What's troubling you?, A chance to talk about whats troubling u

I've started this topic, so people can, if they want, to talk about your problems.

If you post your problems here, not only are you letting it out, but I and anyone else who reads it can try and give you advice, i thought of it because you're not likely to meet that person the next day so you won't feel ashamed.

I hope this helps someone.

Luvz ya
Anwen
X

I went with my friend to a place called Santa Cruz Boardwalk yesterday. Well this boy walked by us and he was wearing sunglasses so I couldn't tell if he was looking at us or not, but it sure did look that way. He was tall and so hot. He looked alot like Hayden Christson, from Star Wars. And he looked like he was at least seventeen. Then I saw him again in line for a ride and I glanced his way. He glanced at me. Then we started smiling at each other. And to clear any doubts to whether or not he was looking, as the ride was going up he leaned over his seat to look back at us with a smile. Anyways, we finally got to start walking together. Only I found out that this hot, hot guy is only fourteen. Now, I don't have problem with dating people or even being friends with people who are a little younger than me. And he's only about two years younger. But he probably wasn't interested in an older girl. But he walked with us all day, until sixthirty. Then he went to dinner and then he came back and met us at the bumper cars.
He was so hot, he had the sweetest smile, and he was sort of quiet, I loved his dress style: baggy pants, a dark skull type t-shirt, and skate shoes. He had dimples. He had the sweetest smile, with two dimples. And he didn't remind me of other guys. Like while he had left for dinner two Mexican young men came up and they were just totally different from this boy. They made me feel uncomfortable and I just kept secretly hoping that Frances or my friend, who'd gone off to play in her beloved bumper cars yet again, would come over and sit with me, but I wanted Frances, the boy, to come more. I don't know he just didn't seem like other guys. He was friendly and he ran for cross country, which I love.
I was so pitiful. I mean I only just met this guy and I was in tears in the car after we left cuz I didn't want to leave. I didn't feel this sort of attactment to my ex. I didn't even know I could ever fall for someone like that. Now I know what it means by love at first site. I'm so pitiful. I've thought about him all day.
However, he's gone and though I have his email address, he's probably not interested in me. I feel so depressed. I don't know if I can describe it. It was like...the thought of not being near him was suffocating. And when he was standing next to me I felt so....happy. Sort of l;ike it was all okay.
I could've accepted not being able to date him, so long as I could have been friends with him. I mean he's so cool. But then my friend told me today that I didn't need to write him and that I needed to find a friend my own age. That set me over the edge. I've been sobbing for the last hour. How horrible is that?
I need to say something else about him. He is so sweet. We were pretty awkward, I dont think any of us knew what to say. But we did talk. And we kept laughing for no reason. He had the sweetest voice. Him and I got up on a log ride and of course I was just as content as one could be. We were up in a log, with water, it was dark, I mean even if we were just friends that'd be fine. God dammit I miss him so badly and I cant stand the idea of never being able to see him again or talk to him. Its not fair at all. Why cant I just be friends with him? Why does age have to matter so god damn much?

Hm, what's bothering me?

Well, I'm slowly but surely falling for my ex-boyfriend/friend again. I think he might like me back too. However, I'm not sure. My friend says that he's thinking about asking me to Homecoming and/or ask me out. I don't know what to do. It's really bugging me. Also, if anything does happen, when it ends, I don't want it to end up with us not being friends again. Ah, I hate this.

*sighs dramatically*

Love can be so damn furstrating, can't it?

aww bless you september! i think you're in love! which is great, if you feel this way over a guy, man i'v NEVER felt like that over a guy, but i'm weird so anywho, if you really like this guy as much as you say you do then go for it! where is he from, cause if he's not that far you could always meet sumtym! anything's possible hunny!

luvz ya
Anwen
X

p.s, he sounds completely f.a.f! i luv the star wars dude!

