Title: Night at the Burlesque
Description: No, it's not what you think.
karmicaria - August 16, 2007 02:00 AM (GMT)
OOC: Because I was bored and had a minor amount of inspiration, I decided to turn the "gathering" at the Burlesque house into an RP. Have fun, eat, drink and be merry!
"Another one passed, Izzy." Dahlia came dancing into the President's office. "I can't believe this actually passed. Now all we have to do is rework the funding act, get it to quorum and have it passed and we're good. We can take another break."
"You want to do what now? Do you have any idea how hard it will be to get something like the funding act passed. Especially with the way a lot of these people are? We had minimal support last time. What makes you think that there will be more support this time around?"
"People change?" Dahlia shrugged. She wasn't going to let the stupidity of 95% of the nations out there get her down. "All I'm saying is that if we, the Karmicarian government or one of our protectorates, can get something like that passed, it would be...a big step up for us."
"That is true, but the chances of it happening are rather minimal. Still, I think we should at least give it a shot. " Izzy grinned as she stood and walked towards Dahlia. "Now, why don't you go home and get ready for the party?"
"I will. I'll see if Accelerus is up to coming with me. See you there?"
Izzy nodded to Dahlia, which was her way of dismissing someone. As Dahlia left, she sat back down. Leafing through her filing cabinet, she pulled out the old copy of the funding act that they had worked so hard on. "I suppose it's worth another shot." she sighed as she crumpled the paper and threw it on the ground. "But right now, it's time to get ready." she left her office and headed towards her apartment. After showering and changing, she made her way to the Burlesque house. She became more and more excited at the prospect of seeing Dominique.
The car pulled into the massive driveway. There were already a large number of cars parked or on their way there. Izzy was pleased to see the amount of people already there. She stepped out of the car and greeted various people as she headed to the door. As she entered the building, her heart skipped a beat as she saw Dominique standing at the end of the hall greeting guests. They made eye contact and Izzy's heart almost stopped.
"I'm glad you made it, Izzy." Dominique smiled. "You don't have a date? I thought you might bring one of the Kennyite boys."
"Are you insane?"
"Maybe a little." grinning, she took Izzy by the arm and made her follow her into another room where there was a bar set up, a number of people hanging around it already quite drunk. "Help yourself, dear. I will return once I've become tired of greeting people, which shouldn't take too long." she smiled again as she walked away. Izzy got herself a drink and found a free overstuffed chair to collapse into while she waited for Dominique to return. Every now and then, she would smile and say hello to familiar and unfamiliar faces alike.
Kenny - August 16, 2007 03:37 AM (GMT)
A familiar stocky Latino guy sauntered up between the rows of cars in the burlesque parking lot, breathing in the cool night air, and chiding his lanky redheaded companion, whose face was buried in a thick book.
"Dude, put that shit away already."
"Shut it, Rico; I was dumb enough to rely on mail order and didn't get the damn book till today. I can't put it down."
"Man, you're wasting your time," Rico shot back. "For your information, Hagrid dyes ... his hair orange, and Severus Snape buys a fabulous new pair of red pumps to complement his Estee Lauder ruby lip gloss, and soon becomes Chief of the Hogwarts Fashion Police!"
"Oh, is that what you say?" Ace jeered, as he turned to Chapter 16: Harry Gets a Sex Change. "Speaking of which, who would've thought Harry Potter's penis was actually a Horcrux?!"
"Yeah, well, you better bring your game tonight, 'cause shit's gonna go down!"
"Really? And why is tonight any different than any of the other night we come to this place?" Ace inquired.
"Dude, I'm tellin' you, all them Karmicarian hos, celebrating the UN finally passing a resolution preserving their right to get birth control? Guaranteed action, bro!"
"Well, if you say so," Ace conceded as he shut the book. "I was getting tired of Hermione moaning about how all her Confundus Charms on Harry's crotch keep backfiring anyway. Let's get this shit started!"
"Time to get us some Karmicarian puss--"
"So, seriously? Snape finally comes out in Chapter 27?"
