Photobucket

Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
InvisionFree - Free Forum Hosting
Welcome to Beautiful World. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Name:   Password:


 

 Kamaris, the divine
smartasdan
Posted: Jul 13 2007, 07:39 PM


Human
*

Group: Members
Posts: 149
Member No.: 422
Joined: 9-July 07



Name: Kamaris
Age: unknown; appears 23
Gender: male
Race: solar (angel/human offspring)
Special Ability: can fly ( only for a few minutes at a time, then he needs to rest for half the amount of time he flew for. He can fly up to 60 feet high and is fairly adept at flying.)
Faction: neutral ( but he may join one of the sides; probably chess)
Rank: none currently

Wins:
Ties: 1
Losses:

Personality:Kamaris is a kind and caring person who will cure anyone who asks. He has a gentle and subdued personality. However, never hurt the innocent or defenseless in front of him. Unless you are in the mood for pain.

Physical Description: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/19513572/ , http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/43243595/

History: Kamaris was once an abandoned orphan, unknown to his town or anybody in it. He just suddenly appeared there one day. However, he became a healer for the people and was amazing at it. Eventually it was almost as if he was a magical being. Then they gave him a holy Arm. On contact with it he changed. He suddenly gained tattoos and his hair grew. But most importantly, he grew a pair of wings. Not any normal set of wings. He grew a pair of 16 foot wingspan wings that had white feathers and were extremely powerful. He had turned into his true form; a solar, the offspring of an angel and a human. He set off to find out the truth about his past, promising to one day return.

He traveled far and wide, searching for other solars and outsiders. Finally, he found a small and secluded group of others like him. He was accepted as one of them and slowly adapted to their ways. They were peaceful people, using their skills and abilities to help others around them. He talked to the elders of the community quite often; he finally learned how he had been born.

There once was a great battle between two of the greatet magic users in the whole of Mar Heaven. One of them, a mage from Caldea (no, not Dorothy) used a dimensional zipper arm to trap her opponent in. However, her opponent used a dimensional arm also, and the use of a dimension arm inside a demiplane caused a planar rift, which alerted all outsiders. The angels appeared and fought off the invading devils and demons. However, the demons realized they were defeated so they shut the portal. Then, the angels realized that they were trapped on this plane. Nobody noticed that a few demons and devils had made it through also. The angels settled down and hid their latent powers, breeding with the natives. However, the positive energy radiating from them caused crops to grow and the rain to be plentiful. So some people soon caught on and started attacking the few remaining angels. Finally, only a few select survived. They flew off and hid inside a mountain, where they met a group who were called dwarves, who were a subteraenean group of humanoids who used metals and minerals for everything. Both had something in common: they had been shunned by the outside world. So they became friends, and eventually built a great empire (still going underground.)

However, the angels children were half humans, so they could not conceal their powers so easily. They had a strong addiction to helping others, and making life easier for others. Some still possesed outsider traits, such as wings or strange colored skin tones.

Kamaris soon realized exactly how much more he could do. So he set out, and on the way collected more Arms. HE is still on his mission to help others. However, he has heard vague rumors of a group called the chess no kama, who were in desperate need of a healer...

Level: 1
EXP: 60/100
Stats:
Strength: 10
Speed: 20
Magic:30
Defense: 10
Synchronization: 20
Luck:10
Pewter: 0

ARM
Name: healing angel
Type: holy
Class: D
Accessory: small pendant with wings and a wrap
Normal Form: heals designated target


ARM
Name: Holy Sword
Type: holy
Class: B
Accesory: small keychain that looks like a sword
Normal Form: a sword witha golden blade; can be used to reflect darkness arms back at the user. Also, hits with this sword do not cause physical damage; instead, they cause nonlethal damage; enough non-lethal damage and someone faints.
Version 1: Defender of the Wronged: Causes a giant shield to appear that can be used to block just about any attack. Also, from the front, it can fire out beams of searing light that disable an opponent by making them temporarily blind. The shield is about four feet wide and 8 feet tall.
Version 2: An orb surrounds opponent entirely, and while within the confines, the captured person cannot use any Arms. If he does, the orb shines pure light, temporarily blinding him, and if it is a darkness arm, it is negated.

