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 Rock of Sorrow, Dark/Dramatic Pokemon Fanfic
Nigma
Posted: Apr 1 2007, 12:19 PM


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Rock of Sorrow

Hi there! i wrote this fanfiction to have a good restart at pokecommunity, but until now, nobody did wanna read it. You have to know that i am from germany so my english isn´t the best, but i hope you like it. Please write your comments or critics to my fanfiction, ok? ~Nigma~

Será Fujin, also called the Rock of Sorrow is legendary in the pokemons world. Luckily most life-storys are leading a good way and end fine. But there are also the unlucky pokemon and even trainer. The pokemonworld has a good, and a bad side. Pokemon who didn´t have a good life are in pain and in sorrow come to the legendary Rock to die. A ten step stair leads to it from a hill which stands in the frontier of Kanto, Yohto and hoenn. But to decide to go to this stone is always arbitration of a strong willed pokemon. A guardian of the stone watches the hill every day in the year. And if a pokemon decides go up the hill, he will inform the government of the 3 pokemon nations. Of course everyone wants to help this pokemon and several poeple will go to the hill and beg the pokemon to go down the hill. But some pokemon don´t decide otherwise. Some pokemon feeled that much sorrow that their will to die is that strong that it can´t be broken by normal humans and pokemon.

These pokemon climp the ten steps of the stair, and every step they will see their entire life in replay. The stone tries to warn this pokemon, but it also calls for it. This Fanfiction tells about one of these pokemon...


Intro

Why am i here? Slowly the gaits of the pokemon went forward through the dismal landscape. It started to get cold, and dark clouds gathered at the sky. A soft wind breeze blew though the fur of the pokemon and it looked up the the grey sky. It was a Raichu. The lovely colour of his fur was dull and there could be seen some wounds which had just healed. It set one gait in front of the other. It was a male Raichu, and he could see the hill where he was leaded by his destiny. What had happened to him? Slowly he came near the guardians house, and he could already see the ten steps of sorrow. Soon he would be there, no longer time to wait anymore. Why am i here?

Jaden-Sensei was inside his house with his wife Tess and enjoyed the tea which she had prepared. “Ah, thats good!” Tess said. We can drink it now, it´s ready...” “I know, i know, i am drinking it already!” Jaden was nice man who loved tea and pokemon. Sometimes he loved tea more than pokemon, but he wasn´t sure. He was about his 65 years old and had lots of experience. He was about 1,67 cm tall and was wearing brown jeans and a blue t-shirt when he wasn´t guarding the rock. His white long hair which he had trussed into a long braid carried much wisdom in it, and his beard which was also white wasn´t very long but it looked cosy. Tessa also loves pokemon and his husband. She was proud of her man which guarded such a importand place like the rock of sorrow. For sure it wasn´t the nicest place and she didn´t want ever see a pokemon die, but now she had the change to give pokemon a second chance. 3 Pokemon she had saved already from the death, but if a pokemon didn´t chance it course, she had a task too: Everytime a pokemon wants to die and don´t want to chance, she plays the song of life fot these poor souls, too lead their way and give them the last hope.


But now she was lucky because a long time no pokemon did come to die here. The last came for about 4 years ago. She was 63 years old and a nice woman who was dressed with a colourfull skirt and a scarf. She had also white hear, and for sure she was looking good with that. “Honey, isn´t that beatiful that no pokemon wanted to die for several years?” she asked. “Yes, that is right. Everytime a pokemon comes here, it is like i can feel the pain the pokemon has suffered. A horrible and hopeless feeling. But i have to do soon my record. Lets eat the cake you baked.!” “Yes, my dear!”

Thunders were to hear and the rain slowly started to fall from the clouds. The ears of the Raichu looked down. Depressed and kind of crying he slowly went on to get to the hill. His fur got wet and ropy. The tail grinds on the ground all the time. No living, no happiness. Now he stood in front of the hill where the way leaded up. The guardians house stood on the way up. The big black wet eyes of the raichu seeked for hope. But... nothing.... Why am i here? Where do i go? On his neck the Raichu had an id-tag. “Dyna” was printed in. Dyna walked the way up, slowly and just good enough to life for the stairs. After a while he could hear the laughing of two people. Two old people. They seemed to be happy. He could understand what they were talking and joking about, but for sure, Dyna did want to have a trainer like this. But now it was too late. Slowly he turned his head and went up to the black steps.

