The camera begins to pan down once again to the an desk of Channel 42's news room for a special update.
Jane-- Good evening everyone, I'm Jane Sizemore with a special update. Frowns were turned upside down today as word spread quickly across the nation that Zarquon Froods was made the regional Delegate today in a huge upset that took the region by surprise. The main cause for alarm came from the fact that the nation wasn't even running in the race this year, and that Cobdenia hady been appointed to that position. But, that hasn't stopped millions from celebrating in the streets. The Honorable Joshua A. Norton, who is being seen as the new Delegate to the WA, is as we speak holding a post-race rally in the capital square in front of what use to be the Emperial Palace. Channel 42 has a crew set up there, and will now take you live as Judge Norton prepares to give a statement.The scene cuts to a large crowd in front of a raised stage in the middle of the square where Joshua Norton was waving his hands at the crowd in a triumphant manner.
Norton-- My fellow Froods, we have show the world that we wouldn't be held down by the oppressors of the AO, that the rise of Froodism can't be stopped and that will take the world by stor..........Before the words could leave his mouth, Norton was tackled by a team of Self-Destructive ninjas all screamin at the top of their lungs. Neville Grunder quickly raced up the platform and began to address the audience.
Grunder-- What you have just witnessed did not in fact happen, Judge Norton was not just tackled by a team of ninjas. All the molecules in his body simply decided that they wanted to move three feet to the right and did so at peril to his li......Another team of ninjas jumped up and attack Neville and wrestled him to the floor. Sintar Maxem then came up to the podium.
Sintar-- Good evening. The two men you just saw are criminals. Through an extensive investigation we can confirm that they are in fact the perpetrators of the heinous act that was carried out on our nation yesterday. At around 9am yesterday morning, Neville Grunder snuck into the missile facility at ZIPP disguised as myself and acquired a modified TEA missile capable of short range launching. The missile was equipped with a massive 50 million megaton warhead, and was then taken from the facility to neutral territory in the AO region. We do not know at this time, who recieved the missile but we do know where it was launched from and that is in the vicinity of the World Assembly complex. After an investigation at the scene, a small peice of paper was found with the coordinates of the Emperial Palace written on it in Judge Norton's handwriting.Norton rose quickly and tried to make harsh remarks before he was subdued again.
Norton-- And I'd have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling......AGGGH!!!
Sintar-- We have long suspected Norton of foul dealings since his appointment as Supreme Justice of the Grand High Court. Upon searching his office, we found among other things, a bazooka, a drawing of the WA building with a circle indicating where the missile should be launched from and a line drawn from that to an X where it's intended target was and a book entitled "How I Intend to Do It" by Joshua A. Norton. This is more than enough evidence to see him sentenced for treason.Norton broke free from his captors and approached Sintar.
Norton-- Ha!! Sentencing? There are only two people in the nation that can carry out sentencing and the other one is somewhere in that pile of rubble.
Zarquon-- That's not entirely true.The air was literally sucked from the air as the crowd gasped and looked in awe as Zarquon walked onto the stage.
Norton-- Who the hell are you?
Zarquon-- I am Zarquon, and I'm about to kick your ass.
Norton-- You're not Zarquon. Zarquon is dead!
Zarquon-- Was dead. Dr. Xanthum was able to use an earlier prototype of Joebot's armor to reanimate my body. And now, thanks to you, I can never die as this suit is as indestructable as the one Joebot wears now. Although my helmet is too big, and these pants chafe a bit, the shoes are a little small and...
Sintar-- Your Excellency, you were going to carry out sentencing?
Norton-- This is impossible!
Zarquon-- No, your nose is impossible, whereas I am real, and you are doomed. For the act of treason I, the Great Prophet and Emperor Extraordinaire Zarquon, do hereby sentence you Joshua A. Norton to be strapped to a rocket and launched to the deserted planet Vitruvia where you will no longer be a threat to anyone in this world or this galaxy. Lock him in the broom closet while the rocket is prepaired.The ninjas now hauled Norton off kicking and screaming, as Dr. Xanthum and Alexander Dimwitty came up and gathered around Zarquon and Sintar as Zarquon prepared to address the nation.
Zarquon-- Today there has been a great injustice done upon not only our nation but the entire region. Joshua Norton hacked into the regional headquarters database and re-routed the endorsements intended for the elected delegate and counted them towards himself and at the same time ensuring retaliation from the other nations which he would then use as probably cause to launch our entire arsenal on the rest of the world. His ultimate plan was to destroy the rest of civilization leaving only our nation as the sole survivors, as outlined in Chapter Four of his book under the heading "They've Got it Coming." I have explained the situation to the authorities, and have thus avoided the crisis. But now we must look forward to rebuilding and ensuring that this will never happen again. So go home, get drunk and procreate!!!The crowd roared with jubilation and the consumption of mass quantities of alcohol while some took to the third option right there on the spot. The scene quickly switch back to the studio as the camera man became very interested at the prospect of becoming the next big porn director. Jane seemed very nervous when she suddenly learned that the camera was back on her and her top was halfway undone. She quickly held it together with her hand while she fixed her disheveled hair with the other.
Jane-- And there you have it, the Emperor's alive and there's love in the street. For Channel 42, I'm Jane Sizemore.Dick Willing popped his head up from under the desk in fron of Jane.
Dick-- And I'm Dick Willing. Goodnight everybody!