"Shut the fuck up already."
The Palentine - August 17, 2007 07:44 PM (GMT)
Anywhere the words booze and burlesque could be found in the same sentence, one could find Lord Julius. He headed over to the Burlesque to help celebrate the victory of passage of of the Accessable family planning Act. He arrived with his brother who dissapeared shortly after entering the bar. Lord Julius looked around to see if there was anybody he previously met...apart from "business transactions". Then he went to the bar and said,
"A Dry Martini great Barlord!"
Lord Julius started drinking his martini when the general noise of the bar was shattered by a high pitched woman's scream.
A very buxom young blond haired lady started to run through the bar, dodging patrons as if she was being chased by the hounds of Hell.
Following behind her was Julius's brother, who was smiling broadly as he honked his bicycle horn.
"What the......!!!!!!!!!????" , the Bartender cried out.
Lord Julius looked at his watch and said to the startled bartender,
"Ah! I see the 8:15 express is right on time!"
karmicaria - August 17, 2007 10:19 PM (GMT)
Izzy had been brought out of her thoughts and back to the real world by the sound of one of the girls screaming and the loud honk of a horn. As she looked in the direction of the noise, Crystal went storming by as though she was being chased by some unspeakable horror. Izzy grinned when she saw what it was chasing her. "Silly girl." she thought as her eyes we drawn to the bar. There stood Lord Julius, who was watching the scene as well. Her smile faded a little as she watched him and, she wasn't sure why. "Maybe I should look away before he notices me staring at him." she whispered to herself.
It seemed that the commotion continued. However, this time there were three girls who seemed to be running for their lives, except that they had the happiest looks on their faces. Part of her hoped that this one would have been caused by some Kennyite thug or extremely oppressed Gruenburger who has just discovered the joys of women, or in this case, men. One of the screaming, gleeful "girls" was indeed a man. Young, very attractive and easily mistaken for a woman. Izzy giggled a little as she continued to watch Burlesque employees being chased about the house.
Kenny - August 18, 2007 01:50 AM (GMT)
Rico was seated at a table reasonably out of the way from all the tumult, enjoying a mug of ale; the cool burlesque ambiance; all the hoochies racing around, their jubblies bouncing nicely as they fled The Palentine's deranged Marx Bros.; and of course, the sexy entertainers on stage, when Ace waddled up lugging two large boxes filled with dozens of small, brightly colored packages.
"What's all this?" demanded the former as he slid his mug aside to examine the boxes' contents.
"We've gotten our orders from Sammy," Ace replied. "Hand out these party favors to the clientèle, to raise awareness of the latest UN repeal among a key constituency. They're guaranteed to sew up support for our efforts."
"You're starting to sound like Sammy yourself," Rico noted with concern. "We gotta get you laid; you're definitely in the right place for it." He took a swig from his ale. "Besides, no way I'm wasting a visit here with work; this joint's strictly for pleasure."
"Actually, it's for both," Ace replied. "Sammy's gonna fire us if we don't start earning our pay."
"Do we even have a job?" wondered Rico.
Ace didn't answer. A short blonde cutie had walked up to them, drawn by the bright red wrappers. "What are these?" she asked.
"Something no good Karmicarian should go without," said Ace in a rather salesman-like tone. "Double-hulled latex tankers! With the UN repealing all your fun, you could use all the protection you can get!"
The girl gazed at the party favor. From each small package Surly the Repealinator's terrifying visage glared up at the customers, along with the words, "Hasta la vista, SPCC Regulation Act!" On the reverse side were the words, "Please support the repeal of Resolution #58."
"Heh," the girl chuckled half-heartedly and moved to return her trinket to the box.
"They're free!" Ace offered.
"Whatever," she shrugged, and wandered off, stuffing the souvenir in her pocket.
"Fuck no, I ain't givin' that lame pitch to everyone here," Rico protested. "I gotta reputation to uphold!"
"Hey handsome," cooed a voice behind him. Rico turned to find a devastatingly beautiful dark-haired lovely, eying him avariciously. "Whatcha got there?"
