The Ultimate Review Thread Of Doom, Starring Link, Sora, and Kroed

Blah, just stuff I do when I get bored.

StarFox Assault

Gameplay - It starts out fun, but it slowly gets boring. The first level is one of the only good air battles. Then after that, there's a couple land missions, which aren't exactly the most fun things in the game. Land missions consist of finding targets and destroying them, while trying to get past everything in between. It can be horribly repetitive. There are only 10 missions, none of which are very hard on either of the difficulties, so it's gonna take you under three hours on any setting. All in all, there's not enough air missions, the ones they have mostly suck, and the land missions get boring.

Gameplay - 5/10

Graphics - They're actually pretty good. They make all the environments look really good, especially the space battles.

Graphics - 9/10

Sound - Also pretty good. The music fits the situations, plus the exploding noises, the shooting noises, etc. It's all good.

Sound - 9/10

Multiplayer - This is probably the best part of the whole game. Although, there's nothing you can do but kill each other in deathmatches, you can still alter the rules for the matches. I.E. Make it so you can kill your opponents in one hit and vice versa. There's also A LOT of stuff to unlock, most of which you'll have to play a rather ridiculous amount of Vs. Mode Matches to get. The actual stages you can pick from can be rather fun, but like Story Mode, it can get repetitive. Even so, Vs. Mode can provide a good bit of entertainment...for about a half an hour, then you'll most likely get bored of it.

Multiplayer - 7.5/10

Overall, StarFox Assault is a good game if you wanna kill about three hours on story mode, it'll take much longer to get everything in VS Mode though. It wasn't exactly the greatest StarFox game, and I'm hoping that someday, they'll come out with one as good as SF 64, but with the features Assault had.

Super Smash Brothers Melee

Gameplay: Woo, where to start. Well, first off, the gameplay is simplistic, yet fun. Sure, all you basically do is just beat the crap out of each other, but it's done in a really fun way. The characters all have varied attacks, styles, combos, etc. Some have swords, some have blasters, some use energy shots, and some just plain use their fists. Well, moving on. Next, we have the trophy factor. This is truly an interesting feature. The trophies usually are of characters, buildings, and vehicles from other games. The main way to get trophies is usually buying them from the Trophey Lottery using the coins you've earned in the battles. There's roughly 250 trophies that are collectable throughout the game. There's also a few trophies that can be unlocked, which brings me to my next point; the unlockables. There's a lot, including stages, trophies, and characters. It's rather hard to unlock everything. And it WILL take you many hours, which means you'll be spending time getting characters, stages, etc. However, it can get rather repetitive, considering there's nothing to do but fight and beat the snot out of the other player. But hey, what game doesn't get repetitive after a while?

Gameplay - 9.5/10

Graphics: The graphics are really good, especially for an early GameCube game. All the stages have great environments, and are really well done. Some of the stages are also somewhat interactive. For example, in one of the Hyrule areas, the turtle goes underwater and comes up every now and then. Kinda crappy example, but it works. All of the items and explosions and such all look good as well.

Graphics - 10/10

Sound: The music is pretty good. The character's theme songs and the stage themes are very fitting. Although, the voices for some of the characters are slightly odd. Example: Falco's voice is oddly deep. It should be slightly higher.
But other than some kinda strange voices, the sound's pretty good.

Sound - 9/10

Overall: SSBM is one of the best fighting video games ever. Considering it was one of the first GameCube games that is. It's got enough in it to keep you playing for awhile. All the stages, trophies, and characters will definitly take you some time. Although, you may get bored after a while. But don't worry, you should get back into it in about a week.

