Fuck.

Yes.

Oh, I'm sorry, but... that's not my name. What is that doing here?



That's much better, thank you.



So advanced! It really is amazing how much video gaming has changed since the 1900s.




Well, now that those things are all out of the way, it's time to enjoy a nice evening of video gaming with the quality entertainment of "Hatoful Boyfriend".

Hold onto your hats! This roller coaster is a bumpy ride wheeeee!

How fascinating. It appears this game involves... some kind of birds?

The plot thickens.



My my, what a strange world this game takes place in!




And you won't get to hear it.




:O

A new character.



Am I a whole hour late for school? How dreadful.



What a good friend.



I do love me some interior meats.



How incredible to be put into the shoes of a character as fascinating as Boobs Darwin.



Starvation is terrible.



JEEPERS.

How splendid!



I am not a bird!



Seems so.



How wacky!



Inspiring words.



A mysterious transfer student!?!



WHO COULD IT BE

THE PLOT THICKENS



WOAH

DEM TAILFEATHERS



An excellent point from our plucky protagonist, miss boobs.



I think I peed myself a little.



Swoon!

And so ends our first little look into the world of "Hatoful Boyfriend". I sure hope you're enjoying this game as much as I am! Stay tuned for more of this wonderful adventure.

Welcome to a new "episode" of the Japanese visual novel "Hatoful Boyfriend". Things have been going smoothly so far.



It's always important to return books on time! A valuable lesson.



The plot thickens.



This visual novel sure knows how to put on the suspense! I'm excited.



Ah, a new character. How interesting!



He is a shy character.



How suspicious. Perhaps he is a villain?

A ne'er-do-well, if you will.



Oh! Recall that Boobs is currently carrying some overdue books.



I appreciate how the game puts these gestures into words. Remember, "Tell, don't show!" This game was well-written.



It appears we get a pink flowery title card for all of the main characters.



How cold.



Gasp! Another scene with that troublesome fantail, Sakuya. We'll see what he's up to in just a bit!

A dramatic turn of events! This pigeon..... is Sakuya's brother??



How tragic. Family should stick together!



A dramatic turn of events! This pigeon...... is a racist??



Maybe they had some kind of falling-out in the past.



Everyone loves gossip.



Amazing! Our protagonist can speak in emoticons!



Swoon!



Another fantail. Makes sense, since he's Sayuka's brother.



Yes, I am Boobs.



How philosophical. Truly a wise fantail.

Our protagonist then asks why Sayuka asks like an aristocrat.



He speaks French!

Our protagonist heads back to class. Ryouta is not there. Mysterious.



Oh no! Perhaps he was injured in some way?

Maybe a villain is afoot!



Oh. That was probably it, then.



How curious!



Boobs! Drugs are bad for you!



Gimme the news!

I got a

BAD CASE

of loving you!

Huh, why did I say that? Strange.



How nice of him!



Of course, our protagonist politely declines. Drugs are bad.



Seems like a gentleman.



Our suspicions were correct, it seems.



It's rude to bother people.



And so we leave the infirmary! Infirmaries and the such can carry diseases. It's good not to stay in one unless you have a good reason.

In our next installment, our protagonist meets quite the unusual character! Stay tuned, Hatoful Boyfriends!

It's fun to participate in school clubs! I myself was in several, and I especially enjoyed the Rock Climbing, Oceanography and "Japanimation" clubs. Good times!



Birdwatching is a fun activity, and educational too! It's good to know about different kinds of animals.



Track is fun too. It's good to run regularly. It's good exercise and good for your heart too!



Boobs Darwin is a sociopath.



We're at the track now.



It appears this man speaks some kind of other language! How intriguing.



Swoon!



Pudding is people too, you know.



Another fantail? Interesting.



Providing food for your club is very polite!



How imaginative!



Boobs Darwin is likely a fighting or plant type human.



I sure wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of Okosan's wrath! What a fierce opponent.



The journey of a true warrior.





What an eventful day. Our next installment will be a short one, but stay tuned! It's a very important scene, you see.

Democracy is important! We certainly wouldn't want to be like China.



Sports are also important.



One unique thing about this visual novel is that many choices like these will affect the outcome, and there is even more than one ending! This is an important decision, but I'm leaving it to you (yes, YOU), the viewers! Please vote on which club our dear protagonist Boobs Darwin should take. Choose wisely, this may affect the entire story of the game!

I doubt you'll keep track of all of the responses.
Oh god I'm so lame.

What, you can't joy the birdwatching club? BLASPHEMY
Do the second best thing, then: STUDENT COUNCIL

Doctor seems sketchy, library seems boring, and I don't think pigeons can run very well with their legs. So, student council, go!

The people have spoken! We're going to join the student council. Fitting, considering the democratic forces at play within this very Let's Play.



Elective courses are a minor choice, since they apparently just improve some stats, so I'll leave stuff like that to the IRC room.



