Such A --beautiful Disaster--

[sassaboo]

I’m dying to catch my breath
Oh why don’t I ever learn?
I’ve lost all my trust,
though I’ve surely tried to turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear me down
You’ve opened the door now, don’t let it close


Boredom had overcome me once more inside the Deathtrap Riverbed. It seemed that Santico was caring less and less about his duties towards the herd. Not very wise while Omen is around... A smirk came to my muzzle with that thought. Ah, Omen...That stallion whose blood ran colder than any I have met before, surely sending chills down spines with his devilishly handsome looks and manipulative words. I grunted, my auds flicking back to bury themselves beneath my spiraled tresses as I shook my head roughly to try and kick the thoughts from my mind. I couldn't get attached to Omen, I know I shouldn't become attached to anyone. But it was odd, something about Omen was bringing back the flirtatious side of me, without the murderous outcomes.
I knew it wasn't exactly the most intelligent thing to do around Omen, and I understood that I was digging myself a grave if I thought I could handle anything to do with him. But with all the bull I've taken that's already harden my heart this far, surely I can take any damage Omen could do. Sadly enough I am beginning to trust Omen not to inflict any damage though, not upon me at least. Though it could have to do with our understandings of one another, for the most part we were equally matched in different ways.

I’m here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I’m only one step away
from turning it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe

Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me
Make my heart a better place

Only problem was that growing feelings were starting to effect me in more ways than one. For example, Rossa's own games were starting to annoy me. While the appearance of the beauty 'Lady Bella' had downright pissed me off, not once have I let it show though. So, along with boredom, I felt the need to escape the herd for a while, and head to one of the areas I was allowed to go to as a herd member. The common lands. My journey had taken me quite some time to get here, and the need to get away had dissappeared with each step. By the time I reached these lands, I was calm and collected, though foolishly my thoughts were still focused upon Omen, not helping to calm any anger I still held towards him, or anyone else.

Taking a look around for any signs of life in the dying lands of Hopeless Hearts, I waited for anything to happen or anyone to show up. I was bored out of mind, and needed something to do or someone to talk too. I had tried speaking with Omen, but he dissappeared. I almost took a chance with the claiming grounds, since my so called 'King' Santico had left as well. But I remembered my luck with the last time I was there, and thought against it. Though it would be interesting put up another fight against a stallion that thought he was worth far more than he really was. Cold hazel eyes stared out from beneath my spiralling forelock, pawing at the dirt impatiently for anything to happen.

I tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away, don’t break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don’t tear me down

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place

Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me
Make my heart a better place
Make my heart a better place

Lyrics by Within Temptation

[Horsegirl]

<sub>"Black.

"Who ever thought of the color black? I mean, it's natural, but they say that it's never pure black, there's always a hint of another color. Or maybe that's white. Ah well. But still, it's a strange color. Always associated with darkness, with evil. Maybe it's because things fear the dark. Because dark is black. Except when the moonlight shines down and things turn white-ish. Then it's different. But still. It's like, what if things were reversed? Yellow was blue, white was black? What then? Then white would be evil and black good? Is that how it works now, people? Who really cares, anyways? I mean, who even though of the color 'black?' Who though of the name? In fact, who thought of anything? We could all just point or something, and they'd know what we were talking about. But who would define 'point?' Or 'talk?' Or 'define?' Geez, now I'm rambling. But still, who though of the concept black?"

Such were the musings of a particular sun-kissed brute that happened to come upon the commons at the same time as the, coincidentally, black she-equine. The particular subject was there because of his thoughts on his darkness. But who could blame him? Though he was a rather disgusting beast, he was prone to philosophical thinking, one of the drawbacks of his loneliness. Brooding on his lonesome, for hours at a time, pondering over the meaning of the term "swayback," or why "black" was called that. Perhaps it was his short childhood. Maybe his tendency to do unlawful things. Who really knew, and why would they care? It was simply the cure that they were after.

Now he was at a stately trot, covering ground simply, surveying the land for signs of any other life. Unlike others that he knew existed, he could not speak to other races. Squirrels, birds, wolves: all were out of his verbal reach, even bovine. But what was the point? Squirrels most likely were obsessed with their stores, birds too alert to have much of a conversation, and wolves were his sworn enemies. And insects, well, they were too small and voices too high to hear and have patience with. So that didn't leave much. But again, who cared? There was enough horseflesh in the world for him, and if there wasn't enough to his liking, he could always make more.