"Complimentary Surly condoms!" Rico announced, holding up one of the packages. "Extra strong, just like Surly!"
"Oo," the girl said as she reached for her prize, "I might be needing a few of these tonight."
"True dat," replied Rico. "Maybe later I can show you how to use one?" he added with a sly grin.
The girl giggled appreciatively, gave him one last coy smile and stalked off.
He turned triumphantly to Ace. "You're right, man; this place really is for both business and pleasure!"
"They stopped saying 'true dat' years ago, show-off," the redhead sneered in return.
karmicaria - August 18, 2007 03:17 AM (GMT)
Dominique noticed Rico and Ace looking through two boxes that had been set on their table. Curiosity overwhelmed her and she wandered over to them. "Evening boys. Hope you're not trying to sell that stuff in here." she smiled and winked at them and turned to walk away, but changed her mind. "Whatcha got there anyway, handsome?" she said, grinning at Ace.
Kenny - August 19, 2007 06:04 PM (GMT)
Ace grinned at his visitor, and held up several Surly condoms. "It's a gift for you!" he said jovially, adding with a wink: "But it will cost you your phone number. Just jot it down here, and you can get all the Surly protection you need!" He slipped a piece of scrap paper across the table.
"Ain't that right, Rico?" he asked, turning to acquire confirmation from his friend, only to find that Rico had slipped away quietly to join in on the chasing of many happily screaming and giggling Karmicarian sluts around the burlesque.
A sudden vibrating emanating from Ace's pocket interrupted their conference. He pulled out his cell, reading on the Caller ID window, "DICK BREATH." He flipped it open with a sigh.
"Not now, Sammy, I'm busy," he said impatiently. "... I know, but right now I'm trying to get ... I don't think he's here ... Rico is ... uh-huh ... yeah, I got it ... late." He slapped the phone back shut.
"Sammy's on the UN floor," he announced, for no particular reason, "there's been an upsurge of idiots there. You should know this, I'm sure you were following the Accessible Family whatever thing. He wants the Defenistratinator, but I don't see Iron Felix anywhere. ... Er, do you think he can be summoned?"
The Palentine - August 20, 2007 05:34 PM (GMT)
As the chaos unfolded around him, lord Julius smiled and thought,
"My dear brother certianly knows how to liven a place up a bit." He stopped one of the young ladies who was carrying a plate of appetizers and said,
"Excuse me, Miss? But could you get me a hard boiled egg?"
A lone solitary <HONK!> broke through the background noise.
"Make that Two boiled eggs my dear.", corrected Lord Julius as he gave the startled lass a smile. Then he lit up a cigar and continued drinking his martini.
Kenny - August 24, 2007 06:47 PM (GMT)
OOC: FYI, I've been talking to Karmi about this, and we had an idea to make this an ongoing roleplay for the region, sort of like the Strangers' Bar. Have your characters pop in from time to time for some drinks, relaxation, hijinks or a little undemanding roleplay. To that effect this will be pinned.
karmicaria - August 27, 2007 04:08 PM (GMT)
|Ace grinned at his visitor, and held up several Surly condoms. "It's a gift for you!" he said jovially, adding with a wink: "But it will cost you your phone number. Just jot it down here, and you can get all the Surly protection you need!" He slipped a piece of scrap paper across the table.|
Dominique smiled. "You already have my number, dear. Unless you're one of the few who doesn't have the business card." she winked at him. "I'm Dominique, owner and operator of the Burlesque. Call me any time you like. In fact, here's the number for my private line." she took the scrap piece of paper from him and wrote down her number. "Now, don't go giving that to anyone. It's for you and only you." she grinned and walked away.
The Palentine - October 12, 2007 03:05 PM (GMT)
Lord Julius walks over the the duo of Ace and Rico. he smiles plesently enough and says,
"Ah, you must be the two fine gentlemen my Empress keeps talking about. She would like to relay a message to you gents. She says she cant wait to see you tow and get her hand on you. i don't know what she means by that though. She was wearing a very scary smile on her face when she gave me the message. perhaps you could talk to her later. I hear she's thinking about checking this place out."
