Ok, for those of you who actually stay on here, long time no talk! i'm sorry, i've been busy with school and shit...starting high school where it starts 2 hours earlier than your middle school can be an issue, specially without a study hall><

Anyways, on to my newest journal!

So do you guys remember like, my first journal that said that I fell in love with people who I wasn't even sure existed? Well, after switching from a local school to a complete outta town school can definitely help with that issue! See, in that journal, I said that I was in love with a guy named Jake and a guy named Blake, well guess what? I now know a Jake! And he's SOOOO fucking hot! (In my terms, at least)

Anyways, I've been crushing over him for a while, like, almost all year, but am afraid to do ANYTHING because I've had TERRIBLE beyond EXTREME heartache last year...the thing is though, I'm a lot happier this year. And I dunno if it's 'cause I'm away from the dude who completely killed me, or if I'm just too busy at school and hw, or if its just Jake himself who's making me happy. All I know is that whenever I get home on Friday's(which is usually really late) I'm always really sad when I go to bed. My first thought is that I won't be able to see Jake until Monday again, but I'm not really sure. Could it also be that I still live in the same neighborhood where the guy who killed me inside, did his killing?

I'm really not sure and need help....like....a lot.

Oh, and lately I've been daydreaming 'bout Jake, and at night before i fall asleep i dream of the ways that we could get together and he could ask me out or some shit like that, but the problem is that we don't tend to talk...

HELP PLEASE! at least, help from the people who still come on!