» PWA Massacre Hardcore Battle Royal

[Deception]

Anyone may enter.

Rules:

Hardcore rules, pins may occur at anytime.

If a competitor scores a pinfall, he will be included in the history of Hardcore champions. Essentially, the title is active for this one night.

The winner of the match will be awarded the Hardcore Championship as a trophy, which he may keep for a year to prove how extreme he is. The title will not be defended following this night or reinstated.

Deadline: 7PM EST, 12th April

[Bman]

I'M WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WORLDS COLLIIIDE

Bman enters! He isn't wearing his usual ripped button up shirt; He has a t-shirt that says "FULL TILT POKER . NET", but he's still wearing his tie and the rest of his gear, including his "GOLDENPALACECASINO" mask.

He also carries a baseball, and appears to have other baseballs in his pockets.



Out of RP: I dunno how much I'll be around but feel free to make Bman look as ridiculous as you want, I won't bitch

[Serial]

The lights throughout the arena fade to black, as “Real Raw” by Dr. Octagon begins to blast through the speakers. A few anxious moments pass before Serial gusts past the curtains, wearing black with gold trim this evening. He is sporting an ‘Occult’ t-shirt, which gets a few awes in response. After exchanges handslaps with the fans nearby, Serial enters the ring, glaring at Bman, who is busy throwing decks of playing cards that advertise his sponsors, to the rabid fans. For a match that is seemingly hardcore, neither of the two men have any weapons on them, well any that are obvious. Everyone knows that Bman is a killing machine without weapons, and Serial, is the seed of the seed of a serial killer, supposedly. The pair of masked competitors situate at opposing corners as they await the next contestant, who will probably be someone of midcard status, or maybe even a surprise.

Johnny: Serial versus Bman?!? I don’t think that has ever happened.

Donny: I don’t think Bman knows who Serial is.

Johnny: lol.

[ZeXX]

As the two masked men prepare for battle, the familar beat of "Hot N' Cold" by Kate Perry begins to play over the Arena Sound System. The lights flash to the beat of the song as the audiance is left to wonder; who's coming to the ring?

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah, you PMS like a bitch
I would know

And you always think
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me

Suddenly ZeXX, dressed in a Wedding dress comes out to ring, riding a bicycle down the entrance ramp as Dildos rain from the sky, nearly missing BMan and Serial and pummeling the referee into unconsciousness

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

YOU, you don't really wanna stay, no
YOU, but you don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

He places the bicycle next to the announcer's table and slides into the ring, climbing onto turnbuckle and begins to hump it for dear life. A second referee slides into the ring as the medics pull the first one out

[Serial]

Zexx completes his expedition into the squared circle, and with his entrance comes the start of not just a wrestling match, but war itself. The dildos prove to be a nuisance, as the competitors struggle to circle the ring with the ‘toys’ covering the canvas. Bman chooses to dropkick a few of them, but it is to no avail. They will not go away. Zexx decides to pick them up and toss them to the loving fans. A few females will now leave with a souvenir, and possibly an extra source of entertainment. Serial lifts one off the canvas, but immediately drops it, due to a slimy substance blanketing the tool. A few members of the ring crew insert themselves into the fray, choosing to sweep the props to the outside of the ring. The current Million Dollar Champion dropkicks one of the crew members, then choosing to make the cover. The official shrugs his head as he drops to the canvas.

ONNNEEE??!?!?!?!

TWO?

The crew member kicks out forcing Bman, to lift him and throw him to the outside were his allies are situated to catch him. In the midst of the clearance of all distractions, the triad of masked competitors circle the ring, ready to kick off the Battle Royal. Bman rushes Serial and clotheslines him out of the squared circle. The strike forces the Killa’ to land on the mats just outside the ring, and with the Incredible Incognito removed from the picture, Bman turns his attention to Zexx, who is busy scratching the inside of his tights. The diversion proves to be the downfall of Zexx who is clutched by Bman and chunked over the top rope, and to the outside, just a few feet away from the Champ’s previous victim. The bell rings to the confusion of the Joe Louis Arena, and even the Thunder Brothers.

Johnny: Why is the bell ringing? This match just started, it can’t be over.

Donny: Well, look who rang the bell. It’s Bman’s omnipotent allies, Gumption and Zest. Gump has Zest on his shoulders, and Zest is ringing the bell with a Playskool hammer.

Bman raises his hand in the air, celebrating as if he had won. Bman searches his pocket for a tear sticker, and soon after his rummage, Bman places the tear onto his mask, denoting the exhilarating emotion that has overcome the Million Dollar Champion. The kooky Canadian orders the referee to raise his hand, but the referee only shrugs, disappointment overcoming the referee. He probably should have gone to college, rather than trying to live out his dream. Broken visions aside, Bman comes to a stunning revelation…

Bman: Oh yeah, Invisi-Bman.