ARM
Name: Righteous Crossbow
Class: D
Type: weapon
accessory: a cross with a circle around it.
Normal Version: able to fire beams of light from a sword/crossbow it becomes. Non-lethal damage.
nanashi
Posted: Jul 13 2007, 07:58 PM


Is the ruler of you
*

Group: Members
Posts: 915
Member No.: 337
Joined: 13-May 07



Hmm, where to start, okay

1. If it's his own faction, that would mean he's a neutral

2. What's with this highest rank thing, not even in chess

3. You should put in a lot more history, about two paragraphs

4. You forgot to put in his level, I see lots of people do that, this one should out at level one like most characters

5. Where is your characters arm, your history said that there's a holy arm

That's all I see wrong in this one
Zecarius
Posted: Jul 13 2007, 09:23 PM


Booyaka, booyaka! 619!
*

Group: Members
Posts: 8,416
Member No.: 37
Joined: 12-January 07



A couple more things:

You still need a personality. How does he act?

The special ability is vague, and limitless. How does he fly? How often/how long can he do so?

Also, how did angels come to be in the land of MAR? Since he is the offspring of one, either the arrival of angels needs to be explained, or how he managed to get from wherever angels are to MAR.
nanashi
Posted: Jul 14 2007, 01:53 AM


Is the ruler of you
*

Group: Members
Posts: 915
Member No.: 337
Joined: 13-May 07



I was wondering about the angel thing too, but I juat ignored it, I ignored it, I noticed the flying thing as well but ignored it and didn't notice the personality.


Anyway, I'll leave the rest to Zec
Zecarius
Posted: Jul 14 2007, 05:20 AM


Booyaka, booyaka! 619!
*

Group: Members
Posts: 8,416
Member No.: 37
Joined: 12-January 07



Still a few things:

Faction still needs to be neutral.

Rank should just be removed.

He needs personality.

The history is better, but still lacks sense. Where did the angels and demons come from? And there should only be one ARM that can go through dimensions: the Gatekeeper Clown. And that is a recent ARM made from Babbo.

Also, you can't start with that many ARM at those levels. Look back at the rules; 2 C, 1 C and 2 D, 1 B, or 1 A, unless you have a great, mighty history.
smartasdan
Posted: Jul 14 2007, 11:27 PM


Human
*

Group: Members
Posts: 149
Member No.: 422
Joined: 9-July 07



he used some of his money to buy one of the arms ( healing angel), and the other one was given to him by the outcast members.
Joe
Posted: Jul 14 2007, 11:35 PM


Multi-Quadrant Ruler
*

Group: Overlord
Posts: 9,070
Member No.: 20
Joined: 8-January 07



Your D Class ARM has a version. D Class ARM don't have versions. They're like the Dagger ARM.

Also your reasonf or those ARM won't cover it.

I suggest you just have a B Class ARM and add two versions to it to make up for the other two ARM.
Joe
Posted: Jul 15 2007, 12:14 AM


Multi-Quadrant Ruler
*

Group: Overlord
Posts: 9,070
Member No.: 20
Joined: 8-January 07



Well the new update is good I guess. Yeah to hell with it I approve. If anyone has any...... onjections or whatever then go ahead and say them.
Zecarius
Posted: Jul 15 2007, 03:19 AM


Booyaka, booyaka! 619!
*

Group: Members
Posts: 8,416
Member No.: 37
Joined: 12-January 07



I guess the angel thing is okay... but please, copy and paste that last part of the history, which would be his personality, into the personality section.
smartasdan
Posted: Jul 19 2007, 03:35 AM


Human
*

Group: Members
Posts: 149
Member No.: 422
Joined: 9-July 07



got new arm and 10 xp from Kamaris vs. Saku.
smartasdan
Posted: Jul 2 2008, 12:30 AM


Human
*

Group: Members
Posts: 149
Member No.: 422
Joined: 9-July 07



0 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
InvisionFree - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
Learn More · Sign-up for Free



Skin created by Tariq. of the IF Skin Zone.

Hosted for free by InvisionFree* (Terms of Use: Updated 2/10/2010) | Powered by Invision Power Board v1.3 Final © 2003 IPS, Inc.
Page creation time: 0.1796 seconds | Archive
Affiliates!




MAR Heaven J

Black Heart Dark heart

Add us!
Beautiful World
Beautiful World