&GoingUnder

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

"You put me back together when everyone else had gave up. You was there when everyone, including my best friends, had gaven up on me. You understand me like no one else. You was slowly becoming my best friend, and even though I got Burke I still need you" Cristina explained to Owen. Listening to him as he contiuned to speak, it broke Cristina's heart. She had no idea how much Owen really loved her until this moment. "My kids adore you, especally Hazel. Just Owen...please don't leave" Cristina begged, tears starting to form in her eyes. She was scared, simple as that.

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

"Yeah, I put you back together and now your leaving" he told her. "How am I supposed to deal with a huge blow like that?" he asked and sighed. Owen's heart had shattered into millions of pieces. He truly believed it would be the two of them for a long time. It was one day at a time, but he truly felt they were compatible. Even during therapy sessions, he saw how close they were becoming. It had become real for him and now it was nothing. "I'm not okay with this at all, but it's what you want. If you want Burke....I can't stop you." Why was this happening? Was he not good enough? It seemed as though he was just the third wheel in this situation. "Cristina, it's going to be hard....to be around you. I....I can't guarantee anything. I just need my space. I need time to think. I don't know what to do right now. I don't know how to be. I lost a piece of me." Cristina had been the only one there for him. She had been his rock. She had kept him from falling apart and sinking so deep. She completed him and now there was nothing but this deep void in his heart. His blue eyes fixed on her as he inched closer once more. "Just grant me one more thing...one more....just...one more kiss."

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Why was this so hard? Deep down, Cristina knew her heart belonged to Burke; but Owen was the person there when Burke walked out. "I'll always have a special place for you in my heart, always, I could never help how I feel about you. I know this seems so fucked up right now that I can say I do care about you but I'm breaking your heart but it's true" Cristina felt the rain hit her arms as she let out a small chill, still talking to Owen. "We may not be together together but I will still be there for you, always" Cristina whispered, grabbing Owen's hand and sighing. Hearing him ask for one more kiss, Cristina was okay with that, she figured it may help Owen. Leaning in for the kiss, however, Cristina couldn't pull away and once his arms were around her tiny frame she just wanted to stay there forever. "I can't do this" she mumbled between kisses as she slowly pulled away from Owen. "I can't hurt you, not like this"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

This was the hardest thing ever for Owen. He was letting go of her. He had to. There was no other choice. She had chosen Burke and there was no way of changing her mind. Cristina had made her decision and somehow he would have to deal with it. Somehow he would have to cope. Owen had his ways of coping. He had different mechanisms. After all, he was a soldier and he was taught how to quickly black out the unpleasant things. How would he be able to do that for this? This was love. This wasn’t some ugly war. This wasn’t a life or death situation. However, something deep down in him had died the moment Cristina told him it was over. Owen thought that by kissing her one last time it would leave him with some peace. It didn’t. It created this fire within him. God, he wanted to stay so close to those soft lips. He dreaded the end of it. “Cristina…” her lips fell away from his and he felt a deep void, “I can’t let go of you. That is like asking to take my heart out and I won’t do that. Everything….you are a part of me. You…” his lips found hers again…just for a brief second as he pulled away. “I don’t know what to do now. I don’t have a reason.”

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Cristina saw the hurt and pain in Owen's eyes both times they had pulled away after kissing. it killed her how she just broke a man who trusted her with everything in his being. "Owen, I will always be here..." Cristina's voice faded as she finally understood the emotions Burke was feeling the day he left her at the alter. He knew, at the time, it was best for Cristina; like she knows this is the best for Owen. "I will always be here, just not in a lover type of way. But I trust you with my life, and my kids adore you.." Cristina paused as she grabbed Owen's hands "..and there is your reason"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen was silent for a few moments. He was trying to comprehend all of this. It was slowly sinking in for him. He was losing Cristina. He was losing his rock and his everything. It made him feel insecure now that he didn't have her. He still had her but not in the way he wanted it to be. His love for her was strong and undying. No matter how far apart they were he would still love her. No matter what decisions she made....he would still love her. Owen was a man who loved a woman who wanted to be with someone else. It was a low blow. He would have to accept it. "Good night, Cristina" he told her and turned, walking home.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