Final Score: 9.5/10

Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones

Story/Gameplay: The story starts off in the continent of Magvel. One of the regions in the continent, Grado, suddenly attacks the Kingdom of Renais. This is a surprise to Renais, and the region is quickly defeated. However, one of the main characters, Princess Eirika, manages to escape the castle before it falls. As the game progresses, you get many more allies, each with their own unique skills. Eventually, you learn that a creature called the Demon King is trying to be ressurected by Grado's prince, Lyon, who is actually possesed by the Demon King. Shortly after that, you meet up with Eirika's brother Ephraim. After the two meet, they almost immediatley split up again, one going to warn the country of Rausten of the threat of Grado and the Demon King, and the other attempting a full scale attack on the Grado Castle. The thing that interests me with this game, and what really makes it better than the first one here in the US, is the fact that you can move freely around the map. Another good feature is that there are two places where you can freely level up your characters, meaning you can enter a battle and retreat if things get rough. Yet another feature is Support Conversations. during battles, characters can randomly have these conversations, thus increasing their support level. They can go from C to B to A in support level. If they have at least a C in level, they get stat bonuses whenever they're within three spaces of each other. The higher the level, the greater the bonuses. Of course every game has it's downsides. For this game, it's the fact that EVERY weapon breaks. This seems stupid to me, because not only do conventional weapons break, but also the "Sacred" weapons as well. What kind of sacred weapon breaks? Look at the Master Sword (Leged of Zelda) for example. Another thing that bothers me is the fact that unlockable characters seemingly can't be used in the link arena. This still needs further testing on my part however. But other than those few flaws, this is a very excellent game, story wise and gameplay wise.

Gameplay/Story: 9.0

Graphics: The graphics are unique in this game. Whenever characters talk with eachother throughout the game, it only shows their upper torsos, mainly the chest and head. These have been called "portraits" by many who play the game. I personally think it's a nice touch. As for the overall world, everything looks somewhat low tech, but when you actually get into battle, it gets somewhat more detailed.

Graphics: 8/10

Sound: I personally like the music for this game. It's your somewhat average GBA RPG music, but it's still pretty decent.

Sound: 8/10

Misc. Features:

Link Arena: This is basically a place where you can pit your units from either of your three save files agains someone else's, or practice against your own. It's pretty customizable, you can select units to ultimatley make a team of 5, and then give your team a name. Pretty fun.

Link Arena: 8.5/10

Support Conversation Log: This too is a pretty great feature. It saves the support conversations your characters have had, and you can watch them whenever you want.

Support Convo Log: 8/10

Sound Room: Pretty Straight Forward. Basically listen to all the sounds and music from the game.

Sound Room: 8/10

Overall: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones is an excellent game with pretty good features, but some flaws. Thankfully, this is one of those games where the good outweighs the bad. Big time. This is definitly a game worth buying.

Final: 9.5/10

Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance

Gameplay:

The story to this game is somewhat EXACTLY like the story to Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones, except with differenct characters, lands, etc. In this one, the story takes place on the continent of Tellius, where everyone is living in peace and blah blah blah. It starts off with the main character, Ike, sparing with his father, who is the leader of a mercenary band in the territory of Crimea. After a few minor missions, the band of mercenaries discover that the neighboring land of Daein is attacking Crimea. After a quick battle with Daein forces, the group finds a young woman in the woods nearby. She later reveals that she is the Princess of Crimea and managed to flee the castle before Daein found her. She then asks the mercenaries to assist her in trying to take back Crimea.

Though it sounds somewhat easy, it's not. There are many many battles to go through and they can be very challenging. The game has three difficulty settings, so if you're looking for a huge ass challenge, pick Difficult mode, obviously. The game's concept of fighting large amounts of forces pretty much the same as the other two games. Weapons break after a while, your units are gone for good if they die, etc. An interesting feature of this game is the fact that you can forge custom weapons if you get sick of the average ones. It's very customizable, you can choose weight, attack, critical hit chance, etc. However, it's hella expensive, so consider if it's really worth it before making one. Yet another interesting feature is the Bonus Experience. It's great for leveling up mages/healers/other weak units easily. However, it comes in somewhat small amounts, so use it wisely.

All in all, the gameplay and the story are exactly what you'd expect from a Fire Emblem game. GREAT AS HELL YO.

Gameplay: 9/10





Graphics:

The graphics are freaking kick ass. It's great to see Fire Emblem off the pixelated blahness of the GBA and on to the awesomeness of the Cube. I'm certainly looking forward to more GameCube Fire Emblem Games.

Graphics: 10/10




Sound:
I personally like the music for this game. There's certain battle music I find quite amusing to listen to. It's stuff you'd expect from a war game.

Sound: 8/10




Misc Stuff:

As usual, there's always unlockables with Fire Emblem Games. The usual stuff accompanies this one, art, music, characters, and a new feature: trial maps.

I have one problem with this however.