Serial and Zexx, no longer sore from the fall that transpired, reinsert themselves into the fray. Zexx rebuttals to Bman’s previous attack on him, by throwing a dildo at Bman’s hockey mask covered face.

Bman: OW! Son of a bitch that hurt. How did he see me?

The stunning disclosure forces Bman to realize the weakness of his powers.

Bman: I guess my invisibility goes away when I’m hit. It would make sense, that’s what happens to Reptile and Smoke when they get hit.

Promptly Bman comes up with a fantastic idea, which he shares with his opponents. The Canadian realizes that his odds of winning aren’t as strong, now that he is no longer invisible.

Bman: Ok, truce, no more weapons. How about we change the layout of this match? I mean, I don’t want anyone to die tonight.

Serial: How about a Cibernetico?

Zexx: That works for me.

Bman: Then it is settled, a Cibernetico it is. Ok you two start, and I’ll be at that corner, ready to come in at any moment.

Bman’s exit to the apron, allows Zexx and Serial to circle the ring, and truly kick off the contest. The pair of warriors’ compromise to the center of the ring with a collar and elbow tie up. The combatants struggle for dominance and it is garnered by the Killa’ who concludes the grapple with a knee strike to the abdominopelvic region. The Protested Hero, paces back a few meters before acquainting the sole of his boot with the temporal region of Zexx’s cranium. The impact filtering upon the frame of Zexx, forces him to fall to the canvas, his body temporarily paralyzed with pain. Serial perceptive of Zexx’s torment, attempts to put a swift end to his misery, by blanketing over his antagonist and sealing the transaction with the hook of Zexx’s right leg.

ONNEEE…

TTWWWOOO…

[Vegeta]

3!!!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, your new Hardcore Champion...SERIAL!

Just as Serial is announced as being the newest HC champion, Bman slides back into the ring and drives the bottom of his boot into the Protested Hero's skull.

Johnny: This match isn't over just yet.

Donny: I wonder who else will enter. I wonder if Serial will hold his belt for the rest of the night. I wonder if Julio Guerrera went through with that sex change operation.

[ZeXX]

The second Serial gets the belt from the referee, its pulled out of his hands as the downed Perverted One headbutts the Protested Hero in the groin. Serial drops to one knee but the Horny Luchador continues his brutal headbutts into his So-Cal opponent in the groin in a very awkward position, depending on the camera angle. After the seventh blow(job), The Cocksag native lifts his opponent up, as if going for a Alabama Slam, Serial's stomach on his back. The crowd is split in three groups; one loves the Horny ZeXX, one adores the lucharific Serial and the rest thinks BMan's the Bee's knees.
The crowd expects an Alabama Slam but the Ohio Pornster starts to spin, around and around, soon making five, six, eight, ten rotations before falling onto his ass, driving the Masked Marvel with a reverse Tombstone Piledriver. The 1/2 of Technico Difficulties rolls out of the ring, grabbing the crown of his skull; he unintentionally tags out and the PWA-Legend, BMan, enters the ring. The two masked onomilies stare each other down.....not moving.....not for a minute. The ring shakes, the energy builds as the crowd is split in half; chants for both men break the sound barrier as both men finally move and they move....ssslllllooooowwwwllllllyyyyyy

BMan goes to punch the Horny Luchador for DEVISTATING and deliberately misses; ZeXX grabs his jaw and falls to his back, acting as if that faux punch broke his jaw. He gets back up and delivers the most BRUTAL fake chop he can give; BMan grabs his chest, gets down on one knee and falls onto his back slowly, and flops around as if he was fish out of water. The BVolver gets back up and lifts his perverted opponent and drops him in the scoop slam.....FROM HELL!!!! Like BMan before, the man in the wedding dress flops around, overreacting the move as if he was hit by GOD HIMSELF!!! Finally after 1/2 a minute of selling, The Horny One gets back up and delivers the saddess lariat on Earth; BMan however, falls back and starts to TREMOR, as if he was suffering a seizure but gets back up and lifts the Sexual Deviant for a belly to back suplex, only he drops to one knee, then sits down and rolls ZeXX in the brutal belly to back suplex; ZeXX's body rolls onto his knees, grabbing the back of his neck in NON-EXISTANT PAIN!! The crowd is eating it up, cheering for this fake match but it ends quickly as ZeXX splashes onto BMan for a pin

One

[Steve Justice]

Most people are fully absorbed in the faux-action taking place between Bman and ZeXX. Although the Splash seems to have ended this fascinating sequence, the referee on the other hand decides to keeps the ball rolling. The leg is hooked, the pin in instigated – but the senior official still takes it upon himself to make the count as slow as he possibly can, keeping the crowd fully entertained in the process.