She did the one thing that she didn't wait to do and that was break Owen's heart. As he said goodnight and walk away, Cristina sighed as she watched him walked away for a minute. Deciding what she wanted to do, it seems like it was a second late rthat she was running oafter Owen, begging him not to leave. "I...I made the wrong choice" she whispered, not knowing what was coming out of her mouth. Did she make the wrong choice? She had no idea what she was saying to Owen, nor what she was thinking. "i love you, don't leave me..please?"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen turned as Cristina was right after him. He furrowed his eyebrows as she told him she had made the wrong choice. "What?" he was confused by the sudden change in her. "What do you mean?" It confused him beyond belief. One minute she was letting him go and the next she was begging him to say. She loved him and didn't want him to leave. "Cristina...this doesn't make sense. You want Burke and now you are admitting to wanting me. You love me you say but...who do you really want?" Owen didn't want to play games anymore. Honestly, he was tired and just wanted a straight answer from her. Did she want him or not? Owen was frozen in his spot. This was hurting his head. "I love you too but...you have to make a decision. It's either Burke or me."

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

cristina knew that owen nor burke deserved the games that cristina was putting them through. however for the first time in her life she was in love with two men; one is the father of her children and one was there when no one else was. 'owen i wish you would understand where i am coming from though. i know that you are sick of the games and honestly i am sick of being confused about who i love. i wish you would just be in my life and be there. that is all i am asking...please owen?' cristina begged as she looked into owen's pain filled eyes

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

"It's hard, Cristina" he said and sighed. "I have to sit back and watch you fall into the arms of another man. It's not easy. I'm connected to you and even though you went back to Burke....I could never hate you. I'm flawed in many ways. I have a crap ton of problems that I'm trying to deal with. It's creating this unbalanced state for me." Owen loved Cristina. He always would no matter who she ended up with. Yes, it was painful. Yes, he felt betrayed in some way but he could never hate her. He would love her for life. "That's asking quite of a bit of me. It's hard to be around you when your with him. However, I will have to accept it. I guess that leaves us off as being friends, right?" Owen didn't want that but what could he say. There was nothing he could say to make her change her mind. It was her decision and he would have to respect that.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Listening as he spoke, Cristina saw the pain in Owen's eyes and heard it in his voice as she was glad that this was turning out much better then she had thought it would. Honestly, Cristina was waiting for Owen to completly blow up and her and him actually getting into a physical fight. However, she got what she wsnted, which was Owen staying in her life; for once she could have her cake and eat it too. Hugging him, she smiled as she looked into Owen's eyes. "Listen Owen, I will never forget what you have done for me, though. You was there when no one else was and for that I will always and forever be grateful, alright? Now can I take you home?"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen didn't like this at all but he would suck it up. It was Cristina's choice of what she wanted. He couldn't make her love him. He couldn't make her stay either. Owen had to accept the fact that things were changing. Some things were just not meant to be. They had a good run. He had to admit he loved every moment of their time together. They had been through some tough things but somehow managed to work through them. He even saw a progression in therapy when they went together. It had been great to have Cristina. She had truly changed him and made him a better man. "Sure. You can take me home" he said and nodded. Owen decided not to say anymore on the current matter. "Come on." He extended his hand out for hers to take.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Cristina smiled when Owen reached his hand out as he waited for hers. Taking his hand, Cristina paused for a second before they started walking, resting her head on his shoulder. "Owen, thanks...just for everything. Honestly I couldn't have done it without you. You may think I could of, but I couldn't. You were my knight in shining...whatever; honestly you still are. I know what I am doing is making no sense to you and honestly it's not to me neither. It's just...with Burke it feels right. I am truly glad you understand" Cristina commented, kissing Owen's cheek as she started walking back towards the hospital to get her car.