Childcare advice

Hi everyone,
I just wanted some advice from some like minded mothers...
I'm PG expecting baby no.2 in December and my friend who is not an AP mum in the slightest has told me she thinks i should start my baby who is now 14 months and TG very attached in a playgroup soon, so when the baby comes my oldest will be use to it and i can send her out and have some time with the baby and get some rest, etc.
I don't feel comfortable with 'kicking' my oldest out just because i made the decision to have another baby.
It was never my intention to send her to a playgroup before, should a new baby change things? Or am i being naive to the demands of a baby and a toddler?
Thanks so much x

If you don't feel the need, there's no reason to send her out. Obviously, it'll be an adjustment from 1 to 2, but that doesn't mean you'll have to send your older one out to cope. And if you find you do... she can adjust then, no need to send her out 5 months early at 14 months (really young!).

Sigh.

Sometimes, when people give advice, they are talking more about themselves than they are about you.

There is no requirement to send a toddler to playgroup. There is evidence that this is good for the toddler, and there is plenty of evidence that it's not.

If you find the demands of an infant and a toddler very difficult, you have options. You can find another like minded mom to hang out with, making child-rearing easier for both of you. You can hire a mother's helper to come in to play with your toddler, or you can hire cleaning help if that's financially feasible. You can implement some of the tricks of moms of large families already to make life easier for you now.

If you find yourself overwhelmed (and you might not, it really depends on the temperaments of you kids as well as your own) then playgroup is one possible answer. But it's definitely not the only one.

IF your child was in some program or other, THEN when the baby comes, it is best to continue the routine if possible.

But that doesn't mean you have to get her into a program just so that when the baby comes, you can continue the routine.

As Zephyr says, you'll see how it goes. Odds are, it will all be just fine.

BTW, part of the trade-off that needs to be considered is getting a kid out the door. This is not a trivial amount of effort (plus or minus, depending on the kid and the mother), and is time-critical. It might not be worth it

Are there activities that you would be able to do with the toddler, while bringing the baby with you?

Does your toddler like to be really active?

Does your toddler want to be around you, and specifically you, non-stop?

I found that nursery school/playgroups were good for giving my older child something to do of their own, and keeping them active and engaged.

OTOH, I also found that we made good use of drop-in programs, where my older one could play while I had the younger one with me.

Babies take work, but they don't require that much active attention. I tended to focus on doing things with the older child, and basically the baby would come along.

I did find that I couldn't walk well for a month before and a month after my 3rd was born, which coincided with my 2nd hitting a very active stage where she would want to run off or climb something. At that point, I really did need some help to keep her active and safe.

If you don't like traditional playgroups, you can also look for things like gyms with good babysitting services. When I had 2 under 2, I loved this - I would wheel in the double stroller, have time to exericse, and then - even better - I had time to take a long, hot shower. Alone.

Clever!