predators (version 2)

[fireshadow]

hi! i know i already put 'predators' in but i decided that i might change it. there's this author i'm, like, obsessed with, and he has this really cool way of writing. it's all in first person but he switches who's point of view it is. i know i'm better at writing in third person but i decided that first person's funner and, for this story, this might be a good way of writing it 2 make it more interesting. this way i can put in dual protagonists and give some of the limelight 2 the assasin, which'll be a fun view 2 see. for now, i basically changed all the she's for i's and stuff like that and then i added a bit more of the story. tell me what you think. enjoy! :D

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Audrey


1

Predator’s eyes. That was the first thing I noticed, when I first set eyes on him. Eyes as grey as storm clouds and just as dangerous. They pierced my heart as if they could see straight into it. He stared straight at me, his gaze unwavering. There was something about him that screamed danger. I could tell he was the type of person who was not to be tampered with. So, of course, I went right up to him.

“What do you want?”

“Excuse me?” He looked confused.

“You were staring at me. Why?”

We were standing in the hallway of the school. He had his back to his locker, but I was in a very un-strategical spot. As the bell rang and hordes of teenagers began to rush to their first class of the year, I was knocked from behind and went reeling into him. He grabbed my shoulders to steady me.

“Whoa! You okay?”

“Um…..yeah.” I grabbed his shoulder to help stabilize myself and looked up into the his face. He was good-looking, but not too good-looking. He had over-long blond hair and strong features. He had one of those forgettable faces. Those faces that you’d see one day, and then, a second later, forget you ever saw it. Except for those eyes. Predator’s eyes. Dangerous, yet beautiful, somehow…

“Now who’s staring?” His voice brought me out of my reverie.

“Sorry…what?” I was perplexed.

“You came over here to accuse me of staring. Now you’re staring.” He grinned.

I blushed. “Sorry.” I was confused. Since when did I act this way? I had always been defensive – a predator. Now I just felt weak and confused. He had, somehow, disarmed me and stolen my control of the conversation. Since when did I let anyone gain advantage over me?

He made sure I was steady and let go of my shoulders. “It’s okay. But, we’d better get to our classes. We’re late.”

“Right. Um….you’re new, right? What class do you have now? I can show you how to get there if you want?”

“Yeah. That’d be great. Thanks. I have Anthropology, now. With Mr. Chase.”

“Me too.”

“Cool.” He grinned. Bending down, he started to help me gather the books I hadn’t realized I had dropped. I bent down on my knees and picked up my trigonometry textbook. He had gathered the rest and stood up. He cradled the books in one arm and reached out the other hand to help me up.

I stared at the proffered hand. But I was starting to get back to my regular self. I didn’t need his help. I didn’t need anyone’s help. “I don’t need any help, thanks.” The words came out more vehemently than the situation called for, but I didn’t want him to think I could be taken advantage of. Pushing away his hand I rolled onto the balls of my feet and stood up. I saw something spark in his eyes but then he shrugged. He handed me the rest of my books.

“Thanks,” I mumbled before turning and heading off to class. He had to jog to catch up with my fast steps.

“Eric, by the way.”

“What?”

“You never asked my name. It’s Eric. Eric Knight.”

“Oh. I’m Audrey.” Then I reached our class. Without saying anything else to him, I reached for the door, walked inside and took a seat in the back corner of the room near the window. I stared out the window and was instantly lost in a whirlwind of daydreams. By the end of the class, I had completely forgotten about Eric.

2

Moving swiftly, I managed to maneuver my way through the throngs of kids rushing to find their friends and make the most of the half-hour lunch break they had. It was a beautiful sunny day and I decided to go outside. It didn’t really matter where I sat, because I always sat alone. I pushed through the heavy double doors and made my way towards my favorite spot; under a big weeping willow by the edge of the soccer field. It was a perfect spot. There was enough shade, but I could still feel the warmth of the sunlight, seeping through the leaves. Best of all, it was off to the side, enough of a distance away from the other groups of kids outside, that I could mind my own business without being noticed or bugged.

I opened my lunchbox and drew out an apple. Biting into it, I enjoyed the sweet taste of it and laughed as the juice squirted all over me. I wiped away the juice and turned to look around at the grounds. That was another reason I liked this spot. It was on a small hill, giving me a good vantage point to see everything going on across the grounds. I looked down the field. There were groups of kids strewn all over the grounds; gossiping girls, groups of guys watching a fight, a couple cheerleaders flirting with the jocks. Everything you’d expect from your average cliché high school. Boring, or what? I sighed. Then I turned to look down the other side of the hill. I was startled to see someone heading in this direction. That was surprising. No one ever hung with me. People generally didn’t even notice me. I used to be that kid that all the popular kids pick on, but I settled that. Then they went crying to their boyfriends, the jocks, so I beat them up. Hey, I didn’t ask to fight. I gave them every chance to walk away. They brought it on themselves. So, basically, I was a forgotten outcast. I was quite surprised to see someone heading towards me. Blocking the sunlight with my hand, I squinted to see who it was. I could see that it was a guy but I couldn’t make out specific features. He was almost at the hill, now. Jogging up the rest of the way to the hill, he looked up at me and waved. I saw a flash of gray eyes glinting in the sun. Predator’s eyes. Eric.

“Hey!” He sauntered the rest of the way up the hill, and stopped in front of me, grinning. “Mind if I join you?”

“Um…..sure….yeah….I guess….why not?” Great. Finally someone seems to possibly want to get to know me, and I make a fool of myself. But I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. People didn’t usually try and talk to me, much less interact like this. I wasn’t what you’d call a socialite.

But, seemingly, I hadn’t completely scared him off, yet. He laughed and sat down, taking out his lunch.

“Do you always sit by yourself like this?”

My anger instantly flared. Why was that, or anything else about me, for that matter, his business? I automatically turned defensive. “Do you usually go out of your way to bug people who obviously want to be alone?”

“No. But, you know, it’s not healthy to want to be alone so much of the time.”

“Thank you, Dr. Phil,” I said sarcastically, my voice just a little bit too loud in annoyance. This guy was really getting on my nerves. “Look, I don’t know who you think you are or what you’re trying to do – I don’t particularly care. But I don’t need or want your help. So you can just go and find yourself a new mental patient.”

To my surprise, I saw a small smirk appear on his lips. “Very cold. I completely approve.” Without another word, he stood up and grabbed his lunch in one quick, fluid movement. Before I could say anything, he was down the hill and out of sight.

I was now more confused than I’d ever been. Questions were pouring on me like rain. What had just happened? Who was this mysterious boy? Most importantly, what did he want with me?The answers were slipping through my fingers like raindrops. For one of the first times in my life, I had no answers. All I knew was that, if I had anything to say about it, I was going to find those answers.




Eric


1
I slumped against the side of the school, trying to catch my breath. I was more confused than I had ever been in my life. Even after my fathers’ death. Even after finding out he was an assassin. Even after they blackmailed me and recruited me. I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to work for them. I don’t want to hurt her….

Audrey Canagan. Well, I can definitely say she is nothing like I expected. What did I expect? Hmm. Good question. I don’t know. I guess I didn’t expect anything. I let down my guard. I was stupid enough to think I could just do this easily and then they’d just let me go. The mission was simple: befriend the girl and make sure she doesn’t interfere with our plans to kill her mother. If she interferes, dispose of her.

It was as simple as that. But now that I’ve met her, I’m not so sure I can do it. For one thing, she’s so tightly wound and defensive I don’t know if it would be possible to befriend her. And secondly, she seems nice. Maybe a little mean, a little harsh, a little misunderstood – but nice. I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s just so….so…. I don’t know. The word ‘predator’ comes to mind. I’m supposed to be the predator. I’m a freaking assassin. Yet, I’m the one caught in her gaze. I’m the confused one. I’m the weak one. And I can’t hurt her. I don’t want to.