The unlockable characters are shit, period. The first one is a useless bishop that was fought in Chapter 17, and was killed in two measley hits. The second one is the father of another unit in the main game, and is a Wyvern Lord. Mediocre at best. The third is a pathetic excuse for a paladin, who, like the bishop, can be defeated very easily. The fourth is a general, whose exact power I'm not sure of. And the fifth and final unlockable, is the final boss himself, who is probably the only unlockable who isn't a steaming pile of shit.

Misc Stuff: 5/10




Overall:

Overall, Fire Emblem: Path Of Radiance is an excellent game. The graphics and the storyline go well together, as does the gameplay and the sound of the game. In my opinion, THE best Fire Emblem game to date in the U.S.

Overall: 9/10

Silent Hill 4: The Room (X-Box)


7/10

Graphics- Okay, first let it be known, that this game is DARK. Dark locales, dark rooms, etc. In general, everything looks good. Key word there is GOOD. Some textures are oddly bad, and there are some odd "popping" lines and similar things. Overall though, everything looks good. Enemies are very eerie, except sometimes in the way they move. They seem to glitch ahead sometimes. or run into walls. The enviroments on the other hand, look very nice, with, as mentioned before, some bad textures. The coolest part of the graphics is when you get near a ghost, the screen goes grainy and seems to pulse. Cutscenes usually have some sort of "old crappy movie effect" with floaters and other things going across the screen. I think the game would look much better, if you haven't played Resident Evil 4 before playing this, which brings us to our next problem.

5/10

Gameplay- Standard Survival horror, right down to the fixed camera angles. This is a pain in the arse, because enemies have a tendecy to come from where you can't see them. This may have been done to improve the scare factor, but after playing for 3 hours, I had never once jumped because of that. Mostly, it's irritating. Another problem with the gameplay is combat. It's similar to the old Resident Evils, as in "lock on, shoot/bash, enemy falls, shoot/bash, enemy dies". It's very aggravating, ecspecially since enemies seem to NEVER DIE. It takes what seems like 50 hits with a pipe to put down a ghost. Overall, the combat is clunky, and very,very irritating. Speaking of irritating: The game gives you NO indication on what to do. At all. You basically walk around looking for something that will trigger you to "wake up" from your "dream". This is aggravating, due to the clunky controls, and sometimes almost invisible items. Did I mention you must be PERFECTLY placed to use an item too? A step off, nothing happens. This will no doubt anger many gamers. The interface is also very clunky, with weapons sometimes unequpping themselves. So, the gameplay is utter crap compared to Resident Evil 4. Low scare factor, clunky controls, and crappy combat make the game sub-par when compared to most other survival horror games.

7/10

Sound- There isn't much sound in the game. Footsteps, groans, and yells of pain are all you'll be hearing. Music is a rarity, and is decent when it plays. The voice acting is....well, fine, although it was developed in Japan, so it's not by any means great.


5/10

Overall- The bad gameplay kills this game. I played for 6 hours, and quit, due to frustration and boredom. It doesn't compare to RE4, and is maybe worth a rental, but only if nothing else is around. So unless you're a fan of the series, don't play this game.

I bought it in the bargain bin after Christmas for PS2 and have yet to play it.

Trade it in or sell it to a friend or something. You're not missing much. :/

Trade it in or sell it to a friend or something. You're not missing much. :/

Hell no! I paid $4.99 for that bastage.

Trade it in or sell it to a friend or something. You're not missing much. :/

Hell no! I paid $4.99 for that bastage.

You could probably get $6 on trade-in, if you go to the right place.

Soldier of Fortune 2: Double Helix

1.5/10

Graphics- My eyes..... I cut the game some slack for being made back in 02, but it wasn't exactly very pretty back then. Lo-res textures, glitches, bad player models, muddy enviroments, a constant fog when outside, sparse enviroments, no enviromental damage what so ever, and crappy bullet impact decals/effects mar this game horribly. Weapons look like N64 models, and bodies fall in unusual ways. The only decent thing about the graphics are when you blow someone's arm off, and even that isn't very cool.

