiot. Al was an exception to the stereotype.
When ______ Finch-Fletchley met Alastor, she could tell they’d make a good couple. Both teenagers were popular, sweet, genuine. Everyone loved the two of them. So, naturally, when they got together, everyone loved it. They were cute together, and Al treated her like a princess -- neither of them could ever be seen looking anywhere but the other. Together, they easily rivaled the romantic quality of Teddy and Victoire. There was fun, there was adoration and honesty and love. There wasn’t exactly loads of passion, but it didn’t make them love each other any less. If you had at least half of a heart, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate them together. Even some of the less ruthless Slytherins found themselves secretly envying the couple. Their love was something pure, something whole and just. It was a beacon of light in the approaching darkness. People were scared by the kidnappings, but you could always look to the constants of your life for reassurance. Alastor and _____ were certainly a constant, always together, always happy.
Well, at least, that was the way it seemed. But Alastor knew better. He knew it was only a matter of time before Finch-Fletchley found the truth out. He was on thin ice, and it was inevitable that the ice cracked and he fell under. He didn’t want her to remember him that way. The truth was, he loved Finch-Fletchley, really, he did. But he’d made his fair share of mistakes, and he was still making them. She didn’t deserve that. She was too good for all of that, but he didn’t want things to end badly. If there was anything he wished, it was for her not to hate him. So he ended things before she found out about his infidelities. They would break up, avoid each other, things would be awkward, but he’d make things okay, and she would remember him as a good guy, as a person she had loved. He loved her, but he knew she didn’t deserve all of this, so he would let her go…he just couldn’t tell her the truth. Her hatred would kill him, so he just…couldn’t.
SCENE ONE.Looking up at her boyfriend with tear-filled eyes, _____ Finch-Fletchley took a deep, shuddering breath. “Al, what are you trying to say to me?” Her voice was small and quiet, broken and already knowing the answer. He looked away from her, shutting his eyes in anger at himself before he looked back down at her -- it was only now, now that he was leaving her, that he realized how very tiny she was. Especially in this moment, hunched over slightly and wiping at the tears she feared were falling from her eyes. Finch-Fletchley was a strong girl. She was determined and optimistic and hard-working. She didn’t cry very much, and she hated crying. But she couldn’t help herself, not now. She loved him, and out of nowhere, he didn’t seem to love her back. At least, not enough to stay with her, anyways. She didn’t like feeling like this, hurt and lost. She was strong, not the type of girl to break down.
“I’m saying…” He trailed off as he looked into her eyes. How could he have done this? This was all his fault. Single-handedly, he had ruined the best thing he had going for him. It was a stupid idea -- she was going to hate him anyway, and she had every right…but he just couldn’t bring himself to tell her what he’d done. “I mean…I’m saying that, maybe we should….take a break, _____.” Her response was a choked, strangled little noise, and he bit down hard on his bottom lip. “…I love you, Al.” He sucked in a quick, shallow breath, nodding. “It’s not that I don’t love you, ______. I do,…I really, really do. But…” He was an idiot. If he had just kept his dick in his pants in the first place, he wouldn’t have been forced to think up the stupid idea, she wouldn’t be crying now, they’d still be happy, maybe he wouldn’t be such a fucking moron. “…sometimes, it might not be enough, you know?”
No, she didn’t know. She didn’t understand and she didn’t know why he was ruining such a good thing. They were great together, why did he need to do this? ______ shook her head, protesting. “It is enough, Al. It is. It has to be.” She stared up at him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and sniffling. It just had to be. She was a strong girl, but there was a war outside, and she was scared. He made her feel safe, like there was some sort of hope, and now…without him, she wasn’t sure she could be as strong. No, no, she knew she couldn’t be as strong as she was if he wasn’t by her side. It was Alastor who made her who she was. The reassuring smile on her face and the calming advice she gave to her friends -- she could only give it out because she had Alastor, and she could believe herself when she said things would be okay, because as long as he was there, they had to be. But if he wasn’t there…
“It isn’t, _____. I’m sorry.” END SCENE.