Oh god, what do I do? This is not good. I am not supposed to be thinking like this. I’m not supposed to be thinking at all. I’m supposed to just do the task without thinking and be over with it. But I can’t hurt Audrey. No. Thinking like that is going to get me and my family killed. I can do it. I must do it. I can’t afford to think like
that. Not with this much at stake. But what if I can’t?

What if I can’t?

2
Great. I skidded around the corner, rushing down the hall to get to my class. I was late. My mind was preoccupied. I had been thinking about Audrey and my situation. What was I going to do about that? I would have to just try my best to follow the plan. I had to try and befriend her. I had to_

Crash. Turning into the art classroom, I knocked into someone, causing both of us to fall on the floor. Confused, I looked around me.

“What is it with you and knocking into me?” the familiar voice sounded annoyed but I could sense the joke.

Audrey. Great. I told myself to act casual. I mused, “Actually, I believe it was you who bumped into me, if I recall correctly.”

“Right.” She tried to sound like it didn’t matter but I could see a small blush creeping up her neck. I grinned.

“What?” She was on the defensive again.

“Nothing.” I got onto my knees and began to gather the books I had dropped.

She leaned down to help me gather the scattered books. “So, you’re in my art class too? Are you stalking me or something? You’ve been in every one of my classes so far.”

This was true. For my mission’s sake, the company had gotten me into almost all of her classes. I hadn’t expected her to notice. What was I supposed to say? I decided to go for mysterious. “What if I am stalking you?”

By this time, we had gathered all of the books. She handed the rest to me and I stood up. Ignoring my proffered hand, she stood up on her own.

“Well, I’m flattered,” she said, eyes sparkling, “I’ve never been stalked before.”

I grinned and gave her a fake bow, making a flourish with my hand. “Well then, I am honored to be your official stalker.” I winked.

I could see her trying not to react, but a small laugh escaped her lips.

By this time our entire class was laughing, teasing and whooping. Our teacher, Ms. Williams, was attempting to settle the class down. “Will you two sit down now, please?” Audrey was blushing and I followed her to take the only empty seat, next to her, in the back of the room. We sat down and Ms. Williams managed to get the noise back to a regular buzz.

I turned to Audrey. “So, what are we supposed to be doing?”

“Ms. Williams wants to get a sense of our art styles, so, basically, we’re allowed to draw anything we want. Improv.” She passed me a piece of paper, a pencil, and an eraser.

“Thanks.”

She nodded and bent down to continue her work. Her long black hair fell over her paper and I couldn’t see it. I wondered what she was drawing.

“Can I see?”

“No.”

Alright then.

She looked up at me, and I could see a mysterious tinkle in those beautiful blue eyes. “It’s a surprise.” She could see my dazed confusion and she smirked, then turned back to her work.

Halfway through class, I was spacing out, and I still hadn’t thought of what to draw. I was snapped out of my reverie by having something thrown at my head. It was a rolled up sheet of paper. Looking up, I could see one of my classmates turned backwards in his chair, smirking at me. I recognized him as Charles Johnson, from my chem class. I unrolled the crunched up paper and stared at the picture. It was a badly drawn picture of me trying to kiss Audrey, and her punching me.

Audrey looked over my shoulder at the picture and grunted in disgust. She grabbed it, crunched it up, and threw it back at Charles’ head, sticking out her tongue at him. He and a few of his friends were on the floor laughing and slapping each other’s backs, by now.

“Shut up, Johnson,” she threatened vehemently. Turning to me, she noticed the look on my face, and grabbed my shoulder, turning me away from where I was staring at the laughing boys. “Don’t listen to them, Eric, they’re just jerks.”

She was acting nicer to me than I’d seen her act before. I figured if I was supposed to try and befriend her, now was as good a time as any. “Um….Audrey…?”

“Yeah?”

“You know how I’m really new here, right? I just moved to town three days ago_”

“Spit it out, Eric.”

“Well….I was just wondering if you’d help show me around town a bit, after school?”

“I don’t have a car.”

“We can use my motorcycle.”

“Eeeeeeeeeee! You have a motorcycle!?” She squealed. Wow. I did not expect that. That was a little scary and extremely uncharacteristic of her if the fact that the entire class was staring at her in shock meant anything.

“Uh…Yeah. I have a Harley.”

“I’ve always wanted to ride one of those!” Audrey seemed to have completely forgotten her whole mean-tough-guy act, and was now looking genuinely excited. It was a little scary and unnerving, but kind of funny and endearing all the same. It made me laugh. “Is it a date, then?”

“Yes! I mean….not a date…..just a….a…..something,” she finished awkwardly.

I grinned and teased her. “A ‘something’ sounds great.”

She punched me lightly in the arm, narrowing her eyes at me, as if to say, ‘This means nothing. You’re still not allowed to tease me. I still don’t trust you.’ But then she smiled.

And then we were both laughing.




:ph43r:

[fireshadow]

thanx! glad u like it! i'll post more now! just warning u, no one was commenting so i haven't been on 4 a couple months so there's A LOT!!! please review!

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3

Putting my hands in my pockets, I paced the school parking lot around my Harley Davidson, waiting for Audrey. I was a little nervous, I had to admit. It was a nice day out. The sun was still pretty high in the sky and it was shining brightly. It was hot, and I was wearing short sleeves. I was nervous, but also a little excited. I felt like I really did want to know Audrey. Normally. Not for the mission. Not to hurt her….

“Hey.” I turned to see Audrey jogging across the parking lot towards me. She was smiling. She had a nice smile. I wished she would smile more often.

“Hey yourself,” I replied, trying to keep my heart-rate under control. I felt so nervous and guilty. I wasn’t sure I could do this. Hurt her, I mean.

She was basically bouncing on her heels, grinning like a little kid. I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh.

“What?” She nudged me, still grinning. Then she realized that she was looking happy, for once, and quickly corrected it. She frowned, but her eyes betrayed her. They were shining as bright as the sun.

“So, you want to go?” I asked awkwardly, lowering me head.

“Sure,” she said, blushing a bit.

I put on my helmet and handed her the spare. She put it on. It was a little big, but after a bit of adjusting the strap, she managed to get it to fit pretty well.

Swinging my foot over the motorcycle, I kicked back the kick-step and kicked the bike into gear. I noticed Audrey hesitating. “If you don’t want to hold on to me, you can grab the seat.” I hadn’t meant it to sound as cold as it came out. Maybe I cared more than I’d thought. Whether or not she trusted or was comfortable with me, I mean.

She frowned at me for guessing her reason, but she swallowed her pride, hopped on behind me, and put her arms around my shoulders. “So, where do you want me to show you around?” she attempted to break the awkward silence that had fallen over the two of us.

“Well, my mother already showed me around this area a bit, and it’d be easier for me to just wander around here by myself, so, do you want to show me downtown a bit?”

“Ok. Just remind me to call my mother later and tell her I’ll be home late.”

“Sure. Uh….which way is it?”

“Right.”

“All right. You ready?”

“Definitely!” I turned to look at her and she grinned, and I could see some of her excitement coming back. She really did have a nice smile. I grinned back at her. I revved up the engine, turned my handlebars left. “All right, then. Hold on tight.”


“This is amazing!” Audrey yelled at me, trying to be heard over the sound of the wind soaring by us. She was laughing. “Does it go any faster?”

“Faster!!? Are you kidding me? You know how fast this thing is going?” I laughed. “You’re crazy!”

