CYOA - Cogito Ergo Sum

[Xartarin]

You wake up one morning to find that you are in a hospital. You do not remember anything. You have no idea what your name is, why you are in a hospital, or if you're supposed to have arms on both sides of you or not.

The fact that you are a small girl surprises and somewhat disappoints you. For a few brief moments, you believed you were a squirrel.

There is a nagging feeling in your mind that you should have some kind of name to call yourself, to differentiate yourself from objects and other people (if there are any) around you.

So, what should you start calling yourself?

[Star Kirby]

Aki-chan.

Or uh, "Missy" or "GenericProtag1" or something... /so imaginative.

[Chocolate Kirby]

Demo?

[Aki]

...Oh, nonono, you should most certainly call yourself Star. *shifty eyes*

[William]

Let's gor for the middle ground and use Star-chan.

Also, explore surroundings.

[Rick]

Star-chan, why not.

Examine your inventory.

[Star Kirby]

:/

[Xartarin]

How decisions will be made: In cases like name-choosing, I'll use a random number generator unless multiple people come up with the same name.

For actions, the actions will happen in the order people post them.

When decided between several options, it will come down to the vote.


> Name = Star-Chan
Your name is now "Star-Chan"! Or at least, that's what you're calling yourself now. To celebrate, here's what you look like:

The fact that your shirt has an arm-hole with no arm in it still worries you, but it's probably best not to sweat the small stuff like that right now.

> Explore Surroundings
You decide to look around the room to see if anything is useful. The left wall is blank.

Here is the right wall. Someone left the sink running! How careless.
There appears to be some things on the counter: A pair of scissors, a scalpel, and a roll of surgical tape.

This is the wall you are facing. There is (1) corpse and what appears to be a window, but upon further examination is just painted onto the wall.

> Examine inventory

You have (1) Bear/Pig doll and (1) Letter that you can't seem to read.
You have no idea what this window is, how it got here, where it is, or how you can hold a letter and bear/pig doll when you don't have any pockets. Such is the way of the world, you assume.

> :/

You don't know what that means, so you stay put- Who the heck is that!?

Some stitched-up nurse passes by your room in the hall. She is wheeling some kind of small cart. The cart has a glass jar with a pink spongy thing in it, and something that looks pretty similar to your left arm.

What do you do now?

[Star Kirby]

Go after the arm, of course!

...After you turn the sink off.

Also take everything by the sink.

[Rick]

Use the surgical tape to combine the scissors and scalpel into a superweapon.

[Xartarin]

> Turn sink off

As the nurse walks away with your arm, you make sure to turn the sink off. Not wasting water is more important than recovering your lost limb, after all!

> Take everything by the sink

You acquired a pair of scissors, a roll of surgical tape, and a scalpel! It's a good thing you don't remember that stealing is wrong, or this might be a bit awkward.


> Go after the arm

You head WEST down the hallway outside your room, and see that the nurse has somehow managed to head down a small flight of stairs with the cart. How did she do that? Regardless, you pursue her while trying not to make a lot of noise.


Damn she's fast! By the time you enter the room, she's already exited through a door to your WEST. It's closed, and locked.


The door slams and locks behind you, closing off your entrance to the EAST. Frick! Now you're trapped.

> Combine Scissors and Scalpel

You got the "scalplissors"! You're not entirely sure why you did this.


You are in a room. There are doors to the WEST and EAST but they are both locked. There is a cart containing a brain in a jar and an arm. What do you do now?

[Rick]

Use surgical tape to restore your arm to its rightful place.

While you're at it, use the scalplissors to liberate the brain from its glass prison. It'll make a good flail, and as anyone who's played a Mana series game knows, flails make awesome secondary weapons.

[William]

Don't damage the brain! Use the scalplissors to perform surgery on the Bear/Pig doll and implant the brain in it. Then have the doll read the letter.

[Star Kirby]

Try picking the lock of west door with the scalpel part of your...scalplissors.

[Aki]

EAST and WEST are for losers. Head towards DENNIS. That is, once you've gotten ye flask.

Alternatively, combine the scalplissors and the brain to create a pair of scalplissors on a brain. So you can sort of flail it around and it'll be like running with scissors except also with a scalpel and okay I'll shut up now.

[Xartarin]

> Use surgical tape to restore your arm to its rightful place.

Upon further inspection, you discover that this isn't even your arm. What a rip-off!

This is stupid.

> Use the scalplissors to liberate the brain from its glass prison.

Try as you might, you cannot break ye flask! Whoever made this jar wasn't kidding around. If they were, there would probably be penises drawn all over it.

> Use the scalplissors to perform surgery on the Bear/Pig doll and implant the brain in it. Then have the doll read the letter.

Somehow you're able to install the brain into the doll, and you give it the letter. However, it has no mouth and cannot read it. You're not sure if you remember English anyway.

> Try picking the lock of west door with the scalpel part of your...scalplissors.

The doors open using numberpads. However, you roll a natural 20 and successfully pick the lock!

FLAWLESS VICTORY! The door is now open! Not that you could tell from the picture.


> Head towards DENNIS.

Now that you have ye flask, it is now safe to proceed towards Dennis. However, he is nowhere near you and you don't know where he is! However, it is important to note that he is wearing a sporty frock coat and a long jimber jam, whatever that is.

> Alternatively, combine the scalplissors and the brain to create a pair of scalplissors on a brain.

Mr. Bear-Pig dies instantly. MR. BEAR-PIIIIIIIIIIIG!!!!!


The door to the WEST is open and you can now escape! However, young Star-Chan isn't the only person of importance here. Before we continue any further, attention must be paid to another patient in this hospital...

You've been awake for a little bit, but only now after the doctor has gone have you stopped spacing out. You still have your memories, but they're a bit inaccessible at the moment. You see, a wicked nurse has absconded with your brain! You now find it hard to concentrate and make decisions. If only some smart, handsome people from another dimension could guide you!

There are a pair of shades and (3) syringes on a nearby counter. However, first thing's first. You must try and guess what name you have! You'll probably be wrong, but who cares?

[Star Kirby]

Ah, switching characters? Let's call him... Conway! /random

Put the shades on, take them off CSI style, then put them on again. Take the syringes but don't use them yet.

[William]

Conway, huh? Well, I'll go for something as random: Harry. Which is short for Harrison McStewart van de Houston.

Examine your surroundings, then remove "Happy" poster and roll it up to use as a blunt weapon. Open inventory.

[Rick]

Conway's going need his fix; grab those syringes and see what's in them. If it's clear, jam it in, what harm can it do?

[Xartarin]

> Let's call him... Conway!
Your name is now Conway..... McStewart van de Houston.

> Put the shades on, take them off CSI style, then put them on again.

You put on the shades, but they don't seem to raise your COOLITUDE stat. Maybe if you have enough cognizance to keep your tongue in your mouth...

> Take the syringes but don't use them yet.
> Remove "Happy" poster and roll it up to use as a blunt weapon.
> Open inventory.

You now have (3) syringes, (1) rolled up poster, and (1) letter. Somehow you're able to read the letter, despite being dumber than a sack of hammers.

> Examine your surroundings.

There's really nothing of importance here, so- Hey, who's that heading WEST down the hallway? Probably no one important.

> Grab those syringes and see what's in them.

All of the needles are empty, and therefore clear.

> If it's clear, jam it in, what harm can it do?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!!!
Holy FUCK that smarts!