He's from San Fransisco, which really sin't that far away. And I wrote him an email and he wrote back. He said he had fun hanging with me and my friend and that he wanted to do it again. That just made me smile. I'm not crying anymore, but I can not stop thinking about him and whenever I think about him I smile. I'm so happy to at least be able to talk to him, but I though all I want to do is talk to him I'm scared to annoy him by writing him all the time, though it kills me to have to not write him as much as I want to. He gave me his phone number but I'm too scared to call, afraid I'll scare him away. If I lost him even as a friend I think I would just...I don't know but I wouldn't be okay...

Sept, if you're scared you'll scare him away then be subtle, say things lyk who do r lyk, and slowly coax him to see if he feels the same way, sometimes you cnt just hope he'll come to you. good luck! i hope i've helped

luvz ya
Anwen
X

Mizz Dreamer, if you think you lyk ur ex then there's nothing wrong with that, i say go for it, n have fun at ur home comming cause we don't have them in britain to be thankful! lol :P

luvz ya
Anwen
X

Thanks Anwen. It's ok though. He doesn't like me, but I'm still happy though. It sucks that you don't have Homecoming over there. The dance is tonight and I have to go get ready now.

Have fun

I hope you have a lot of fun, i get prom at the end of my final year (which is this year) so i have that to look forward to lol

luvz ya
Anwen
X

I think that I'm about to fucking loose my mind. Let me start at the beginning. First off, I'm not one who can open up about their problems without feeling like a drama queen. On several occasions I've almost opened up to a friend, but then I start realizing how she probably doesn't need to be burdened. No way in hell will I ever talk to my mother again. And so I guess I'll just have to talk ya'll. I hope I dont sound like a bitchy whine bucket.
Okay, I did something with a guy about five months ago. Me and my friend snuck out of the house late at night, got all sexily dressed, met two boys down the street, and I let the boy eat me out. At first I had no regrets. Now, however, and for the past five months I have been having this horrible, painful itch. I have become addicted to benadryl. I kept it a secret from my mom until now, when I broke down and admitted to the truth. It turns out I just might have an STD. I am scared to death! I cannot believbe how goddamn stupid I was. I was a fool! Didn't know the guy at all I din't ask him if he was clean. I just trusted my friend to take care of me. She's a bitch and she's out of my life now! Lost her number before I moved. Good riddance! I hope if this is an STD, if it is herpes or whatever it is that the boy, lets just call him ryan, has a far worse itch than me and I hope he has several more!!!!!
I was a complete idiot. I did it all because I thouhgt, hey, I'm stupid, i'm not very talented, in fact I'm not talented, I'm not gonna succeed i nlife, why not fuck up what's left of it.
Now mama is being a bitch because she keeps shrinking me and screaming at me. And bringing it all up. My parents marriage is already fucked up, but because she's yet to tell my dad if he finds out it all goes down the drain. He's probably gonna kick me out of the house. I told momma to tell dad because I dont want whats left of their marriage ripping up because of me. I can't live like the family fuck up, I can't live knowing I ruined my family's relationship, knowing my siblings are already following my example, and knowing that when I was once daddy's little girl, he'll think me his own little dirty ho from now on.
I want to run away. I have no cash and I don't no anybody up here. That could all come to my advantage, though. I could pack only the neccessities. I could hang out at the skate park all day, snooze in the grave yard at night, I'd probably not sleep at night. I'd probably try to rest as much as I could at day time. I'd stay in public areas and only ride with kids my age. I'd threatened to run away before. This time I have it all planned out. I plan to do it in a few weeks, but God I'm scared to death.
Plus, momma found the runaway plan list and now she's hassling me. She also found a suicide poem I wrote the other day. I tried to just laugh it off but she's not really buying. I might have to leave all my lothes at home and runoff tonight. I dont know how i'll lug my little bag up the street without people noticing, hay, she's a runaway!
I have two friends. Francis and a girl named Alyssa. That is it. Alyssa nd I were firends when we were young. Last year we got reaquainted through email. I have yet to call her. We've become great friends though email. I love her like a sister. But I know that when I call her, as it always does, when she gets to know me, I'll lose her. And Anwen, you said that i need to take a risk and somehow let Francis know the way I feel. I really appreciated that, but see, I can't let him know. See, if I let him know I care, even as a friend, if I let him really get to know me, I'll loose him. I know I will. I wont let that happen. I'll die before I lose another friend. I will die if it happens. The idea of living for possibly, whats the usual human lifespan? 100? That's unbearable for me.

