Chapter One - Curse Of The Route Two Battles

Once upon a time, when those prehistoric Pokemon you now revive from fossils roamed the earth without having to be seeing the awful wallpaper of the Cinnabar Lab, the Devon Corporation, or the Oreburgh Coal Museum, people actually were smart… partially because Mew hadn’t thought of them yet.

Speaking of not-so-smart people, let’s zoom in on a certain wannabe trainer who was currently flipping his room upside-down, shall we?

“MOM!” the wannabe trainer who had no name as of yet cried, “WHERE THE HELL ARE MY RUNNING SHOES?!” A feminine giggle came from downstairs, which seemed to upset the wannabe trainer tenfold.

“Oh, those old things?” the trainer’s mother called upstairs to her only son. “I threw those out. You knew how many holes were in those things, deary… And anyway! With your saved money, I brought you a Squirtle doll!” The wannabe trainer who still did not have a name abruptly stopped rummaging through his crapload of items (I.E. Potions, Antidotes, a black leather trench coat, Pokeballs, a Meowth plushie, some Super Potions, a pairs of socks, et cetera) and groaned.

“Mom,” the wannabe trainer called downstairs. “My adventure of all time starts in about three minutes. HOW COULD YOU HAVE THROWN THEM OUT?! And how many times have I told you that I LIKE CHARMANDER ABOUT FIFTY MORE TIMES THEN SQUIRTLE!”

“Geez, stop hyperventilating, my boy,” cried a worrisome Professor Oak, who somehow miraculously entered the wannabe trainer’s room without his knowing. “Anyway… Ah, where’s that script…?” The wannabe trainer who had not a name rummaged through his things and pulled out a four hundred fifty-three and a half paged booklet labeled “SCRIPT FOR LEAFGREEN VERSION OF POKEMON.”

“Here you go,” the trainer told the Professor, tossing the older man the booklet. Flipping to the very first page, the Professor cleared his throat and started reciting from the packet of papers.

“The various buttons will be explained in the order of their-- Oh, wait, wrong page.” The Professor flipped to the fourth page now, and recited from there. “In the world which you are about to enter, you will embark on a grand adventure with you as the he-- WHERE IN MEW’S NAME IS WHERE I START?!”

“Seventh page.”

“Oh, alright… Ah, here we go!” The Professor cleared his throat and began his beginner’s rant of nothingness. “Hello, there! Glad to meet you! Welcome to the world of POKéMON! My name is OAK.”

“… No shit…”

“Be quiet, my boy!” The Professor slapped the wannabe trainer across the face, cleared his throat again, and continued to rant. “People affectionately refer to me as the POKéMON PROFESSOR.”

“What, as you rape their Pikachus and Squirtles? ‘Oh, yes! Oh, c’mon Sparky! Charge me up! Oh, oh, OH! Oh, yes Spar-’”

“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!”

“Yeesh, didn’t know you were so goddamn moody…” The wannabe trainer threw on his leather trench coat and sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. The Professor, for the fourth time in about three minutes, cleared his throat and continued on his rant of nothingness that everyone in the world of POKéMON has heard about fifty bajillion times.

“This world…” a Nidoran Female popped out from what was commonly known as a Pokeball, “… is inhabited far and wide by creatures called POKéMON. For some people, POKéMON are pets. Others use them for battle. As for myself…”

“… You rape them blindfolded. No wonder it’s a female…”

“DIDN’T I ALREADY TELL YOU TO BE QUIET?!”

“Sorry.”

“I study Pokemon as a profession.” The Nidoran Female re-entered its proper Pokeball, which wasn’t exactly its proper Pokeball because (unbeknownst to the rest of the world) it was now being chased around a barren wasteland by a Dragonite. It wasn’t her fault she was a female, it just ended out that way… “But first, tell me a little about yourself. Now tell me. Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?” The wannabe trainer glanced at the Professor oddly.