“Come on! Please? I have a need for speed.” I turned for a second to look at her. She was grinning. I had never seen her this happy. Her eyes were shining brighter than the moon. Her black hair was blowing out behind her like a banner of night. She looked beautiful - wild and free. Completely in her element. I couldn’t say no to her.

“All right.”

“Yes!” She sounded so excited, I had to laugh. I hadn’t felt this way in so long. So carefree and happy. I had completely forgotten my mission, my problems, everything was lost in the thrill of the ride.

“But, can we try it on the way home? There’ll be less traffic then.”

“Oh, fine.” I could here the pout in her voice.

“Listen. It’s late. You’ve been showing me around for hours. You must be hungry. Do you want to go somewhere and get some supper?”

“Sure.”

“Which way?”

“Left.”

After a couple minutes, we turned into the diner’s parking lot. I slowed down and then stopped the bike, putting my foot down. I waited a minute but she was still holding on tightly around me. “Uh……Audrey?”

“Yeah?”

“You can let go, now.”

“Right…..um…..sorry,” she stuttered in embarrassment, blushing, “I was spacing out. Just looking around. It’s such a beautiful night. I’ve never been here at night before. It’s kind of pretty. I love the nighttime.” She swung her legs off the bike and let go of me, walking a couple feet away.

“Me too. But…..uh…..why’re we at a hotel?”

“Oh. There aren’t that many restaurants, I know of around here, and most of those are lunch café’s, so they’re probably closed. This was the cheapest place I know. I came here once before.”

“Who were you with?”

“My father.”

“Where is he? I only heard you mention your mother before, and hers is the only name on our class list.”

“He ditched us. Three years ago.” There was no avoiding the bitterness in her voice, despite her attempts to hide it.

Oh, god. I had hurt her. I had not wanted to do that. “I’m so sorry, Audrey.”

She shrugged. “It’s ok. It’s history, now.” But her voice told me otherwise.

I had to say something. “He’s a jerk for ditching you, Audrey.”

She gave me a small lopsided smile. “Really?”

That surprised me. “Of course. You’re amazing. After getting to know you a bit this afternoon, I can already say that. And I barely know you. Anyone who wants to ditch you has got to be a fool.”

“Thanks, Eric.” Looking into her eyes, I could tell she wanted to say more. But she was holding back. She was scared of something. I didn’t want to insult her by asking too many questions, so I left it alone.

“Shut up, Eric. I don’t need your pity.” Looking into her eyes, I could tell she wanted to say otherwise, but she was sticking to her tough act. She was scared of something. I didn’t want to insult her by asking why, so I left it alone.

“Do you want to go inside?”

“Yeah.”


A few minutes later, we were seated at a table, by the big windows of a twelfth floor restaurant, in the fancy hotel. Well, more like I was seated at the table. Audrey was bouncing around looking at the night view of the city skyline from every angle on the circular restaurant. I could tell she didn’t get out very often.
It was quite amusing, actually. The restaurant was fancy and the waiters were all looking at us with disdain. All the other people in the restaurant were fancily dressed adults who looked like they could have been dressed for a ball. And then there was us. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and Audrey was in cargo pants and a t-shirt. Audrey was running around like an excited little girl. I grinned to myself thinking about it.

A stiff looking bald waiter, in a tux, came to stand in front of our table, staring down his pointy nose at me. “What would you like to order tonight?” his tone made it evident that he had left out the ‘make it fast so you can leave before you wreck our reputation.’ I decided I didn’t like him.

“Audrey,” I called her, “get over here!”

She ran over to take her seat across from me, knocking over the pitcher of water, in the process. The water spilled off the table, falling onto the waiter’s shoes and wetting the bottoms of his pants. His face turned beet red and I could see him trying to contain his anger. I had to stifle a laugh that was rising in my throat. After a minute of awkward silence, the red began to ebb away from his face. He had control, I’d give him that. “What would you like to order?” he repeated the question with even more contempt this time. I didn’t like the look of disdain that he was aiming at Audrey. I would have happily started up, but I didn’t want to ruin Audrey’s time.

Audrey realized something and frowned. “Wait, Eric. I just realized I don’t have any money on me.”

“I’ll pay.”

“No. I couldn’t. I don’t want you_”

“I’ll pay.” I was adamant.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” I smiled.

She gave me a reluctant smile back. “Thanks.”

I nodded and flipped through the menu. “I’ll have the teriyaki chicken with rice.”

“I’ll have the steak with potato.” She looked to me, asking if it was ok, and I nodded, smiling.

He nodded, jotting it down in his notebook, and left.

I leaned over the table to talk to Audrey better, and tapped her on her arm to get her attention away from where she was staring out the window again. “Audrey? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

I was reluctant to ask her. I was afraid it would insult her or make her angry or defensive again. But I had to ask. Not for the mission, but for me. I really wanted to get to know her. And I thought that, despite her tough loner attitude, she could use a friend. Maybe she just needed someone to open up to. But I was scared to ask. To ruin whatever little amount I was getting through to her. But I had to ask. “Audrey….um….why….why_?”

“Cough it up, Eric.”

“Ok….um….why are you always so cold? So distant. Did something happen to you?” Because I could understand. because I used to be like that. But I didn’t say that. I just asked the question.

Her beautiful eyes suddenly went cold. “How is that your business?”

“It’s not.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I was just wondering. And I thought that maybe….maybe you need someone to talk to.”

“Well, what if I don’t want to talk?”

“Then that’s ok.” I really meant it, and I think she could sense it.

Her blue eyes instantly changed to show a disarray of emotions. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Of course.” I tried to read her eyes. I could see confusion, surprise, awe, hope, trust, and a whole mix of other emotions.

“Wow.” She looked contemplative and smiled. She took a sip of water.

The waiter came and brought the food. I cut a piece of my chicken and took a bite. At least it was good for all that I was paying. Audrey didn’t touché her food. I went back to our conversation. “Why did you want to know if I meant it?”

“It’s just….I never really met anyone like that before – people who were ok with me not talking or not doing what they want. Everyone always wanted me to do what they want or take it at their pace. Nobody ever really cared if it was ok with me. People just wanted to use me. But…you’re different. I feel like you care. I feel like I can trust you.” She smiled.

The thing about trust and people using her hurt. I wanted her to be able to trust me. Maybe she could with certain things. They told me to keep tabs on her, not be an inside man. Maybe, I could still be her friend. I really did care.

“Audrey?”

“Yeah?”

“I really do care.”

She smiled. “Thanks.” She turned to attack her steak. I could see some of the waiters grimacing at her bad table manners. I laughed.

“Wha’?” she asked, her mouth full, garbling her words.

“Nothing. So….uh….you never answered my question. What’s with the toughie act?”

She suddenly looked uncomfortable again.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me.”

“No. I will. It’s just hard. I’m not used to confiding in people. And it’s a long story.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I smiled encouragingly.

She put down her fork and knife. “Ok.” She told me her story: when she was six, her father got into gambling and drinking. The father that she had loved and trusted up until then began to yell at her for everything she did. She pushed herself to be the model kid but it didn’t help. He would abuse her and her mother, and hit her all the time. Her mother blamed it on the booze and said she still loved him. But when his gambling addiction went too far and he tried to use her for something, her mother got in a fight with him and he left. Her mother couldn’t deal with it and started experimenting with drugs. She died of an overdose a couple months later, by falling asleep in a car and getting into a car crash. After being sent to a bad foster home, Audrey hit the streets. By this time, she was nine. Despite the fact that she fended pretty well for a kid her age, she had a hard time on the streets. She wound up hanging with a group of runaways who taught her how to fight, steal, and fend for herself. She fought well and could protect herself. Then her ‘friends’ got bored of her and tried to use her to get money. They tried to sell her out a couple times – she was thirteen. She ran away. That was when she found Jessica. Jess was pretty cool for an adult. She helped kids off the streets and she really seemed to care. They became close and Jessica adopted her. It wasn’t exactly legal, but Jessica had connections. Audrey had now been living with Jessica, with a fake ID, for five years.