Everyone was shocked, to say the least. Alastor and Finch-Fletchley had always been together, and they hadn’t been aware of any problems in their relationship. So the end of them being together threw everyone for a loop, and people found themselves unable to contain the questions. What had happened? Had she cheated? Had he cheated? Did he get bored with her eventually? Was she fucking his best friend? Alastor was always first to shut anyone up when he heard them whispering, claiming that they would still be friends, that in the end, things just hadn’t worked out. When _____ caught them talking, she never said anything. She would just look blankly at them and walk away -- the moment she turned the corner and they couldn’t see her she was running as fast as she could, crying and blindly wandering the halls.
He tried, a week after they broke up, to talk to her in a friendly manner. His words were simple, just a greeting. A quiet, uncertain, ‘…how’ve you been?’ sent her into tears. Not open sobbing, though. She just turned her head to look at him, and he could see them brimming, her eyes glassy and her nose already turned slightly red. Sniffling lightly, she had picked up the few things she’d brought to her table. Shaking her head at him, she had proceeded to walk away. Things would never be the same between them, not ever. She might forgive him in due time, but now -- he had ripped her in two. ______ had loved him. Truly, completely loved him, and even though he had claimed to love her back, he had ended things between them. She’d never been hurt by simple words before, but just a few sentences from him and her entire world had fallen apart.
That day was the last time she ever saw his face. The next morning, it was chaos. People were running about, the professors all looked like they hadn’t slept in years, and everyone kept apologizing to her for some strange reason. ‘Oh, wow, I’m so sorry…you must be absolutely heartbroken, babe.’ She remembers looking at the unfamiliar girl like she was an alien. It was only when she took her normal seat in the great hall, next to her closest friends, that she knew something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Ellie Weasley gave her a heartbroken look, and upon asking, Ellie quietly explained that Alastor had gone missing early last night. He’d been kidnapped, they suspected, by the same people who had taken some of the other students. That’s what everyone was saying. It’s what everyone believed, anyway. At first, Ellie’s words hadn’t registered. It must have been a mistake, all of it.
As the day passed, she understood that it wasn’t. She kept expecting to see him walk into on of their many joint classes, but it never happened. He had disappeared. It was after dinner, after an entire day without him that it finally sank in. She excused herself from her friends in such a whisper that they almost hadn’t heard her, and she had silently walked out of the hall, too heartbroken to care about the whispers that followed her. Her life became hell. She attended her classes -- she still had to at least pretend she was okay, right? -- but the moment the bell rang, she was back in her dormitory. Her friends barely existed anymore. She honestly didn’t mean to ignore them, but ____ couldn’t help it. She just didn’t want to have fun anymore. Even if she tried, she couldn’t. Everything she had once found to be fun now only reminded her of him.
If things had been bad then, his death had all but killed her. They hadn’t let her see the body, claiming that he didn’t even look like himself, not after what they had done to him. She just remembered reading the front page article of the daily prophet after she found out, her hand over her mouth to stifle her own sobs as she saw his name over and over again, her heart shattering with each use of the word ‘was’. Alastor Shackle bolt was seventeen. He was a proud member of the Gryffindor quidditch team. He was the minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt’s only son. He was dead. The article told her that she wasn’t alone, that numerous others had also gone missing, but she was too busy listening to her heart stop beating to care.
SCENE TWO.“…_____….” Finch-Fletchley’s head snapped up upon hearing her name. She was just sitting on the couch in the Hufflepuff common room, attempting to finish some last minute homework. Upon recognizing Ellie’s familiar features, she looked back down at her parchment, her voice indifferent. “Ellie.” It was her emotionless greeting -- the girl should be glad she’d gotten even that. It was rare that Finch-Fletchley even bothered to say hello anymore. They all knew she was hurting, but…shutting them out wasn’t going to help, was it? Ellie didn’t think so. It was now that she needed her friends the most. It wasn’t the time to push them away. All around the school people were banding together, and here ____ was, shoving all her friend’s attempts at help out. She had to make Finch-Fletchley understand that they were here for her, that she needed them and she was allowed to do so.