… OOONNNEEE!
… TTTWWWOOO!

At this speed, anybody in the ring could break the fall. Nonetheless, it turns out that somebody from the crowd stops ZeXX from picking up the fall and the belt – and that person turns out to be a surprise to every single person watching. Amidst a shocked bunch watching at ringside, this figure bounds over the barricade, sliding under the ropes and punting the Horny Luchador square in the ribs. Justice is served.

JOHNNY: Is that … Steve Justice?!
DONNY: As in the Colts’ Steve Justice?!
JOHNNY: No – that guy who forced P.Y out of a job in 2004, only for P.Y to later put him out of a job in somewhat ironic fashion? The PWA Cup fiasco? Remember?
DONNY: … No.

Steve Justice wastes no time with crowd interaction. He looks well as truly focused as he scoops the Horny Luchador from the canvas, grabbing both of his wrists firmly in order to lock his own arms around his neck. Back to back, Justice drops to the ground. The resulting Cross-Arm Neckbreaker does all the damage needed to keep ZeXX grounded for a short while.

[Serial]

The proposed ‘Cibernetico’ crumbles with the interruption of Steve Justice. The new challenger could careless though, as he lifts himself from the canvas, staring down at his victim as he rises. Rather than focus his attack on the fallen masked competitor, he turns his focus to ever existent Bman who comes charging in his direction. His speed only comparable to the likes of Barry Sanders, combined with the power of an Ox, result in a Shoulder Tackle forceful enough to knock Steve off his vertical stance, and into a horizontal bearing across the canvas. The ache streaming through the frame of Justice, is more nostalgic than tormenting, as Justice swiftly ascends to his feet upon impact.

Johnny: Looks like Justice isn’t too rusty or out of shape. Are you sure you don’t remember Steve Justice, Donny?

Donny: If we aren’t talking about the Colts player, then no, I don’t remember him. P.Y has squashed a lot of jobbers. Sometimes in life, you have to forget some of the old, worthless memories, in order to make room for the significant one.

Johnny: Is that why you never remember my birthday?

Ignorant of Justice’s rapid recovery, Bman celebrates his football like tackle as if he had won a Super Bowl, or even better, a championship in Goal Line Blitz. The Good Doctor turns into a tablespoon of fist via Justice. Not one to under sell, Bman drops to the canvas, flipping a few times before finding himself on the outside of the ring. At the new locale, he is treated by Gumption and Zest with some ‘Three Hours of Power’ energy drink, which Bman just so happens to be the spokesman of. The Canadian is seen chugging down the refreshment and approving of it with a thumbs up to the camera. The rookie cameraman makes the mistake of zooming to show an unopened can in Bman’s grasp.

Johnny: That won’t make the sponsors too happy.

Meanwhile inside the ropes, Justice searches the ring for an opponent, and soon after finds one as Serial inserts himself into the combat zone. Although it is a Hardcore Battle Royal, neither of the competitors seems to have the assistance of a weapon, instead choosing to go unarmed.
Johnny: This should make for an interesting match up.

Donny: Indeed.

The combants negotiate to the center of the battlefield, making contact via a Collar and Elbow Tie-up. Overwhelming the luchador with his brute force, Steve Irish whips Serial to the parallel set of ropes. Rather than rebounding off the triad of cables, Serial instead chooses to soar through the middle and top rope bursting to the outside upon the ill-prepared Bman and company. The Tope takes out all of the targets, knocking every principle involved in the exchange to the padded concrete. Confused by Serial’s actions, Justice walks to the ring’s end, curious of the end result. Before Steve can bear witness to the carnage however, a slimly dildo smashes across the face of Steve, with the ‘toy’ exploding into Jello like chunks upon contact. Disgusted by the detonation, Justice is diverted from the true apprehension, the horny luchador that is standing right behind him…

[Sakura Jacknife]

The groin of the most horniest wrestler in PWA presses up to Justice' ass, grinding into him for disturbing affect. Before he could continue, ZeXX' Humplex is reversed by Steve, who escapes the waist lock and hits his own German Suplex on the Perverted One

