Hi my names Sita, I know a few of you on the roster and Neil who said I should post a sample of my work because I am wanting to come on board. Please forgive it for being rusty, I have not wrote properly appart from co-writing Blakes recent RP in nearly 18months. I welcome any feedback, this is na new style for me to be writing in so again forgive any errors and I welcome any advice you may have. So yea I hope you enjoy and it is not to horribly painful to read.
Sita Forgive and Forget or Payback: I know what I choose!
Once more the time had come to rejoin the masses to open my eyes to the bright startling world and follow the calling I had locked away from myself for over eighteen months. I was born into a role you see, some people are; I was born to be fighter, I’d had no say in the matter it was a gift betrothed to me from a higher power; one which over the years had caused me bitter heartache and the sweetest of highs few could even begin to comprehend. People say time changes us, that time is a healer of all wounds and that time makes the heart grow fonder. Time had changed me, time had healed parts of my body but my heart was still the same as it had been for many years; battered, broken and cold. I was still the same girl at heart that I had been at the age of 16, only I was wiser, more powerful and determined than ever.
As the city lights flickered past my window I took a deep breath and let it out against the cool glass causing it to fog over with condensation. Lifting one of my delicate fingers I pressed it lightly to the glass, dragging it across the cool foggy mist and muttered to myself…“Please let me find the strength and courage within to stand tall and proud, just give me this one last shot…please!”
It was now or never; and if I was quite honest with myself part of me was rather content at the never aspect, but if I didn’t try I would never know. It would forever eat away at me and that was something I simply could not live with. I was not someone who backed down from a fight, that’s not what fighters do. I had to battle on there was no other option. Over the past eighteen months I had silently picked myself back up and pushed this world as far into the darkness as I could. But I had a point to make to those that had doubted me, those who had betrayed me and to those who I had let down.
Today was the day when Cady Coleman was born again; today was the day I began on the journey back into the light and into the world that had nearly destroyed me.
“Miss Coleman your phones ringing”
Snapping my head away from the glass and back to reality the ringing of the phone suddenly registered to my ears. Rummaging through my overly full handbag I located the phone amongst the rattling bottles and brought it to my ear. Closing my eyes once more I leant back against the cool leather headrest…
“Hello Cady here”
“Well, well so is it true is the prodigal Cady Coleman really returning or is this just some publicity stunt?”
A sly smile spread across my rose red lips, biting down upon the supple flesh I could feel that old familiar feeling as the adrenaline and excitement coursed it’s way through my blood…
“Sweetheart do you think I would pull such a stunt?”
Laughter crept down the phone line and into my ear, a laugh I had missed over the past year. It finally began to feel real and the rush that the feeling of complete fear sent through my body was the best kick I had felt in a long time…
“Ahhhh Cady we both know these kind of stunts are your speciality, make the men gag and drool then destroy their hope. Seriously is any of it true? The buzz is your joining PWA which I find hard to believe because he’s there!”
Yes him, how could I forget. What people seemed to forget was that I was not some girl he could just toss aside when he was done. His actions would come at a cost. Sure it had been a while but as some people say absence makes the heart grow fonder I would say the opposite absence makes my heart grow colder and darker. His time was coming he would see…
“Some of it is true yes, I am in talks with people so we will see and he is nothing to me now he will not rule my heart or my life any longer. I finally feel like I’m ready to fight this head on, it’s been long enough.”
“Did you ever tell him about the you know what?”
My eyes suddenly snapped open and focused in on the dark headrest in front of me. Wide and startled I found it impossible to blink, to move, to breath as I thought back to that time… 14 Months Earlier. “Miss you need to come down from there before you hurt yourself!”
Laughing I took another swig of vodka from the nearly empty bottle, swaying slightly with one foot on the narrow ledge.
“What you think I’m up here for a social event you idiot; why do people usually get obliterated out of their minds on booze and come to a ledge? I can tell you it ain’t for the scenic view cause to be honest I’m so bloody drunk I can’t see the bottle properly!”
Laughing again I swayed a little more and unsteadily brought the cold glass bottle to my lips and drained the last of the bottle. Huffing in annoyance and surprise at it’s rapid depletion I lent over the edge and let go. The bottle fell silently in the darkness until it reached it’s destination some seconds later with a loud smash. Hiccupping I lifted my hands up and lent my face into them, sighing I lifted my head back up and looked round at the man behind me.
“Why are you even here?”
Seriously why was he here, AGAIN. He never remembered, every time he was here he never fucking remembered.
“Because it’s my job to save people and also you made such a racket coming up here that you woke half my building up so I felt obligated to come and tell you to shut the fuck up. But now we are here such a message seems rather pointless, why don’t you step away from the edge, I’ll make you some tea and toast, sober you up a little bit. Then if you still want to jump perhaps you could be so kind as to lie to my face tell me I’ve changed your mind and go find yourself another building, you know ease my conscience and all that, what you say?”