“Are you blind, old man?” The wannabe trainer asked, which earned him a slap across the face from the Professor. “Alright, alright. I’m a guy.”

“Let’s begin with your name. What is it?”

“Let’s begin? What are you on, methane or cocaine?” Glancing at the deadly look in the Professor’s eyes, he decided to rephrase those last two phrases. “Despite how much those two drugs so awesomely rhymed, for the sake of me sparing my liver from mass destruction, I’ll rephrase those last two phrases. My name’s Latham, dumbass.”

“Right… So your name is Latham.”

“Didn’t I just say that?”

The Professor cleared his throat yet again, and glanced at Latham carefully. “It’s for the three-years-olds who are somehow capable of misspelling their own name. You know, because they’re stupid like that.” Latham nodded, somehow understanding what the Professor was saying.

A boy who was younger then Latham by around five years appeared without notice in Latham‘s extremely messy and teenager-like room. “This is my grandson. He’s been your rival since you both were babies.”

“Really? Because I swear I’m about five years older then him…” Latham noted, earning him yet another slap across the face. “Alright, alright! Just get on with it, already…”

“… Erm, what was his name again?” The Professor questioned Latham, who glanced at the Professor in confusion. “Don’t look at me like that, trainer who has not a single Pokemon! Just… name the boy. He forgot too.”

“… Okay… Well, seeing as I don’t have a single creative bone in my body, let’s use the anime as a reference!” Latham turned the television in his room on to see two people and a Meowth on the screen as they sang a song usually called a theme song on most television shows.

“Prepare for trouble!
And make it double!
To protect the world from devastation!
To unite all peoples within our nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love!
To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie!
James!
Team Rocket! Blast off at the speed of light!
Surrender now, or prepare to fight!
Meowth, that’s right!”

“Hmm…Meowth it is,” Latham concluded, patting the newly-named Meowth on the back. The Professor scratched the back of his head after watching the Three Dunderheads Of Team Rocket sing their theme song for the fifty-one bajillionth time in his life.

“… Er, was it Meowth? That’s right! I remember now!” The professor snapped his fingers together as if he discovered a new planet or he discovered that Pluto was actually an ice dwarf and not a planet. “His name is Meowth!”

“Didn’t I just say that?” Latham asked quizzically, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he played hackie-sack with a Master Ball. The Professor slapped the wannabe trainer who had not a single Pokemon, then cleared his throat again.

“Latham!” the Professor roared demoniacally, causing Latham to shriek like a little girl and hide behind Meowth. A smile instantly crossed the Professor’s face, and Latham suddenly wondered if the Professor named OAK took his ADD medication this morning. “Your very own Pokemon adventure is about to unfold! A world of dreams and Pokemon awaits! Let’s go!” As a beeping sound erupted through his room, the Professor glanced at the script he was holding and sighed. “And here’s your script back.”

“Hey, thanks. I kind of needed that before, but whatever.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Latham somehow warped into Not-So-Much-His-True-Reality, he ended up in his room. For the second time. Except now, somehow, it was 100 percent clean and not like your average teenager’s room. “Damn, whoever managed to clean up my room in .5 seconds is really good…” The wannabe trainer went over to his computer and withdrew one whole Potion out of the 99 he had (because, you know, he has every bit of common sense).

He went downstairs to find out that his mother wasn’t being a complete retard in throwing everything in his name out, for she was actually being sincere.

“Right… All boys leave home someday. It said so on TV,” his mother said, yawning as she did so. Latham groaned, arching a brow.

“What were you watching this time, Doctor Phil or Oprah?”

“Both. And… Oh, Professor OAK was looking for you. He said that a pathetic person like you needed a Pokemon, like a Squirtle.” Latham’s eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.

“I. Hate. Squirtles. They can all go to hell,” Latham mumbled, walking a grand total of eight steps out of the house and slamming the door shut.