“I really am thankful to her, you know,” she finished off. “And I know I shouldn’t still be so drawn in or tough. But after it all I just can’t get rid of the defensiveness I have and the feeling that everyone’s just trying to use me. And I can’t get rid of the hurt. I just can’t….”

I could see her blinking back tears, then, all of a sudden, the floodgates were open and her tears were flowing free. “I’m sorry. I….” But the tears seemed to be flowing of their own account. She lowered her head, her black hair blocking her face, head in her hands. For a second, I didn’t know what to do. Then I got up and hurried over to the other side of the table to sit next to her.

“Hey,” I tried to sooth her, putting a hand on one of her shaking shoulders. She looked up at me with tearstained eyes, her bangs falling over her face. I smiled at her, opening my arms wide, giving her a choice. “Need a shoulder?” she fell, crying, into my arms, burying her head on my shoulder. I rubbed her back and continued on with the ‘hey’s.

I hated not being able to do anything more for her. But what could I do? I was afraid helping her would just make it worse. Soon I would have to make her life go downhill again. I didn’t know if I could do that. She’d finally found Jessica, a mother who could be there for her. It took her so long to find someone she could trust. And as far as I could tell, she didn’t even trust Jessica that much. She didn’t tell her much. She wanted to be closer but she was so scared. Jessica wasn’t her real family – but she was the closest she had. As far as I knew, the company thought that Jessica was Audrey’s real mother. So, they didn’t know as much as they let on. I felt elated by the small realization. But they were going to kill Jessica. I didn’t know if Audrey could deal with another let down. I didn’t know if I could do that. But, no. I couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t just give it all up. There was too much at stake. For now, I had to try and continue with the plan. This would kill me.

I was jolted from my uneasy thoughts by Audrey, quickly pushing away from me and sitting up straight. “Sorry. Thanks.” She tried to wipe away her tears and gave me a weak, thankful, lopsided smile.

“You probably think I’m really weak now. Breaking down and crying like that. You’re probably pitying me. Ugh. I hate pity.” She was frowning again, mad at herself. She sounded angry and a little sad and scared. Seemingly, she hadn’t actually stopped the tears. They were flowing still as she tried angrily to wipe them away, to no avail. She was reprimanding herself through tears. “Oh, god. I’m such a weakling. I’m such a freaking weakling. This is pathetic. I shouldn’t be confiding in you like this. I shouldn’t trust anyone. I don’t need anyone. I don’t need help. Why am I crying. Since when do I cry? I’m so weak. Ugh!” she was talking more to herself than me but I felt that I had to do something.

Again, she disarmed me and the mission was forgotten. I acted myself, trying to do what I could for this lost and confused soul. “Hey. That is so not true. First of all, you’re not weak at all. Actually, your one of the strongest people I know.” This was true. She was stronger even than most of the assassins I knew, and probably more predatory. She had this air on strength and defiance about her. And she had made it through so much. I admired her more than she’d ever know. She was better at dealing with her problems than I was and I had been through less. And I was an assassin. I was supposed to be Mr. clam and stoic, yet she was more of that than I’d ever be. “You’re amazing. You deal way better than me or anyone I know. And crying does not make you weak. It’s just a better way to let it all out than to let it out through insecurity and anger. All it means is you’ve got stuff to deal with. You’ve got baggage. And that’s not going to change. But that’s ok. It’s better if you can talk to someone. I’m not saying you should talk to or trust everyone. I also happen to be pretty untrusting, believe it or not. But at least find someone who you can just talk to. You need to let it out sometimes or you’ll just be miserable and explode. And I don’t pity you. I feel bad for you, maybe. You got dealt the wrong cards. But pity is for someone weak, who needs your help. You aren’t weak. You’re the strongest person I know_”

“No! Shut up, Eric. You…..you don’t mean that. You’re….you’re just lying to me so you can use me, just like everyone else. And I feel so weak. I shouldn’t be crying. I’m so weak.” But I could tell from her tone that she wasn’t sure of what she was saying. She didn’t really believe it. She was confused. I could understand that. I’d been there. She had now gotten rid of the tears and her eyes were just a little red. She was confused and she was substituting her confusion with blind anger. At herself. At me. But I could see she wanted to trust me. I think she did a bit, like she had said before. She just wasn’t used to trusting. The emotion scared her and she didn’t understand it. I could see a smile – maybe even happiness – hanging on the edge of her feelings and personality, just on the edge of my vision. But she was afraid. She was hiding it. But she wanted it, I could tell. Her emotions could change as quickly as the winds. She would be unpredictable. I knew this because I had been the same on countless occasions and dealt with a few other people in that situation, as well.

“Audrey. Look at me.” I tilted her chin up so she was looking me in the eyes. “Look, you’re not weak. I..…look, I haven’t been through the same stuff as you – not close – but I’ve been through a lot. I know pain. And I know the confusion. Just don’t give up. No matter what happens. And I want to help you. Really. I want to get to know you. But only if you want me to…..”

She was staring into my eyes, trying to read my eyes as I tried to read hers. Hers were full of confusion and hope. Reluctant trust. She could read the truth and seriousness in my eyes when I spoke to her. She knew I meant it. She wanted to trust it. She was wary, but I could see I was getting through.

“All right, Eric. What’s there to lose?” she smiled at me, that lopsided smile I was so fond of. I really wished she would smile more often. But after all I’d found out about her, I couldn’t blame her for being the way she was.

“All right!” I grinned, genuinely happy that she was willing to give me a try. “So, you wanna get to know each other better, or something, right? What’s you’re favorite color?”

“Eric?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re being cheesy. It’s a little un-necessary at this point. I think we’re kind of past the whole ‘let’s get to know each other’ thing, don’t you?”

I blushed. She was right. She had already cried to me – told me her whole story – what did it matter what her favorite color was? Great going, I told myself, way to be lame. “Right, sorry.”

She laughed at my embarrassment and seriousness. “It’s ok. I was just joking. Don’t be so serious all the time.”

“You’re one to talk.” I mumbled before I realized what I was saying. I blushed furiously and stumbled on my words, trying to correct myself. “I mean…..I….I’m sorry….I didn’t mean that…..I……”

“Yeah. You did mean it.” She frowned. Oh god, had I hurt her again? Way to go, Eric, I chided myself. “But you’re right. I am too serious. I should lighten up every now and again. It’s just…..it’s so hard to protect yourself like that. It’s so easy to get hurt. It’s….just ignore me. I don’t know what I’m saying. Never mind.”

“No.” I put a hand on her shoulder. “Not ‘never mind’. It’s important. And just so you know, I know what you mean.” This was true. I don’t know how many times I’d thought the same.

“Thanks.” She said, looking down at her food.

“No problem.” I grinned at her.

I was rewarded by a reluctant smile back.

She looked up at me and I was, again, confused, saddened, and awed as I was plunged into the depths of those deep blue eyes. Our eyes caught and we spent a moment lost in thought, just sitting there, neither of us willing to look away.

Jumping in the air, I started, brought out of my reverie by feeling a tap on my shoulder. Reluctantly, I looked away to see who it was.

“Excuse me, sir.” It was that annoying, stuck up waiter again. That guy was really getting on my nerves.