Sighing, she sat down next to her. “_____, you can’t keep doing this.” Her voice was soft and she tried to convey her sympathy, her understanding, but she wasn’t sure if it had worked. ______ stiffened and continued scratching away at her parchment. She didn’t have to take this from her. From anyone. ______ was aware that two of Ellie’s cousins had also gone missing, but that didn’t suddenly mean she understood how she was feeling. Ellie came from a big family. She had other people to lean on, she still had some hope. Alastor had been the only person to make her feel safe, and now that he was gone -- dead -- she had no hope. Ellie didn’t understand that. Biting her lip and staring at the parchment, she continued writing, glancing at the Weasley girl through her peripheral vision. “I dunno what you’re talking about, Elle.”
Ellie frowned from her seat and huffed slightly. “You can’t keep pushing us all away.” Fed up, _____ shut her book, rolling up her parchment and tucking her quill into her bag. Throwing the knapsack over her shoulder, she stood up and made for the portal door, her voice colder than it had ever been. “Watch me.” Ellie didn’t know a damn thing, she thought angrily. None of them did. They could sympathize all they wanted, but in the end they just didn’t get any of it. Storming out of the room, caught up in her own anger, she missed the hurt look on her friend’s face, and once again, she didn’t pay any attention to the ever-present whispers, the fact that she was now a constant subject among gossiping teenagers. She just wanted to get away, be by herself in silence…so long as she was just left alone. She couldn’t deal with any of it, life, her friends. She just couldn’t.
END SCENE.
_______ Mclaggen had grown up by Alastor’s side. The two boys were always together, always laughing. Mclaggen wasn’t as popular as Alastor -- he was actually a bit of an outcast, in all truth. He wasn’t as social as his best friend, and his people skills lacked a bit. Alastor was always singing his praises, talking about how great he was, but people never really understood why there were such good friends. They could be so very different at times. So yes, people always wondered about their friendship, but they rarely did so out loud. Anyone who brought it up to Alastor earned a nasty comment and a bit of time on the minister’s son’s bad side. As far as Al was concerned, his friendship with Mclaggen was none of their business. They didn’t have to understand, they just had to shut their damn mouths and accept it. Simple as that, really. Nothing more to it.
Mclaggen wasn’t the model type of guy like his best friend was. He screwed up frequently, and he knew that. He was alright with that. Still, Al was always by his side, and for that, Mclaggen made himself a promise that their friendship was something he would never screw up. He’d ruined everything else, but he would never, ever betray Alastor. He’d always thought of things that way, until Finch-Fletchley came along. When Al began dating her, Mclaggen was happy for his best friend. He loved her, he could tell, and even though he was spending a little ( a lot ) less time with his best friend, he understood. He was okay with it, because Al obviously loved her, and if he was happy, then Mclaggen wasn’t going to complain. But when Al confessed to him that he’d been cheating on Finch-Fletchley, Mclaggen was thrown for a loop. It was so….not Alastor.
After he learned of Alastor’s secret, Mclaggen avoided being around Finch-Fletchley at all. His conversations with her were clipped and short, almost to the point of being rude. Secretly, he hated what his best friend was doing to the girl, but he still felt like it wasn’t his place to say anything, and Al was still his best friend…he wasn’t sure if he could betray him that way. It wasn’t like Alastor was a horrible guy, or anything like that, he was just being an idiot. Mclaggen wasn’t exactly Prince Charming, but cheating on a girl…continually, that just didn’t sit right with him. And he told that straight to Al’s face. They were never the type of friends to keep things from each other. Alastor had nodded, agreeing with him, but he’d yet to stop doing it. When Alastor actually broke up with the girl, Mclaggen voiced his disapproval, but he didn’t say a word to Finch-Fletchley. Alastor was his best friend, he couldn’t do that no matter how horrible he thought the situation was.
