Oh No! I was afraid this would happen one day!

They've actually been wonderful about it and haven't brought up the 3 bite thing. It's just in the back of my head.

Ok - so we are on to bite number two. He just walked up to a child and bit him - no reason whatsoever.

So here's a question for you all.....

Right before Dylan bit the first time - he had spent the day w/my Mom the day before and she basically sugared him up

Yesterday morning, all they had for breakfast was fruit loop type cereal. We were incredibly late (long story) so I figured I'd let him have it as a treat. I'm wondering if it's my imagination or can the sugar be making him aggressive.

>>I'm wondering if it's my imagination or can the sugar be making him aggressive. <<

Absolutely. I just finished talking with my kids about exactly this a half hour ago. I told them about an experiment held in a prison that I read about a while ago - they replaced all the typical white flour/sugar fare with fruits and veggies, whole grains, and eliminated sugar. It was a great place for an experiment like this since they were able to control very effectively the diets of the inmates - they couldn't get food anywhere else. No other changes were made. Within a short time they noticed a huge decrease in the number of aggressive incidents in the entire prison population.

I also remember reading about a school in which a similar thing was done. Same results. And kids are much smarter - their brains function better - when they are fed nutritious foods.

Makes sense - feed your child food with lots of nutrients, including the full gamut of B vitamins that calm the nerves - and you have a child who performs better in every way - including behavior.

Ok -good to know I'm not crazy

Now the next obstacle - getting through to Bubbe that sugar is making him nuts and to stop giving it to him. It's not like he even asks for it. She feels like since we don't give it to him we are somehow denying him. ~sigh~

~reaching into bag of boundries~

Yep - still have some left.

It's one of Bubbe's privileges - to spoil the children.

It's not going to change, and arguing about it will not be perceived by her as anything other than offensive. Like she doesn't know how to raise children!

YKWIM?

What you can do is point out that he does react to sugar, so to please give him time to metabolize it so you don't have to deal with it the next day.

The right time to point it out would be when you're feeling most understanding toward her.

Regarding sugar - would it be more beneficial to use xylitol instead? I have read about all the benefits of xylitol - and I started using the xylitol powder in my tea instead of sugar. Tastes the same. I have also ordered xylitol mints and gum (thanks, Zephyr, for the link to B-Fresh products). We'll see how it works. I guess since it acts differently from sugar they can't get "high" on it? or can they?

Foxx, how often does Dylan spend a whole day with his grandma? If it's once in a blue moon, I would just let it slide. If it's regular, like once a week or smth, then maybe talking to her about his reaction to sugar and trying to find sweet substitutes to white sugar would be a way to go. How about other treats, not food? Like buying him a toy (not made out of mink:)), a special outing to a park or museum? Besides, there are treats that are "salty" - not that you want him to overeat those.

Another way of putting it would be to say that you'd like candy treats to be very special to him, and the way to do that would be to let him only have a little at a time.

Wonderful suggestions everyone. I've also been "allowing" her to give me input on the matter and have acted on some of what she feels are her ideas. I called Early Intervention today to have him re-evaluated and she is so excited that I took her advice.

I think I'll discuss the whole sugar thing w/her after the evaluation. It's not that I restrict his sugar entirely - we just don't allow him to have 3 bowls of lucky charms.

While grabbing some lunch, I ran into one of the teachers from day care (who I absolutely adore). Her son was recently moved into Dylan's class and she was telling me how much her son loves playing with Dylan. I said something along the lines of "oh, well I guess he's not the boy Dylan bit" and she just stared at me.

No! Yes! I just kept apologizing and she just kept laughing and telling me it's ok. I guess, in a way, it's good that his Mom is a teacher and understands.

do you have a link to the study??

I'm ready to do my own study.

I was at the chiro last night and Dylan wanted a candy cane (they were on the counter). We gave him a small piece of one on the way home.

We walked in the front door and settled in to a 30 minute full blown melt down. I was on the verge of tears (as was DH). Finally, I ran a schmata under cold water and put it on his face and back of his neck (which distracted him for a second or two), gave him his sippy cup with some milk, got his blanket and wrapped him in it and sat on the floor of the kitchen with just a small light on. Oy!

A small piece of candy can't be blamed for a full melt-down all on its own.

But it can tip over the balance, if the child is already tired, ill, or otherwise out of sorts.

I had a day from hell with ds7 (3.5) yesterday. Full-blown tantrum over every single thing that did not go his way from the morning onward ... until he fell asleep in my arms at 4pm and slept until 9 - and then again from 11 to 8. I guess he hasn't been getting enough sleep...

Mainly, when they lose it, they need to be held.

Good job with dimming the lights - have you done that before, or did you just think of it then?

I think I did it more for myself than for him to be honest. I find dim lighting to be very soothing so I figured if we set the room at the right mood, he would follow. Also the fact that we were all sitting on the floor of the kitchen together helped too. I think he realized then he wasn't being "punished" and that we were all taking some quiet time together. It allowed him to regroup.

Oh, and I was really happy this a.m. when the teacher pointed out that the cereal was sugar based and asked if we had any other alternatives for him and asked if he could have cookies with his classmates later. I really felt like she was listening to me in the past. I gave her cheerios for him and told her he could have one cookie later. We'll see how he does with that.