Thorns flicked forward at once at the appearance of a silhouette on the horizon. Light brown orbs blinked once, slowly, seeming that this was a mirage. But no, it was a true being, and femme, as it appeared, though the frame seemed slightly brute-like. Ignoring her for the time being, the stal made a wide circle around, aiming to come up to her shoulder or flank. It took longer than he had wanted, and by the time he had arrived at the original destination, she had moved off. Changing his point of interest, he quickly caught up to her, sidling up to the fae, coming within inches of her obsidian pelt. "Midame," he spoke, slowly and with a tint of an East Coast accent. "Why would you be here? There's better places to go than this grassland." He kept his darker side down, preferring to get to know her and her strengths and weaknesses before attempting anything....dastardly. Setting his gaze upon the horizon, he made a pretense of disinterest, almost totally ignoring her. Almost.</sub>

[sassaboo]

Auds flicked back to catch the hoof falls of an approaching equine before pinning themselves in warning, nares widened to catch that it was a stallion approaching, my ever burning hatred towards them rising once more. As the golden stag came up to my side, I glared at him coldly while gracefully sidestepping away from him. Nearly a hand taller than me, though my pure Friesian bloodlines made me appear more musclular than him, despite my curves. As he spoke, I studied how he kept looking away from me as though in boredom. Ignoring it, I kept true to my distrust of stallions and stayed aware of every word and movement he made. "Indeed, but there are worse places to be as well. As for myself, my home fell apart, and boredom brought me here."

[Horsegirl]

_{Aud twitched to catch the dame's words, then went back to its normal place. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched ears go back and muscles tense as she stepped from him. Fine. She could do that. He truly had no problem, as long as she didn't do anything too physically daring. Then he would most likely have to put her in her place, and none too nicely. A quick sprint to the grove could work. He shoved the thoughts from his mind as he stepped out once, making himself relax, hopefully without her noticing. "The place has been doing that lately," came the retort. "Leads gone, members bored and deserting their former homes. What a shame. They're not real leads, I tell you, not those that would do that." Who cared if he was wrong or went against her? This was testing the ground he was on, or the ice, for those cold-homed draughts. They were crazy to live there. But he should find a home first, before he started dissing others'. He finally looked at her, noticing the finery of her bod. h, how he would love to have her as his. But not yet. He tried to forget the thoughts as soon as they passed his mind, to keep a "symptom" from arriving at his front door, so to speak.}

[sassaboo]

Though the stallion felt free to relax, I did not. For a moment I almost missed the company of Onyx, feeling more comfortable around him than I did with any other stallion. But nothing I could do could fix that now, and I was stuck with the company of a stallion who had yet to introduce himself. In turn, I would refuse to offer my name until her offered his. I gave a sarcastic snort to his comment, in a sense agreeing with him. "I never said they were..." Well, Santico surely hadn't been a leader. Always focused on his little pet and was hardly around at other times. "And your reason for being here?"

[Horsegirl]

_{Brow arched at her comment and sarcasm. "Did she really have to play this hard to get? I mean, wouldn't it be easier to just play along with my advances? Wasn't that what mares did? Their sole job in life, to accept the other sex's advances and to provide them with children? Clearly this lady isn't doing her job. But I digress." Her next reply got the fire in him blazing, just a few sparks, but eager to become a true wildfire. And your reason for being here? Hah, wouldn't you like to know! Truly, he'd like nothing more than to tell her the real reason, and then be nipping her hindquarters the whole way to his /favorite/ place, but he couldn't do that. Too dangerous. So he settled for a simple answer. "Not much of one. Very simply something to do, seeing as the rest is nearly deserted." Catching her tense appearance, he smiled on the corner that was away from the lady, and spoke again. "Forgive me, my manners are not what they used to be." They were never there. "I have a complicated name, one which you would not appreciate hearing, so Chance will have to do for now. And you?"}

[sassaboo]

His answer wasn't much, but I had heard worse. I paid careful attention to every move he made, made note of every tone of each word he spoke. Something was not right about him, and I know you may be thinking that it is because I am always against stallions, but something seems different about him. I couldn't place my hoof on it, but I was not going to risk any chances like I had done in the past. I raised my dome while listening to him explain why he would not mention his full, if not real, name. Psh, I have become associates with those who have far worse names than that, and some with the personality to match. Narrowing my eyes, I decided to not give him the 'mercy' he had given me to shorten his name.