Alastor’s death had hurt Mclaggen just as much as it had hurt Finch-Fletchley, if not more. His pain, however, wasn’t as publicized, seeing as how the half of the school population either didn’t know him, or was too busy still denying that they had even been friends. Alastor had been there for nearly all of his life; he’d laughed with him, he’d cried with him even though both boys would have denied that, and he had just always been there. He wanted to hate him for leaving, but he couldn’t. He wanted to hate him for leaving and forcing _____ to keep that secret from his ex-girlfriend, but he couldn’t. Alastor was still his best friend. So whenever Mclaggen ran into Finch-Fletchley, he cut the conversation short and would walk away. She’d already figured by now that he hated her for some mysterious reason, and to be honest, she had never liked him very much either.
SCENE THREE.She hurried down the hall, books in hand and a blank gaze on her face. She had class in five minutes, and as much as she wanted to stay in her dormitory and cry for a few more hours, she had to go. If she didn’t, Ellie would start to bug her again, and Finch-Fletchley couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t try to strangle the life out of the girl, even if she meant well. _____ didn’t’ give a damn. She wasn’t helping anything. There was nothing to be helped. Nodding to herself and staring out at the floor beneath her racing feet, she collided with a hard chest and cursed her own obliviousness from her sprawled position on the floor. Looking up in an angry huff, she recognized her ex-boyfriend’s best friend. ______ Mclaggen had never been nice, not to her at least. Then again, it was rare that he ever spoke with her for over five minutes, but still. Not that she cared. The bastard could do whatever he wanted.
He didn’t like her, but she at least expected an apology, or an extended hand to help her up. “Watch where you’re going,” he voiced, already grabbing his bag again and making to walk around her. Sputtering indignantly on the floor, she glared at him. “Asshole.” He paused, looking down at her with dark eyes. “Excuse me?” Finch-Fletchley began gathering her scattered things, textbooks thrown open in the hallway -- his big, clumsy feet had snapped one of her quills, she noted angrily. Huffing to herself, she tossed them all back in her knapsack and stood up, brushing herself off with such a superiority that one might think he was a servant. Honestly, Mclaggen had nothing against her. She could be annoying sometimes, but he had always been too busy avoiding her to pay attention to that. Normally she left when he got nasty with her, so he figured it was the easiest way to get her to leave before he stood up and started screaming about his cheating best friend.
“I never understood why he was friends with you.” His nostrils flared in real, true anger, and he cocked an eyebrow. Finch-Fletchley continued, obviously unaware that she was treading on highly dangerous ground. “I mean…” -- he was too busy trying to get his haunches to go down to notice the quiet, broken tone to her voice -- “…he was always so nice, and kind, and friendly…” -- if he had noticed, though, he would’ve seen the broken quality leave after her first statement, and her tone become scathing -- “and you were always so…beneath him. I just never understood it.” Mclaggen fumed, the hand holding his knapsack going slightly limp before tensing up. Stepping closer to her, he snarled. “You don’t know a damn thing about me, alright? Don’t assume you know anything -- you couldn’t even tell when your own boyfrie --” He stopped short, eyes widening at what he was about to let loose. Biting down on his lip and shoving down his anger, Mclaggen shrugged. “You don’t have to understand it. It is what it is.”
And he left her standing in the hallway, caught between anger, confusion, and a slight sense of dread. END SCENE.