“What?” I asked, trying and failing to keep the annoyance out of my voice. I tamed it, quickly. Being what I am – an assassin – I have to be good at that type of thing. “Can I help you? I_”

“Eric, you don’t have to be so nice all the time. You really have to learn to stick up for yourself.” Audrey cut me off. If only she new what I’d had to do to stick up for myself. If only she new what I was doing now to stick up for myself and my family. She turned to our waiter. “Yo, Mr. Pighead, what’s you’re problem? Because, I’m lazy. If you have a problem with us, I suggest you get it out now before I get really annoyed and need to bust that snobby stuck-up nose of yours.”

I snorted, only a second before losing control all together, and bursting out laughing. I couldn’t control my laughter. She was so unpredictable. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt like this. Had I ever? I was just so genuinely happy and I was laughing. When had I last done that? Audrey seemed to be turning me inside out and making all the emotions show that I had worked so hard to conceal. It scared me a bit, and confused me, but I thought I liked it. Really liked it. It just felt.…I don’t know....so....alive.

Audrey raised her eyebrows at me, a hint of a smirk showing on her face, and turned back to ‘Mr. Pighead, waiter extraordinaire’. “Well?” I didn’t know how she could keep a straight face. I certainly couldn’t. I was thrown into another round of uproarious laughter, complete with some embarrassing snorting. I had an extremely embarrassing laugh.

“I….I….well….um….” our waiter was beet red and was stuttering in embarrassment, obviously trying to contain his anger. His face was completely red, except for his ears. Then the red crept up to his ears as well and I tried to stifle a chuckle. It didn’t work. He heard it. And then he broke. “Get out of here! Both of you!” he was thundering at us, his face turning ever redder. “Get out!” We had now both collapsed into fits of hysterical laughter, and, in Audrey’s hurry to get out of the booth, she knocked into the new water pitcher that had been given to us. It spilled as a waterfall over his shoes. Again. We broke into even louder laughter, drawing the attention of the entire restaurant. That is, if we hadn’t done so already. A young man, who had been holding a ring behind his back, about to propose to his girlfriend, turned around to see what the commotion was. His girlfriend saw the ring he had forgotten he was hiding, and shrieked. We laughed even harder. So, I have a weird sense of humor. Bite me.

A different waiter rushed the two of us to the counter, and I gave them my visa. The boy at the checkout desk was young. He tried to subdue his laughter as he quickly swiped my card and handed it back to me. I didn’t think he liked our waiter very much. I winked at him and he let loose a small chuckle. ‘Mr. Pighead’ was glaring at him and quickly ushered Audrey and I out the door. He came with us down the elevator and pointed us out the door to make sure we were leaving. We were still laughing too hard to say anything to him, but Audrey managed to stick her tongue out at him. I saw his look of disgust as he yelled a last, “and stay out,” and slammed the door in our faces. I knew we were being childish, but who cared. It was fun. We were both genuinely having fun for the first time in who knows how long. We had both lost our childhoods before we even had a chance to live them – so, why not live them now? They’d been pent up long enough.

Audrey, still laughing, leaned against me. “That,” she said, trying to gulp in some air, “was fun.” She was grinning now, and I grinned back.

“I agree,” I decided to take a chance, “and it was made even more fun by having you there.” Corny, yes. But it was true.

“Don’t push it, Knight.” She narrowed her eyes at me, but she was still smiling. That was a good thing.

We had finally stopped laughing, but we were still grinning as we headed toward my bike. Audrey stopped for a minute, staring up at the sky. “It really is a beautiful night.” It was, I had to agree. The moon was full and shining brightly. The stars were as bright as I’d ever seen them in the city. The whether was perfect, a summery night, but with a cool breeze caressing my face. It was pretty dark out but not too bad. “What time is it?” She was suddenly frowning.

“Uh….” I checked my watch. “midnight.”

Her eyes grew big and she put a hand to her mouth. “Ah! That is not good. My mother is going to kill me!”

Then, suddenly, Audrey remembered something and grinned, forgetting her worries. “Hey! I forgot. You promised me we could go see how fast this thing goes. Yes!”

I stopped in my tracks, groaning. “Oh, no.”

She laughed, grabbing my arm and pulling me fast toward the motorcycle. “Come on! It’ll be fun!”

“You have a weird definition of fun.” Well, it wasn’t too different from mine, actually. But she didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, come on!”

“All right, alright. I’m coming.” I raised my hands in surrender and she laughed.
I hopped onto the bike, and she followed quickly, this time. Swinging her foot over the machine, she sat beside me and put her arms around my shoulders. I could tell she still felt awkward but she was too elated and excited to let it get in her way. I didn’t think anything, including herself, could get in her way if she wanted something.

“Come on! Stop stalling. Let’s go, already.” She moaned.

“Alright. You ready?”

“Yeah!” she grinned at me and I had to grin back.

“All right, then. We’re off.” Grinning in anticipation, I got rid of the kickstand, kicked the bike into gear, and revved up the engine. I turned my handlebars right and we veered in a tight left turn. I loved the thrill of the ride. Hence the motorcycle. I grinned as Audrey whooped and we headed off on the long ride home.


“Wait! Stop here!” I turned the bike onto a quiet side street and Audrey yelled at me to stop. “This is my street. It’s really long and there are barely ever cars on it, especially at this time of night – or morning, shall we say. We can try it here. My house isn’t until the end of the street, anyways. I’m pretty sure it’s safe.”

“Pretty sure?” I questioned, grinning.

She shrugged, grinning at me. “Hey. What’s life without a bit of risk to make it interesting.”

I grinned back, raising my eyebrows. “That’s an interesting philosophy.”

“Works for me. Come on, already. Stop stalling. Let’s see how fast this thing goes. And I really mean as fast as it goes. I want to see that counter in the red zone.” She grinned at me and pulled her helmet down harder. “Let’s go.”

“Do me a favor and hold on tight.”

She narrowed her eyes at me, obviously questioning my motives. It hurt that she still didn’t trust me, but I knew I couldn’t expect it of her. She couldn’t trust anyone. I could understand that.

I sighed. “Look, I just don’t want you to get hurt. It’s easy to fall off this thing when it’s going really fast. Trust me, I’ve tried it.” I winked.

She grinned. “Not as much of a good kid as we put on, are we?”

“I thought you liked that.”

She blushed and looked at the ground. Her whisper was just barely audible. “I guess I do.”

An awkward silence fell over us for a minute before Audrey regained her excitement. “Come on already! No more stalling. Let’s go!” She was grinning again. Reluctantly, she followed my advice and held tightly to me.

“All right.” Again, I started up the bike and pulled the clutches all the way in, this time. In a second, we were speeding down the street. It felt like we were flying at the speed of light, about to disappear into oblivion. It was amazing. I felt so free and I could tell Audrey did as well. I could hear Audrey whooping behind me, laughing like all her fears and problems were gone. For a split second, I turned to look at her. She was grinning at me and her hair was flapping behind her like ravens wings. She looked so alive.

It was over all too soon. “It’s coming up.” She had to scream to be heard. “You might want to slow down.”

“Ok.” I started to loosen my grip on the clutches, and the bike gradually slowed.

“This is it. Turn in here.” I nodded and pulled slowly into the driveway for a middle-sized house. I pulled my motorcycle to a stop and put my foot down.
We sat there for a minute, just thinking. I heard Audrey sigh, and looked over to see her smiling and taking in the night. She must have felt me looking at her and snapped herself out of her trance. She turned to me, embarrassed, looking at the ground. “Um…..I guess I’d better go.” She got off of the motorcycle, and I followed.

“Yeah. I guess.” I was flustered and embarrassed. For some reason it had taken me this long to realize that I had no clue what I was doing. With my occupation, I hadn’t really interacted with many people in a long time. Especially kids my age. Fortunately for me, It didn’t look like she had too much experience either. I guessed I’d just have to wing it like I’d been doing all night. I looked down. “But….Uh…..I had a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, me too.” She smiled then ducked her head. “Thanks, Eric. It was fun.” Suddenly, she grinned, gaining confidence. “Especially bugging ‘Mr. Pighead’.” She giggled.

