Here's a random question that just popped into my landfill of a brain - if it were possible (which, as yet, it isn't) to "tack on" a highly complex gene sequence to your obviously existing and probably very fine genotype, which animal or plant's strange mutations would you choose?

In other words, were extensive gene therapy on a pre-existing genotype a reality, what would you have added on - provided of course that there already exists an organism with that ability? Phosphorescence perhaps? (useful for finding things at night - not so good for sneak thievery.) The sticky feet of a gecko? The dislocating jaw of a snake? (fun at parties) The thick coat of a snow leopard?

The only rules are: you have to name your organism, it has to be a real, existing, non-extinct organism and you can't have the genotype without the phenotype - so, for instance, were you to choose the climbing skills of a gecko, you would have to have the three toed, fat, callused and squidgy feet of a gecko as well.

Personally I'd go for the colour changing abilities of the cephalopods (particularly the cuttlefish, even if it means getting a new and slightly unpleasant type of skin)

I don't think something slightly less sci fi is far away, I've seen an interesting thing on ReGenesis (tv series). Namely one athlete wanted to grow mucle mass since he was aging and not up on par with his younger collegues, but taking growth hormones was out of the question as that counts as illegal doping and can be detected.
So, he actually mutated his genes so he produced the hormone himself, effectively the same as constantly taking said growth hormones but without, well, taking them. It was also undetectable via doping tests.

Gills so I could breathe underwater.

Preferably like the ones Kevin Costner had in WaterWorld. But even then, it wouldn't really matter, as they wouldn't be a major visible change. :D

Cephalod skin would be nice, but I wonder, would you have to keep wetting it all the time to avoid drying out?

It'd be interesting to try to out cephalod eyes for a bit too, but the loss of colour vision puts me off for taking that one permanently (the ability to see polarised light is cool and all, but I like my colour vision).

A chameleon style sticky-tongue would be cool, although probably kinda embarassing in some situations.

Yes, this is in fact becoming something of an issue in sport because it's nearly impossible to detect, or so I've heard. However, it is a bit different to what I'm talking about because the body is already equipped to produce Human Growth Hormone - after all, you produce large amounts of it during the first 20 years or so of your life. All these athletes are doing is changing a very small section of their genes to allow them to continue producing a hormone they already have the mechanisms (and the genetic information - often those sorts of crazy self harm are done by knocking the stop gene out rather than putting a new one in, athough since I didn't see that tv show I don't know whether thats what that particular guy did) to produce, which while pretty damn cool, is quite a long way from making an existing body suddenly grow say, a new set of legs that isn't laid down in the basic "blueprint." And they're probably going to give themselves particularly nasty cancers as well.

Personally I'm not sure we'll ever really be able to cause live mutations on the scale I'd like to see, but we can but dream. Or start genetically modifying human zygotes (unethical maybe, but I want a phosphorescent child.)


Oh, and yes, I probably would have to carry a spray bottle around with me to keep my new skin damp. Hmm, how about pit viper's pits? Infrared vision is also stupidly cool.

The pits would be cool, as they can go along with your real eyes.

In fact, I'd go in for several sets of eyes including insect, snake pits and cephalod, if I could. Although that might require the enlarging of the vision centre of the brain in order to interpret all the data.

And I'd look rather grotesque with my huge head and tons of eyes.

Hmm, maybe I'd just go with human tetrachromatism.

I kinda think we'll need to use chimerism* to achieve most of the things you want, but once that is worked out many things should be possible even for adults.
*chimerism is when more than one genetic code exists within a body, part of it's using one genetic code, part of it another. All you'd have to do is modify them so they don't attack each other and you can put whatever animal part on a human you want, without the really fiddly parts of genetic engineering (with normal geneering you could end up changing someones brain structure when you're trying to give them a tail or something, due to the fact that genes can affect multiple areas)

Ah, chimerism. Like that poor naturally chimeric woman who was shocked to discover, when the paternity test results came back, that he was the kids' father but she wasn't their mother. Spooky. Actually, thats an interisting point. If you were a chimeric, multi-eyed, improbably large cranium-ed human and you had kids, they could be the biggest bunch of freaks since the people of Norfolk decided sex with first cousins was socially acceptable.

Nah, they'd get whatever genetics you used to make your reproductive organs.

So if you want to be hung like a horse (not directed at you in particular Vix) don't have children, but if you're human down there your kids will be humans.

Now if you did it through normal genetic engineering, things would be different...

True true. Although horse cock doesn't necessarily mean horse bollocks as well. Mainly I just wanted to make a joke about people from Norfolk :D Anyway, I'd have to do some serious restructuring of my DNA to be hung like a horse, so I think I'll stick with my warty multicoloured skin. And maybe the ability to hide behind a cloud of ink.

Wouldn't you be rather good kisser? :D

I tend not to think about such things (more than the mandatory "once every six seconds" :P) due to my lack of experience in the area.

But it is a good point.

Either a very good kisser or an absolutely terrible one. Think about the crazy slingshot action.

Yeah. You can kiss goodbye from 5 meters distance :o

Although the stickyness might not be pleasant. Have to be careful not to drag them with you after the goodbye kiss.


Orangutan legs do seem an interesting idea.

Or octopus tentacles from your chest.

That could be a tad off-putting for other people. Also, imagine the trouble you'd have finding clothes. You'd have to walk around in an open shirt all day like some kind of Mediterranean cephalopod sleazeball.

I'd quite like to be able to purr like a cat (not terribly useful, but endearing to others) but I suspect the purr-box and the voice-box are not compatible.

I'm more thinking of the reaction one could get from the lovely members of the female persuasion.

Think of what one could do with that tongue....

Look, I don't know what women you've met, but I honestly can't think of any (myself included) who would particularly enjoy having what is essentially a ball of spiky glue slapped into their bits at 21.6 kilometers/hour, then being dragged violently back to "tongue-boy's" face by their pubes at similar speeds.

Go for a giraffe's tongue. 18-inches long, flexible and sensitive enough to pick the tiniest leaf off of the acacia tree while avoiding the massive spines, and for some reason, a sort of blue/purple. Freaky tongue colour aside, you'd be veeeeery popular with the ladies.

ROFL. Oh good lord, I have tears in my eyes.


Yes, I do believe the giraffe tongue would be the better option here. The only question is where do I keep it when I'm not busy being popular with the ladies?

Also, I would like a prehensile tail please.

I have a tendency to not think about the cosmetic effects. I probably should

Go for Catgirl ears too and you become the ultimate nerd fantasy.

Even moreso that the "smexy klingon"

But yeah, they're not compatible, you'd be forced to speak in lolcat.

"I is have very bad day! I can has murdering?" etc.

It would make talking a bit difficult, but I suppose conversation would be a secondary consideration

Conversation between Cat-Girl and Giraffe-Boy:

CG: Giraf Boy make lol-cat yay!

GB: Mneh murf *drools*

CG: Can be oral-sex tiem naow?

GB: Mm...Mneh?

CG: YAY!

GB:Mneh, mnumphnum?

CG: FAIL -__-

You know, I just applied for a stint as a runner at a recording studio. I hope that none of them are internet proficient, or at least not enough to do a "whois"

Haha, Vxn, Im in ur forum posting pointlss reply. No reason Lolz.