He’d almost told her everything, just because she had said something stupid. Mclaggen wanted to shoot himself in between the eyes. How fucking stupid could he be? A little voice far off in his head told him that she deserved to know, but still, he ignored it. He couldn’t do that, especially not now, after Alastor had died. What kind of a friend would do that, right? He’d been so out of line that day, and he wanted…he kind of wanted to apologize for being so cold to her -- and for the things he couldn’t tell her, but that would ruin everything. Mclaggen couldn’t trust himself around her without worrying that he’d tell her about his best friend’s lies. He didn’t know why it was so hard. It should’ve been easy. Alastor had been his best friend, plain and simple, and ______ was just a girl, nothing more. Friends came before that, and it would be wrong to betray Alastor that way, to tell his secrets. He didn’t want to admit to himself that when they had first begun dating, his jealousy had been more than missing his best friend. He didn’t want to admit that he wanted to hate Alastor for doing what he’d done, to her. He wasn’t ready to do that.
For a little while, she tried to pretend that she hadn’t heard him say anything. She shoved down her own curiosity, and she tried to burn the image of his widened, regretful eyes, his quick retreat. But the uncertainty and mystery of it all ate away at her. She had to know what he’d been going to say. ______ Finch-Fletchley was the type of girl who got what she wanted, with all her determination and fire. That fire might have died out after Alastor had left, but this still had to deal with her ex-boyfriend, and she needed to know what exactly she hadn’t known. When she approached him about it, however, he was evasive, cold. Mclaggen was insufferable, and Merlin help her, she hated him. Absolutely despised him. It made no sense, his friendship with Alastor, who had been the boy’s opposite. Complete opposite.
He could only keep it from her for so long, with her constant badgering and determined questioning. Eyebrows were raised by other students when they found Finch-Fletchley always following him around, when they found the two always fighting. For a while, Finch-Fletchley had avoided human contact all together, and now it was rare that they didn’t find her following him around. Eventually, she cornered him for the last time, and it all fell from his lips. He hated himself for telling, but he was sick and tired of all of it. The damn secret was eating away at him, and he’d watched her go crazy over it even though she didn’t know what it was, her heart breaking all over again right in his hands. ( He cared too much to watch it happen, but either way she was going to be hurt…at least if he told her the truth she would have some sort of closure. ) When he told her, he felt all his ties to Alastor slip away.
She let in sink in, and then, she proceeded to fall into his arms and cry her heart out, making Mclaggen feel like he should have told her earlier, like he should have done something different, but he didn’t regret ‘betraying’ his friend’s secrets. She had deserved to know, he understood that now. Alastor had fucked up, and had been a coward by not telling her everything, when she had deserved to know the truth. His best friend wasn’t a bad person, but it had been a mistake not to own up to his own shortcomings, and he wasn’t screwing over his best friend’s memory by telling his broken-hearted ex-girlfriend the truth. At least, Mclaggen didn’t think so. Not when she cried into his shirt about how she had been so stupid not to notice, how this had all been her fault. Alastor Shacklebolt would always be his best friend, even in death, but he had done wrong by her, and her heartbreak could have been lessened if he’d just been honest. Now that he was gone, it was his responsibility to be honest with the girl his best friend had loved.
SCENE FOUR. “He never loved me, did he?” Her voice was small, but he heard her, and his head shot up, slightly startled. Ever since he had told her the truth, the two had actually gotten along. In fact, they were really all the other had left. Finch-Fletchley and Mclaggen were always with each other, and although they avoided everyone else like the plague, they were free and calm around each other. It was when they were alone together that they could forget things and laugh with each other, smile like they both weren’t broken by the departure of Alastor. The more they did it, the quicker they began to fix each other, and before they knew it, they were still both missing him, and they were still both hurt, but they were slowly becoming whole again. Who would have thought that, in the end, it was Alastor’s lies and secrets that brought the two most important people in his life together? Mclaggen wouldn’t have guessed, but here he was.