With that, Lord Julius nodded and walked back to the bar.
New New Kevlandia - June 10, 2009 01:00 AM (GMT)
"Hello? Anyone here?" the Grand Supreme Holy Emperor shouts as he scans the empty bar, his voice echoing in the darkness.
"You said there would be hot chicks here!" the GSHE screams. "There's no one here! Not even a geriatric, chain smoking floozy!"
"I... er, I mean... this used to be a happening spot, your Imperial Holiness. I thought..." Sir Alistair, the Emperor's faithful aide, mumbled. "Maybe they were shut down?"
The GSHE snarled "I hate you so much right now."
Sir Alistair lowers his head in shame.
"You drag me down to this frozen hell hole..." the GSHE rages.
Sir Alistair meekly retorts "You did find that diamond mine and that platinum mine, your Grand Majestic Imperialness. That's something, right?"
"Yeah, that was pretty good. But still! You can't speak to me until we find some women. And some hot ones. No more "just pretending" they're hot. Real hot ones." the GSHE whined.
Out of the corner of his eye, Sir Alistair spots a business card. He picks it up and reads it. "Your Royal Holy Highness, I think..."
"Shut it penis breath! No talkie-talkie, until I'm doin' the horizontal mambo with some mega hotties! Got it?"
"Understood, your Imperial Majestic Holiness." Sir Alistair whips out his cell phone, shrugs and dials the number on the card and crosses his fingers...
karmicaria - August 6, 2009 08:10 PM (GMT)
Dominique walked slowly around the burlesque, wondering why business had slowed down so much. "Guess the people in the region just aren't as horny as they used to be.", she thought. Taking a deep breath, she started to pull the sheets off the furniture, sending dust flying into the air. "Time to get this show back on the road!"
"No! Don't put that there! It belongs in the corner!"
"Is something wrong, Dom?"
"Yes, Izzy. You can't find good help anymore. Probably the fault of the Kennyites. The piano belongs in the corner, the tables need to be set up in a certain way, and I ordered red and black tablecloths, not black and red! This place is never gonna be ready for the grand re-opening!"
"Calm down, Dom. Everything will be just fine. The place will look perfect and then we'll get all our old customers back and business will be booming again. Why don't you take a break and let me handle things for a while?" Izzy smiled sweetly at Dominique, as she put her arm around her and lead her to the door. "Come on. You need it, sweetheart.
"Alright, fine. I'll take a break from this and go get the ad out to the papers, television studios and radio stations. I'll be back in a while."
Kenny - August 9, 2009 05:31 PM (GMT)
Izzy barely had time to react when she looked up and saw a perfectly formed phalanx of Stripper Commandos charge into the burlesque and halt right in front of her. It was as though a mob of Jhessan clones had just strode through the door, as the leather-clad vixens were definitely not shy about their sexuality -- indeed, a few of them looked ready to give some of Karmicaria's hard-working "career girls" a run for their money -- but at the same time were clearly well-trained and disciplined and poised to kick ass at a moment's notice.
Commander Chiang, standing at the head of the brigade, stepped forward with an uncharacteristically friendly smile. "Isabella!" she gushed almost genuinely as she gently grasped the lady president's shoulders and leaned forward so the two could exchange pecks on the cheek. "How lovely to see you again!"
Izzy wasn't sure if the two had ever actually met before, and truth be told, neither was Commander Chiang, but a little familiarity never hurt to get what you wanted.
"I don't know if Dominique told you," Chaing explained as she stepped back again, "but we're supposed to be this evening's entertainment. So if you could kindly point us in the direction of our dressing rooms, we'll get out of your hair."
Moments later, as the girls made their way backstage, one of Chiang's lieutenants turned to her: "Do you really think this plan is going to work?"
Chiang scoffed at the very idea of failure. "The Grand Re-opening of this famed establishment is being publicized relentlessly throughout the region, Amanda; I'm certain at least a few people from this mysterious Omygodtheykilledkenny
bizarro-nation will show."
