Girl you just can’t dance forever, diary of Sage Fire

[sage fire]

I think the moon is much more glorious then the sun. It is so radiant and silky as it rests in its velvety blanket of night sky decorated with stars. In comparison the sun is much too bright and I cannot look at it for more then a few minutes even with my elf eyes. I wonder if in reality the sun is more beautiful then the moon but we can not tell because our eyes are to week to gaze upon its brilliance. When I asked Vincin his opinion on the matter he said I was more gorgeous then the sun and the moon combined a charming thing to say but not very helpful. I must think more on this matter.

Vincin did the most amazing thing last night. He picked a closed flower and cupped it in his hands. His eyes narrowed and they sort of gleamed and then the flower slowly opened reviling a fairy made of swirling light. It rose in the most delicate manner and began to dance round and round faster and faster until it melted away. Vincin gave the flower to me and when I asked how he had done it he tried to explain but I was soon lost. He has such magic it astonishes me. The things he can do.

If only I could get him to join the Rebellion. I am positive that Roheir wouldn’t stand a chance against Vincin’s magic. Yet every time I bring up the anything about the Rebellion he stops me and says he doesn’t wish to hear of it. I am confused by his strange behavior but I will not argue about it. If he doesn’t want me to speak of the rebellion to him then I shan’t.

[sage fire]

The sky had a nerves breakdown last night. Galleons of heart tears just fell down in sheets of pent up emotions. It kept me awake for hours but I didn’t mind even the sky needs to let it all out sometimes.

Luckily it let up by the time I went to meet Vincin, but there was mud everywhere. I had to walk most delicately to avoid falling in the goop. Vincin was also being most cautious and we hardly dare move for fear of losing our balance.

I slipped first. The mud poured over me as if to engulf me whole. Then Vincin jumped right in there with me. We started a mud fight and then we had to build a mud castle and on and on. I haven’t played in the mud for years it was so enjoyable and Vincin even laughed a few times. He has the loveliest laugh but it is slightly rusty from lack of use.

After some time of frolicking in the muck the rain picked up again as if trying to cleanse us but only managing in making it worse then ever. I tilted my head back to catch the drops on my lashes. When I looked back at Vincin he was gazing at me with such a warm and undying love that I knew nothing could ever make me love him any the less. Then we kissed in the rain and the mud. So romantic.

I was a mess when I returned back to the Rebellion and got a good talking to from Dusk. She couldn’t believe that I had gone playing in the mud and I felt a little silly. I had a long hot bath and a change of cloths and know am feeling all warm inside but I think it is from more then my wash. I can still see the way he looked at me. My heart is mending.

[sage fire]

Vincin gave me a gift. A pet a large pet. He looks like some kind of wolf only I’ve never seen a wolf this big. His shoulders are above my waist. I can even ride him for short periods of time. He has this thick black fur and intelligent silver eyes. I named him Riplackish. It seems so weird that Vincin would give me such a best. What is weirder still is Vincin’s insistence that I keep Riplackish near me at all times. I think he mean Rip to protect me but from what I have no idea. Its not that I don’t want Riplackish on the contrary I really like him. I just wish he was cuddly and less intimidating

[sage fire]

There is something horribly wrong with Vincin. He was in such a state today I could barley calm him down long enough for him to tell me what was upsetting him. It seems that someone stole something of great value to him. I have never seen Vincin like this he is always very composed but he just couldn’t hold himself together. He was angry as well, poor soul. I wonder what it is that was stolen from him. He didn’t stay very long he said he had to work at retrieving the item do a search for it using magic or something I do hope he finds it.

[sage fire]

I’ll use my knife to pierce my skin and pry out these broken pieces of pain called my heart. Maybe that will make the sorrow end. I need someone to hold me close and tell me it’s alright but the only one who can do that is supposed to be my enemy. I love him. I love him. I love him. I love Roheir the Shadow. Let me die. He loves me back I know that was not a lie. He truly loves me. We might have gone on together had it not been for others trying to interfere. That’s what happens when people try to help they just make it worse. My tears are thick as blood and my breath is jagged and untamed. My head swims like the sea and I feel a cold creeping exhaustion sinks over me. I need help. I need him. It’s their fault I can’t be with him. They made him leave me, but I have to trust he loves me still. I have to listen for his voice on the wind. When he calls me I will go because love is stronger then any hate, but until then I’m forced to sit and watch my heart break.

[sage fire]

I looked at the ring today. The one Roheir threw to me before he left. It appears to be just plan metal. It’s so complicated I can’t stand to look at it to long without getting a headache. It is made up of a bunch of different treads that twist and twin together so tightly I lose track of each thread. It slips right off my thumb so I wear it on a silver chain around my neck. One day I might find out what it is for.

[sage fire]

I’ll beat my fists upon these prison walls until they crack and bleed my sorrow away. Then stab the breath out of these dreams that only bring me harm. I’ll rip the sun out of the sky and hide it where it cannot shine. Then use the darkness for my cloak and disappear from everyone. Things are whirling round and round yet I still can’t get dizzy. I cut my heart into shreds and it still loves him. Pick me up and throw me down. Let me sink to the endless bottom. I’ll dive underwater and never resurface until all of this is over.