Welcome!

R Y A N
MURPHY


Vital Stats
-I HEAR THE VOICES WHEN I'M DREAMING
-28 Candles
-Wild Child
-Tomboy
-Loud Mouth
-Opinionated
-Stubborn
-Flirt
-Loyal
-Intelligent

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Relationship Key:

Rock You Like A Hurricane
----Friends
it's early morning, the sun comes out (Aquaintence)
last night was shaking and pretty loud (Average)
what is wrong with another sin (Good)
the bitch is hungry, she needs to tell (Close)
so give her inches and feed her well (Best)
more days to come, new places to go (Family)

You Give Love A Bad Name
----Enemies
shot through the hearts (Annoyance)
you're to blame (Rival)
i played my part (Antagonist)
you played your game (Hardcore)

Open Arms
-----Love Interests
this empty house seems so cold (Past)
feeling your heart beat with mine (Current)
how much i wanted you home (Crush)
how could our love be so blind (Fling)
we sailed on together, we drifted apart (Friends with Benefits)
softly you whisper, you're so sincere (Future)
now that you've come back, tonight and today (On/Off)
wanting to hold you, wanting you near (Forbidden)
i need you to stay (Final)

Color Key:
Hunter
Demon
Supernatural Creature (evil/good)
Female
Male

Reply with:

*Group Titles from: Scorpions, Bon Jovi, and Journey
lyrics from: "Rock You Like A Hurricane" by Scorpions, "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi, and "Open Arms" by Journey*

ANY WAY YOU WANT IT, THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT, ANY WAY YOU WANT IT
The List

D E A Nwinchester
+so give her inches, and feed her well+
+you're to blame+
+how much i wanted you home+
-more to come-

"Oh god... Ryan. I really don't know how to begin, but I guess I should, at the very least, be somewhat truthful about who she is... Hopefully it doesn't ever come out in the truthful form to the girl herself, though. I couldn't cope with that happening, since she'd probably kill me for it.

From when my mother died.. I found it hard to really get to know other people. In fact, I was shocked that my mother was suddenly gone. I was, admittedly, searching for someone who I could try to forget about the troubles. Sammy... was great, truly, but I couldn't help seeing our mother in him. Instead, I needed a friend. And that friend ended up becoming Ryan.

We met at a young age, five for me, four for her, and we instantly seemed to hit it off. We became inseparable, and anywhere she went, I'd go, and vice versa (except for the obvious). I think she never truly understood my feelings, though, for even at a tender age of five-seven, I saw her in a sense.. I couldn't explain. My father just laughed it off whenever I told him about it, saying that it was nothing to be worried about. So why did he seem to be shit scared?

At ten years old, I began to go with my father on his hunting trips, along with Sammy. I refused to let Ryan come, not for the reason that I gave (that she was a "girl") but because... I didn't want to see her get hurt. I couldn't let her get hurt, for she was the person who I protected along with Sam. I think she resented that fact, but I thought that if I told the truth, it'd just get complicated. Far too complicated.

When we hit puberty, I began to take a keen interest in girls, but overlooked who was right in front of me. Sure, I had feelings alright, but she was also my friend for heaven's sake. A close friend. I didn't want anything to happen romantically in case I lost that friendship that I thrived on. So, I dated other girls. By fourteen I had slept with two of them, and yet none of them were long term. I couldn't... a fling was all I could really have. The demands for a long relationship scared me. Scared my feelings. Could I betray myself for lust?

Me and Ryan did sleep together.. once... during her eighteenth birthday. I got so pissed that I couldn't be bothered with pretension, and used the drink to my advantage. Admittedly she was pretty well gone herself, but nonetheless. The following morning I just left, leaving only a kiss on her forehead as a reminder. I was full of regret. It felt like I'd used her.

She was a great support when me and Cassie split up, admittedly, and she even drove halfway across the US just to comfort me. Christ that was insane, even for her. Now and again, though, I always think 'what if', and now hide my true questions behind a flirting line. Seemed to be the best idea. Love is complex... and I don't understand it."


"I'm not entirely sure why I even still admit to knowing Dean Winchester. I can't deny that I know him. Sadly I think he's rubbed off too much on me for me to deny it. I met Dean Winchester at the tender young age of four. What was I thinking? I don't remember a lot about when I first met Dean. I remember so tactfully asking if he was sad cause his "mommy esploded." I remember telling him my mom died. I did not know the details about it at that age though. Sometimes I try to think back to a time before the Winchesters, but I was so young, really there was not time before them. People don't care about that though. They want the juicy stuff. So here it is. This is only according to what John told me once, cause I sure as hell don't remember it, but when I was around six... I can't believe I'm admitting to this, I asked if I could marry Dean one day. (I was young and impressionable... shut up) I don't think Dean knows about it. I hope Dean doesn't know about it.

Anyway, when we were really little we were almost inseparable. It's a scary thought. We were terrible children. I suppose separately we weren't all that bad, but put us together and I put my father through more babysitting Hell than I think was possible at that age. It was worth it though. One time, when I was about eight, I lit Dean's hair on fire. That might not have been worth it. I figured I would only have to deal with my dad. But John decided to pick up the boys that day and well... I finally met the wrath of John Winchester. It was all in fun though. Dean had this bald spot on his head for a month after that. I think that was the highlight of my life. We weren't together all the time though. When Dean got to be around ten, John started taking him with him on hunts, teaching him. I wanted to go but Dean kept saying no cause I was a girl (even though I was ten times a better shot than he was... still am).

I must admit I hated his adolescence more than anything. Once Dean hit puberty it was like all he could think of was girls. Not that it's a problem. Except for the fact that apparently I was no longer a girl. God, that makes it sound like I wanted Dean's attention at thirteen. Did I? I guess I did. I mean I suppose I've always wanted attention from Dean. Oh that's a disturbing thought. When he got older I saw him less cause he went on hunts with his dad. I got to go with them a couple times when I was about sixteen. It was around that time that I suddenly became a girl again. I'm not even going to try and understand the inner workings of Dean Winchester's mind.

John showed up with the boys on my eighteenth birthday. Dean went with me to go pick out a car. I think I had saved every penny I made, or scammed, for the past four years. Anyway, he's responsible for the gorgeous piece of machinery that I drive now. I wish I could say I saw my baby first, but it was Dean. It was like a light was shining on it. A red 1969 Chevy Nova. It's my baby, and totally beats the hell out of Dean's car (in my deluded mind anyway). Of course, getting a car wasn't exactly the only birthday present I got from Dean. It was only once... well except for after sam went to school but that's the not the point. Thank god, no one ever found out about that. My father would have killed me, and I'm afraid to think of what John would have done. They ended up leaving a few days later and I didn't see them again for two years.

The last time I saw all of the Winchesters was when Sammy was sixteen. I saw Dean a couple times after that, but only for a short time. I remember him calling me one evening. He told me that Sam and his dad got in a huge fight. If there is one thing I have mastered in my life it is knowing when Dean was upset about something, or scared, or hurt. In that instance he was all three. I drove for a day and a half and met up with him somewhere in California. That was the last time I actually saw Dean Winchester. He called me when his girlfriend, Cassie, dumped him. I was about ready to throttle the both of them. Her for hurting him, I'm very protective of Dean. I can't help it. And him for calling me at some ungodly hour in the morning. I've been through a lot with him. Some of the hardest times in my life I went through with Dean Winchester. I just wish he was there when my dad died, or that I could have been with him when his did. That was the scariest part of my life. I was able to handle the fact that my father was dead, that Caleb was dead. It was the idea that Dean was too that terrified me. I don't know what I'd do without him, even if he's not around.