Laughing I shook my head, god that last mouthful of vodka had parched my mouth of all liquid and normality and now I felt rather nauseated, moving my head had not been a good move.
“You know your madder than me, why don’t you join me?”
“Naa your ok, I’m a firm believer that life is worth the struggle, please could you reconsider using this building to aid in your death? What’s so special about this building anyway?”
“Nothing, I live here so yeah…”
“Wait you live here? No you can’t, I would have noticed a beauty like you…”
“I do live here, apartment 8A, have done for about a year now, I just don’t get out that much!”
“My names Gray Williams, I live in apartment 6B and have done for about 9 months…what’s your name?”
Muttering quietly under my breath I curse myself and turn away from him. I took a deep breath of the crisp night air, slowly and rather clumsily I tried to lift my other foot up onto the ledge. I guess we where going to be playing this game again, I think it would just be easier to play along, end it all quicker you know, but damn the last of that vodka was a mistake.
“Cady, I recognise that name…”
“Ever follow wrestling?”
“That’s it, god my step brother has the hots for you wait till I tell him I met you!”
“You know what your far to chipper for someone who is about to watch a girl kill herself! Well adios!”
As I lunged my foot up and stumbled I felt his arms shoot out, wrapping them around my slender waist he pull me back just as I had felt myself push forwards.
“What the fuck are you doing you jack ass?”
My voice shocked me even in my drunken state, the venom and desperation was undeniable. It was over for me, when he of all people had taken it upon himself to destroy my well-laid plans.
“I believe I was saving you, nothing can be so bad that you need to jump off a building roof and splatter yourself on a pavement. Don’t worry you don’t need to thank me, I get that your very grateful. Now do you mind getting up off me?”
“What the fuck gives you the right you jack ass? It’s my life I can do with it what I choose ok I don’t need your permission to jump off a building or end it in any other way for that matter!”
“No I don’t believe you do but I don’t think you really want to end your life either!”
“What and just because you’ve spoken to me for all of ten minutes or so you think you know me and understand what is going on in my life?”
“No I don’t know anything about your life but I don’t think anything can be worth killing yourself over.”
“What about if you’ve killed someone else?”
“I don’t believe you’ve killed anyone you don’t seem the kind…”
“Get this into your head YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. You do not know what I am capable of, what I have done. I have killed someone and I do not deserve to live now FUCK OFF!”
“Fine well I will you asshole, stay the hell away from me!”
Stumbling towards the stairwell door I clumsily glanced back round at him. He simply stood there staring back at me, not moving just watching.
“Goodnight Miss Coleman!”
A cool breeze blew across the rooftop making my skin tingle and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. And with that he was gone and I was alone on the rooftop. Taking a deep breath I cursed under my breath what the fuck was wrong with me? He wasn’t even real…not anymore anyway. Growling I swung the door open, slamming it against the brick wall and heading down off the roof.Present Day.
I sat alone in the back of the car having put the phone down I was trapped in my own thoughts once more. You see Gray had come to me, from where and why I was never really sure but he had come none the less. I had been trying to kill myself for over a month by the time the roof incident occurred and yet each time he came to me, stopped me. Talk about fucked up guardian angels, they are supposed to help you not make you more miserable and messed up in the head. I hadn’t killed him, I hadn’t even ever known him but one day a week before the whole rooftop incident after having met this man four times and watching him vanish into thin air, I decided to see if he was real. Well if he had ever been real or if I was truly as fucked up in the head as I thought.
He had been real; he had died two years earlier. Like me he had no family that cared, nobody and the world had got too much and he had killed himself. Hypocrite I had muttered when I found that out. I was so annoyed that a man who HAD killed himself had taken it upon himself to save people from the same fate. I wanted to die and he kept stopping me, part of me wished he were alive so I could have killed him all over again just so I could just die alone. Death was all I thought about for nearly two months, to end it all, that was all I wanted. Peace from my demons, my past, my pain but the fucker just couldn’t let it happen. I tried again after that rooftop incident. Took an overdose only someone had reported fighting from my apartment and the police kicked my door down; Gray again. I swear I am not mad, well I am but I have medication for it now. But he WAS there, he was as real as the air we breathe but only at the times were I was trying to end things, never any other times when I needed someone.
After the overdose attempt they admitted me into a hospital and then I got transferred to a clinic where I have been monitored and had to live for the past year. I never did see him again, sometimes I thought I heard him at night but by the time I turned on the light I was alone and thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me. You see I wasn’t lying when I said I had killed, I have killed someone, not in the way people think but I have killed another person. It is the secrets from the past 18 months that I have to keep from the world, from my present, from him…from Tony Field.
This was now. That was then. It’s time for me to be reborn again and boy will it be fun so watch out!