3/10

Gameplay- Run, shoot, get shot, etc. Stupid enemies don't use cover, aim, or look for you, although, once they've seen you(which they can do from miles away), you are instantly shot at(usually by about 15 enemies, who never seem to run out of ammo, although they sometimes drop their weapons when shot, which is about the coolest thing about the game). This isn't a problem though, due to the ridiculous power of your weapons, and the large amount of health/armor you have. Overall, the gameplay is standard shooter fare, circa 1997. There is also a "random mission generator" which creates a sparse enviroment for you to complete set objectives in. You may recover data, assasinate, escape, or sabotage. None of these modes are very fun, with it de-evolving into running around shooting and getting shot at.

1/10

Sound- Wow....the main charachters voice is well done, but enemies only grunt and gurgle, and sometimes yell some foreign language when they see you. The sound quality is bad, with very forgettable sound effects. Guns sound wimpy, and you get some weird clunking noise when you get shot while wearing body armor. It'd be better just to turn the sound off entirely. I'd assume I'd get better sound quality by using one of those can/string walkie talkies to listen to music...while on the moon and underwater.


2/10

Overall- A boring, generic, bad looking, outdated, piece of crap. It may have redeemed itself a TINY bit, if I could have found ANYONE playing it on Xbox Live. At least I could have shot some cocky asian kid who has a shitty taste in FPS's. Oddly mindless for about 10 minutes, then you get tired of shooting the same enemies in the crotch over and over. Avoid this game, unless given to you. Even then, trading it in for $1 is probably better time spent than playing it.

I haven't reviewed something in a long time, so Imma review Devil May Cry 3: Special Edition.

To start off, DMC3 SE is basically the original, with some pretty large upgrades. Before continuing, I'll go into what's changed:

-New Playable Character
-New Continue System
-New Survival Mode
-Cutscene viewer
-New Boss
-New Costumes for the two characters
-Some really subtle graphic improvments
-Adjusted Difficulties

It may not seem like much, but it's a lot when you get into it. All right then, on to gameplay.

Gameplay: This is pretty much where the game shines. From Mission One, all the way to Mission Twenty, you're thrown into some pretty intense battles, (don't expect this if you're playing easy mode however), and it can be frustrating at times. But it's definitly awesome if you want some challenges and you're tired of everything being too easy. If you have the original Devil May Cry 3 save data on you disk, you'll unlock the new character (Dante's brother Vergil), and the survival mode (Bloody Palace). Otherwise, you'll have to clear the game on Normal Mode with Dante to unlock Vergil and BP. From the start screen, you can choose whether to play as Dante or Vergil. From then on, you can choose your continue system; Gold Orbs or Yellow Orbs. Gold Orb Mode gives you infinite continues, and purchasing a Gold Orb and having it with you if you die will cause you to revive on the spot, whereas with Yellow Orb Mode, you have to go back to a certain checkpoint. When all this is done, you can start the game. Playing as Dante can be fun, but longtime fans of the series will be more interested in playing as Vergil. But we'll get to him in a minute. If you chose to play as Dante, you'll get an extremely customizable character. To do certain tactics, the game has a Style system, which gives any thing involving the circle button a move exclusive only to that style. As time goes on, the styles will level up and more moves for the style will be available. Dante also has various swords and guns, each having their own unique use. Overall, Dante is a very complex character, and getting used to all his styles will take some time, but you'll have a lot of fun trying to figure everything out. Now we go to Vergil. Vergil controls MUCH MUCH MUCH differently from Dante, and has only one style. However, as Dante can get up to 5 swords, Vergil only has 3, but, in turn, he starts off with them and can wield all three of them at once. Vergil also doesn't use guns, but rather, he uses magically generated Phantom Swords as his projectile attack. While Vergil seems to have less weapons and only one style, he is much more powerful than Dante. But, keeping with the balance factor, he is also harder to master. Vergil doesn't have many moves for one weapon alone, which will cause you to have to learn to use his three weapons in conjunction with each other to have him at the peak of his perfomance in battle. Some things to note with Vergil are that he does not have his own story, just a prolouge, and only goes through the levels that Dante does without any story. This hardly matters, as Vergil is extremely fun to play as even without a story. Overall, Dante and Vergil control very differently, but each is still very fun to play as. Another note is that both have access to Bloody Palace. Bloody Palace is a very intruiging survival mode. There's no objective here except to kill all the enemies, which is much more fun than it sounds. The Palace spans 10,000 floors, but you may not really find a challenge until around levels 7,000 - 9,999, when the enemies get more powerful and start coming in larger groups. There are also boss fights every one thousand floors. For those worrying that you have to claw your way to the top floor by floor, relax. There are three portals once a floor is cleared; A water portal, a lightning portal, and a fire portal. The water portal will take you up one floor, and will give you a green orb, which will recover your health. The lightning portal will take you up 10 floors, and will give you a white orb which will refill your Devil Trigger gauge. The Flame Portal will take you up 100 floors, but will give you nothing. Overall, the gameplay is really great. There's lots to do and unlock, like bonus costumes, art, videos, etc. The requirements to getting some of the art can be ridiculous, but most of it comes easily.

