QSXtreme - KillTheCan.org Online Community -> Dichotomy of the Quit

Dichotomy of the Quit, By: cdforecheck

Track this topic | Email this topic | Print this topic

iuchewie

Posted: Nov 4, 2009, 8:05 am

Resident Geek

Group: Admin
Posts: 20,334
Member No.: 5
Joined: 20-November 06

QUOTE (cdforecheck @ Nov 3, 2009, 7:40 pm)

during my lurking hiatus over the weekend i wrote this...maybe smokey is right i need to find my voice...my quit is solid right now and i am getting into the rhythm again...the hubbub of the HOF has faded and i now feel re-energized...enjoy

Dichotomy of the Quit

I hate quitting. I hate that I have to constantly keep my guard up. I hate that friends offer me the one thing I cannot have. I hate seeing new quitters come in here with the same arrogant and cocky ideas about much tougher they are than this addiction only to cave in a week. I hate that so many people have to be here. I hate that I ever put that crap in my mouth. I hate the fact that my own son wrote his D.A.R.E. essay about my addiction 3 years ago and my youngest son is working on his D.A.R.E. essay about my addiction. I hate wanting. I hate craves. I hate being nearly 41 and throwing this kind of tantrum.

I love being quit. I love staring down threats to my quit. I love telling my friends, no thanks when they offer me a dip. I love seeing new quitters that have their shit together, ask for help, and have fun and realize that this is serious shit, a matter of life and death. I love that so many of us give freely of ourselves to work our quits and help others work their quits. I love that I don’t need that crap in my mouth to feel normal. I love that my son is writing his D.A.R.E. essay on how proud he is that his dad quit. I love that only wanting is there, not the need. I love craves because they show that I am in recovery. I love being nearly 41 and not hiding these kinds of thoughts anymore.

--------------------

"Every man dies... not every man really lives." - William Wallace
"Now that I've quit, I'm really living.' - iuchewie
QD - 7.24.06 / HOF - 10.31.06 / 2nd Floor - 2.08.07 / 3rd Floor - 5.19.07 / 1 YEAR - 7.23.07 / 4th Floor - 8.27.07 / 5th Floor - 12.05.07 / 6th Floor - 3.14.08 / 7th Floor - 6.22.08
8th Floor - 9.30.08 / 9th Floor - 1.08.09 / Comma - 4.18.09 / 11th Floor - 7.27.09
Episode III: The Final Quit

1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)

0 Members:

« Next Oldest | Words of Wisdom | Next Newest »