I laughed out loud. “Did you see the look on his face?” I mimicked him, sticking a finger under my nose and sticking it up in the air, “Get out!”
She let loose a torrent of laughter, no longer so shy. I began to laugh too, my embarrassing laugh. I was snorting and laughing quite loudly.

“Anyways…..Uh….I guess I’d better go. Jessica will be worried.”

“Right.” I grinned at her. “Um…..Maybe….some other time….I mean….if you want….some other time…..something….” Hey. I never bragged being articulate.

“Yeah. A ‘something’ sounds great.”

We both laughed for a minute. “Well,” she said, ducking her head, “Bye, Eric. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waved and ran toward the front door. She opened it and was about to step in when she turned, waved, and smiled at me. Then she was gone and the door closed behind her.

“See you tomorrow.” I whispered, what was now to myself.

In a trance, I turned, got on my bike, and left.



Audrey


1

I closed the door quickly, leaning against the back of the door and sighing. The night was flashing in a blur across my vision. What had just happened. My thoughts were in a complete disarray and I longed to run to the confines of my room and try to set them straight. Annoyingly, Jessica didn’t seem to have the same plans as me. She ran down the hall looking groggy and tired, assumedly from her bedroom, to confront me. She was in her pajamas, and her curly auburn hair was in a tangle. “Where were you?”

“Jessica, please. You know I hate it when you do that. After all I’ve been through, you’d think I could take care of myself. Can you please save the interrogations for later?”

“Right! Sorry, Audrey. I know you hate that. I just worry about you. Look, I’m not making you tell me anything. But if you want to talk….”

I sighed. Jessica was always doing that to me. It’s my choice. But after all she’d done for me, I felt bad blowing her off. “All right. Can we at least go sit down.”

“Sure.” We walked toward the living room and I slumped on the couch. Jess sat down next to me and asked, “All right. Where were you?”

“It’s nothing. Really.”

“You don’t usually stay out this late. You don’t usually stay out at all, actually. You don’t get out much. Why’d you start now? You weren’t by yourself, were you?”
She got me there. Jessica’s got this annoying thing where it’s like she could read my mind. Who else would have guessed that? “Yeah.” I didn’t give anything away.
Jessica didn’t usually probe, but she was very curious. That was one of the things we had in common. So I could understand when she said, “And….?” Then she realized something and squealed. “Was it a guy!?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Jess could be an adult, and she could worry sometimes, but she tended to act a lot like a curious teenager. It made me more comfortable. I wasn’t generally as rude with her as most people. Well, I used to be, but I’m ok with her, now. Not that I completely trust her – I just don’t trust anybody – but I trust her more than anyone else. And she could understand how I felt about my father leaving. Her mother had left her, and then, three years ago, her husband had left us. She was a very comfortable, easy-going, and teen-like character, and she made me laugh.

“Yeah. But not like that.” I blushed. “He’s just a friend.”

“Eeeeeeeeee! Oh. My. God. Audrey!” She squealed, completely awake, now.

Sometimes I thought Jess was better at being a teenager than I was.

“Shut up, Jess,” I said, mockingly punching her arm. “Really. He’s a friend. He’s just a new kid in my class. I was showing him around town.”

“’Til midnight?” her eyes were raised, and twinkling quizzically.

“We got sidetracked.” I lowered my head, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up my neck, but she saw it and grinned.

She started chanting. “Audrey’s got her first crush. Audrey’s got her first crush.”

“Shut up, Jess!” I growled, and she stopped.

“So, what’s he like?” she was still grinning like a little kid. I sighed in annoyance.

She wasn’t going to let me off for this one, I could tell.

“He’s like a friend.” I snarled.

“All right. All right. Chill. But what’s this ‘friend’ like? What’s his name? what does he look like?”

I sighed in resignation. She really was way more of a teenager than I was. “His name is Eric and he’s a sweet guy. A little mysterious, but sweet. That’s it, all right? I’m not giving you any more information. He’s just a friend, so who cares?”

Jessica pouted. “Oh, fine. But what were you guys riding around town on all night?”

“His Harley.”

“His Harley!? Eeeeeeeeeeee! He has a Harley? That is so awesome. Audrey, I like this guy. I approve.” She joked, and then squealed again, excited. Jessica’s a bit of a thrill seeker, and she’s always wanted to ride a motorcycle. She teased me, “So, when do I get to meet this ‘friend’?”

“Uh….you don’t.”

“How come?”

“He’s just a friend.”

“Well, why can’t I meet your friend?”

“Just….no.”

“But_”

“No! I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” I ran up the stairs toward my bedroom, before she could say anything.

“Good night.” I heard her call after me as I slammed my door behind me. I slumped on my bed, thinking. Why had I acted like that? I wasn’t usually like that with Jessica. And why couldn’t Eric come visit? I mean, maybe it was a little soon into our friendship. But I’d said never. Why? It must have been that weird look in his eyes, every time I mentioned Jessica. I couldn’t quite place it.
Lying back on my bed, hands under my head, I realized I was wide awake and wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon. I was still hyper and excited from the night. Especially from the ride. Motorcycling had been even more fun than I had originally imagined. And Eric had been explaining me how it works. Maybe I could try riding it sometime soon. Aside from the ride, it had been fun. It had been a little awkward, though.

And, oh god, why had I confided in him like that? Why had I cried? Since when did I cry? I never let myself. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d let myself cry. It was weak. Sometimes, though, I did need to let it out. But, usually, I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to cry anymore. I didn’t generally show much emotion. I didn’t like it. It made me vulnerable, unless I could twist it to be used to my advantage. I had ruled out any type of weakness, years ago, when I was six. That was the year the kid that was my childhood stepped into the confusing maze of life, forever lost to me. Since then, I had learned to lock away my emotions in a box. I had lost that key long ago.

But now, meeting Eric, all that hard work seemed to be for nothing. My hard earned reserve had been thrown away in the blink of an eye. I didn’t know how it had happened. It confused and scared me, but there was part of me that didn’t care. Part of me just wanted to surrender and fall into the abyss of happiness that I had experienced tonight. What had happened? The night flashed across my vision like a film. What had made me act so different, so comfortable. So alive. For a moment, I hadn’t felt the numbness I was so used to. I didn’t know how he’d done it, but he’d left my mind was in a disarray.

I smiled, thinking about the fun I had had tonight. I hoped we could do it again, though I wasn’t going to tell anyone that. Especially not Eric. I was way too riled up to fall asleep, so I went to my dirty clustered wooden counter to find something to do. I looked up at my reflection in the mirror hanging over the counter. I had long black hair, which was messy from the ride. I had bright blue eyes. My figure was healthy, if not a bit strong. I wasn’t too tall, but maybe a bit taller than the average girl my age. I was a little shorter than Eric, though. I had been told I was pretty. I didn’t much care for looks, though. I was wearing all black, as usual. I turned away from the mirror, pushing things aside on my desk, looking for my sketchbook. Finding it under a pile of clothes and papers, I grabbed it, along with my ipod, and jumped onto my bed to sit back against the headboard.

Grabbing my sketchbook, I opened it to my last drawing, the one I had been drawing in art class. It was a picture of Eric. I grabbed a pencil so I could continue my drawing. Inserting the earphones in my ears, I turned the music on loud. It was Simple Plan. ‘Welcome to my life’.

To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

I could get that. I liked this song. I felt that a lot of it described me. It’s never very good when your life can be described by Simple Plan songs. No offence to Simple Plan. I loved their music. I definitely knew what it was like to be on the edge of breaking down. And to be alone and have ‘no one there to save me’. But maybe I did, now. Eric seemed to really want to help….