Noting that there were a grand total of two houses outside (and then noting that the other house was Meowth’s) and noting that there was a fat guy and a young girl with ADHD wandering aimlessly around, Latham actually was scared of pleasant, cute, and pretty Pallet Town.

Which is why Latham, the only known genius in all of the Kanto region, decided to make a run for it and escape Pallet Town. Sadly, Professor Oak ran out from absolutely nowhere and stopped the genius himself.

“Hey! Wait! Don’t go out there!” The Professor ran next to the wannabe trainer, who simply arched a brow. “It’s unsafe! Wild Pokemon live in tall grass! And why do look so familiar…?” The Professor cleared his throat. “Anywho, you need your own Pokemon for protection. Like a Squirtle, for example.”

“WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE AND SQUIRTLES?!” Latham roared, causing the fat guy to look over in their general direction and the ADHD girl to look away from the sign and play with a pink Butterfree. “I. Hate. Squirtles. Seriously, what‘s so great about them?”

However, Latham’s rant went unnoticed on the Professor’s behalf. “I know! Here, come with me! I think I have a spare Squirtle at my laboratory that can somehow hold every Pokemon on the face of Kanto!” And so, the Professor named OAK led Latham to his laboratory which happened to be four by six steps. Upon entering, Latham immediately noticed Meowth and his own age orange hair.

“Gramps! I’m fed up with waiting! … Speaking of ‘fed,’ I need my PokéChow,” Meowth cried, rubbing his seemingly-empty stomach. Latham arched a brow, yet again in confusion, as OAK gave his grandson a box labeled “PokéChow” in kanji with a smiling Squirtle on the front. “Yay! PokéChow!”

“Meowth? Let me think…” The Professor snapped his fingers together, as if he discovered that he was a complete and utter idiot. Sadly, this was a false hope that would never come true. “Oh, that’s right, I told you to come! Just you wait!”

“Damn…” Latham mumbled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trench coat. Meowth glanced over at his eternal rival with a mouth overflowing with PokéChow and made a noise that sounded like “Huh?”, but you never know with a rival named Meowth.

“Why do you get to wear a trench coat and have blond hair and look completely different from the sprite character for the LeafGreen game version?” Meowth asked, unaware that he had actually spoken a run-on sentence with a mouth filled with PokéChow.

“Because the author wanted me to look badass and not like… You know, pansy-ish. Like the main lord from that Fire Emblem game. Or you.”

“Oooh, okay.” And Meowth continued eating PokéChow.

“Here, Latham. A Squirtle, just for you!” The Professor threw a Pokeball at the wannabe trainer, who it completely passed and knocked Meowth unconscious while Latham’s eternal rival was eating PokéChow. “Mm… Alright, that didn’t work out so swell. How about a Bulbasaur? It rhymes with dinosaur!”

“No. I’ll take the Charmander and walk out all emo-style and shit. Just because the author wants me to,” Latham told the Professor, who shrugged and gave the teenager a PokeBall with a little sticker on it that was shaped like a Charmander. “Sweet. Now, let’s start this screwed-up adventure already.”

Meowth suddenly woke up as Latham was leaving and swallowed his PokéChow. “Sweet, a Squirtle! I’ve always wanted one of these! They’re so awesome!” Latham glanced at Meowth as if he was crazy, which he was.

“Not they’re not.” Latham answered in all the truth of the world. “Actually, when the author started the game with a Squirtle, she realized how much it completely sucked after she got the first badge. So she started a new game and chose a Charmander, which completely owned.”

“Nah-uh! Charmanders are way horrible! I mean, look at it! My Pokemon looks so much tougher then yours does!” Meowth scolded, pouting as he did so. Latham shrugged, not caring a single bit at what the great Professor’s own grandson cared about, and started walking away from Meowth. Meowth, noting this, called out to the badass trainer named Latham. “Wait, Latham! Let’s check out our Pokemon! Come on, I’ll take you on!”