Several equines of the land knew my full name by now, though many knew me by my shortened name. He was a stranger to the lands though, and it was possible he had not heard of the tales of the pretty little mare who ignored the offerings of stallions, or fought their forced attempts with an equal amount of strength. Former Queen of Sylveria, Loner of Hopeless Hearts, Victim of Agni, Foe of Onyx and every other living stallion that thought he could get away with taming me. "Though you may think you have done me a favor to not shock a Lady with a name, in which you obviously think would set me into a worse state than I am now, you have not. I will call you Chance if you wish, but I will not shorten my own name to make you feel any safer. Anyways, my full name is Beautiful Disaster. To make things more simple, I am mostly known as Disaster."

I took one step closer to the brute with a cold glare in my eyes, my fear mostly gone and replaced by my rage towards stallions, anger at fools, and disliking of generally everything in between. "Let you be warned now, it won't matter of any little game you play with me, I can almost garauntee you that I will win. Don't think you can fool me," I muttered in a bitter tone, eyeing him up and down before looking him in the eye once more. "There isn't a damned stallion placed in this hell-hole that can prove me wrong, every stallion is the same. Forgive me of stereotypes but it is true, and I will let you know now that I will treat you no differently than I treat all of the others."

[sassaboo]

((HG?))

[Horsegirl]

_{Her onslaught was met by Chance stopping suddenly, sliding back on his haunches and backing his head away from the glowering face of Disaster. So that was why she had been so unforgiving with him. Penned-up hate over other brutes. Clearly a victim of abuse, or forcers, he could tell. Would take some work to get past that shield of hatred toward his kind. He smiled as she spoke,flicking his ears forward but not truly listening. "There's nothing to fear from me, dear," he said when she had finished her rant. "Simply come to pass the time, is all. I have no intentions of hurting you or anything else. You don't have to drop your guard, of course, but you can trust you. I'll respect you, you respect me. Do we have a deal?" Personally, this was what he wanted out of any mares in his harem. Sure, he would eventually have much of it composed of those who were low-level, willing to give him whatever he wanted, whenever. Simply living blissfully, always with a foal alongside. Sired by him, of course. But these wild ones.....they were the ones he would spend his time with. The exciting ones, that made life worthwhile. Not quite the baby-producers either. More of the "let's chat, let's have fun" kind. Oh, if he ever got the black, it would be a wonderful time of it. Which was why he had to be careful now. He couldn't let it show that he was interested in her. Stay on her good side, she'd stay on his as well.}

[sassaboo]

I kept my icy glare upon him, staring sternly up at him from beneath my forelock. My ears were still pinned back, but I stepped back from the brute. His words were empty to me, held no meaning whatsoever. Words can be manipulated to say the prettiest things to make one believe a hideous lie, and they were of little comfort to me. There's nothing to fear from me, dear... His lack of using my name fueled my anger. Little did he know he was giving me more hints and proof to why stallions were all the same. I had seen that game before, stallion used 'sweet-talk nicknames' for the mares they met. It was so they could gain your trust, but in most cases, they were just trying to avoid confusing your name with anothers... At least, that was my opinion. "That's what they all say." My words were cold, full of hatred and distrust, but my tone was quiet. I raised a brow at him as he asked if we had a deal, giving him a looked that fully expressed 'you can't be serious'. I shook my dome, lashing my tail. I wanted to go home, but since the lands had changed, I knew my home would change. More stallions were bound to show up, dark ones who didn't give a damn about the mares of the herd. Well, guess it was a good thing I was there. I'd slain stallions larger than this 'Chance' fellow, and if need-be, I'd do it again without a second thought. "I don't make deals or promises with stallions, they always break them anyways." My tone was less angered, but by no means was my gaurd let down. I wanted to go home, see what was up with the new members and see what I'd have to deal with. But I did not want to turn my back to this brute...

[sassaboo]

((I think I'll just bring Disaster to the Riverbed, she'll be SO thrilled to see him there, lol...))