"What do we know about these people anyway?" Amanda asked.
"Only that their beer sucks, their riots are always phony and manufactured, and their stripper commandos aren't nearly as hot," Chiang replied. "Oh, and their
president's scandals are always dull financial-fraud stories that barely keep the people awake."
"So they're like a boring version of us?"
"But why do we have to be so secretive about it with our hosts? I mean, they are
our allies and all. I think we can trust the president of Karmicaria!"
"What you call 'allies' I call 'meddlers,'" Chiang growled. "And besides, the Karmicarians would freak if they knew we planned on kidnapping paying customers so we can...er, 'extract useful information' from them."
"Good point," Amanda observed.
"And also, there's something about those Karmicarian whores I just don't like," Chiang continued. "The way they're always pestering me about Susa's whereabouts. I realize that he's one of KCU's top shareholders and they only want to protect their investors, but why do they have to be so God-damned nosy? It's really none of their business that I keep him handcuffed to my bed at all times--erm, locked up in a military prison. He's tried to kill many innocent people; it's a matter of national security. Those clingy Karmi wenches seem to think they have 'dibs' on Susa just because he used to be married to their queen, but what they fail to realize is that he's my boy to fuc-- er, tortur-- fuck-- a little of both. Now, make sure our girls are ready for tonight. Their outfits have be as tight-fitting as possible. If we want this thing to go down without a hitch, the girls have to be banging
"Yes, Commander," Amanda said compliantly, and departed.
Chiang, meanwhile, turned her attention to the bar, where a couple of newcomers had settled in before showtime.
She turned to another of her lieutenants. "What are those idiots doing here?" she demanded.
"Oh, Ace and Rico?" the girl replied. "They're regulars, almost like VIPs. They're here all the time."
"Fucking stoner morons are gonna blow our cover!" Chiang snapped. "Get rid of them!"
"The usual way?"
"Yes," Chiang assented. "Offer to give them private dances backstage, tie them up like you're gonna do something freaky to them, then just leave 'em there!"
The Palentine - August 15, 2009 04:35 PM (GMT)
Lord Julius walked into the burlesque, and made his way to the bar. He was glad the place was re-opening, as it was the only place, in the region, apart from his office, that he could get a really good martini. He motioned to the bartender and said,
"Baskim, my boy! So good to see you. Use your skills and mix me up a martini please."
A few minutes later he was happily sipping the drink, and casually glancing around the place.
karmicaria - May 25, 2010 02:58 PM (GMT)
"Strippers from the Kennyites? Really?" , Izzy scoffed as they headed to their dressing rooms. "I don't know how we've come to this." she sighed as she continued to get the Burlesque organized once again.
"That table goes over there, fellas. Oh, and could we get those..what are those, flowers?" she examined the center pieces more closely. They were artificial flowers, the center of them brightly coloured condoms. "Oh, for crying out loud. Who's idea was that?"
"Madame Dominique's, Lady President."
"Of course it would be. Oh well, set them up and then make sure the booze is well stocked. We're going to get all our regulars back in here and some new faces, I'm sure!"
Dominique paced back and forth in her office, smacking her hand with a leather whip. "How are we going to pull this off?" she said to herself.
"Ma'am? Just open the doors, and they will come."
"Is that an innuendo, my dear?" she smirked at the attractive man sitting behind her desk. "I knew there was a reason I chose you. If this goes well, then we can focus on getting her out of office and you in, my love. I'm so tired of pretending with her. She -has- got to go!"
With a half smile and a nod, he stood and walked towards her. "This should prove to be rather interesting. A new dawn for the people of Karmicaria!" He grabbed hold of her waist, pulling her into a kiss. "Now tell me, are there any attractive, gullible females in positions of power among the other Nations of Antarctic Oasis?"
"They're all gullible, but not so much attractive. Of course, some would argue with me on that."
"Right then. Shall we get those doors open, welcome our patrons and get this thing in full swing?"
Dominique nodded frantically. "Lead the way, handsome!"