One

Two

Bman stops the pin by kicking in the legs of Justice, who gets up and pulls the ultimate heel move; HE TEARS THE MASK OF BMAN OFF and whips it out of the ring!! The Alaskin Assassin covers his face and chases after his sacred mask as Serial is gets back up. Both men crash to the padded mats, taking them both out of the match for a second time. With everyone out, Steve Justice goes for a pin on ZeXX when the sound of a southern guitar playing catches the attention of the wrestlers in the ring. Suddenly, "Sunrise" begins to play...could this be PWA's debut of Stan "The Lariat" Hansen, The Bad Man from Borger? No. "Disciple" by Slayer times in at the high pitched horn, alerting the crowd that its her. Coming out to the ring in a Kyle Reiger t-shirt, the Princess of Plasma, Sakura Jacknife, comes out of the backstage. ZeXX takes the opertunity to escape the ring as Sakura walks to the ring as she carries her chair. The steel chair is no ordinary chair; instead, a sign made of light tubes are bolted to the steel sitting device with the phrase "YOU'RE DEAD" on it. Its brightened up by a wire that leads into the chair, possibly a small battery to keep the lights illuminated. She slides into the ring where both Serial and BMan stand on the apron while Steve Justice looks at her with a questionable look
She sets down the chair lightly and stares down her opponent, who is almost smiling, wondering why a woman had decided to enter this hardcore match. He walks up to her and starts to hit on her; the camera's microphone can pick up crappy pick-up lines but he is knocked onto his butt by a fist to the nose. Sakura stands tall over her opponent, no concern for retaliation, and she receives one; a slap to the face. Steve gets back to verticle base, nose bleeding and eyes red with anger. He grabs Madam Ragnarök by her hair and throws her into the corner, choking her with intent of destroying her. The referee pulls him back and warns him about the choking, forgettng that there were no rules in this match. Steve pushes the referee out of his way, recieving a hard chop from the Human Doomsday Machine. He grabs his pictoral in pain then chops her back; she barely reacts, only grabbing the bruised breast fallowed by screaming. She chops him hard and he chops back. Justice realizes his chops do nothing so to gain advantage, he knees his female opponent in the gut and gives her a European Uppercut to send her to the floor. He lifts her back up but looks around to see BMan, Serial and ZeXX just watching from the outside. He asks them "Why are you not in here?"
He receives an answer when Sakura breaks out of his grip and proceeds to blast him with Kenta Kobashi-style Machine Gun Chops; with the added leather gloves she wore, his chest turns red faster than anticipated but he stops her attack with a DDT out of nowhere. The camera takes a peak to Serial who again attacks ZeXX by throwing him into the crowd, fallowing him while a referee accompanies them while BMan secures a big trash bag from a Garbage man.
He searches for a weapon, deliberately ignoring the many dildos in the ring and grabs the light tube chair that Jacknife brought in. Sakura gets up and avoids a swing from the returning PWA forgotten wrestler and superkicks him in the chair. He drops the chair and grabs his face in pain, allowing Sakura to grab the chin. He turns around and the only thing he sees is one phrase: "YOU'RE DEAD".
~CRAN-BANG!!!~
The light tubes explode with a flash of white powder and light as the battery and wires fall out of the chair, with nothing left to be connected to. Steve's face is a multi-waterfall of blood, bits of glass imbedded in his head as he falls to the ring, as if he had died from a brain anyurism. Sakura takes the moment to pin her opponent

One

Two

Suddenly BMan enters the ring and takes a page out of Borat's playbook by wrapping a bag around Sakura Jacknife's body!! She freaks out and obscene threats are easily muffled as the BVolver rolls her off the knocked out Steve Justice and onto her back, going for a pin

One

Two

This post has been edited by Sakura Jacknife on Apr 2 2009, 06:19 PM

[Black Dragon]

Al Gore comes running down the aisle unexpectedly without any music. Well, he tries to run, but his weight prevents him from getting into the ring in decent timing. Hoping to revenge his defeat in 2003, the Democrat slowly slides into the ring under the bottom rope. However, his slowness leads to an kicking assault being led by Zexx and Bman.

Donny: Al Gore is here again!

Johnny: Yeah, an inconvenient truth.

Al Gore fights his way back up, and headbuts both Zexx and Bman. The force behind his cranium knocks both out quickly. Al Gore quickly goes for a bin upon Zexx, who is closer. Sakura however, sees the man and quickly moves...