“That’s not true, _____. He loved you, he told me so.” His voice was firm and unwavering, like he was telling her a fact that wasn’t open for argument, despite the knowledge that he knew she would argue it anyway. Just as he’d expected, she shook her head quickly. “No he didn’t…If he had…he wouldn’t have…” She trailed off, knowing he would understand what she meant and hoping he wouldn’t make her actually say it out loud. His hand fell against the armrest loudly, more so than he’d intended it to, and she jumped slightly. “Yes, he did. I don’t know why he decided to do what he did, and he was an idiot for it, but he loved you, _____. Trust me.” She trusted him -- it was impossible not to. He had told her his best friend’s darkest secret just because he had believed she deserved to know. There was no not trusting him…but she still didn’t think Alastor had loved her like he said. “Not enough to keep him from hurting me, though.” Her voice was even quieter now, and he winced inwardly.
“It was a mistake,” he tried. Anything to keep her from breaking down again. Although, if she was going to break down, here was as good a place as any. They were lounging on a small couch in the room of requirement, opting to get away from the general craziness of Hogwarts on a Saturday. Still, he was going to at least try to keep her from breaking down. ( He hated seeing her so broken, and he hated the way it tugged at his heart even more. ) Shifting his glance toward her, he sucked in a breath. The couch was small enough so that she was basically flush up against his side, and the arm closest to her was propped up on the back of the couch, giving the illusion that she was almost in his arms. “You mean mistakes, _____.” Her voice cracked slightly and she looked up at him with glazed eyes. “…three months straight of mistakes.”
He sighed, looking down at her and trying to ignore the way she leant toward him. “_______,” he began quietly, unsure of what to say. He swallowed. “…I’m sorry.” What else was there to say? It was the truth. Three months straight of mistakes. Looking back in front of them, he was caught off guard by the hand that pulled his face back to be aligned with hers. Their eyes connected for just a few moments, and he opened his mouth, the beginnings of her name on his lips before she crashed her lips on his, leaning all her weight against him. This was wrong -- this was Al’s ex-girlfriend, she was still in love with him and she was still hurting….but Merlin forgive him, he couldn’t bring himself to push her away. Instead, his arms snaked around her lower waist and he pulled her closer, reveling in the feeling of her kiss. END SCENE.
Mclaggen wondered if he’d always been in love with her, or if it had just been a shallow crush at first, and the time he’d recently spent with her had made him fall for her completely -- but either way, he’d fallen for her. He knew it when he spent hours wondering how Alastor would even dare risk losing someone like her, he knew it when his stomach went into a frenzy just upon hearing her voice. It was everything about her and the way she was, how she did things and who she was. He had two very big concerns about the whole thing, and surprisingly, none of them involved betraying his loyalty to Alastor. His best friend was just that -- his best friend…but he was gone. And he hadn’t loved _____ enough to be honest with her. If Al had really been his best friend all this time, he imagined that he’d be okay with this. Not necessarily thrilled, but he’d have accepted it. No, Mclaggen had already come to terms with loving his best friend’s ex…he wasn’t worried about that. He couldn’t choose who he’d fallen in love with him.
He was more worried about other things…like her not feeling the same way. Yes, she had kissed him…but what if he was just a rebound? Her boyfriend had broken up with her died soon after, and now his best friend was there all the time, being nice and honest with her…what if he was just a momentary comfort? He didn’t want to be her rebound guy, even though he wasn’t sure he’d have the will to stop her even if she tried to make him that guy. The other fear that kept bouncing around in his head was the possibility that he couldn’t love her as well as she deserved. She had said it herself that Alastor was always the better one in the friendship, and if Al couldn’t love her the way she deserved, who was to say that he could do any better? Who was to say that he wouldn’t hurt her even worse than Al had? He couldn’t ever picture a situation where he’d do it, but still.
