So the Twins are 21 months. I know that I may want to continue and that many people nurse to much later than this. I am asking the question because I am at a point that I am thinking of going back on medication that I used to take before I was a mommy. And I can not do both. It is a change in quality of life for me if I take it again not life dependent. I nurse before bedtime and in the morning if I have time before work . Most mornings we do not have time. My ds can nurse for a few mins and can take it or leave it at night. In the am when we have time he nurses longer. My dd will take it when ever I offer. She loves it. If I let her she would nurse 24/7.

So I have been told that it gets harder as they get older. I was also told by other that they will get to a point that they will ween themselves. I wanted to get some thoughts on how do you know when it is the right time?

Please no biblical perspectives on this one, Thank you

First of all, and I have to say it, there is no biblical perspective on this. You can nurse a kid till age 4 or age 5 (for health reasons) and rabbis have found all kinds of lenient rulings in this so it's kind of a non-issue here.

Okay, next, kids will eventually stop nursing. Some will stop sooner than others. If you are in to child led weaning then let the child lead and be patient.

Okay, now here is my personal style and opinion...you gotta do what works for you. Telling your baby "no" to nursing is tough and everyone will have an opinion (including the babies!) but they are your breasts and they belong to you. It's best if you can let the kids in on what is going on and make it gradual, but if you can't, that's fine, too. Mom has to be sane.

I'm telling you this after nursing my 1.5 year old son who just bit me. I said "all done" and it was over. All the crying and begging in the world isn't going to get him back on my breast tonight and that's the end of that. I'm happy to cuddle, I offer juice or water...lots of kisses and hugs and we'll lay down together, etc...but nursing is done on my terms now (notice, we are both talkign about toddlers, not little babies! That is an entirely different story!!!)

The other issue is, are there any alternatives to the medications you took before? One that is more nursing friendly, perhaps? Even hormones have alternatives that are more bf friendly! The other thing is that if your kids are nursing just two times a day or so, even a medication that isn't SO safe might be fine. Le Leche would know, you could also write to Dr. Newman or Sears to get a more specific opinion.

Good Luck!

I also want to add that many doctors are really misinformed about what medications are safe during nursing. Even if the medication goes to the milk, that doesn't necessarily mean it's bad for the baby (or rather, the benefits of the breastmilk often outweigh the risks of the medication in the milk).

So rather than relying on your physician, if he's not an expert on breastfeeding, check with Dr. Hale's guide, "Medications and Mother's Milk" for the most accurate and updated information on the safety of a particular drug while breastfeeding.

I think there's a link to search the guide, but I can't find it. Does anyone know the link?

For example, here's a link to a page on kellymom site about antidepressents & nursing - there's a hierarchy of which drugs are safer, but that doesn't mean that they're all bad choices.
http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/antide...-hale10-02.html

I don't believe in child-led anything. Sorry. It's up to the parents to lead.

Just as at some point you'll have to say, "we are learning how to use the toilet NOW", and "we are learning how to read NOW", you will have to say, "we are saying goodbye to nursing NOW".

It is up to you to judge when the right time is, and there are a variety of factors. It is totally fine to make that decision based on your needs.

Eg, I stopped nursing my 2nd set of twins when I got sick with strep when they were about 2 yo. It was a good excuse. They could have gone on indefinitely, I'm sure. It wasn't a big shock to them, and our relationship went on to the next stage.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I am feeling torn here. The drug I need to take is a stimulate so it is not on the list. I asked the Dr and of course they tell me I have to stop the nursing. I know that the drug lasts 8 hours so I was hoping that I could time it but no Dr would give me the okay unless I tell them that I stopped. So I am in debate. I know this the last time I will be nursing so I need to make sure that we are all ready

Even though it's the last time you'll be nursing, you will have to end it at some point.

You already have sufficient memories of your nursing relationship that these next few months will not make a significant impact one way or another on how you will perceive it 10 or 20 years from now

Best of luck

Fluffy, if you tell us which med we will be able to get all the info for you. Or you can call your local la lache leader, she can get you the info as well. Then you can take it in writing to your doctor.

You don't have to wean yet. You can, but you don't have to.

My 2c - if it gets to a stage where you feel you can function better as a mother if you wean, it is worth considering.
With my oldest, I weaned while pregnant with #2. I was also only nursing once or twice a day, and I was finding it really hard - sore and uncomfortable. I'd had a rough pregnancy with my oldest, and she was fine. I thought she was more attached to the nursing than she was. She was ready to move onto the next stage. She was 14mos at the time. It was easier for me to have her weaned, as it did not impact on my ability to soothe and comfort her, and she was eating a complete, balanced diet, so she did not need the nutrition.
My 15mo, though, is very attached to the nursing, and I think if I had to wean her now it would be much harder on her, and the practical parenting would be harder, both in providing for her emotional needs (including night-time issues as she still nurses at night) and her nutritional needs, because she still isn't on a full diet. So, there would be a trade-off, and if I needed to go back on medication incompatible with nursing, I'd have to figure out whether I was going to gain more benefit from the meds than from nursing without.
Only you can make that decision, and it isn't possible to know with certainty, but I hope that by sharing my experiences I've helped you make a decision.

Thank you everyone.
I do not want to wean. The medication I wa looking to take is either adderall or vyvanse. I used to take it to help me at work. I need to learn a new programing lang here and not having the meds is really impacting my ability to do that.

As I was nursing this morning I was looking at them and wondering how can I not give us this. I love it. WE all need it on many levels. I am getting pressure to stop from outside sources of aren't they old enough. I send them to day care and I am afraid if I stop that they will start to get sick. I as hoping to that I would be able to space out the timing of taking the drug since I only nurse in the am when they first get up sometimes if there is time. And every night before they go to bed. I was honest with the Dr and of course as soon as they hear I was nursing they told me to come back when I was done with nursing.

Thank you for the support, dont have a much of that where I am at

Have you looked into homeopathy? Maybe there is something homeopathic you could take that would help you.

Somewhat OT, but there is an amazing book I was reading recently and found very insightful and very helpful, called Scattered by Gabor Mate. But it's not a quick fix. It's more of a long term process.

My doc won't give me Ritalin which is basically a different version of adderall. Its an L3 from Hale's. Adderall is an L4 which is listed as "possibly hazardous"

Wellbutrin is also an L3.

I've got ADHD so bad I can't hold down a job without meds. You have my sympathies!

What i've been told how to gradually stop, and it'll take a bit- is cut out one nursing session per day.

Thank you everyone for the support. Its been a rough year for other reasons but getting better. I will keep you posted

I really hope you see this also madrex this could help you. b4 there were all these drugs doctors used to perscribe amino acids, completely safe in breastfeeding just the building blocks of proteins. our brains use different ones to make different hormones and things in the brain. there are websites that have lots of info about amino - acid supplementation. the one that is called 5-HTP is what was used back int he day b4 ritalin and aderall. I so so so so strongly encourage you to try it. if you want to call a naturopath to discuss it. I think it is really worth it to be able to think AND nurse. they are both really important!

p.s. or you can call me if you want. really...