Gameplay - 10/10

Graphics - The graphics are very slightly grainy, and there's some slight clipping, but overall, they're pretty good, and as I've said before, there's some really subtle improvements in the graphics department of the game.

Graphics: 8/10

Sound: The music and noises are exactly the same as the last game, with some slight remixes here and there. The game's music is mostly rockish, with some slight Castlevania sounding stuff in there every now and then. So if you can't stand hearing a guitar riff during most cutscenes and most fights, then get over it, because it's not worth it to disregard a game because of some slightly cheesy music.

Sound: 9/10

Overall: Devil May Cry 3: Special Edition is an excellent game with a lot of new content, and it's definitly worth the budget price of $20. Whether you're a long time fan of the series, or just getting into it, this is definitly worth your time. It's also very worth purchasing, because no weekend rental is big enough for this game. If you have a PS2, buy this. Seriously. You won't be sorry.

Overall: 9.5/10

STAR FOX 64 (Imma review this like it's new, and N64 is still the hot shit console)


8/10

Graphic- Fairly nice for an N64 game. Explosions are decent, the water reflects, and your lasers leave decals on the ground. Enemie ships are simplistic, with them moving in patterns and exploding the same way each time. Bosses are nicely detailed, with most sporting cool weapon effects. The framerate stutters sometimes, usually after you launch a bomb, and fly through the blast. Overall, very nice for an early N64 game, considering the amount of activity going on.

10/10

Gameplay- I loved this game from the second I started playing. Sure, it's a railed-shooter most of the time (A few levels/boss battles put you on a 360 degree battlefield) It doesn't take much strategy to avoid getting killed, it's more about following paterns and laying down a constant barrage of laser fire. Sure, it may seem mindless talking about it, but when you're actually playing it, it's the best thing in the world. I'm not kidding, it's probably some of the most fun you'll have on the N64. Sure, the bosses can be incredibly easy to beat,(yellow weak points anyone?) but sometimes the sheer number of enemy ships that swarm you will be enough to kill you. There are numerous unlockables, such as: Vs. Stages, Medals, and the expert mode. Expert mode is similar to the main game in every way, except for MORE enemies, and you die about 3x quicker now. Expert mode also allows you to earn medals, and there is a high score list for each stage, in case your friends play it. Let me tell you, getting every medal in the main game takes skill, and time. Overall, one of the most fun games ever

9.5/10

Sound- GREAT sound, for an N64 game. The voices of the various pilots are annoying, but well acted. Explosions and the like are all very nice too. Also, the music is VERY good.

15/10

Overall- One of the top 3 games on the 64. Only annoyance is dumb ass co-pilots who get chased by one enemy and can't seem to do anything you do to get away from it. BUY IT/PLAY IT/REPLAY IT

(SUPER Brief Review)

Super Monkey Ball Deluxe Edition

7/10

Graphics- Nothing special, although they fit. Arcadey. Nice enviroments.

9.5/10

Gameplay- Roll the monkey from point A to Point B. Hard as hell on higher levels.

1/10

Sound- Wow, they found the most annoying sound for a monkey EVER, and the music is standard Japanese funky/crappy/trance/xylophone music. Ouch

8/10

Overall- Quick fun, ecspecially when you have a friend to make fun of while playing it. Buy it or rent first.

Welcome to my review thread, I will be basing my reviews on the following catagories:

Gameplay
Story
Audio
Graphics
Replay Value.


List of Reviews:
Metroid Prime Hunters

You wouldn't be amazed at how I won't read any of this.