“Honey!” Tess said suddenly. “Yes Maám?” Jaden joked. “Stop joking stupid! I think... i can feel... there is a pokemon outside...” Jaden suddenly lost all his gladness he had, and slowly a bad feeling in his stomache was there. In shock he opened slowly the window to look outside. There was nothing. For some moments he and his wife didn´t breath. They looked carefully outside, but nothing was to see about a pokemon. He turned to his wife and looked straight in her eyes. “Don´t you believe me and my feeling?” Tess asked. “I know something for sure...” the old man said low. “... i am feeling now the same. And my feeling never betrayed me.” He turned back and his eyes opened wide. “Jaden? What happened?” Then Tess could see the same as Jaden. A Raichu stood outside the rain, already by the steps of sorrow. How was that possible? Didn´t Tess and Jason notice this pokemon? It couldn´t be. It was suddenly there, like a ghost. It looked up to the rock. It was raining the hole time and it was a fascinating looking to see this pokemon there, but also horrible. Jadon couldn´t move. He had to open his eyes even more. The Raichu slowly turned his head in the direction of the pair in the house. It looked direct in Jadons eyes, and Jadon looked back. He could see directly into these horrible black painfull eyes. Jaden lost every colour in his face. What had this pokemon seen? What pain had it suffered? “Oh my god....” he said whispering. “Tess, drive to the village and tell the major it´s a Heji Onoha.... “ “Oh no... this can´t be...” Tess said and run down the hill to their car. Jaden walked slowly outside the house to the Raichu. Jaden could feel that the death had a hand on the pokemons shoulder and he believed to see the ghostly flashing in the shadow of the pokmon. What should he do?


~This is going to be a 10 chapter fanfic to pokemon, 1 chapter for one step the pokemon goes up the stairs.... ~ Nigma


First Step (Chapter one)


Dyna looked to the old man. [... what do you know...] the raichu said in a calm cold voice. Jaden was paralysed as he heared the abnormal voice of the pokemon. For usuall a raichus voice was a full of energy loaded squeeky voice, but now... “Why are you doing this? Isn´t your life fine? Perhaps some you didn´t had luck in your life, and some things failed, but is this your only option?” [... yes it is...] Dyna said and did the first step. “Noo...”



[Hey Reji! Come on, there are the humans! We have to leave!] a voice told. [Reji! Whats going on?] Dyna remembered now. It was the voice of his further girl friend Gia. Gia a a nice female cute raichu, and probably one of the energetic ones. His real name he had received from his parents was Reji. That´s right. [Uhm, nothing, keep running!] theReji-imagination said. It was like a film or a theater. Dyna could look at his past by looking at his old him, called Reji.

[The humans are coming! Everyone has to hide!] Gia screamed. A lot of raichus and some pikachus run away in different directions. [We will see at the meeting point. Everyone follows the emergency escape routes!] Reji shouted. Reji and Gia run both a small path in the woods who leaded directly to a big mountain. [Reji, did you see Felix?] she asked. [Nope i didn´t. Perhaps he was caught!] They run into the secret hole entry and got into a very big cave. It was like a maze, but the raichus did know the way. Soon they reached another entry in another hole. As they got through it, catching nets were thrown at them. It couldn´t be! The humans had awaited them there. All the other pokemon who they knew were catched too. [How did they get here? What is going on? Why did that happen?] Reji shouted. [Maybe it´s because of me...] Felix said. The Raichu who was the owner of this voice walked out of the shadows behind the humans. He wasn´t in a cage or caught in a net. [Felix! What is going on here?]

[You didn´t notice yet? I have betrayed you Reji, you and your poeple. I leaded you into a trap. These humans are my Trainer!] [Please no! You can´t do that!] [I can...] The next thing Reji feeled was pain in his neck, then he fell down to the ground without consciouss. As he awoke he was enchained in a laboratory and connected to several machines. He couldn´t feel his legs, and it last 20 minutes until his thoughts could work normal.

Gia was in this room too. She wasn´t enchained. [So did you awake?] Gia asked. [Gia? Where are we? Unleash me, hurry!] [Didn´t you get it? You are such a slow thinker Reji. I am with Felix. The hole time i predicted to be your girlfriend, but now it´s enough! We have found some new strong test objectes for our trainers...]