______ had no idea what she was doing, crying over Alastor and kissing his best friend. Of course she was still in love with Al -- she had loved him for over a year, things like that didn’t just disappear, even if he had spent three of those month fucking nameless girls behind her back. Still, she had loved him. But Mclaggen, for all her doubts and initial dislike -- he was amazing. She’d always thought Alastor was too good to even associate with the other Gryffindor, but as she had gotten to know him more, she had realized that if anyone was the better among the two friends, it was him, not Alastor. He was loyal to the core, and she had known how hard it was for him to tell her about what Al had done. He was kind, and sweet in his own subtle, quiet way that no one ever noticed, and he wasn’t afraid of everything like she seemed to be. She had only ever remembered feeling safe with Alastor, and after he had died, she’d felt hopeless, but with ______, that safe feeling came back, full force, if not stronger. She trusted him and she felt safe with him, like the war wasn’t right outside their windows. She likes him ( maybe she’s even fallen in love with him ) but he’s Al’s best friend, and Merlin, that is so many types of wrong all on it’s own.
SCENE FIVE.“I can’t do this, _____.” His voice was shaking even as he said it, pushing her back by the shoulders. She frowned, her forehead creasing as she sent him a confused glance. “What, here? Don’t worry, no one, will see --” He shook his head, pushing her away again. “I can’t do this, here, anywhere, with you.” She’d known what he was getting at from the start, but honestly, she just didn’t want him to talk about it. “______, please…don’t start that again.” Finch-Fletchley knew there was something wrong with what she was doing, that he probably didn’t deserve this, but Merlin, she had been so numb before him, and he made her feel again -- she just wanted to feel something again. “No, no. I can’t do this, I won’t anymore.” She shut her eyes tightly, swallowing noisily and turning her head from him. “Why?” He sighed, sitting up and shifting away from her.
“You’re still in love with him.” Looking down at the floor, she bit her lip. Alastor hadn’t even been dead that long. “I’m sorry I don’t have a light switch for my feeling, ______. We were together for a year, of course I still --” He cut her off angrily, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’m not asking that of you, you know I’m not! I know you still love him and I don’t blame you -- but don’t you think it’s a little screwed up to latch onto his best friend for a quick fuck now that he’s gone?!” Even he winced as he said it, and he noticed the way her shoulders fell visibly, the loud intake of breath at his words. “You’re not just -- I care about you and I like you and --” She fell quiet again, her shoulders shaking with tears as he let out a growl of frustration, his head in his hands. “…he was a big part of my life, ____. I can’t just…let him go…I’m not…I’m not ready to.”
He rubbed at his eyes, grinding his teeth together and trying to hold it in, to no avail. “I’m not saying to let him go, ______! You love him still, I get it! He was my best friend -- don’t think I don’t miss him just as much -- Alastor has been there for me my entire life, and now he’s fucking gone, and it kills me….but I love you, ______. I love you, and I’m alive. Alastor will always be my best friend, and I miss him every second of the day, but he’s GONE. He’s gone, and I’m here, and I’m not going to compete with my dead best friend for a girl, no matter how I feel about you. It’s not right. You can’t use me just to forget about him. It doesn’t work that way.” Panting, he looked away from her. “…I, _____.” She spoke in a whisper, but he heard her and he shook his head again, standing up and grabbing his jacket. “No, I’m done. You can come find me if you ever decide to stop pining over the dead, _____.” He was gone before she could say anything else, not that she had the coherence of mind to anyway. Pulling her knees to her chest, she leant into the couch and sobbed. END SCENE.
Both teenagers still regret some of the things they’ve said to each other, and all they want is to apologize to each other, but neither of them can muster up the courage. Finch-Fletchley is still lost, confused, and hurt, and Mclaggen is still broken-hearted, as well as slightly hating himself for his own choice of words. It was Alastor that brought them together in the first place, and now it was Alastor who had torn them apart again -- but Mclaggen didn’t blame his best friend. He blamed himself. He shouldn’t have let thing go as far as they did, he probably never should have told her anything…and Finch-Fletchley is still too busy trying to make it through each day, still in love with her formerly cheating, now dead ex-boyfriend and falling for his best friend, all while juggling her seventh year at school and worrying about the war outside.
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