No! I would not allow myself to think like that. Dependency was so not my thing. I was not going to just let Eric save me. I didn’t need anyone’s help. I was a predator. I was so not the damsel in distress type. It made me laugh just thinking about it. Me? Someone’s prey? Yeah right. Anyone who wants to make me their prey can do it over their dead body.

My thoughts were now in a jumbled confusion. Did I want Eric’s help or not? Could I even let go enough to do that? I was a predator. I couldn’t do that. I didn’t know why I was even thinking about it. But part of me wanted to believe I could – wanted to trust someone. Maybe not completely, but I could use a bit of a rest. Maybe I should just let someone take the rains for a little bit. But, maybe I shouldn’t. I can’t it’d make me too vulnerable – too weak.

This was getting me nowhere. My mind was just taking me around in circles. It was late and I decided to leave the decision making for later. But I was still wide awake and knew I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. I grabbed my sketchbook and pencil and began to continue my drawing. Anything to get my mind off of it’s confusing wheel. I was soon lost in my music and drawing. I liked drawing. It was something I could control. With my often hectic life, I needed control. I hate people telling me what to do – not letting me have control over my own life. It was the one major thing that really bugged me. I couldn’t deal with people trying to control my life. It was my life. Who gave them the right to go messing with it? Definitely not me. After all those years when I was a kid, of doing everything my parents told me and pretending to be the perfect child, just to be let down and treated like scum, who could blame me for not wanting to listen to what people told me? So, I was purposefully rebellious sometimes. At least I had reason. I hated people who were rebellious just to seem cool, for no reason. You might not agree, but I felt I had reason enough. I didn’t know if I could take too much more betrayal or loss. Actually, I could more. I was a survivor. But it’d be hard. So, it was just easier to just close myself off. That was one of the reasons I was so rebellious. If I didn’t listen to people, and they didn’t like me, they’d eventually back off.

An hour and a half later, I finally came out of my trance. I had been drawing, but not really concentrating on what it was I was drawing. I couldn’t remember what I had drawn. I looked down at my drawing and started. It was a perfect drawing of Eric, with wings. Why had I drawn him like that? I laughed, shaking my head at myself. Confused minds had a weird way of working. I sat for a minute contemplating. Well, I guess that was kind of how I saw him – in a way. I mean, he was just so wild and free. Like a bird. It was like nothing I said could bug him. Like it didn’t matter. He had so much control. It reminded me of a bird. And I felt that he could just fly away or deal with any situation. I don’t know why I thought of him like that. I barely knew the guy. But I had just taken to him so easily. That had never happened to me. I guess it was how he spoke. Like, even after everything I’d been through, I could still deal. I could still make it through. Like I could still be normal. He just made it sound so easy. Like I was free to just be who I wanted and have friends, and it would all just work out. Part of me wished I could be as free as that. Part of me knew it couldn’t happen. Life wasn’t like that. I wondered if Eric had ever been let down. Was he naïve because he just hadn’t had anything to make him believe otherwise? No. He had mentioned going through some tough times. How could he still be like that after going through some stuff? Could he teach me? But what if he did teach me and I got hurt again? I would be vulnerable. I wanted to find more about this mysterious boy before I decided anything.

I lay down on my bed clutching my sketchbook and smiling. How could one person make me so confused – make me feel so many emotions? He confused and intrigued me. But I didn’t feel I could just pick him apart like I did everyone else. He was more confusing. Like a puzzle I had to put together. But I was missing a lot of pieces. I loved that feeling I had felt tonight. So alive. I had only ever felt that around him. Around Eric. He had intrigued me and I wasn’t giving up until I figured him out. Him. Eric….
Eric….


2

Beep, Beep, Beep!

I groaned and rolled over on my bed to slam down on the off button of my loud alarm clock. The lights in my room seemed overly bright this morning. I had fallen asleep in my clothes without turning the lights off. Despite this, I had slept unusually well. I groaned, trying and failing to get myself out of bed. Even though I had slept well, I was so not a morning person.

I managed to get myself to sit up and wipe the sleep out of my eyes, before jumping up and running to grab something to wear. It didn’t really matter. I grabbed the first things I found, lying on the floor of my room. It was a green t-shirt, a black hoodie, and a pair of army-style camouflage cargo pants. I threw them on and ran to the bathroom to brush my hair and my teeth. In a minute, I was grabbing my knapsack and running downstairs. I was running late, as usual. I called a quick goodbye to Jess as I ran out the door and down the street to catch the bus.


Rushing into class, I new I was late. Again. I had missed the bus and had to wait and extra twenty minutes for another bus to come. The buses were supposed to come every five minutes. Why were they always so freaking late?

I stopped by the door, and attempted to sneak, quietly, into art class. Ms. Williams had her back to me, and she wasn’t usually very attentive. But, annoyingly, someone did notice me.

“Oh. Look, Ms. Williams. Audrey’s here!” It was Charles Johnson. I was really going to have to teach that kid a lesson, at some point very soon, if he didn’t leave me alone. I stopped in the middle of the back of the room, letting my shoulders fall, and groaning.

“Ms. Canagan.” I did not like the evil smile Ms. Williams gave me as she turned around to look at me. That teacher really did not like me. Well, actually, she had told me I had talent, quite a few times. She liked my drawing. She just didn’t like me very much. I turned to look at the rest of my class, snickering at me. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who didn’t particularly like me. “What, may I ask, is your excuse, this time?”

“Uh…..” I searched around for a good excuse, coming up blank. “My dog tried to eat me….?” That sent the class into peals of laughter.

“That’s a new one. I should remember that one. I really wish you could use your imagination for something else, Audrey. Really, I do. Here.” She had filled out a detention slip, and she walked across the room to hand it to me. Grudgingly, I took it. “Now, go sit down.”

I went to sit down in my seat in the back of the room, noticing all too soon, what I had forgotten. Eric. I had forgotten he sat next to me.

“Hey.” He grinned as I sat down. “Nice excuse. ‘My dog tried to eat me.’ Where do you come up with these things?”

“Yeah.” I was a little out of it, thinking. And I was still kind of tired.

He yawned. “I’m so tired.” Then he realized it sounded like he was complaining and started stuttering. “I mean….not that I regret it, or anything…..I had fun….did you?.....I just…..I couldn’t sleep much…..I was thinking…..I_”

I laughed. “Yeah, I know. Me too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. Motorcycling is really fun. The adrenaline was great. And did you see that look ‘Mr. Pighead’ gave you?” I laughed.

He laughed, but I could here a bit of hurt in it. “Yeah, sure. That was fun.” Oh blah. I think he was hurt that I only cared about that. I had had fun with him. Really. He was nice. It was just, I wasn’t trying to think about that. I hadn’t really made friends with anyone in so long. I just wasn’t used to it. It was too all of a sudden. I was still too afraid. I wasn’t ready. But maybe I was willing to try. Taking risks was my thing. I wanted to take chances. Why not with this?

“And the company wasn’t half bad.” I said reluctantly, looking at the floor, and biting my lip like I always did when I was nervous.

He grinned. “You’re not very good with the compliments, are you?”

I allowed a reluctant smile to grace my lips. “No. Not exactly.”

He laughed. “Me neither.”

At that, I had to look up at him and raise my eyes. “You?”

“Yeah. You’d be surprised.”