Wow, September now you reeli need to listen to me on this one, no matter what, do not run away, I realise things are getting reeli bad at home, but you need to move on, and if you don't tell someone close to you these things then you'll make the biggest mistake of your life, I understand you feel stupid, above all I know, a friend of mine was raped and went suicidal on me, I tried to help her through it and after awhile she got over it, but not until she told me she was raped, you need to tell someone and hopfully as soon as possible, If you think you don't have many friends then you're mistaken, you have friends here, feel free you email me at anytime, or reply on this page.
If anyone knows about some of the things you're going through it's me, especially if it's with your family, see I don't think you're dad will think you're a ho, but you need to tell him, because if you do hav STD and you become ill because of it, would you rather, your mum, who he doesn't get along with, or a docter, who he doesn't know, or you, the person who at that moment will need him more than anyone.
We all make mistakes, and I no times like this hurt more than hell, but don't do anything drastic, believe i made that mistake as you know, running away will only make your problems worse, if you feel you need to talk some more, then here's my private email.
Singer_4_lyf@hotmail.co.uk

Luvz ya
Anwen
X

P.S, At this moment in time I need to rant and rave about something.
You all probably have heard about my little but big mistake of cutting myself, don't worry I'm moving on, but something is stopping me, and his name is Robin.
He's a boy who I thought i could trust, I tld him about my cutting 4 advice, but instead he made me feel like a freak, he kept checking up on me and making me feel like their was something wrong with me, which i didn't.
On monday, he and a frend ganged up on me, taking the mic out of 'emos' they're like moshers, only deeper and many r deepressed and also cut themselves, i'm not emo, but frends of mine r, one of them does cut himself, now that's a dramatic story, and I owe him so much for his help to me, anyway, Robin has cut himself in the past due to his own problems, so when he was making fun of emos it upset me, so i called him a hypocrite, the reaction, he threatened me, these were his exact words:
"Don't you dare calling me a f*cking hypocrite you stupid emo, call me one again and I'll give you a reason to slit your wrists."
As youy can guess it scared me, and then the next day when friends of mine confronted him, he his whole class that i slit my wrists frequently, but i don't anymore, so now people are assuming and i'm having to show my wrists to people, luckily the scars are now gone so i'll be fine, but i'm ranting, because he's still giving me hell and my older sister now wants to go f*ck him up.
Yes people, my life is messed up.

Ah, September, very hard situation to deal with. I don't really know what to say to you. All I can is that you shouldn't run away and give in to everything. Stay strong, it'll work out better in the long run if you do. I'll pray for you.


Now, for me. I'm still being troubled by my ex. First, I thought I had gotten over him and onto liking this Freshman I've known since 8th grade. Yet, he was joking around and messing with me, he didn't really like me. But I knew that and still liked him. Now though, I'm back to liking my ex. He's sorta been flirting with me, in a weird way though. I'm pretty sure he's just joking around. But when I blew him a kiss, just as a joke, he blew one back. The first time I did that, he looked shocked. I don't know if he's just joking around or not. He keeps messing with me, and it's bugging me. What should I do?

Well I am totally new with this love thing. I've had one boyfriend and I've only been in puppy-love once, so I can't honestly give you good advice from my own life. However, I once knew this girl and she was absolutely crazy about this one boy. And he treated her like shit. And she just wouldn't get over him. I think that alot of people fear they wont ever find someone, so they think well, better this guy than no guy, even if I'm not happy. At least, that's how I felt when I had a boyfriend. But taken from my life, and from watching this girl's messed up life, I must say that you shouldn't be with him if you dont really like him. Or worse if you are crazy about him and he treats you like crap. Cuz it's not worth it. Dont know if that helped or not.