This scene shows our plucky hero has dreams and aspirations. Good for her!



Training your Boobs is important.




Saucy.





Exposition is important.






Another decision for the chatroom.




Seems sinister. Maybe he's the villain?



You can just see it in his face.



We also live in a cave.



Exercise is important.



Always be prepared! Unfortunately, this game does not give us the option to select our equipment. How sad.



This sounds like a decision that will be very important! Probably one that decides which lucky bird we go out with.

To recap, Ryouta is our childhood friend, Sakuya is the french guy, San is the athlete and Kazuaki is the teacher. Who should we talk to, Hatoful Boyfriends?

Don't be a dick, talk to your old friend.

Hang out with a dick, talk with the French guy.

Haven't seen Ryouta since the first couple days, so let's go catch up.

We've chosen to talk to our old pal Ryouta.




Boobs is not a kind of lu- oh wait, that's our name.



I don't even know what that is.





This concludes the school trip. Ryouta is such a good friend.




Absolute poetry.



A ptarmigan is a kind of bird.



That one, specifically.



Sakuya sure takes his music history seriously. He can't be the villain, then.









This is probably like the previous choice in that our decision affects who we end up with. Choose wisely!

Remember, Yuuya is Sakuya's older brother, and there was a boy in the library as well.

3-legged race
I mean, imagine a human and a bird doing it. Absolutely graceful, I'd imagine.

Chocolate Kirby, I would like it if you would keep such filth out of my topic. It is not appreciated.



Another Ryouta choice. Do I sense our audience has a little crush?




Oh, mister Ryouta!




It's times like these that make me wish this game had animated cutscenes.



Good for us.



Aren't we in sophomore year?



Come on, be confident, Boobs!





Nevermind....



Maybe HE'S the villain?





How interesting. I wonder what this could be about.







I mean, come on. It's Brian.







This is an actual blog! I highly recommend reading it, as Brian is a very good writer. It is quite the entertaining site.



Confidence!



So many choices! Looks like we're up for another round of FREE WILL in this crazy game!

Cafeteria. Food. What are you waiting for?

Woo, taking things out of context!
It seems in your natrue to go to the cafeteria. Fatty.
Also, if I'm not on mIRC when the chance comes along, put me down for a vote to go to Math class if it comes up again. You can't fail!

The cafeteria it is! As a hunter-gatherer, it is important that we keep our nutrition.



I do not understand this meal.



Who could this be???



Oh, it's that guy.



He's here too.





RAGE VOLTAGE is dangerous!




What an intense situation!

WHAT DO WE DOOOOOOOOOOO?

We can withstand the RAGE VOLTAGE as we are not a pansy bird (right?)! Help him and laugh at his emasculation!

Yeah, lend Ryouta a hand.

Such drama!




We are victorious!





It's good to help out friends!






This is such a high quality school.






Wishes are not real.




Two things? I see Ryouta has a greedy side.



This is Japan, these notes are supposed to be in English.




All lovely wishes! What choice should our plucky protagonist make?

Shadow Prime Minister of the New World Order is an awesome title, you know what you must do.

Walk home with him, eat him for dinner.

You never know, he might be one of those creeper teachers...

Go with him, what's the worse that might happen?

What could go wrong?



Is the teacher homeless?



Does he now?



yes.



Huzzah!

This is clearly a very important aspect of the game!



Well he doesn't SEEM that sure.



"Uuurgh" is the sound that fine people make!



Oh yes, the completely innocent infirmary!







That is a fine way to march!



Hello!



Yes, I agree.

He looks much worse.

I mean just look at him.



Confront the perfectly innocent doctor? Or stay here?

The choice is yours, Hatoful Boyfriends!

What could possibly go wrong? Shout that fucker down and crush his bones with your magnificent hands!

Let the doctor feel the wrath of a teenage girl attending school with pigeons.

YELL

Sure, #1.

It's time to stick up for our friend! Let's go complain to the nice doctor.



Gimme some news!



Cutting right to the point.



Something.... sexy?



This is getting saucy.



Look at his cold, logical eyes. Truly this is an unbeatable opponent!



Time for INVESTIGATIONS!



What a nice doctor!



And now for something completely unrelated.



What a jerk!

I think HE'S the villain, you guys!



Oh no! He's angry!

Can't you see how angry he is, you guys?



To be fair, I don't think a pigeon is physically capable of doing any of those things.

Boobs is kind of a jerk for expecting him to be able to help, really.



What do we do, you guys??

On one hand, standing up to him will help teach him to stop being such a douchebag.
But on the OTHER hand, Xar is very much right. A pigeon can't do those things!

Eeeeh, I'll go with the illogical former.

Make him work! Make him work!

Why bother, he'd probably mess something up and whine about it like the little bitch he is. Do the job like the superior, opposite-thumbed species you are!

He can work... as your featherduster.

He's amongst the proletariat now, he damn well better get used to it. Make the fucker work.