“I can’t believe that.” I was cynical. “You’re one of the nicest people I know. You’re really friendly. And you weren’t exactly short of compliments last night.”
He blushed. “Well, you’d be surprised. I can be quite mean sometimes. And I’m not always friendly. I’ve needed to be very distant and stoic, at times. I’ve done bad things. Without meaning to or wanting to, most of the time. People aren’t always what they seem….” I could tell he wanted to say something else, but he turned away, uncomfortable. I wanted to ask what he meant but then I remembered what he’d said last night, about not pushing me to talk if I didn’t want it. I decided not to push.

“Yeah. I know. I kinda figured that out a long time ago.” I thought of my ‘friends’ from back in my days on the streets. Trying to force those thoughts back into my head where I could lock them away, I ducked my head, uncomfortable now. Even if I didn’t show it, I was still hurt from those days. Still hurt from a lot of stuff in my short childhood. Or maybe I’d never really had a childhood. Fate hadn’t given me that chance. But it made me stronger. I wasn’t complaining. I bit my lip, trying to be tough and hold back my feelings. But once you open up to someone, even once, it’s hard to go back. It’s hard to be the same. That’s why I didn’t usually like opening up to people. It weakened me. But, was that weakness? Maybe it wasn’t weak. I felt like it was, but maybe holding it in and building up anger to let out on people was weak. After talking to Eric, I wasn’t so sure. I was angry. He was completely messing up my hard-earned reserve. I was second-guessing myself. Why had he come so suddenly into my life? And why couldn’t I just tell him to go away, like I could everyone else? What was different about him and the rest of the world that I could just shrug away? I was so confused. I was out of control. I hated not knowing what I was doing. I felt like crying. Not that I would let myself. He seemed to notice my discomfort.

“Audrey? Are you all right? Did I say something?” God, why did he have to be so damn nice to me? I almost broke. I was blinking back tears and I wasn’t even completely sure why. “Oh, god. I did say something. What did I say? I’m sorry, Audrey.”

I couldn’t take it any more. There were too many emotions racking my brain. I didn’t know what was going on anymore. Blinking back tears I didn’t even understand, I got up and ran to the bathroom. I could feel my class’ eyes on me as I ran from the room, but I didn’t care. I burst into the bathroom door and put my hands on the counter, lowering my head. What was going on? I heard someone knocking on the door. It was a public washroom. Why was someone knocking?

“Audrey? Are you in there? Are you ok?” It was Eric. What was he doing here? I so did not need this right now.

“Eric, go away.” I threw the words out at him, trying to give them meaning. I wanted him to go away. Or was I lying to myself? Part of myself wanted him to go away and leave me alone for good. That was the stronger part. The part with my reserve. Probably, the part that had saved my life countless times. More than likely, the smarter part – the one I should listen to. But there was another part of me – one I had tried to lock away when I tried to get rid of my feelings – that was thankful to him. It thought he had opened up my eyes. Wanted him to be here. It was glad he was trying. I wanted to go with my reserve. It was smarter. I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I didn’t want to let anyone in. “Go away.” I repeated it. But I was only whispering it this time. He only just heard it.

He was adamant. “Audrey, look. I’m not going. Not until you answer me. Please just listen to me.”

“What do you want with me, Eric?”

“Nothing. But, what did I do? I….I can’t talk to you like this….can you just come out and talk to me?”

“No.”

“I just want to talk to you.”

“Too bad.”

“Audrey….” He paused, obviously trying to come to a decision. I heard the door opening slowly. I turned to face the door, appalled.

“What are you doing?”

“I need to talk to you.”

I almost laughed. “By coming into the girls’ bathroom?”

“Well, you’re not giving me much choice.”

True. But, still.

He slipped through the door and closed it behind him. He locked the door.

“You know, if you’re caught, you could get jailed for harassment or stalker mannerisms.”

“I know. But I’m willing to risk that.” He noticed my now tear-stained face, which I was angrily trying to wipe away. “Are you ok?”

“Do I look ok?”

“Right. Sorry. Bad question. Um….What did I do?”

“You really don’t know how to leave well enough alone, do you?”

“No, I don’t. can you answer my question, please?”

“No.”

“Oh, stop being so stubborn. Look, I care about you. I know I don’t know you that much and I shouldn’t say that, but it’s true. I want to get to know you. Please let me. Or at least just tell me what I did wrong. Please?”
I sighed. “I don’t know, Eric. I’m just confused.”

“So, do you want me to leave you alone? Break up our friendship and pretend that I don’t care about you?” He flung the words at me, obviously hurt.

I looked up at him. He really did seem to care. I decided to take a chance. For a split second, I broke my reserve, and looked into his grey eyes that were staring at me intently. “No.”

“Great. I’m in a world where the word ‘no’ counts as encouragement. Does that seem normal to you?” He raised his eyes at me, but I could see the laughter in his beautiful eyes.

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. It was hard to stay mad at him for long.

He walked over to me, his eyes locked on mine intently. I couldn’t look away. Reaching up, he gently wiped away an extra tear I had left on my face. Still entranced in his gaze, I didn’t take the involuntary step backwards that my reserve was telling me to take. I let my other side take over. But I was still scared. He felt me tense. “Sorry.” He recoiled, pulling his hand away. But he didn’t step back. And neither of us could break the gaze we were locked in. his piercing grey eyes were locked on my blue ones. I could read his thoughts, lost in those eyes. His eyes screamed predatory, but, behind that, I could see genuine kindness. Naivety, even. He knew he was playing with fire, here. He knew he couldn’t get too close to me before crossing the boundaries. Nobody could. But he was ok with that. If I needed space, he’d give it to me. But he wanted to try and push my limits. He was dancing with death. He knew it. And he enjoyed it.

We both jumped at the knock at the door. Still in a daze, neither of us reacted right away. Outside, there was a thunderstorm. I could hear the rain pattering against the glass windows. The static electricity in the air did nothing to help the tension between us. I could feel the sparks between us, raising goosebumps on my skin. Someone knocked on the door, again, startling me out of my reverie.
“Hello? Is there anyone in there? Let me in.” She pounded on the door.

Rushing to the window, I pulled it open, feeling the rain on my skin. It was cold and helped arouse me from my daze. “Eric. Get out.”

“What?”

I motioned toward the open window. “You have to go out through here.”

He nodded, getting it, and rushed to the window. He was agile, and quickly climbed through, onto the wet grass. The rain was pouring hard and, he was instantly soaked. Still holding onto the window frame, he turned to me, his gaze lingering a moment longer. “Bye, Audrey.” The fact that he had to stop to say bye when he was this close to getting in trouble made me laugh.

“Good-bye. Now go!”

He nodded, obliging, and I watched him race across the field. Halfway across, when I was about to turn away, he turned back to me. He was soaked, his hair and clothes clinging to him. I needed to strain to hear him yelling from that far, through the storm. “Does this mean you forgive me for whatever I did?” I had to laugh. He was ridiculous. He really was.

“Shut up. You’re crazy. Just go!” I had to scream to be heard.

I could see his grin, even from here. “I’m not going until you answer me. I can be just as stubborn as you, when I want.” I heard the thunder, close, and lightning struck, not too far away. I didn’t like that he was in the middle of an open field. “All right.”

“Say it.” He crossed his arms over his chest, adamant.

I rolled my eyes. “All right already. I forgive you, you dufus! Now go, before I come out there and make you!”

He grinned, then turned and ran off, disappearing around the side of the school.

Grinning, and shaking my head, I turned back to open the door for a now majorly pissed off girl. She ran in, pushing past me in her rush to get in. still grinning, I turned back to the mirror. I hadn’t seen that type of smile on my face for who knows how long. I guessed it was thanks to Eric. God, were my feelings mixed up. One moment I’m annoyed at him, running out of class, the next moment I’m feeling…..feeling…..what? I didn’t know. But I knew whatever it was, it was his fault. Maybe that was a good thing. I didn’t know. All I knew was this was going to be an interesting year.