&GoingUnder

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen had just finished up a five hour surgery. It had been nothing but a mess. It was a disaster from the beginning. A train accident had brought numerous injured victims into Seattle Grace. Many of them had died on the tables before anything could be done. He had done a fiver hour long surgery on a little girl whose chances of survival were slim. However, they proceeded and she ended up flatlining on the table. It was a huge loss and it felt like a hard kick to the stomach. He tried to think of other things besides that moment. He remembered just staring at her as the sheet was drawn over her dead body. It made him sick.

After work, he headed over to the Emerald City Bar and was downing shots like they were nothing. The alcohol burned as it slid down his throat. Joe was giving him questioning looks, but Owen was not wanting to talk right now. He kept clinking his glass against the counter, wanting Joe to keep refilling. Owen was drunk. He was drunk in the worst way possible. He had let what happened earlier get to him. He was a sad, pathetic drunk right now. "I should really cut you off" Joe told him. Owen glared, "Keep them coming. Don't let me tell you again." That quickly ended the conversation as Owen continued to knock them back.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Cristina was ready to walk out of the door to head home when a scrub nurse caught her at the door and told her about Owen's surgeries earlier. Sighing, she knew exactly where Owen had headed - Joe's. Everytime things have gotten rough lately he's been drinking, and it scares the hell out of her. The fact that she hasn't told him about Burke yet, either, makes the situation even worse.

Texting Burke to ask him to keep the kids overnight, Cristina slowly headed over to Joe's, sighing as she opened the door. She heard Owen tell Joe that he don't need to tell him again, knowing that Joe was once again trying to cut him off from the liquor and beer. Taking a deep breath, Cristina slowly walked towards Owen, slowly putting her hand out to touch his shoulder, her whole body shaking. "O..Owen?"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen tensed as the familar voice of Cristina Yang broke through his thoughts. He stiffened at her touch and knocked back another hard shot of Jack Daniels. "Well...well, look who came strolling in" Owen slurred heavy. He turned his head and glared at Cristina. "The mighty and famous Cristina Yang." His tone was harsh as well as his words. "And what brings you here?" he asked. Owen turned away not really wanting to listen to her comments. "Keep pouring, Joe. Do your fucking job." Joe gave Cristina a weary look and poured Owen another shot. It disappeared in a matter of seconds. "I have to cut you off, Owen. I can't keep pouring and liquoring you up. You've had enough. I won't keep doing what you ask. This is my bar. You are a customer. I tell you when you are done." Owen scoffed, "Screw you." He pulled himself from the chair and stumbled. He tried to grab something to hold onto, but he ended up on the floor with a loud thud.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

As bad as it sounded, Cristina was used to this from Owen lately. It's the keen reason that Hazel and Shaun has been staying at Burke's lately, even if Burke didn't know why. Hearing Joe said he was going to cut Owen off just made Cristina sigh, she knew how this night was going to be. "Joe, just pleas..." Cristina got cut off when Owen had gotten up and fell to the floor. When Joe asked if he needed to call a cab, Cristina shook her head no. "My car is still at the hospital" Cristina answered, bending down to help Owen up. "Come on, let me take you home" she whispered, hoping this was as bad as tonight got.

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen groaned as he hit the floor hard. He looked like an idiot. Everyone was staring at him and quickly making comments. Owen was a pathetic excuse for a man. Lately, he had let every little thing get to him. It caused him to drink in excessive amounts. It was unlike him. He had lost it all. His relationship...whatever it was with Cristina was strained. They were indifferent towards each other. They didn't look at each other the same anymore. Something had died between them and somehow Owen knew it was the end for them. They had their run and it was over. Owen grumbled as Cristina helped him up. He leaned into her, "Just say it" he slurred heavily. "Just say we are done before I completely kill myself. I know were no good together. I know it. I can feel it. We aren't what we were."

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Cristina knew in her heart that he was right, they wasn't what they were, and this is why she is trying it with Burke once more. However, this is not the time nor the place for her and Owen to be talking about this. "It's not important right now if we're together or not" Cristina commented, finishing getting Owen to his feet. "This is not the right time to talk about this. But what we need to talk about it this. I told you to not drink as much. I told you the fight the other night was not your fault either, just like losing the paitents today wasn't either. Things happen, Owen" Cristina said, wishing she would've thought about it more before saying it, because she knew that Owen was going to backfire on her about the comments any time now.

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

“Damn’t it is” he shouted at her. All eyes fell onto Owen from his outburst. He looked at everyone and sighed. His head hung in defeat. Somehow he knew the chemistry between him and Cristina had faded away. They had been distant from each other. They used to be so close. They used to stare at each other so lovingly in the hallways as they passed one another. They had this connection and now it was severed. “Why don’t you admit it? Just put me out of my misery right now.” He looked at Cristina with pleading eyes. “Just say it. I will be alright if you do. It happens. Flings…whatever they happen.” His heart was breaking. “Just save me from all the pain for later. Just tell me now because it’s going to drive me crazy for however many days you plan on not telling me.” Owen pulled away from Cristina and shook his head, “If you won’t say it…then I will…were done.” The words stung him. Had he really said that? “I knew things were too good to be true. Whoever has your heart now, they are lucky and congratulations to them.” Owen felt like he was going to break into millions of pieces. They were over. It didn’t completely comprehend for him yet. He couldn’t say anything else. Instead, he turned and stumbled out the door. He felt the pressure building in him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His mind and heart raced. His purpose…his reason for even being okay these past few months was gone. What did he have now? Nothing…he was such a foolish man.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Why did it kill Cristina? That's the one thing that was going through her mind as she heard Owen speak. If she was going to break up with him, then why did him doing that bug her so much. Watching him stumble outside, she quickly gave Joe some money as she saw Joe's face. "I was suppose to me Burke here in twenty minutes, tell him that I went home early, got sick or something." Cristina saw Joe's face as she just sighed. "It's a long and twisted story, I'll explain in a couple days over a beer or two, just please?" When Joe shook his head yes, Cristina sighed as she quickly ran outside after Owen.