Tears came into Rejis eyes. [This isn´t true...] It happened everything so fast. Why was it him, why was it Gia? Felix came in and with him some scientists. [Oh, Reji, please be our guest for today. We have to talk to you. Gia would you please get out of here?!] Gia turned and went out. The scientists were proving the connections of the machines to Reji. [So, you know what will happen to you? Well i tell you: These scientists will force electrical power into your body. That´s something you are used to, right? But not this power! We will force you to save five times more energy than your body is able to contain. There is a big chance that you will die at this point. You well be like a big dynamo.]

[On top that, we are with the mighty team rocket. Soon you will have a trainer if you can leave here alive...] After Felix was gone, the scientists started the machine. Horrible hours of pain past by, and Reji was forced to absorb high electrical energy in a form nobody could imagine. His own strength, electricity, had gone against him. He was treated like a soulless doll, and the screams could be heared among several rooms. After the painfull torture Reji was brought to his new trainer. His electrical abilities were stronger but he couldn´t controll them. The pain was critical high. 3 of his old friends had died because of these experements.

Why did that happen?


Dyna woke up. Just some minutes had passed by since he did the first step on these stairs. Jaden got some steps to the raichu. “Please, don´t go ahead!”


--------------------
Rising in the dark corners of earth,
to find the power straight through,
having the energy of elemental breath,
keep the promise i gave to you.
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Bromly
Posted: Apr 2 2007, 09:58 AM


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I did a skim read of it,,, and it looks good, just need to put what they say in quotation marks not brackets i.e. "it's pretty" said the girl, instead of [it's pretty] said the girl.

If you want, I'll do a spell check on it and fix any mistakes you have made, but other than that its good.


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QUOTE (Bromly 6:52PM 19-4-07)
I wanna cry
I dunno why
So i'l say goodbye
And hope you survive
And hope you do not have to rely
On the only thing that makes a sci-fi
I hope you don't have to feel my pain
The pain of fame
So i let you go, with your cain
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Produde
Posted: Apr 4 2007, 03:15 AM


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:huh: Hmph? I failed to see this at Pokecommunity. My apologies, fellow member!

I agree with Bromly, it's quite good. Since you said your English is bad I expected some choppy, poor excuse for a fic. I was wrong. You've got your plot planned out pretty well, but just need to work on clarifying the meaning of the writing. (I am a fanfic writer too, by the way!)

As Bromly said, quotation marks -->" "

should border sentences. Make sure to space between two characters' statements as well. ;)

If any extra help is needed, Private Message me either here or at PC as (*ta da*) ProtrainerEon, okay? I'm here to help!

~Pro~


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I'm Produde, dude!
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Nigma
Posted: Apr 5 2007, 09:15 AM


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Ah, i´ve thought that you would say something like that. See, the brackets are for pokemon-language. I can´t imagine why a pokemon could talk in the human language which i marked with quotation marks.

So, if you don´t have a better idea to seperate human and pokemon language, i hope you don´t mind if i continue with brackets.

Perhaps i should add that Jaden can understand the Raichu´s language...

But thanks for your comments!


--------------------
Rising in the dark corners of earth,
to find the power straight through,
having the energy of elemental breath,
keep the promise i gave to you.
Top
Bromly
Posted: Apr 5 2007, 12:43 PM


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Joined: 18-November 06



Well generally they never let the audience understand Pokemon language, but putting in brackets would make it seem like a Pokemon translation.


--------------------
QUOTE (Bromly 6:52PM 19-4-07)
I wanna cry
I dunno why
So i'l say goodbye
And hope you survive
And hope you do not have to rely
On the only thing that makes a sci-fi
I hope you don't have to feel my pain
The pain of fame
So i let you go, with your cain
Top
Produde
  Posted: Apr 5 2007, 04:56 PM


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Ahhh...

And yet, the famous Bromly states the obvious yet again! :P

Good luck Nigma. PM me anytime. :D


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*Swoosh*

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I'm Produde, dude!
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Fera
Posted: Jul 9 2007, 06:03 PM


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Dark pokemon stories are always the best to read^^


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Produde
Posted: Jul 12 2007, 10:02 PM


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Sorry Fera. No posting in old topics, please.

~Closed~


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I'm Produde, dude!
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