Armstrong, Donald

[Donald Armstrong]

Welcome to the New York Tribune, MR. DONNIE ARMSTRONG. Please be seated and we will begin the interview.


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Let's start with the basics

What is your full name? Donald Lee Armstrong
Do you prefer to go by a different name? Yeah...I only go by Donald legally, for all other reasons please call me Donnie, or Lee.
How old are you? 30, yeah I know, I'm old.
When is your birthday? October 22, 1979
What position are you applying for? Cartoonist.

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Let's get to know you

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Well, there's really not much to say. I'm just a white guy that makes a living off of doodles and sketches. I'm easy going and typically get along with everyone...unless you're a schmuk...who wants to be nice to a schmuk? I treat everyone as I would like to be treated. I'm kind, and have quite a sense of humor. My humor has been known to get me into trouble before, as some people just don't find it funny. Sure, I can be crass, but only when it helps motivate a joke, punch line or jab....but alomst always there are good intentions behind my devious and crooked smile. I'm very likeable, I don't try to alienate myself from anyone. I'll strike up a conversation with just about anyone, I'm outgoing like that. I'm only stand offish, and distant when I'm upset or angry with someone. Other than that, I'm always up for a good chat. I'm just the type of guy who wants to catch a game, and have a cold one with a good friend. I'm laid back, and very chill.

When I'm angry, you'll know. You'll see it in my eyes, like when I'm sad. You'll notice it in my cartoons as well. They will be slightly more graphic with a lot of meaning embedded with every groove of the sketch. If I'm really upset with a certain person, I've gone to as far as making fun of them in some weird way. It's a good way to ease my anger. Doodling has been something I've always done to take my mind off of things, or get even with people. I'm not the type of guy that will turn the other cheek either. This is New York, you have to be tough, otherwise you get walked all over on. Not to say that I'm a hardass, because I'm actually more of the opposite, but I know when and where to stand up for yourself.

I'm notorious for pretending to act like everything's all right when I'm sad. I'll live in denial about whatever is eating me up, until it festers up inside me enough, and I explode...usually causing a scene...not that I'm an emotional wreck...but when I'm sad I tend to keep to myself, and not talk to anyone. My work gets lazy...my cartoons arn't funny anymore...it goes on for a couple of weeks or so before I get over it, and then my work will start to improve....I'm not one to hold grudges...but I bottle things up inside, and it's obvious to everyone who knows me. In case it isn't apparent from my little lecture to you about who I am, and what I am...my work reflects my mood, and what I'm feeling, and fighting.

What are your strengths?

:: I'm funny dude...or so I'm told. I know how to make a crowd laugh. I have a great sense of humor.
:: I consider myself and decent artist. When I'm not making money, selling my doodles I bust out the canvas and start painting.
:: I'm a good friend, and always have been. I'm not the type that will hold something over your head out of spite. And you can always trust me, I won't fuck you over.
:: Apparently I'm outgoing. I'll strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I'm the life of the party, I know how to have a good time, and make sure everyone else around me does the same.
:: I'm a happy drunk. I know how to hold my liquor really well, and even when I'm shit faced I don't come off as obnoxious.

What about your weaknesses?

:: Sometimes I throw a joke out there when it is obviously the wrong time for it. Sure it will still get some laughs...but scolding looks as well. My humor has been known to get me into trouble before, but as if that's going to stop me.
:: I can't cook to save my life. There are alot of empty pizza boxes in my kitchen. Usually I eat out, and order a beer to go with it...it's just so much easier.
:: I don't take life seriously. Not work, friends, family...nothing. I try not to be serious about anything. And on top of all that, he has little to no motivation.
:: I drink alot of beer, and sometimes smoke some weed. I have atleast a beer or two a day depending on how things went for me that day. I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic, becuase it's something that I have control over. It's usually just to help unwind.
:: Kind of embarrassing but I hate spiders...okay, more like I'm deathly afraid of Spiders. If I see one...well, let's just say it's not pretty and I'll turn blue from embarrassment, but hey man. They scare the fuckin' crap out of me, what else can I say.

What kind of things do you like?

:: A cold beer or two after a long day of work, is the best way to unwind.
:: It's kind of gay, but I really enjoy a good bubble bath...with the smelling salts, and the rubber duckey...and ofcourse some soothing music, in a candle lit atmosphere...hey the chicks love it.
:: I love dogs. I have a big chocolate covered half Saint Bernard, half Border Collie mix, named Moose. He's my bestfriend, and I love that guy to death.
:: I like the Yankees. I'm a huge Yankees fan...unless they're playing the Astros. I grew up with that team. I go to alot of the home games here in NYC. It's a fun thing I like to o by myself even somtimes.
:: I've always enjoyed Art...I like to bust out an old canvas every know and then just to play around. Going to exhibits and museums is also fun for me. I don't act very cultured but I enjoy it all.

How about dislike?

:: Those slutty Posh Spice kinds of girls. They are disgusting. I like a girl who watch Sports, and can drink a beer.
:: I don't do Politics. Yeah, definately not my favorite subject. There is nothing more agitating than listening to a bunch of assholes that don't know what they're talking about.
:: I hate cats. They are borderline vermin in my book. They bite, and scratch, and don't really give a damn about you.
:: It kills me to see a good book get turned into a crappy movie. It never turns out good, why do they keep doing it?
:: I'm not a wino. I actually can't stand the smell or taste of wine. Never have been able to. It's way to acidic for me. A beer will do me just fine.

Do you have any habits?