“Considering that’s it’s in the script work for the game, I really don’t have a choice…”

--- BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

Professor OAK groaned, a hand running through his grayed hair. “Oh, for Pete’s sake…” Latham glanced at the Professor oddly.

“Who’s Pete?”

“Your mother, why?” The Professor cleared his throat. “Latham. You’ve never had a Pokemon battle before, have you?” Latham shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “A Pokemon battle is when trainers pit their Pokemon against each o--”

“Quit ranting and let’s just get on with it already.”

“Oh, fine! Don’t listen to the smart guy…” The Professor went and sulked in the corner of his laboratory, cuddling with the abandoned Bulbasaur that seemed to be choking from lack of oxygen. Latham sighed, calling out his Charmander .

TRAINER’S POKEMON -

Charmander
Male
Lv. 5
HP : 19/19

RIVAL’S POKEMON -

Squirtle
Male
Lv. 5
HP : n/a

“Well, that just sucks,” Latham mumbled. “I don’t even get to know my rival’s hit points?” Meowth shrugged, eating another handful of PokéChow.

“Look at it this way… I can’t see your hit point numeral, so that makes it even.”

“… Good point.”

Charmander used Scratch!
Squirtle used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!
Squirtle used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!
Squirtle used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!
Squirtle used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!

Squirtle fainted! Charmander gained 70 EXP. Points! Charmander grew to Lv. 6!

Latham defeated RIVAL Meowth!

“WHAT? Unbelievable! … But Squirtle still owns you all.”

Latham got $80 for winning!

“Hm! Excellent!” cried OAK, hugging his now-dead Bulbasaur. Latham glanced at the Professor and sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trench coat. “Battling other trainers will--”

--- END BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“… FUCK YOU, LISE!” OAK cried towards the ceiling, causing both Latham and Meowth to flinch from the loudness. Meowth ate another handful of PokéChow and Latham grinned in victory as he shoved his hands in his pockets for the umpteenth time.

“Gramps, who’s Lise?” Meowth questioned. As the Professor was about to answer, Meowth shrugged him off. “Ah, doesn’t much matter. I’ma go level on Rattata now, just because I‘m cool like that. Latham! Gramps!” Meowth went over to Latham and leaned onto him, inhaling his scent. “Ah… I’ll, uh… Smell ya later.” Meowth winked, coolly exiting the laboratory.

Latham glanced at the doorway, then at the Professor, shrugged, and went on his merry way, mumbling something about how pointless everything in the world is or something about how Rattata are the wimpiest Pokemon on the face of the planet next to Squirtle.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“FREEDOM!” Latham cried, entering Route 2 after seeing Meowth exit through this way. “Screwed-up adventure, here I come.” And thus Latham took a grand total of twenty-three steps before…

--- BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“Oh, for the love of…” Latham sighed, calling out his Charmander.

TRAINER’S POKEMON -

Charmander
Male
Lv. 6
HP : 20/20

WILD POKEMON -

Pidgey
Female
Lv. 3
HP : n/a

Charmander used Scratch!
Pidgey used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!
Pidgey used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!

Pidgey fainted! Charmander gained 23 EXP. Points!

--- END BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“Well, that totally sucked. More so then Meowth, thus saying that that’s… really… ba--”

--- BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“FOR THE LOVE OF MEW, DIDN’T I JUST FINISH A BATTLE!?” Latham screamed, scaring every Pidgey within a six step radius.

TRAINER’S POKEMON -

Charmander
Male
Lv. 6
HP : 14/20

WILD POKEMON -

Rattata
Female
Lv. 3
HP : n/a

Charmander used Scratch!
Rattata used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!
Rattata used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!

Rattata fainted! Charmander gained 24 EXP. Points! Charmander grew to Lv. 7! Charmander learned Ember!

