Him..
When he tells me he loves me I always think to myself, Does he really love me? Did he ever care about me? If I were to die right now would he even care?? When we broke up it tore my heart in half, nothing is right anymore. It feels like he doesn’t care anymore, and that he doesn’t really love me and that he is just saying that he does. Like he is putting on an act. I wish that everything could go back to normal, and leave this mess. All I can think about is him, when ever I hear a slow song it ALWAYS reminds me of him. I miss him I miss being in his arms and being with him. I’m afraid he is going to find another girl that is better then me. Like one of my best friends. I know that I wouldn’t be able to see him with anyone else. Because I still have strong feelings for him. I know that my feelings will never change towards him. Thinking about all the memories we have had and knowing that that might not happen scares me. I cant see myself with anyone else besides him. I have never cared about anyone the way I care about him, I have never loved someone the way that I love him. I never really thought that I would feel this way about someone at this age because my parents have always said that kids at my age don’t know the meaning of love. But they are wrong. I know I love him. Because love is when you feel like you cant survive without that special someone. That how I feel towards him. No one will be like him, but I don’t know if he feels the same way about me anymore. I think his feelings for me has changed and that he doesn’t love me anymore. When I think about not being with him ever again I start crying because I cant picture not being with him, being away from him kills me inside. I hate this feeling, but I cant get away from it. I talk to him every night on the phone but it doesn’t feel right anymore, it feels like something is different. Its like he isn’t the same person anymore. He’s different. Everything about him has changed. but its not that I don’t love him anymore its just that he doesn’t treat me right that much anymore. He has no idea how much I love him and care about him, I would do anything to show that I love him and anything to be able to chare time with him. When I broke up with him for the first time I felt so bad. I couldn’t take it, I just felt so bad, then when I asked him back out he said no that I made the decision and I had to stick to it. I could tell by that he was the one who wanted to take a break from me, not me wanting to take a break from him. I still remember the first song that we have ever danced to. And how he held onto me like he loved me, like he would always love me, but now when he does it just doesn’t feel the same anymore. Its not the same anymore, and Im afraid it will never be the same anymore, and I will never be able to be held the same way buy him, making me feel like everything is gonna be okay when I know they aren’t, even though I don’t know if he means it I like hearing him say that he loves me, when he says that it makes me feel like there is a chance and that it gives me the chance to go on another day, I will always love him no matter what and even if he doesn’t love me care about me the same way as he did I will always know that we had something special and that deep down inside of him he still cares about me and loves me, even though he might not show it. I love him and I always will, I will never really feel the same about someone for a long time and I will not forget what we had and what we went through, and hopefully he wont either. I know that what we had was special and that it always will be special no matter what. He was my first true love and I know to me that first love never dies no matter how much I try I will always love him, and somewhere deep down inside of him he will love me too, and remember that I love him and will always care about him and be there for him when no one else is, because I love him and I always will.