[Serial]

Without a moment of hesitation glooming through the femme fatale, Sakura winds her right foot back, before thrusting it forward like a pendulum. The peak of the driving force smashes across the face of the former Vice President. The clobber knocks Gore into a momentary daze, and during this bewilderment, the politician can only ponder to himself whether he should have invested his ‘stock’ into this brawl. Miss Jackknife is not done with her quarry just yet, as she clutches a handful of thin hair blanketing the head of Gore. She forcefully lifts her prey to a vertical base, which precedes a fling towards the perpendicular corner post. The Irish whip obliges the elected official into the triad of turnbuckles, which he forcefully crashes upon. The battered body of Gore is feeling pain that compares the loss in the 2000 election to George W. Bush to that of a light tickle. What is not a tickle is the feeling of a quartet of knuckles ramming into the mandible, and the Right Hook is no laughing matter for Al Gore, whose head rocks back like a Rock’em Sock’em Robot. Despite the fact that Al Gore may not have the durability of Red Rocker or Blue Bomber, he is able to maintain his footing. His stability is a gift and a curse however, as the Indystar student continues her assault upon the politician. Normally the rules do not allow for closed fist attacks, but with the bout being contested under hardcore rules, the barrage of knuckles acquainting with the face of the politician, are as legal as a headlock. At the conclusion of her flurry, the overweight body of Gore falls forward, seemingly incapacitated. The defenseless motion towards the canvas, allows Sakura another free shot at the Human Punching Bag, but Jackknife does not administer her deathly blow with another punch, but a Diving Knee instead. The inconvenient truth comes with the sanguine fluid that escapes the mouth of Gore upon contact. As if further aggression was necessary, the Knee strike proves to knock Al into a cold slumber, as his prone body collapses to the canvas. The unconscious arrangement for Gore leaves Sakura without a victim to inflict further pain upon.

Johnny: Those devastating strikes have proven to be more than enough to knock Gore out of contention for victory.

Donny: I’m sure Gore is used to it by this point. Losing to Sakura is a step up from…

Johnny: Before you go any further, look who is reinserting himself into the contest…

Unfortunately for Sakura, she does not have a full analysis of her surroundings, because if she did, she would notice the Protested Hero ascending upon the top rope. From the cable, Serial springboards off the very rope, rotating in mid-air before making contact. The collision could have never been seen by Jackknife, as she does not have eyes on the back of her head. It is the back of her head that is victim to the Springboard Spinning Heel Kick, and before long, the two finds themselves spread across the bloodstained mat. Conversely, it is only Serial that can elevate under his own free will without more ado. The Masked Marvel shakes off the damage recoiled upon his foot, before refocusing upon the deadly female. Cautiously, the Killa’ relocates himself in position to deliver his next offensive move, but the chaos that consumes the ring proves to be significant. The disruption comes in the form of Bman, who places a plastic bag over the head of Serial, before pushing the bag against the throat of the luchador. The SoCal Superstar waves his arms in the air, trying to figure who turned off the lights, realizing his consciousness is slipping away with each moment that passes. It doesn’t take long for the former World Champion to realize that it is a plastic bag that is removing him of oxygen, and swiftly rips the bag, recirculating his flow of air instantaneously. The plastic bag that read ‘Thank You’ no longer useful as a submission attempt, aides the Alaskan Assassin in dropping his foe to the mat with a Rear Sitout Mat Slam. Serial’s head whiplashes off the mat, before he remains motionless, victim to whatever malicious ideas may phantom through the devious mind of Bman. The CommonWealth Champion’s plot is nothing more than a pin attempt, which is completed with the hook of Serial’s legs.

ONNNEEEE!!!!

TTWWOOOO!!!!

Whether it is due to Serial’s heart, determination, or just instinct, the luchador is able to remove his right shoulder off of the canvas just before the three count can be reached. Before Bman can attempt another pin fall, Serial rolls upon his stomach, forcing Bman to earn his win, unlike Eagle, who pretty much gave him the CommonWealth championship. Bman slowly winds up to a vertical base, but the hockey mask wearing Canadian is knocked back a few steps by the means of a dildo. The female ‘toy’ is smashed across the back of Bman, who drops to a kneeling arrangement, the agonizing pain filtering his body. Zexx follows up his weapon strike, with a submission attempt, as he wraps the dildo around the throat of the Grand Slam Champion, adding another unorthodox submission attempt to the statistics. Bman could have passed out via dildo sleeper, if it were not for Steve Justice, who punishes Zexx with a Lariat, which torques the head of the horny luchador in reverse, thus breaking the submission.
Johnny: I don’t think anyone is able to get a submission or pin fall in because of all the contestants. There has been only one Champion the entire night, and that is Serial. You think he can outlast the clock without the title changing hands?

Donny: I think there’s a better chance of Tha Bunny making an appearance, than of Serial winning this entire thing.

The commotion that devours the squared circle has proven to be a benefactor for Serial, but only time can prove everything. Can Serial retain his title to the end? Or will Highly Evolved, be highly disappointed?

OOC: Will edit later.