--- END BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“Alrighty…” Latham sighed, looking towards his Charmander. “Looks like you’re staying out of the PokeBall.” The Charmander nodded in agreement, and the two went on their merry way towards Viridian City.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And so, Viridian City.” Latham said to his Charmander, sighing. The Charmander, after not encountering a single Pokemon after the second battle, went back into its PokeBall. “Alright, let’s just go to the PokeMart and do what we came here to do…”

And so, Latham accidentally made a B-line towards the Pokemon Center.

“Welcome to our Pokemon Center! May we heal your Pokemon to perfect health?” The Nurse Joy asked, smiling happily. A young girl (who looked like a Nurse Joy with bluish-green hair) butted in front of Latham, however.

“I want to become a Nurse Joy! … Except by the name of Nurse Margaret… But that isn’t the point!” Margaret screamed at the Nurse, pounding her fist onto the counter. Nurse Joy immediately roared back.

“NURSE MARGARET?! NAH-UH, I DON’T THINK SO!” Karate-chopping Nurse Margaret out of the Pokemon Center, causing a loud scream of “HOLY SHIZNIT MY HAIR!”, Nurse Joy immediately turned back to Latham and smiled happily. “Excuse that interruption, sir. Would you like me to heal your Pokemon to perfect health?”

“… Sure…” Latham carefully gave the Nurse his PokeBall, as to not upset her, and his Charmander, within less then five seconds, was given back to him.

“Your Pokemon are now in perfect health! Have a nice day!”

And so, Latham immediately ran out of the Pokemon Center, seeing absolutely no sign of Nurse Margaret. Latham whistled low, then smirked. “Well… Might as well go to the PokeMart.” And so, Latham actually entered the correct building this time around and entered the PokeMart.

“Hey! You came from Pallet Town?” asked the clerk behind the counter, which made Latham question the perception of some random people he hadn’t yet met and/or the fact that no one except he knew what was going to happen next, because people were so predictable.

“Erm… Yes? How did you know?” Latham questioned in reply, earning him a glance from the clerk in return. The clerk pulled out a booklet entitled “MY SCRIPT.”

“I’m just reading from the script, you know,” the clerk answered, “because only one person in the game has the mental capacity to enter and exit this place. Otherwise, we’re just another useless map in the system.”

“Ah… Got it.”

“You know Professor OAK, right?” questioned the clerk, looking at the few lines he had in the LEAFGREEN VERSION SCRIPT (of doom). Latham simply nodded. “His order came in. Can I get you to take it to him?” Without Latham’s answer, the item labeled OAK’S PARCEL somehow miraculously entered his backpack.

“Ack!” Latham cried, glancing at his backpack awry. “The hell is it?! It’s fucking heavy!” the clerk simply smiled at Latham , kicking him out of the PokeMart on a literal scale. “Argh… Why are people so fucking rude…? And why am I the only fucking genius in this entire fucking region?!”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Out on Route 2 yet again, heading in the complete opposite direction of everyone else, Latham actually thought that everyone was a retard. Not that it wasn’t false, but Latham was never outside of his room before today, more or less known at all.

--- BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“…” Latham gawked at the sight of the wild Pokemon before him. “I ONLY TOOK ELEVEN FUCKING STEPS! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Latham calmly called out his Charmander.

TRAINER’S POKEMON -

Charmander
Male
Lv. 7
HP : 22/22

WILD POKEMON -

Pidgey
Female
Lv. 3
HP : n/a

“Seriously, are they all level three…?”

Charmander used Scratch!
Pidgey used Tackle!
Charmander used Ember!

Pidgey fainted! Charmander gained 23 EXP. Points!

--- END BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“Well, that was--”

-- BATTLE SEQUENCE --

“WHY ME?!”

TRAINER’S POKEMON -

Charmander
Male
Lv. 7
HP : 19/22

WILD POKEMON -

Rattata
Female
Lv. 3
HP : n/a

Charmander used Ember!
Rattata used Tail Whip!
Charmander used Scratch!