Um, okay, first the somewhat funny somewhat miserable occurence. I was at the skate park with my brother. He wanted to do a drop in, but he was too scared to do it. I'm not a skater chick, at least I'm not presently, but I figured I'd get up and go try to help him out. So I was standing there waiting for him to do it, and I got to thinking hey, that don't look too high. Why not? A drop in, I don't know if ya'll know or not, but it's basically where you stand at the top of a ramp or empty swimming pool and slide in. So I put my foot on the back of the skate board and slanted it preparing to go down the ramp. My brother says, hey, maybe you should wear my helmet. But me being all show off (hey, look what I can do!) said, no I don't wanna wear that dorky thing.
And so I just did it. I fell off and landed on my wrist. It hurt pretty bad but I laughed and got back up. Any sane person might've taken that as a hint to at list put on some safety gear. And mind you I've never been on a skateboard before this. But did I get any safety gear? Nope. Not me. I went down again and I scraped and bruised my hip. Any sane person would've defintely taken the hint at that point, because now my wrist AND my hip were throbbing. And yet I got back on the ramp and di it again! And that time I fell completely off the board, smashing my head against the concrete. And so now I think I have a minor concussion and a sprained, possibly broken wrist. Will I ever be dumb enough to ride without a helmet? Heck no!

My dad's been snubbing me. He hasn't once asked if I'm okay. I already mentioned that I dont have alot of friends. I also dont get out of the house much. I talk to ya'll, I read at fanfiction, I write, I watch television, and I daydream. That would be fine if I also had a social life, except that I don't have much of one. So basically I'm a hermit. I already might have to live with a lifelong STD. I dont think grounding me from the only friends I have is fair. Because my dad wont let me on the computer or talk to people. So now I don't have much to do. It isn't very healthy for a kid to be so isolated. You start thinking morbidly.
Twice now my siblings have said rude things to me and I've tried to put up with it. Finally I cracked and basically told them to stop or else I'd slap em. Daddy completely ignored what they said to me and screamed at me, with his face red and taut, to never say something like that again or he'd personally whip my ass.
He tells me with minor things, like when my brother disrespects my momma, to snub my brother for a few hours or a day, to let him know what he did was wrong. It's a given he'll do worse with me because mines so much more major a problem. He did this once before when he found out I had a boyfriend. Treated me like shit. Didn't even offer to make me any breakfast, while he in front of me made my siblings something. I will not put up with being treated like that. I'm not going to wear a scarlet letter on my breast because I made a mistake. He thinks that grounding me from my only friends and snubbing me will get me to realize what I did was wrong. But if I wanted to, I could go out and do it again. The possibility of an STD has basically grounded me. This is really traumatic, because who wants to date the girl with herpes, if thats what I've got? I'm looking at living my life alone and all my parents can do is punish me like some freakoing Puritan lifestyle would. I'm sorry to be talking so much. I just dont think it's right to be treated. And my mom says that my family is my ally and that htye love me and are going to fix this problem. Is that how they fix it/ Ostrecizing me?

I'm realy glad you're telling us this, even if it's anyone, and you've kind of answered you're own problem, you've got to tell your mum and dad about all of this, you've got to let them know they are really hurting you and by what they're doing they're going to drive you to do something drastic, the best thing to do is do that, or something that could help better, your school councellour, becasue they won't judge you they'll only try to help and it'll be confidential, what i'm tryin to get at is that you have to tell people these feelings, or they'll eat you up inside and inless you want to make the mistake i did you should NEVA do that. I hope your arm and waist is ok, we wouldn't want you unable to write now would we :)

Luvz ya
Anwen.

Mizz Dreamer, I think September has got you covered there my friend, besides I'm empty in the love life department. I have no experience to help from. I'm sure you'll be fine, but in all honesty from me, the girl wif no love life, i think you should get in there, you only live once!