"Wait" she yelled a minute later as she caught up to Owen, who was standing by his car. "I'll be danmed if you are driving home tonight you're beyond drunk. And I know you're upset about the breakup, but my kids love you and I still do, just not like that" Cristina started worrying when she saw Owen's hand become a fist as she touched his shoulder. "Please, just let me take you home"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen was hurt beyond words. He thought that they had something special. Obviously, what they had was over. She had been his rock and everything. She had helped him through the toughest times of his life and now she was gone. His heart broke and he felt like doing something destructive. “Get away from me, Yang” Owen retorted. He pulled away from her hand that rested upon his shoulder. “I don’t need you and you don’t need me obviously. You have Burke now. That’s your life.” Anger coursed through his veins as he slammed his fist into the side of the car. His hand throbbed as it did it repeatedly until he had a busted hand. “Just go away.” Owen couldn’t even think right now. He didn’t know what to feel. He had lost his meaning in life. What could he do now? Leaving Seattle sounded like a great idea, but that would make him the weakling. “I’m going back to Iraq.” Did he really say that? There was no way he was capable of such an intense thing. He knew what happened to him out there and yet, he didn’t care now what happened. “I can take myself home.” Owen turned and placed his keys in her hand. “I’m walking.”

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

All of this was happening too fast for Cristina to comprehend. Everything else that came out of his mouth was a blur except the five words she made him promise he'd never say. "No" Cristina whispered as Owen walked away. "I said no god damnit!" she shouted louder, as she slid Owen's keys in her pocket and walked towards him. "You're not going back to Iraq, you're coming to the hospital so I can check out your hand and then I'll take you home" Cristina demanded, as Owen scoffed and walked away. Sighing, she did the last thing she thought of doing; grabbing his arm she repeated herself. "I said you're coming with me"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

“Cristina, I said to leave me be” he shouted as she grabbed at his arm. It took him off guard and he pinned her against the car. It wasn’t in a rough matter. “Listen to me. Stop it. Just stop it.” Her constant presence was eating him alive. “You are killing me here. Keep your distance from me. I mean it. I don’t think I can be around you right now. It’s too much. It hurts because I thought we had something great going on. I thought everything was perfect. Now, you’re gone. What am I meant to do?” Owen pulled away from her and shook his head. “My hand is fine. You’re not mine and I am not yours. Maybe it’s the way it has to be. I guess if you prefer him over me…I can’t hate you for that.” He slipped his throbbing hand into his pocket and pushed all the pain he was feeling, away. That’s how he had done it in Iraq. He had pushed all the fear and pain away. There was no time to be fearful. It was war and one had to be ready for anything. “Our relationship ran its course. So…it’s time to move on and I have to accept that.” His anger had slowly died down. At the moment, he felt like he was having an out of body experience. All of this didn’t seem real. It was like a dream or something. “Good luck with everything.”

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

As soon as her hand hit his arm, she knew that she shouldn't have done that. Breathing heavy and at the brink of tears when Owen had her pinned up aganist the wall, Cristina tried so hard to keep everything together. "I know your hand is killing me, let me help you, please" Cristina pleaded with him, knowing it was probably not going to lead her anywhere. "You say good luck like you're not going be to around. Owen, our relationship didn't work but I still need you" Cristina shouted as he walked away once more. Sighing, she hoped her doing this didn't turn out like the other night did. "Damnit Owen I said listen to me" she shouted, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around. "I need you, my kids need their Uncle Owen, Iraq doesn't need you...Seattle does"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

“I’m not” he told her. “I have the hospital, but nothing else. I don’t really have a social life. I spend most of my time working on patients and then being with you. Now, I don’t have you. So…what’s the point in being in Seattle? I lost what I loved…what I still do love.” His heart was breaking and his emotions were getting the best of him. He was vulnerable. Owen had no other choice but to listen to Cristina. It was obvious she was not going to give up. “Cristina…please…” He didn’t really want to go back to Iraq, but where was he to go? Seattle used to be his place. It wasn’t now. It had no meaning except his work. This is where he had met Cristina and had fallen in love. Now, it was nothing. “I can’t.” Owen shook his head. “It’s too much.” He didn’t feel like himself without Cristina. She had mended him. She had fixed the once broken soldier and now he felt like he was back at the beginning. “I still love you. Why can’t I be enough for you?”

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

"You are good enough" Cristina whispered, tears forming in her eyes as she spoke. "My heart though..it will always have a place for Burke. He's the father of my children. I love you too, don't get me wrong. It's just he...it's hard to explain" Cristina whispered, grabbing Owen's hurt hand and holding it to her chest. "But you put me back together when I was broken and didn't know what to do, I'll always love you for that. But I need you too. No one gets me like you, please don't leave me" she whispered, pratically begging. She didn't know what to do right now, or even if she was making the right choice. "Please don't leave"

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen looked at her. He was unable to speak. "You just want someone else" he told her. "You want someone you have known longer. I know. I know I cannot compete with Preston Burke." He sighed and pursed his lips together. Owen didn't know what to do. Should he stay? Cristina was begging him to not leave her. "Why do you need me?" he asked her. "You have him. What good could I do for you?" He shook his head and swallowed hard. "You will always have a place in my heart, Cristina.....but I am trying to make sense of all of this. I don't know what to do anymore. You were my reason and now...I don't even know." Owen moved closer as he lingered close to her. "I wish I could somehow change your mind. I can't. I'm sorry we didn't work out."