:: I will bite my fingernails down to the bone if I can't put anything on paper.
:: I sing in the shower...and sometimes I dance along too.
:: This is going to be slightly embarrassing, and I'd call it more of a quirk, than a habit...but I like to see people's upside down face's. When I was little, and rode the bus to school, I used to lay down on my back and study everyone's faces upside down. It was funny to me then...but I sort of never stopped. Now everytime I make a new friend, I have to see their upside down face, eventually.

What is your sexual preference? Are you hitting on me...because I'm straight....not that I'm not cool with gay people, because I am...but just so you know...I'm straight.

Where are you from originally? Houston, Texas

What has your life been like?

Well I was born in Houston, Texas about thirty years ago. My parents, Edward & Evelynn owned a Townhome there, which is where I grew up; along with my older brother, Johnathan, and my younger sister, Katherine. I lived in that neighborhood for over twenty years. Went to Elementary School, Middle School, and High School there. Grew up with the same group of kids, and had the same set of friends. By the time I graduated from High School, I was offered a full paid scholarship to University of Houston in Art. I decided that I was tired of the same old, same old...and I moved here to New York.

I got into NYU, but wasn't offered the same plan. It wasn't a free ride. I just recently finished paying off all of my school loans a couple years back. But yeah, I worked as a bartender to help pay the bills. About half-way through my first year here, my brother Johnny moved out, and we got an apartment together. Living with my brother was actually kind of cool, especially without the parentals on our backs. Our pad was party central, until we almost got evicted from noise complaints. My Senior year at NYU, my Brother moved in with his lady friend, Irina, and I was forced into moving into a much smaller place without him being able to share the rent. It kind of pissed me off, but when Irina got pregnant later on that year, and I saw Johnny freaking out, I let it go. So, I graduated from NYU with my Bachleors of Arts, and then soon became an uncle. My nephew's name is Michael, and he's strating to become a big guy. My younger sister Katherine got knocked up right out of High School, and now lives with her Husband in California...we really don't talk that much or hardly see eachother. She's one of those Jesus freaks...carries a bible with her kind of stuff.

So, once I got my degree, I got a cartoonist job immediately, but it was only for the school paper at NYU. That place sucked. It was like, wow I just got out of college, and here I am again...now working for one. I only stayed there for a year or two, and that's when I got my job at the New York Tribune. I felt proud to work here, at first. Like it was a distinguished job...and sure, it kind of is...but at the same time, I'm just so bored with it. This place sucks, but I still have no intentions of leaving. I have a decent salary, that allows me to not live from paycheck to paycheck, and decent benefits. Still, a full-paid vacation, would be nice. I've been with you guys for what like five...maybe six years now? Come on, hook a brother up.

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Let's talk about appearance

Who do people say you look like? Paul Rudd.

Tell us about your hair.

I naturally have thick, and curly long brown hair...but I got tired of the long hair, and decided to cut it way down. If I feel like dressing up, I'll put some gel in there...but for the most of time, I just check to make sure its not sticking up on its end's. In the morning I'll run my fingers through it, and call it a day. I don't find the appearance of my hair to be a big deal.

What are your eyes like?

I have light green eyes, and yeah they show my emotions easily. I'm like an open book...really easy to read. They don't really sparkle, but then again I woud'nt really know. I wear contacts, but they dont change my color or anything. I can roll my eyes to the back of my head completely, and am a pro at folding my eyelids behind eachother...gross I know.

How tall are you? 5'11" exactly.

What is your body like?

You know, people say I'm tall but I don't feel like it. And I'm definately not fat...but I'm not skinny either...I guess I'm just healthy. Sure I don't have a six pack...or buns of steal, but I certainly don't have the beer gut. I made a promise to myself when I turned thirty...no beer guts. My breasts? Well arn't they just the most veluptuous and biggest breasts you've ever seen? Bra size you say? ..... I don't wear one. Hahahaha, sorry I had to finish that one out.

What kind of clothes do you like?

I'm a casual guy. I like wearing jeans and a printed tee...yeah, even to work. I'm a cartoonist for crying out loud. If you're expecting me to walk in with a tie and some church shoes, you're dead wrong. I wore a tie to my first day of work...you know, to make a good impression...by the end of that day I said to Hell with it. On a date, I might try to spruce things up by adding a casual blazer to my jeans and sneakers, but that's about as formal as I'll go. I've never been big on dressing to impress. My favorite outfit is my newest pair of jeans, and a Pink Floyd shirt, but I have alot of shirts, so I dunno...the list could go on, and on, and on. I have alot of shirts, and alot of jerseys. It still only takes me five minutes to get ready in the morning though. I'll pick out whatever is clean and walk out the door.

Do you have any distinguishing features?

Oh you mean besides my penis, hahahahaha, just kidding...not really, SO yeah. Don't have any tattoos. Not that I didn't want one, I just never figured out what I wanted. By the time I'm 80, I should know. I have freckles on my shoulders that came about after recovering from a really bad sun burn in College, but other than that...not freckles. I've got a hint of color in my skin, but I still look like you're typical white guy. Not too light, not too dark. My voice? Well I would say it's light, but not high...not deep or dark either. I've always got a hint of sarcasm in me though, so please don't get offended, it's just who I am. I have a really nice silver rolex, which is always hidden in my sock drawer...I don't really like to wear any jewelry. I got bit by a copper head when I was tweleve years old, on my right calf. There's a scar there, but it's faint considering the leg hair, that's covering it. I guess that's all for my distinguishing features, I mean but ofcourse, my good looks.

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Let's get a bit more personal

What is your name? David
How old are you? 21
How long have you been doing this? +1 yr.
How can we contact you? AIM= dgab87
How did you find us? Admin

[Kristin]

ACCEPTED :: SPECIALIST

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