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I can't seem to start a new topic so I suppose this most recent topic asking if anyone is still lurking here on this forum is the next best place to post this. I haven't been lurking on this forum for a long time, I even lost the link here for awhile, but I needed to come back here one last time to set to rest everything which has taken place between all of us. I doubt I can make any sort of true restitution for all that has taken place, but I owe it you all of you, to myself and most of all to God to atleast attempt to set some things right, if by no other means than by assuring all of us that they are in the past for good.
For those of you who fear I'm some kind of Internet Boogey Man who will return one day to haunt you, know that I'm dead to that. I've deleted all my "War Files" and mostly lost all the tools I once used to hunt people down. You all saw me do it many times, find our enemies who thought they couldn't be found. Even after we parted ways I kept after a few of them and found some who we thought would never be found. But I no longer have any desire to find them... or any of you. I won't look for you or hunt you or find you. I don't see any reason for it. Wrath and revenge are not mine to take. I'm dead to that.
For those of you who are still hurt and offended by something I said, did or acted upon, I'm sorry. While it may never have been my intent to bring harm on you, and in the cases where it was it may have been that I felt it was for a greater good, I'm still sorry for the pain I caused, however small. Its easy to cause pain when you don't feel any of your own. But I'm dead to that now. I understand your pain and hope there will come a day when you won't have to feel it anymore.
For those of you who tried to understand and befriend me, I thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt when I didn't deserve it. Even after I turned many of you away you still listened to my words and tried to understand my actions. You are more forgiving men than I. But don't try too hard to understand my actions. I used logic and reason to solve problems and overcome challenges. And maybe there isn't anything wrong with that, but there also isn't anything RIGHT with it either. You can't find the strength to achieve eternal goals in worldly wisdom. That attitude harmed all of us, myself most of all. Now I'm dead to that attitude.
For those of you still playing online games, I ask you to reexamine what their role in your life has become. For me they became a distraction and a barrier to what I needed in my life the most. The idea that I had the strength in myself to overcome the corruption of an industry driven by the desire for profit at any cost was nothing but further proof of my failure and weakness. I choose to give video games up forever and now I'm dead to that lifestyle. You might want to consider the same course of action.
For any of you who still feel that you need to get back at me or hurt me in some way, I'm sorry for that attitude. I hope you can let it go. The person you will hurt most with that outlook on life is yourself. If you want to give it up, to become dead to it, then open your Bible to Romans 6:7-11 and make the choice to live again for something better, as I have.
For anyone who still feels like I didn't address some greivance which exists between us, I'm sorry. I can't offer much, except the assurance that I've changed and that the person you are angry with is gone... and never coming back. Don't let bitterness or hatred control you. You have a choice, only one, and you can be free from that. The anwser is in Romans 6:7-11.
Goodbye.
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Anyone?