Rattata fainted! Charmander gained 24 EXP. Points!

--- END BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“Finally,” Latham sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets while glancing towards his Charmander. “I was wondering when--”

--- BATTLE SEQUENCE ---
“… Nobody. Say. Anything.”

TRAINER’S POKEMON -

Charmander
Male
Lv. 7
HP : 19/22

WILD POKEMON -

Pidgey
Male
Lv. 3
HP : n/a

Charmander used Ember!
Pidgey was burned!
Pidgey used Tackle!
Pidgey was hurt by its burn!
Charmander used Scratch!

Pidgey fainted! Charmander gained 23 EXP. Points! Charmander grew to Lv. 8!

--- END BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“By every natural law Mew accounts for, am I seriously hated within society or something?” Latham asked his Charmander, who only shrugged and trudged alongside his master, who was rather PO’ed at the world he was forced to call home.

“Alright… We’re only three steps from--”

--- BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

“… I was going to say ‘getting to Pallet Town,’ but apparently Mew hates me.”

TRAINER’S POKEMON -

Charmander
Male
Lv. 8
HP : 17/24

WILD POKEMON -

Rattata
Female
Lv. 4
HP : n/a

“… SOMETHING THAT ISN’T LEVEL THREE! PRAISE BE TO MEW!”
Charmander used Ember!
Rattata used Tackle!
Charmander used Scratch!

Rattata fainted! Charmander gained 32 EXP. Points!

--- END BATTLE SEQUENCE ---

After that dreaded last battle, the two proudly walked three whole steps into their home filled with pretty pink flowers, happy oblivious-to the-world people, and pink Butterfrees with chainsaws and heavy metal guita-- I mean, antennae and fuzzy gray feet.

“Home sweet home…” Latham sighed. “They can all burn in hell. No, seriously. This town could make even a pessimistic psycho like Uchiha Itachi smile.” Recalling Charmander into his PokeBall, Latham simply waltzed his way over towards the laboratory known commonly as PROF. OAK’S LABORATORY.

“Ah, Latham! How is my old Pokemon?” cried the Professor, who was surprisingly happy. Because nobody was around bothering him or someone he knew of finally died, Latham hadn’t known. Glancing at Charmander’s PokeBall, he smiled. “Well, it seems to be growing more attached to you.”

“How in hell can you tell? IT’S IN A FUCKING BALL!” Latham roared. The Professor slapped the trainer, obviously annoyed.

“I’m following the Mew-damned script! SHUT UP BEFORE A SET A PO’ED PRIMEAPE ON YOU!” The Professor cleared his throat. “You must be talented as a Pokemon trainer.” Latham groaned, remembering he had something for the Professor. “What’s that? You have something for me?”

“… Can you read minds? You’re starting to scare me…”

“I already told you. I’m following the script. Now… Just shut up and give me the parcel.”

Latham delivered OAK’S PARCEL.

“Ah!” The Professor cried happily, holding it high in the air as a mysterious light shone onto it. “It’s the custom PokeBall! I had it on order. Thank you!” Latham, after hearing those words, fell to the floor.

“It’s a FUCKING POKEBALL?! Why in the hell that is the Kanto region did it weigh so Mew-damned much?!” The Professor slapped the trainer yet again, and cleared his throat. “Wow, two signature characteristics of a screwed-up OAK in one whole sentence.”

“Shut up, my boy!” the Professor slapped the trainer yet again. Suddenly, Meowth’s voice echoed throughout the laboratory, and OAK winced at the horrid noise.

“Gramps! I almost forgot! What did you call me for?” Meowth called, standing directly beside the badass whose name is Latham. Inhaling Latham’s scent, just as he had before, he sighed in relief. “You smell… like Ember…”

“Maybe it’s because my Pokemon just happens to be a Charmander.”

