Title: I need help getting motivated for Pesach
Zephyr - March 16, 2012 11:53 AM (GMT)
I am finding it very hard to get motivated to prepare for Pesach. I have my Pesach notebook out (the one I've been keeping for years with detailed lists of everything I need to know about anything we've ever done regarding Pesach) but I can't bring myself to create this year's timeline or get moving. I did realize that the kids have moved beyond acting out Tze U'Lmod like we did at sedarim in the past and I did get The Different Night Hagaddah to try and get some new ideas. So it's not like I'm in total denial.
I'm just trying to muster up some *caring*, and it's just not there. Ideas? Suggestions? Advice? I'm all ears. I really don't want Pesach to sneak up on me... but I also just don't seem to be able to conjure any feelings about what is usually my favorite holiday, other than "blah".
emunahbutterfly - March 16, 2012 12:07 PM (GMT)
try to channel some nesting.
jul511riv - March 16, 2012 01:10 PM (GMT)
I hear you. My dh called and said "pesech is in 3 weeks." My first thought was, "I have a 2 week old." Haven't gotten beyond that. :blink :help
Yehudis - March 16, 2012 05:38 PM (GMT)
Can you try to see what's blocking you? Ask yourself what exactly you're feeling and see where that's coming from. Or just sit down and write whatever comes to mind on that subject.
I know what's blocking me, but that's another story... Need to work that through.
gilima - March 18, 2012 04:29 AM (GMT)
I'm feeling pretty much like you :(
I have so much going on,I don't even get to do what needs to be done everyday...and Iam also behind on so many things and would like to start learning with the kids this week.
Iam really thinking about simplifying this year, hoping to focus on joyful somehow.
It is a tough one.
elisheva - March 18, 2012 04:53 AM (GMT)
I'm in denial, too. Last year I was determined to be SUPER PREPARED. I started right after Purim as we were having guests. I made lists and charts and menus galore...I was a ball of stress until the morning of Isru Chag when my guests left. I just want it to be less stressful this year so I made myself promise I wouldn't even think about Pesach until 2 weeks before. I've been browsing some recipes and we've made our grocery order (still have to figure out if we're going to have to travel to get it or if the ferry company will agree to ship it for us...grr.) but that's it so far. We're not having guests this year so really I just get to focus on my kids which will be fantastic.
:hug2 to you, Zephyr.
npl - March 18, 2012 02:41 PM (GMT)
I'm not clear whether you are having trouble with the housekeeping side of the preparations, or the homeschooling.
I do this EVERY SINGLE YEAR with the housekeeping - tidying so I can clean/check for chametz.
I'll make resolutions after Chanuka, think about making my plan/schedule before Purim so that I can start the real work right after Purim, and end up not even starting my planning till after Purim (this weekend this year!).
Once I have a plan that's managable (I resist minute-by-minute schedules - I do broader plans of what I need to accomplish each week), I find the whole process less intimidating. That includes figuring out what I can delegate, and what I can enlist help with. When I know what day I need to be ready to have the teenage cousins come scrub the stove and fridge, I can call them and check they are available. Then that gives me a goal. If I tell the kids that I'm pesach cleaning the basement playroom on a particular day, and the lego has to be out of there by then or I remove it myself (aka take it away), then that means I have to stick with it.
I also find that it doesn't help to do too much too far in advance or I get frustrated that it gets undone. That means a lot of intense work in the last week, but the rest of the house can be done a little earlier. If the kids do their rooms (with help) then they are less likely to empty pockets of chametz wrappers in their bedrooms. If they help with the playroom, they'll keep it tidier so that bedikat chametz is easier.
On the homeschooling side - we don't homeschool, but I do find that the more involved they are with the cleaning and preparations, the more "in gear" their brains are for the learning part, and that includes them making up skits for the seder, etc.
Final note - every year I find that the weather affects how "in the mood" I am for preparing for Pesach - physically and spiritually. Once it gets to be sunny, and hopefully warm, I find my internal calendar wants to prepare. The years we still have snow and cold temperatures, and I can't take the high chair outside to hose it off, etc, I find it harder to get motivated.
Not sure if my rambling has helped, but at least you know that you are not alone!
Zephyr - March 22, 2012 09:01 PM (GMT)
I realized what it is that's blocking me-- when I was in the hospital with my toddler, one of the nurses and I were talking about when they see the most burn patients (and why the premier hospital for burn treatment in Israel doesn't have a dedicated pediatric burn unit. We were in general admissions).
It turns out that they see the most burns before Pesach. Kids are home, parents are busy, giant vats of water are brewing for cleaning and kashering. So right now, they are gearing up for burns.
I think it's really no wonder that I am trying to ignore Pesach in the hopes that it will go away.
At any rate, I spoke to my dh and he agreed to take a lot more initiative this year in getting Pesach to happen. But then, he's also flying out to California next week. :sigh
jul511riv - March 23, 2012 10:15 AM (GMT)
ImaGeek - March 23, 2012 12:48 PM (GMT)
I'm feeling similar, although I know exactly what's sapped my energy this year.
Yom Tovim are getting more and more depressing. It's bad enough that we can't be invited for them, but what usually happens is a kind of awkwardness with friends and family long before the holiday. It's almost like people begin avoiding us to avoid the awkwardness of knowing that whatever holiday is coming up...we'll be spending it alone and the awkwardness of knowing that it has to be that way. It's kind of like each holiday becomes a reminder to us and them of where our family is, halakhically.
Usually, I try to focus my energy on making the holiday as awesome as possible for the kids and that's what I'm doing again this year with Pesach. Still, I think this time around is actually tougher because the first Seder falls on Shabbos, so, technically, we could actually join someone for that Seder...but most people don't know that and it seems very presumptuous to tell anyone...so I'm just planning our own and inviting others I know won't be invited anywhere, like the other conversion candidate in town and an older Israeli woman who is not observant and does not have any family nearby.
I think I'll start to feel more ready to get down to scrubbing more when we start polishing the seder plate and some of those preparations. :thumbsup
npl - March 23, 2012 03:54 PM (GMT)
Zephyr - totally understandable that you would have this hanging over your head!
ImaGeek - davening that by this time next year, you won't be in this position, and will have more invitations than you can accept! Actually, I wish your conversion could be finalized by Shavuos, or at least by the yomim noraim!
As for me, I realized that because we were away for Pesach last year, the last time I did proper Pesach cleaning, and all the logistics that go with it, was the year I was expecting dd2 any day. And being pg again has got me into a mindset that I have to take it easy, and must not overdo it. And I started my plans for this year thinking I'd have cleaning help. I'd even planned out with my cleaner what jobs she would do with me, and when. Then she had to go on indefinite medical leave. So, all my plans have been thrown away, and whilst I can do more myself than last time (and many other years when I've been ill) I know I don't have the energy, strength and stamina to do it the way most people do. And so I have a block on even getting started. Last Sunday I did the basement playroom, where there shouldn't have been any chametz. But that's about it. I'm hoping that this Sunday we can do the bedrooms - maybe if the kids see dh and I working hard, then they will make a decent effort, too (some real issues why it's a challenge for some of my kids to tidy and organize, so it's not laziness because they get just as overwhelmed as I do).
For practical steps, I'm trying to find some teenagers to help with the childcare and heavy kitchen cleaning. But, I haven't had anyone commit yet.