Duke Nukem Forever

High point of the game so far: punching an alien in the groin until it died. Duke Nukem Forever, ladies and gentlemen.

I wonder if this is just really dated 90's humor. Maybe if this came out on time it would have been the pinnacle of gaming.

(Probably not.)

I don't remember Duke Nukem 3D obnoxiously stuffing as many references to 69 and penises into the game as possible, nor do I remember Duke lamenting on how awesome Duke Nukem 1&2 were. Or the poor attempt at internet pop culture (You play Duke Nukem the arcade, a nice homage to the one in DN3D, but if you lose he says "I've got balls of fail!"). Or the giant space ship with the blurry, Halflife 1-era textures. Or the shitty weapons.

Your entire paragraph made me feel disgusted with this game, but this one line really sold me on hating it forever.

Okay. Maybe I've been too harsh. Now, I never beat Duke Nukem 3D (I was too young to play it when it came out, and watching play-throughs has always enough to satisfy my nostalgia-lust) so I can't exactly judge how the weapons feel or exactly how well the enemies were made. Even with the poor attempts at internet/sex references and embodying 12 years-worth of hype into the game, this is still Duke Nukem. I'm giving this thing a change. DUKE NUKEM!

To help fuel my tolerance of this game, I will be listening to a play-through of DN3D on youtube the entire time. Hopefully the nostalgia will be enough to take the edge off.

And you know what? Maybe "I've got balls of fail" was there as a self-deprecating element, acknowledging the overall failure of the DNF development.

Okay, this part was actually pretty fun. I was on a turret and I was shooting down the giant mothership. Pretty often an alien ship would try to drop off enemies, but that stopped after the platform was destroyed by the mothership, which was slowly destroying the building my turret was situated on top of. Ships would also fly towards me and try to shoot me with their lasers, which I had to destroy mid-flight.

See? Not so bad.

Now I'm all tiny and in an RC car! I'm doing sweet jumps over explosions while tiny!Duke talks with a squeaky voice.

If this thing had vehicle damage it would be even better.