I love beaches. You love beaches. He, she, it loves beaches. They're warm without burning, cool without freezing, and the ocean is filled with fish poop and dolphin love.

But the one thing the beach has never been, is SEXY. Until now.

...what's that? This came out in 2003? And there's a predecessor AND a sequel? Bah, details.

Going into Sexy Beach 2, if you're expecting beautiful grainy sand, quiet, relaxing waves, and a luscious sunset-- well, you'll be disappointed, for the most part. That is, while the scenery IS quite nice(if your last console was a Dreamcast), a bunch of sex-craving Japanese girls get in the way. Damn, I hate when that happens.

You start off as a humble dude with a large sack of cash, the ability to repel any other men in a field ranging at least 3-4 miles, and a really awesome sponsorship deal with Trojan. Or so I gather-- what, you think I understand moonspeak? Besides, you're playing a hentai game. You could be a physician who cures women of their ailments with his cock, for all I gather.

Anyways, you've gotten to the aptly named "Sexy Island"(I wanna see the marketing on this-- even prostitution vacations aren't that blunt. I mean, except Bangkok*.), and you're in the mood for an afternoon tea and crumpet with the girl/woman of your choice.

*= I obviously know that Bangkok wasn't named for what occurs the most there, sheesh.

The characters run the gamut from flat-chested SHE'S CLEARLY 18, to Tomonobu Itagaki(err, his designs, not Itagaki himself), all rather cute, all very much female. Really not much else to them, other than some odd habits and preferences.

[moar to be added when the game co-operates again]