“… Nah… It’s… dreamy…” Meowth moaned, leaning against Latham, who suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. Sure, there were hints of… this… but he really hadn’t taken them seriously. “Ah, you’re so badass, Latham…” OAK, being the oblivious, decided to ignore the extremely-homosexual moment and continue on with the LeafGreen Version’s script.

“Oh, right! I have a request for you two.” OAK walked towards the desk three steps behind him. “On this desk here is my invention, the PokeDex!” Latham groaned, noting on the unoriginality of the name. “And now, they come in seven hundred forty eight separate colors! And you only have to pay five hundred fifty five payments of $19.95! Only for a limited time. Prices may vary according to region. No refunds, defunds, or funds in general. In other words, they’re completely FREE! Isn’t that exciting?!”

“… Right…” Latham mumbled, ignoring the overly-ecstatic Meowth to his left, who was completely hyped about the idea.

“Anyhow, it automatically records data on Pokemon you’ve seen or caught. It’s a high-tech encyclopedia!” The Professor cried happily. Latham glanced at the Professor oddly, continuing to completely ignore Meowth.

“But then why is it called--”

“Latham and Meowth. Take these with you.”

And then, against Latham’s will, he received a PokeDex.

“You must catch them to obtain complete data,” the Professor explained, almost solemnly. “So, here are some tools for catching wild Pokemon.”

And then, yet again against Latham’s will, he received five PokeBalls that were immediately placed within the PokeBall Pocket of his bag that didn’t exist. Latham glanced at the Professor oddly.

“You expect us to catch over three hundred Pokemon with five PokeBalls how?” Latham questioned. The Professor completely ignored him, however.

“In order to catch a Pokemon, fi--”

“Yes, yes, we know already. Can I just get out of this place? It’s too musty for me here…”

“FINE! DON’T listen to the expert of Pokemon, the most ultimate resource in Pokemon intelligence, the most…” And the Professor named OAK continued ranting on, hugging a still-dead Bulbasaur in a corner.

“Ah, sorry Latham, but you won’t be needed for this! I'll take care of the job all by myself, like a good little boy should!” Meowth patted Latham on the back, who simply groaned. “Hey, I know! I’ll borrow a Town Map from my sis and tell her not to give one to you! Don’t bother coming around to my place after this!”

Meowth, soon thereafter, left the laboratory, Latham following suit. “Huh…” Latham mumbled, noticing something odd, “He never said, ‘Smell ya later’… Ah, well. Doesn’t much matter.”

Now heading over towards Meowth’s house out of pure curiosity, he noticed that there was absolutely no bathroom, bedroom, or refrigerator within the entire whole one room. Daisy, Meowth’s sister, glanced at Latham awry, causing Latham to gulp.

“YOU!” Daisy roared, tossing a nearby television set towards the beginner, who barely dodged the sudden attack. “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?!” Latham gulped, purely scared for his life.

“I… came for a Town Map?”

“Oh, first my annoying twit of a brother, and now YOU? I’m not some living Town Map factory, you know!” Daisy roared, punching the table she was sitting at and breaking it in two. “Even though all I do all day is make them and put them in that closet that doesn’t exist… but that isn’t the point!”

“Er… Dare I ask, but what exactly is?”

“DON’T YOU ACT ALL COOL WITH ME, MISTER! I DUMPED YOU SIX MONTHS AGO!” Daisy roared, now throwing a plant at the badass and seemingly-player named Latham. He simply stared wide-eyed at the girl who is usually known for being extremely calm.

“We… were going OUT?! WHEN?!” Latham asked, delirious at the fact that she was currently crying a river. “… Oh, wait. You’re that whore I got pregnant, aren’t you? The one in Saffron City that I haven’t met yet?” Daisy nodded, bawling in a nearby corner. “Alrighty, then…”

He slyly snatched the Town Map from directly under Daisy’s nose and made a run for it, directly out of Pallet Town.